KISSING
Captain Janeway was bored. Voyager was sailing peacefully along at warp 8. They were currently crossing through an area of space belonging to an emporium who, for once, weren’t hostile. On the contrary actually, the Ecap were friendly spacefaring beings who had greeted the Voyager crew with open arms and allowing trade and three days shore leave for the crew.
They still had three weeks left before they left Ecapian space and Captain Janeway found herself roaming her ship. It was late and apart from an occasional lone crewmember who passed her on their way to their quarters, she was alone.
Passing one of the holodecks she noticed that a program was running. Seeing the privacy lock wasn’t engaged she walked in.
Whatever she thought she would find, the sight that met her eyes was the last thing in the world she would have imagined. Seven was standing by the bar in Sandrines kissing a man, Chakotay. They had their arms wound around each other and they were kissing passionately. Apparently not noticing her entrance. Backing away she bumped into a table and knocked it over. Not caring for anything except getting out of their she fled the holodeck and ran all the way to the turbolift.
Catching her breath she leaned against the turbolift walls and shuddered.
Okay Kathryn, nice deep breaths, so you walked in on Seven and Chakotay kissing. They’re aloud to kiss, it’s not a crime…… I can’t believe they were kissing! I had no idea they were like that. Seven isn’t interested in having a relationship with anybody! And Chakotay….
Back in her quarters Kathryn tried to sleep but images of Chakotay kissing Seven invaded her mind. When she finally fell asleep it was other kinds of images that haunted her. Instead of it being Seven, it was she who was kissing Chakotay. That image haunted her for the entire night.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Walking onto the bridge the next morning Captain Janeway looked calm and collected. Nobody knew she had been standing in front of the mirror for fifteen minutes practising the look.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
“You wanted to see me Captain”. Seven said walking into the ready room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Life returned to normal, at least on the outside. Seven and the Captain never discussed it again. Kathryn caught Chakotay sitting smiling to himself shaking his head and giving a snort of laughter. She knew he was thinking about Seven kissing a holographic recreation of himself. She hadn’t told him that he was one of 72 recreations Seven had ´tried out´.
~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Can I come in?”
Story Index
By Emily
“Chakotay!” she shrieked.
Caught up in her train of thought she hadn’t noticed the turbolift doors stop and open and Chakotay standing just outside with an amused look on his face.
“How did you get hear?” she said without thinking. He hadn’t been in the turbolift with her had he?, no she was sure she had entered it alone.
He looked surprised and hesitated before saying
“I walked…are you alright you look pale.”
“I’m okay, really… I just thought I saw someone who I thought was you and then you turned up here and I was startled that’s all” Kathryn rambled while backing away from Chakotay.
“Someone who looked like me!?”
“Yeah, you know, red uniform, dark hair…. see you tomorrow” She said before turned and sprinted back to her quarters leaving a bewildered Chakotay behind.
Chakotay was already in his seat looking well rested and at ease. I`ll bet he’s rested, Kathryn thought as unbidden thoughts of what other things he had done with Seven entered her mind.
Feeling that she needed a little more practice looking calm she made a
b-line for her ready room barely acknowledging the others on the bridge.
By lunch time Kathryn had yet to be seen on the bridge and was beginning to dread that Chakotay would come in and ask her what was wrong and just as she was thinking the thought her buzzer chimed.
True enough Chakotay walked in and sat unceremoniously down in front of her desk.
“So, he said, are you going to tell me what’s wrong or do I have to guess?”
Kathryn sighed and stood up. She walked to the replicator asking the computer for a cup of coffee. Taking it she didn’t return to her desk but instead sat down on the couch by the window.
“I went by the holodeck last night” she said quietly, almost so that he couldn’t hear her.
He still didn’t know why that had ruffled her feathers so, but stayed quite knowing she hadn’t finished.
But she didn’t continue, thinking that by her mentioning that she had been there, he would connect the dots. She got frustrated, he´s really gonna have me spell it out for him.
“I walked in while you were there”, she said hoping he would get the point.
“Kathryn,” he said walking to her and sitting down next to her, “ I wasn’t in the holodeck last night.”
She had to do a double take not on the holodeck, but I clearly saw his face in the…holodeck her mind was racing then she suddenly stood up, nearly knocking the coffee out of her cup.
“Ofcourse, the holodeck!” she proclaimed to a still confused Chakotay.
She looked down at him and smiled. Sitting down again she said happily.
“You weren’t in the holodeck with Seven late last night were you?”
“With Seven! No, Kathryn what are you talking about?”
She smiled a radiant smile at him and leaned back against the couch.
“I was taking a walk last night and ended up in the holodeck where I saw Seven kissing someone. Someone who looked so much like you I thought it was you, but now I see, it must have been a holodeck character!”
“Wait, wait a minute. You saw Seven kissing me, I mean a recreation of me!”
Kathryn stood up again,
“Get out”
“What”
“I have to talk to Seven,it would be better if you weren’t hear get out.”
Silently Chakotay stood and walked out, Kathryn’s wheels were spinning so fast he couldn’t keep up. Me kissing Seven, crazy, he thought, Kathryn’s the only one I want to kiss.
“Yes please, sit down.” Kathryn said motioning Seven to sit down on one of the chairs by the desk.
“First of all I want to apologise for walking in on you in the holodeck the other evening. It was inexcusable behaviour on my part and I understand if you’re upset with me”.
Seven just sat there.
“Seven…”
“There is no need for you to apologise Captain, I am aware of the privacy lock on the holodeck and could have engaged it, I was aware that someone could come in although being the time of night it was I thought it unlikely”. Seven said in her usual calm voice.
The Captain leaned back in her chair and looked at Seven somewhat perplexed.
“Do you mind if I ask why you were kissing a holographic Chakotay. I’ve never noticed you taking any romantic liking to anyone onboard, Chakotay included”.
“Having observed lieutenants Torres and Paris kiss I found myself curious as to why it is preferred by so many.”
“So you decided to ´try it out´ on a hologram!”
“Precisely, I examined the activity with each male crewmember so as to be able to choose the best subject for the actual activity.”
Kathryn just sat there staring at her. After a while she got up and walked around the desk so that she was standing beside the chair Seven was sitting in,
“Do you mean to tell me you not only kissed a holographic Chakotay but a holorecreation of every male crewmember on board!”
“Yes. I debated asking the real crewmembers but thought that might lead to..misunderstandings”.
“Ill bet.” Kathryn said dryly.
She was about to say something but was interrupted by the chirp of Sevens commbadge.
*Doctor to Seven you’re late for your weekly check-up*
The Captain mouthed to Seven to go ahead.
“I’m on my way Doctor.”
When Seven had left Kathryn stood staring after her, wondering if she should be laughing or raging mad. Shaking her head she headed for the replicator. I need a drink!
She had thought that the night of sleeplessness had been a one time thing and that the dreams would go away. They didn’t. Back to roaming the ship I guess she thought. But this time I’m staying clear of the holodecks!
Instead she went to the messhall, replicating a cup of tea she sat down on of the couches by the window and stared out at the stars.
“Penny for your thoughts”
she turned around swiftly knocking her tea onto the floor in the process.
Chakotay just smiled and knelt down and handed her the now empty cup.
“Seems I have a tendency to startle you these days.” He said sitting down next to her.
“Yeah, I must be getting jumpy in my old days” Kathryn said and got up to replicate a new cup of tea.
They were silent for a while until he said
“So?”
“What?”
“I said penny for your thoughts earlier, so what were you so deep in thought about?”
“I was thinking about how from now on I’m never going to walk into a holodeck unannounced.”
Chakotay laughed
“I’m glad you find it so amusing”. Kathryn said but couldn’t hide the small smile on her lips.
“You really thought it was me?” he asked
“well yes, it certainly looked like you.”
Chakotay smiled and shook his head
“I wouldn’t kiss Seven, Kathryn. You may not want to hear this but there’s only one person on this ship I would want to kiss.”
“You’re right I didn’t want to hear that.”
“You are the only person I would want to kiss…Kathryn”, Chakotay said in a low voice moving closer to her.
“Oh” was all she said as he gently put his lips on hers.
For a short moment they just sat like that, lips against lips not moving then she started to relax and he deepened the kiss. Soon they were kissing passionately, her hands went up to his head and caressed his head and he cupped her head in between his hands. After several minutes she gasped and drew back, standing up she started backing away from him her gaze was blurred and her breathing was shallow.
“Kathryn?”
“Uh look Chakotay, I don’t know what just happened but can we just forget about it.” Before he had a chance to respond she was out of the door and he was left sitting in the messhall.
Kathryn was standing in Chakotays doorway. They had barely spoken a dozen words to each other in three days. That’s how long had gone since the kiss. They had been civil but chilly to each other on the bridge and both of them knew that the crew, at least the bridge crew, were beginning to notice. Usually there would be easy banter and conversation, now they just sat there.
There was no answer forthcoming from Chakotay so Kathryn walked in anyway, not wanting to just stand in the corridor.
He was sitting in one of the comfort chairs by the table a book in his hands.
“Why did you come Captain?” he asked in a low voice. She cringed.
“I didn’t come here as captain, there’s only Kathryn here now.”
“Alright, what does Kathryn want?”
“I want to apologise”.
“Apology accepted, now if you don’t mind I´d like to continue with my book.”
“Chakotay!” She said sharply. She walked forward and knelt in front of him.
“I want to explain why I freaked out the way I did the other night, I want to talk to you…please”.
Chakotay sighed, he looked down at her pleading face,she looks tired he thought.
“Alright Kathryn, lets talk.” He put the book on the table in front of him and instead of sitting in the chair he slid down and set next to her on the floor.
Kathryn was quite for a while trying to collect her thoughts, I should have brought a cheat-sheet she thought.
“Do you remember all those years ago when we discussed crew fraternisation?” she asked
“Vaguely” he answered
“I said that people would eventually pair off and you asked if that included me.”
“This part I remember, Chakotay said, you said that that was a luxury you didn’t have.
“Right, that stills applies Chakotay. I’m the captain. It was difficult for me to throw away years of training and start spending off duty hours with the rest of you, starting a relationship would be even more difficult.
“Every relationship is difficult Kathryn” Chakotay said softly looking down at his hands.
“I know Chakotay but, you’ve been a captain yourself. You know what its like. You even had a relationship with Seska but broke it of.”
Chakotay cringed at the mention of Seska, he tried not to think of her and what she had done. He got up and walked to the window.
“I’m sorry Chakotay”, Kathryn said looking at him sadly “I don´t like thinking about her either.”
“So what are you saying Kathryn?” Chakotay asked suddenly
What AM I saying Kathryn thought frantically,
Before she could answer Chakotay spoke again
“If you want to know if I understand I can tell you that I think I do, I don´t like it but it makes sense. Who knows, I might have reacted in the same way if I were captain.”
“Thank you…I think”
they both smiled
“Can I ask you something” Chakotay said
“Ofcourse”
“If we got back to the Alpha Quadrant, would your view change?”
“Chakotay..it may take us decades to get back…
“Just humour me will you”
“Alright…. The way I feel right now, yes.
“Yes??..”
“Yes my view would change. If you were no longer my subordinate I would at least be willing to explore the idea of a relationship. Is that a good enough answer?”
“Yes, thank you Kathryn.”
“Are we okay?” she asked
Chakotay nodded suddenly feeling very tired.
“Well I´ll let you get back to your book then, I´ll see you tomorrow.”
Kathryn got up and headed for the doors but turned around and looked at him
“Chakotay….thank you for understanding, I wish things were different.”
“So do I Kathryn, so do I.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*
And so the command team had come to an agreement, they both went to bed that night feeling a little relieved, years of wondering and uncertainty had come to and end but instead there was a feeling of deep sadness in both of them. Knowledge of the others love burned in their minds and their dreams were filled of the things that they knew that both wanted but couldn´t have.
Continued in A Prixin for the History books
The Kathryn and Chakotay Universe
