C. BOSTIAN        LEANING THE SKILLS OF CONFLICT       5/14/06

RESOLUTION:

 

1 Cor. 11:26-32 (KJV) 

    For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink this cup, ye do shew the Lord's death till he come. [27] Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. [28] But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup. [29] For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord's body. [30] For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep. [31] For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged. [32] But when we are judged, we are chastened of the Lord, that we should not be condemned with the world.

 

COMMUNION IS A WONDERFUL TIME FOR US TO REMEMBER WHAT CHRIST HAS DONE FOR US AT CALVARY.  HIS BROKEN BODY AND HIS SHED BLOOD HAS FOEVER PURCHASED OUR REDEMPTION AND SALVATION.  IN PREPARING FOR COMMUNION IT IS NECESSARY TO EXAMINE OURSELVES.  WE DO THAT BY INVITING THE HOLY SPIRIT TO SEARCH OUR HEARTS AND CONVICT US OF SIN SO THAT WE CAN REPENT, CONFESS AND FORSAKE OUT SIN AND OBTAIN GOD’S FORGIVENESS AND PARDON.  PART OF THAT EXAMINATION REQUIRES US TO MAINATIN RIGHT RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER PEOPLE IN OUR LIFE.  THAT WOULD BE FAMILY MEMBERS, RELATIVES, CLOSE AND DISTANT; THAT WOULD INVOLVE PEOPLE WE WORK WITH, PEOPLE WE SOCIALIZE WITH AND PEOPLE WE GO TO CHURCH WITH.  WHEN WE EXAMINE OUR LIVES WE NEED TO NDERSTAND THAT WE CANNOT BE RIGHT WITH GOD AND WRONG WITH OTHERS.  WE MUST LEARN HOW TO GET ALONG WITH EVERYBODY.  PAUL PUT IT THIS WAY:

 

Romans 12:18 (MsgB)

If you've got it in you, get along with everybody.

 

Romans 12:18 (KJV)

If it be possible, as much as lies in you, live peaceably with all men.

 

WE HAVE GOT TO MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO GET ALONG WITH EVERYBODY.  SOMEONE ONCE SAID: SHOW ME YOUR FRIENDS AND I WILL SHOW YOU YOUR FUTURE.  PEOPLE, NOT MONEY, ARE YOUR GREATEST ASSEST IN PURSUIT OF GOD’S PLAN OF SUCCESS FOR YOUR LIFE.  THAT’S WHY WE NEED TO LEARN NEW PEOPLE SKILLS BECAUSE YOU CANNOT REACH YOUR DESTINY IN CHRIST WITHOUT BEING JOINED TO OTHER PEOPLE IN THE BODY OF CHRIST.

 

IN 1COR.11:29 PAUL TELLS US TO DISCERN THE LORD’S BODY.  THAT HAS TWO MAJOR IMPLICATIONS.  1. WE MUST LOOK BACK AT CALVARY AND SEE WHAT WAS ACCOMPLISHED BY THE PHYSICAL DEATH OF JESUS.  AND 2. WE MUST HAVE A REVELATION OF THE MANY MEMBERED BODY OF CHRIST TODAY.  THAT MANY MEMBERED BODY OF CHRIST CONSITS OF PEOPLE THAT GOD WANTS YOU TO LEARN TO GET ALONG WITH.  IT IS ALSO THE ENEMY’S OBJECTIVE TO DESTROY THOSE RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH CONFLICT AND MISUNDERSTANDING.  JESUS SAID THAT ANY KINGDOM DIVIDED AGAINST ITSELF CANNOT STAND.  THAT’S WHY SATAN WORKS OVERTIME ON CHRISTIANS TO BRING MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND LACK OF COMMUNICATION THAT RESULTS IN PAINFUL SEPARATIONS AND DIVISIONS.

 

Proverbs 15:18 (KJV)

A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.

 

Proverbs 16:28 (KJV)

A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.

 

Proverbs 26:20-21 (KJV)

Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth. [21] As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife.

 

Proverbs 29:22 (MsgB)

Angry people stir up a lot of discord; the intemperate stir up trouble.

 

Proverbs 20:3 (MsgB) 

        It's a mark of good character to avert quarrels, but fools love to pick fights.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT CONFLICT RESOLUTION IS THE THREE N’S: CONFLICT IS NORMAL, NATURAL AND NEUTRAL.

 

Acts 15:37-40 (KJV)

And Barnabas determined to take with them John, whose surname was Mark. [38] But Paul thought not good to take him with them, who departed from them from Pamphylia, and went not with them to the work. [39] And the contention was so sharp between them, that they departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus; [40] And Paul chose Silas, and departed, being recommended by the brethren unto the grace of God.

 

WE’RE NOT DONE TALKING ABOUT BECOMING A PERSON OF ENCOURAGEMENT LKE BARNABAS BUT WE CAN SEE IN THIS PASSAGE THAT PAUL AND BARNABAS WE’RE IN SHAR DISAGREEMENT ABOUT JOHN MARK.  THE BIBLE SAYS THAT THE CONTENTION WAS SO SHARP BETWEEN THEM THAT THEY SEPARATED.  SOMETIME ITS NECESSARY TO SEPARATE AND SOMETIMES GOD CAN USE THE CONFLICT TO BRING ABOUT HIS ETERNAL PURPOSE.  THIS WAS A GOOD SEPARATION BECAUSE BARNABAS MADE A MAN OUT OF JOHN MARK WHO LATER JOINED PAUL IN HIS WORK.  THAT WHY WE NEED TO VIEW CONFLICT AS NORMAL, NATURAL AND NEUTRAL.

 

IT’S NORMAL BECAUSE NO TWO PEOPLE ARE ALIKE.  WE THINK DIFFERENTLY, WE PERCEIVCE THINGS DIFFERENTLY.  WE HAVE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MAKEUP, CHEMISTRY AND DNA.  OUR PERSONALITIES ARE DIFFERENT, OUR CULTURAL UPBRINGINGS ARE DIFFERENT AND WITH SO MANY DIFFERENCES IT IS NORMAL FOR THEIR TO BE CONFLICT.

 

CONFLICT IS ALSO NATURAL.  IT’S THE NATURAL CONSEQUENCE OF TWO OR MORE PEOPLE BEING TOGETHER.  BASED ON YOUR UNIQUE DIFFERENCES IN DESIRES, APPETITES, CHOICES AND DECISIONS ITS ONLY NATURAL THAT YOU WILL EXPERIENCE CONFLICT.

 

CONFLICT IS ALSO NEUTRAL.  THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT POINT WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT CONFLICT.  CONFLICT IS NEITHER GOOD NOR BAD, IT IS THE CHARACTER OF THE PEOPLE IN CLONFLICT THAT DETERMINE ITS MORALITY.  SO IF WE CAN SEE THAT CONFLICT IS NORMAL AND NATURAL AND THAT NOBODY IS REALLY TO BLAME THEN WE CAN SEEK FOR A POSITIVE RESOLUTION THAT WILL BENEFIT EVERYBODY INVOLVED. 

 

1 Cor. 12:25 (KJV)

That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.

 

1 Cor. 12:25 (MsgB)

The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part dependent on every other part, the parts we mention and the parts we don't,

 

WHEN YOU’RE INVOLVED IN CONFLICT WITH OTHER PEOPLE YOU NEED TO GET OVER THE BLAME GAME AND EMBRACE A GENUINE CARE FOR THE PEOPLE YOU ARE IN CONFLICT WITH.  THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO DO IS TO PLACE A HIGH VALUE ON THE PEOPLE GOD HAS JOINED YOU TO.  THOSE PEOPLE CAN TAKE YOU TO THE NEXT LEVEL OF SUCCESS THAT GOD HAS PLANNED FOR YOUR LIFE.  YOU CAN’T GET THERE ALL BY YOURSELF.  YOU NEED OTHER PEOPLE AND WHEN WE PLACE A HIGH VALUE ON THOSE RELATIONSHIPS WE SECURE OUR FUTURE SUCCESS.  THE BOTTOM LINE IS WE NEED TO HAVE GENUINE CARE FOR EACH OTHER.

 

Philip. 2:20 (MsgB)

I have no one quite like Timothy. He is loyal, and genuinely concerned for you.

 

Luke 10:34 (KJV)

And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.

 

GOD WANTS US TO CARE FOR PEOPLE.  THERE ARE TIMES WE CARE DEEPLY ABOUT ISSUES BUT WE MUST NEVER LET THOSE THINGS THWART OUR EFFORTS IN SHOWING GENUINE CARE FOR OTHER PEOPLE. 

 

SO RATHER THAN CONFRONTING LET’S LEARN TO CARE-FRONT.  CAREFRONTING IS OFFERING GENUINE CARE THAT BIDS ANOTHER GROW UNITING BOTH POWER AND LOVE.  CRAE-FRONTING IS OFFERING REAL CONFRONTATION THAT CALLS FOE NEW INSIGHT WITH A MAXIMUM AMOUNT OF USEFUL INFORMATION AND WITH A MINIMAL AMOUNT OF THREAT.  CARE-FRONTING UNIFIES CONCERN FOR RELATIONSHIPS WITH CONCERN FOR GOALS SO THAT YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO STAND FOR AS WELL AS SOMEONE TO STAND WITH.  WHEN YOU ARE POSTURING YOURSELF FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION YOU NEED TO SEND AN “I FEEL”ESSAGE INSTEAD OF AN “I BLAM YOU” MESSAGE.

 

HERE ARE SOME “I FEEL MESSAGES:”

 

1. I FEEL LIKE I’M BEING IGNORED.
2. I’M FEELING PUT DOWN.
3. I’M FEELING DISAPPOINTED THAT I CAN’T GO.
4. I FEEL LIKE I’M BEING INTERROGATED.

 

HERE ARE SOME OF THE SAME COMMENTS SENDING AN “I BLAME YOU” MESSAGE:

 

1. YOU MAKE ME MAD BECAUSE YOU PAY NO ATTENTION TO ME.
2. YOU ARE MAKING ME ANGRY BY DELIBERATELY LEAVING ME BEHIND.
3. YOU ALWAYS BLAME ME FOR EVERTHING THAT GOES WRONG

 

BLAMING MESSAGES USUALLY BEGIN WITH THE WORD “YOU” AND USUALLY INCLUDES AN ACCUSATION THAT EXPRESSES JUDGEMENT, CRITICISM, AN ATTACK OR A SENSE OF FINALITY, GIVING NO ROOM FOR THE OTHER PERSON TO SHARE.  THIS SHOULD BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN GENUINE LOVE AND CARE FOR PEOPLE WE ARE IN CONFLICT WITH.

 

NOW SOMETIMES CONFLICT IS CAUSED BY PERSONAL FAILURE AND SIN.  JESUS HAS GIVEN US SOME GUILDELINES FOR DEALING WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE SINNED AGAINST US.  THAT IS FOUND IN MATT.18:

 

Matthew 18:15 (KJV)

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

 

Matthew 18:15-17 (MsgB)

"If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you've made a friend. [16] If he won't listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. [17] If he still won't listen, tell the church. If he won't listen to the church, you'll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God's forgiving love.

 

JESUS HAS CAREFULLY INSTRUCTED THE CHURCH CONCERNING THE METHOD OF CONFRONTATION WHEN SIN IS PRESENT IN THE CHURCH.  THE METHOD ENTAILS THE COMMUNICATION OF LOVE IN CONSTRUCTIVE CONFRONTATION.  THE ONLY ALTERNATIVE TO CONSTRUCTIVE, BIBLICAL CONFRONTATION IS GOSSIP, SLANDER, THE SPREADING OF MALICIOUS RUMORS, HATE, BITTERNESS, UNFORGIVENESS AND DEFAMTION OF CHARACTER.

 

FIRST LET US LOOK AT THE BIBLICAL PROCEDURE THAT JESUS GAVE AS A DIVINE MANDATE TO HIS DISCIPLES AND SUBSEQUENTLY TO US. IF YOUR BROTHER SINS AGAINST YOU, YOU ARE INSTRUCTED TO GO TO HIM AND CONFRONT HIM ALONE.  IF HE REFUSES TO RECEIVE CORRECTION TAKE TWO OR THREE PEOPLE WITH YOU THE NEXT TIME YOU VISIT.  (I WOULD SUGGEST THAT THOSE TWO OR THREE WOULD INCLUDE LEADERS IN A LOCAL CHURCH BODY. IF HE FAIL TO HEAR THEM, THEN LET HIM BRING THE WHOLE MATTER BEFORE THE CHURCH UNDER THE  SUPERVISION OF ITS LEADERS.

 

NOW, THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF CONSTRUCTIVE CONFRONT-ATION IS  PROPER  MOTIVATION.  MOST CHRISTIANS NOW DAYS ARE VERY EASILY OFFENDED AND HAVE A TENDENCY TO DEFEND THEMSELVES BEFORE AND TO ONE ANOTHER.* THE WOLE PURPOSE AND MOTIVATION OF BIBLICAL, CONSTRUCTIVE CONFRONTATION IS TO RESTORE UNITY BETWEEN THE JOINTS AND BANDS OF THE INDIVIDUAL MEMBERS THROUGH WHICH GOD'S  INCREASE CAN FLOW TOWARDS ONE ANOTHER IN THE MAINTAINANCE OF A HELATHY  CHURCH THAT IS REACHING OUT IN A REDEMPTIVE WAY TO THOSE THAT ARE LOST AND WITHOUT CHRIST.  WE MUST NEVER CONFRONT A BROTHER OR SISTER WHO HAS SINNED AGAINST US OUT OF REVENGE, BITTERNESS, ANGER, VINDICTIVENESS, PRIDE, SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS OR ANGER.  OUR PURPOSE AND MOTIVATION IS THE EAGER DESIRE TO SEE THE SINNING PERSON RESTORED TO FELLOWSHIP WITH CHRIST AND THE REST OF THE BODY. PEOPLE ARE CENTRAL TO THE PURPOSES AND WORK OF GOD.  HE IS NOT WILLING THAT ANY PERISH AND FALL SHORT OF DIVINE PURPOSE AND DESTINY.  GOD NEEDS PEOPLE TO BUILD AND ESTABLISH HIS KINGDOM AND IF WE FOLLOW PROPER BIBLICAL PROCEDURE AND MOTIVATION IN CONSTRUCTIVE CONFRONTATION THEN HIS PURPOSES CAN COME TO PASS IN THE EARTH AND WE CAN GO TO THE NEXT LEVEL OF SUCCESS.

 

* *  LET’S LOOK AT SOME SCRIPTURAL GUIDELINES FOR CONSTRUCTIVE CONFRONTATION: * *

 

Galatians 6:1 (KJV)

Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

 

Galatians 6:1 (MsgB)

Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day's out.

 

THE #1 OBJECTIVE OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION IS TO BRING RESTORATION TO THE PERSON WHO IS SINNING.  THAT PERSON IS NOT ONLY HURTING YOU BUT DAMAGING THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST.  THEY NEED TO BE RESTORED TO GOD FIRST AND THEN TO YOU.  THAT NEEDS TO BE THE #1 OBJECTIVE IN CARE-FRONTING.  YOU CARE ABOUT THE PERSON AND NOT JUST ABOUT YOU AND WHAT YOU’RE GOING THROUGH. 

 

THE SECOND THING WE LEARN IN GAL.6:1 IS THAT IT IS THE SPIRITUAL MAN THAT PREPARES FOR CONFRONTATION THROUGH A 

A PROCESS OF SELF-EXAMINATION.  PAUL TELLS US THAT ONLY THE SPIRITUAL MAN IS CAPABLE OF RESTORING A MAN OVERTAKEN IN A FAULT.  WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE SPIRITUAL?  THE WORD IN THE GREEK MEANS NON-CARNAL. SOMEONE THAT HAS THE CHARACTER-ISTICS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT DEVELOPED IN THEIR LIVES: THEY’RE WALING IN LOVE, JOY, PEACE, GENTLENESS, MEEKNESS, FAITH-FULNESS, LONGSUFFERING AND SELF-CONTROL.  THE KEY CHARACTERISTICS OF GODLY CONFRONTATION ARE HUMILITY AND

GENTLENESS.  NEVER BE AGRESSIVE, HASTY OR ACCUSATIVE WHEN CONFRONTING. NEVER SEND AN “I BLAME YOU” MESSAGE. 

 

Matthew 7:3-5 (KJV)

And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? [4] Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? [5] Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

 

IN THIS PROCESS OF SELF-EXAMINATION YOU WILL NEED TO SEARCH OUT WHY  YOU FEEL CALLED TO CONFRONT SOMEONE ELSE.  YOU SHOULD TEST YOUR LIFE,  YOUR OBEDIENCE, AND YOUR MOTIVES AGAINST SCRIPTURES AND THEN ASK YOURSELF  "AM I A CONCERNED CHRISTIAN, COMMITTED TO SERVING OTHERS, LOVINGLY  INVOLVED IN OTHERS' LIVES, OR AM I AN AGRESSIVE, MEDDLING, SELF-APPOINTED  BUSYBODY, ACCUSING OTHERS OF VARIOUS WRONGS WHILE IGNORING SIN AND PRIDE IN MY OWN LIFE?"  HE THAT IS SPIRITUAL WILL CAREFULLY EXAMINE HIMSELF,

AND DISCERN THE DIFFERENCE.

 

1.     ALWAYS USE THE SANDWICH PRINCIPLE WHEN CONFRONTING OTHERS.  FIND SOMETHING NOTEWORTHY IN THE PERSONS LIFE AND LET THEM KNOW YOU APPRECIATE IT.  LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU VALUE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM AND THAT YOU CARE ABOUT THEM.  THEN SHARE AN “I FEEL” MESSAGE THAT YOU SENSE IS THE SOURCE OF THE CONFLICT.  LET THE OTHER PERSON VOICE THEIR OPINION OR EXPLANATION.  AFTER YOU HAVE TALKED IT THROUGH MAKE SURE THAT YOU AFFIRM THE PERSON IN LOVE BEFORE YOU WALK AWAY.

2.     ALWAYS GIVE THE SINNING PARTY THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. PERHAPS THEIR SIN AGAINST YOU WAS NOT INTENTIONAL; OR MAYBE IT WAS JUST A PREFABRIC-

         ATION OF DEMONIC SUSPICION; OR MAYBE IT WAS AN    

         OVERSIGHT OR MISTAKE THAT PROCEDED FROM

         NEGLIGIENCE.

 

3.     ALWAYS MAINTAIN AN ATTITUDE OF HUMILITY, LOWINESS OF

     MIND AND MEEKNESS CONSIDER THE OTHER PERSON TO BE   

     BETTER THAN YOURSELF.  ALMOST ALL GOSSIP IS THE

     RESULT OF AN ATTITUDE OF SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS AND

     PRIDE.

 

4.     ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE.  THE TRUTH IS HARD          ENOUGH TO ACCEPT EVEN WHEN IT IS SPOKEN IN LOVE MUCH

         LESS IN ANGER, HATE, JEALOUSY OR REVENGE.  WE CAN            

         LITERALLY BEAT ONE ANOTHER UP WITH THE TRUTH.  REM-         

         EMBER THAT PAUL TOLD US THE LETTER OF THE WORD KILLS  

         BUT THE SPIRIT OF THE WORD GIVES LIFE.

 

5.     ALWAYS BE SYMPATHETIC TOWARDS THE PERSON WITH

     WHOM YOU ARE TO CONFRONT ITS NOT EASY NOR  

     ENJOYABLE TO RECEIVE CONVICTION, CORRECTION OR 

     INSTRUCTION.  IN FACT CONVICTING CONFRONTATION     

    OFTEN TIMES IS VERY PAINFUL IT IS ONLY THE PERSON WHO

    HAS EXPERIENCED THAT PAIN THAT CAN BE EFFECTIVELY  

    SYMPATHETIC TOWARDS OTHERS AT THE TIME OF

    CONFRONTATION.

 

6.     THE PERSON WHO INSTIGATES THE CONFRONTATION SHOULD   

     ALWAYS OFFER PRAYER OR MINISTRY TO THE OTHER PERSON. 

     YOUR PURPOSE IS TO BUILD THEM UP AND RESTORE

     PRODUCTIVE FELLOWSHIP WITHIN THE BODY OF CHRIST.

 

7.     THE BIBLE TELLS US THAT WE SHOULD NEVER REBUKE AN  

     ELDER BUT THAT WE SHOULD ENTREAT HIM AS A FATHER,

     AND NEVER ALONE BUT IN THE PRESENCE OF TWO OR THREE

     WITNESSES.

 

1 Tim 5:1

Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren;

 

8.     CONFRONTATION SHOULD ALWAYS BE PERSONAL WHENEVER  

     POSSIBLE.  A LETTER CAN BE WRITTEN WHEN IT IS NOT

     POSSIBLE TO VISIT THE PERSON.  BUT THE RULE OF  THUMB  

     IS THAT YOU SHOULD CONFRONT IN PERSON.  IF YOU  

     WRITE A LETTER YOU MUST, I REPEAT, MUST SIGN YOUR

     NAME TO IT.  IF YOU RECEIVE SUCH A LETTER AND IT IS NOT

     SIGNED, DO NOT READ IT AND DO NOT ACCEPT IT AS

     SOMETHING FROM GOD.

 

HOW SHOULD YOU RECEIVE CONFRONTATION:

 

Proverbs 15:31-33 (KJV)

The ear that heareth the reproof of life abideth among the wise. [32] He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding. [33] The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom; and before honour is humility.

 

1. YOU NEED TO BE TEACHABLE AND CORRECTABLE.

2. YOU NEED TO BE HUMBLE AND NOT THINK YOU ARE RIGHT ALL 

    THE TIME.

3. YOU NEED A DESIRE TO GROWN AND REALIZE THAT

    CONFRONTATION IS PART OF THE GROWTH  PROCESS

4. WE MUST NEVER BE DEFENSIVE OF OUR ACTIONS: GOD WILL  

    DEFEND WHAT IS RIGHT.

5. THERE ARE TIMES WHEN WE ARE CONFRONTED FOR A FAULT  

    THAT WE ARE NOT GUILTY OF.  MANY TIMES THIS IS A RESULT  

    OF A SUSPICION OF GUILT BASED ON PARTIAL FACTS.  PEOPLE  

    MISCONSTRUE OUR ACTIONS BECAUSE OF A PERSONLITY TRAIT  

    THAT THEY OBJECT TO.  EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY NOT BE GUILTY

    YOU MAY NEED TO CHANGE YOUR PERSONALITY AND DEPORT- 

    MENT SO THAT THE RELTIONSHIP CAN GROW AND BE MUTUALLY 

    BENEFITTING.

6. BE WILLING TO ACKNOWLEDGE AND CONFESS YOUR SINS TO

    EACH OTHER.

 

James 5:16 (KJV)

Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

 

CONFESSION BRINGS US FREEDOM FROM GUILT, MAKES US SPIRITUALLY AND EMOTIONALLY WHOLE, AND RESTORES OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER. CONFESSION BRINGS HEALTH TO OUR RELATIONSHIPS WHICH ENABLES US TO GO TO THAT NEXT LEVEL OF SUCCESS THAT GOD HAS PLANNED FOR OUR LIVES.  JUST REMEMBER THAT THE NEXT TIME YOU NEED A LITTLE HELP FROM SOMEONE IT COULD BE FROM THE PERSON YOU ARE NOW IN CONFLICT WITH.  SHOW ME YOUR FRIENDS AND I WILL SHOU YOU YOUR FUTURE.  LET’S LEARN THE SKILL OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION BY CARE-FRONTING WHEN CONFLICT COMES SO THAT WE CAN BE HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL GOD’S WAY.