Authors note: This is the continuation of the story Kissing. I have previously written and posted another continuation of the story but saw in retrospect that I was not at all pleased with the story and decided to give it another try. If you would like to read the first continuation called The Second Gift it his located here.
Disclaimer: I’m not so pleased with Paramount or the makers of Star Trek at the moment so I’m saying that this is MINE, MINE AND ONLY MINE!
So that was it, they had come to a resolution. They knew how the other felt but had decided to not do anything about it. She thought he had taken it quite well, no lengthy arguments about protocol or pleading with her to give it a try, but perhaps it was vain of her to think that he would.
She still had dreams occasionally, dreams of him, the way her body tingled as they kissed, they way his hands felt caressing her body. But she was sure that would all end in time.
He looked well, she thought, the teasing and flirting had taken a more mellow tone but it was still there and now there was an underlying tone of love that hadn’t been there before. She was probably the only one who noticed but now that he knew that she knew how he felt and vice versa they both become more comfortable with it. She just hoped the crew didn’t notice.
As for Seven’s “experiment” she had no idea if the former drone had continued with her practices on the holodeck, or what her intentions were. In her darkest hours she wondered if maybe Seven did have feelings for Chakotay, she certainly didn’t show it but with Seven you could never be sure. She was like a Vulcan in that way, never or rarely showing emotions. Also in her darkest hours she wondered about Chakotay, she was sure he loved her, he had said so. He had also said that he understood why she couldn’t get involved with him but what if he changed his mind. What if he decided that he didn’t want to wait around for her. What if when she had told him about Seven kissing a hologram in him she had sparked an idea in his mind. Sure he had laughed at it and said that he had no desire to kiss Seven but what if…
Come on Kathryn don’t go thinking like that! She told herself. Concentrate on the report you’re reading! Hmm Neelix is planning a Prixin celebration, that’s good for the crew, those parties are always a success and it’s nice to spend time with them off duty in a relaxed atmosphere. Maybe I´ll ask Chakotay to join me for dinner before the party begins.
Kathryn smiled to herself, those dinners with Chakotay were always so nice. Ever since New Earth it had become customary for them to have dinner together on Wednesday evenings, lately however it had gotten to be more than Wednesdays, sometimes they had a quick meal several days in a row. She hoped that wouldn’t change.
She cast a glance at the chronometer hanging on the wall, it was late already, she had been cooped up in her ready room reading reports for the annual personnel evaluation. Getting up she decided that enough was enough and headed to her quarters.
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After a few days the Prixin festivities were in full swing and Kathryn had planned an extra sumptuous dinner for herself and Chakotay for the last night of Prixin. They would do what they always did, go to the messhall and join the crew in the celebrations and then go back to her quarters for a late dinner. One small detail was that she hadn’t asked him yet, but she was sure he hadn’t made any other plans, they always did this together.
Stepping into the messhall she saw that Chakotay was already there, he was standing by the counter talking to Neelix about something and she headed towards them.
“Good evening gentleman”
“Hello captain, please have some snacks” Neelix said pushing several of the plates on the counter towards her. None of them looked the slightest bit tasty to Kathryn.
“Umm no thank you Neelix, I might take one later on though”
“Oh, well alright captain” Neelix said picking up the plates and walking in search of somebody who would eat his snacks.
“Nice save Kathryn” Chakotay said with a smile
She laughed, “I just hope he doesn’t come back and ask me again”
The two of them talked for a while and then took off in different directions to make small talk with the crew. The evening is going very well Kathryn thought as she stood by the buffet of tastier looking food taking another drink. I probably shouldn’t she thought to herself, but what the heck she smiled devishly and took the glass of wine.
“Captain, I am in need of your assistance” Seven of Nine was standing next to her looking at her sombrely. They hadn’t talked about anything but business since the “holodeck incident” as Kathryn now remembered it.
“What can I do for you Seven?”
“I would like your advice on how to pursue a romantic affiliation with commander Chakotay”
Kathryn mind went blank and she took a step back as if she had been burned and bumped right into the doctor.
“Doctor! I’m sorry”
“That’s quite alright captain” the doctor replied and looked down pretending to be very interested in his drink.
Turning slowly towards Seven again Kathryn sighed as she cast a glance at the Borg.
She looks like she’s asking me what I think of the weather! Okay Kathryn think, stay calm, nothing to be upset about.
Like hell it isn’t! She screamed to herself in her head.
“Captain”
Sevens voice brought her out of her battle with herself.
“Will you assist me?”
“I don’t think so Seven” she said and turned around to leave
“Why not?” Seven’s voice stopped her
Why not? Because I’m in love with him. Because he belongs to me. Because you could never understand him like I do, he could never be happy with you!
Holding a tight reign on her temper she answered coolly
“I think it would be best if you talked to Chakotay yourself.” If you go near him I´ll kill you!
“Have you not been in a romantic relationship with a man?”
Why won’t she let this go
!
“Yes”
“Then you must have some advice to give. The commander is your first officer and friend, you know him well. You must have something to say”
“I don’t” Kathryn said through clenched teeth and moved away again. Seven caught up with her and turned her around. They were standing in the middle of the room and without them realising it, they had become the centre of attention. Every single pair of eyes in the room were fixed on the two of them.
“The commander is not involved with anyone in the crew. It seems highly illogical that you won’t help me”
Seven said an wrinkled her brows in confusion.
After a few seconds Seven raised her head slightly and looked coolly at the captain.
“Is your reason personal. Do you not wish for anyone to pursue the commander, anyone but yourself.”
The room was completely silent.
Nobody dared breathe
“Do you love the commander captain?”
There was a collective take in of breaths. Nobody could believe Seven had actually asked that question.
The captain stood stricken, what was she supposed to say, here in the messhall in front of everybody. She looked around frantically, her eyes past over Chakotays, there was doubt and worry in his eyes.
She felt like a caged animal and could only think of one thing, escape. So without saying a word she ran towards the door and they closed after her on a still silent messhall.
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Oh shit! How am I going to face everybody tomorrow? How am I going to face Chakotay? Maybe I should jump ship…shut up Kathryn, you’ll survive, you’ll think of something. Oh God, I wish I could make everyone forget what just happened. I've never been so humiliated.
I guess my fears about Seven were right, she does have feelings for Chakotay, if you could call it that… I wonder what Chakotay thinks of all this. He probably wants to forget about it too. Was that doubt and worry I saw in his eyes, I wonder what it was he doubted, maybe he’s having second thoughts about wanting to wait for me… I´d never live through it knowing he and Seven…Now Kathryn don’t think like that!
These were the thoughts of Captain Kathryn Janeway. She was sitting on the floor leaning against the wall of holodeck 2. She wondered if maybe Chakotay was looking for her, well, he wouldn’t find her. She had ripped off her combadge as she ran from the messhall. If he asked for her location she computer would say she was in the corridor right outside the messhall.
Then the door slid open and Kathryn swore.
“How did you find me?”
“I searched every room on this deck.”
“What if I had taken the turbolift to another deck?”
“I would have searched them as well”
They were silent for a long time. Sitting on the floor of the holodeck deep in thought, neither knowing what to say.
“How do you feel?” He asked eventually
“Like I never want to show myself to the crew again. You should know that I seriously considered taking an escape pod and never returning.”
“I’m glad you reconsidered. There are a lot of people who would have missed you. Especially me.
“Well this certainly is a Prixin for the history books. What happened in the messhall after I left?”
“There was a long uncomfortable silence and then everybody starting talking at once. Except Seven.”
At the mention of Seven Kathryn felt she again wanted to submerge into nothingness.
“About what Seven said…” Chakotay began
“She was right” Kathryn whispered “
“About what?”
“Everything.”
She buried her face in her hands “I’ve been so selfish Chakotay. I haven’t wanted to take that step with you, to become romantically involved, but I can’t stand the thought of anyone else take it with you either. I’m sorry.”
“You shouldn’t feel sorry Kathryn. I’m the one who is sorry, I should have intervened in the messhall, I didn’t see where it was going until it was too late. You say that you don’t want anyone else take that step with me, well neither do I. I’m not interested in anyone else but you, you know that. “
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and then she flung herself at him, hugging him for dear life sobbing his name.
After several minutes they separated both with tears in their eyes
“What are we going to do, the entire crew has figured out that I love you, there’s no use denying it”
“So don’t” Chakotay answered and kissed her.
Kathryn tensed momentarily but Chakotays lips were still on her, softly caressing her. His tongue lightly scraping at her lips. She moaned and put her arms around him deepening the kiss and pressing herself closer to his body.
After an eternity they separated both their faces flushed and lips moised. They looked hesitantly at each other trying to gauge the others reaction, then they both smiled. Chakotay turned let go suddenly and fished out something from his pocket,
“Here’s your combadge by the way, I found it outside the messhall”
“Oh…I wonder how it got there” Kathryn said coolly putting it on.
“It’s a mystery.”
“Certainly is.”
They sat back against the wall, hands clasped staring in front of them. Then the doors opened.
Kathryn felt a stir of, something but Chakotays hand on her shoulder made it go away. She took a deep breath and walked forward.
“Seven, I want to apologise for running out on you in the middle of our…discussion. And in answer to your question, yes, I do love commander Chakotay. And no, I can not give you advice on how to pursue him because he is already taken, by me.”
With this Kathryn reached for Chakotays hand and they left the holodeck together.
Seven followed shortly after, the same look of indifference on her face to resumed her duties.
THE END
