Sunny's Advice Page

Also feel free to discuss problems on my message board....that's what it's there for! (well, sorta)

Q. My boyfriend seems to have an ass fetish. He's constantly pressuring me to have anal sex with him, but I'm scared to because I heard it really hurts. Any advice?

A. Never do anything you don't want to do. It's YOUR body and if you don't want a certain place penetrated, it's your business, not his. If he knows you don't want to do it, yet still pressures you, then maybe you should have a long talk with him about it. It's not fair for him to ask you to do something he knows you don't want to do. As for anal sex, a LOT of care has to be taken if you're going to go down that road. (Um, pun not intended.) Read up on it first, extensively, because if not done properly you could reall hurt yourself not to mention the pain factor. Being relaxed and lots of lubrication are key. A great book, that I can't endorse enough is, The Guide To Getting It On by Goofy Foot Press. It has everything about sex you'll ever need to know in it. You should pick up a copy :-)

Q. My periods are truly painful, enough to make me need codeine and I miss a lot of school. My doctor says that sometimes painful periods just happen, what do you think?

A. Okay, yes, sometimes women just have painful periods. Every person has a different pain threshold, however, I think that you should go see your OB-GYN and ask him or her about a disease called endometriosis. They can explain better than me what it is exactly. What happens is, y'know how when you have your period and the uterus sheds that lining stuff? Well, endo is tiny peices of that lining stuff (called the endometrium, hence the name) that somehow implant themselves on the OUTSIDE of the uterus and various other places in the abdomen. The pain you're experiencing could be these impants, and like the lining of the uterus, every month when you get your period, they swell and "shed" but the blood has nowhere to go which causes inflammation in the abdominal area. I've been diagnosed with this disease for five years and have had two surgeries (called laparoscopies, although there are several different kinds of surgeries for this disease). There is no cure for this disease but there are ways to control the pain etc. Talk to your doctor and maybe he/she/it can direct you to a specialist. For more information on endometriosis, you can contact the Endometriosis Association at:

PO Box 92187

Milwaukee, WI

53202

Q. My mom's a bitch. Should I kill her?

A. No. Dunno how old you are but as much as you're going to think I'm full of shit, mom's get better as you get older for some reason. Just wait it out. :-)

Q. There's this girl at school who wants to beat me up because she says I tried to steal her boyfriend. What actually happened was I met him at McDonald's and asked him out, but I didn't know he had a girlfriend, and when he told me that he did, I backed off. This girl's been threatening me every day that she's going to beat me up and I'm scared of her. By the way, I'm 16.

A. Well, you could confront her & tell her the truth, but it seems to me that peope like her aren't interested in the truth anyways and it could aggravate the situation further. (However, if her boyfriend's a nice guy, you could confront her when he's *with* her and when she explains why she's picking on you he can correct her as to what really happened. Then let THEM deal with it.) But, what I would do (well, I'd kick her ass...) but, what I think *you* should do is avoid her as much as possible, and wait until she finds someone else to pick on, because bullies generally do. I mean, think about it, is this whole thing really going to matter in 5 years? Is it really going to affect your life? Nope. Probably not.

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Say you're in a commited, monogamous relationship and you had no doubts that your partner was not cheating on you...