Carrie’s heart skipped a beat when she heard the knock on her door. She hesitated, almost afraid to find out who it was. But she pulled herself off the sofa and hurried to the door, stopping short of reaching for the handle. She let herself take a deep breath, then opened the door. She froze as a mix of emotions coursed through her. This was not what she expected - not what she wanted. She wanted Austin. She had prayed for Austin. Somewhat stunned, she just stared for a moment before regaining her senses.

"What are you doing here, Mike?"

Mike held his breath for a second at the sight of Carrie. He couldn’t believe she was actually standing in front of him. He was thrilled he had found her, but he tried not to let it show.

"I was worried about you." Carrie wasn’t sure what to say, so Mike finally broke the awkward silence, trying his best to smile. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," Carrie finally nodded, as she stepped back out of the way for him to come in.

Mike studied Carrie’s face as he walked past her into the room, trying to determine how she was doing. Her eyes met his uncomfortably for a second before looking away as she turned to close the door. As Mike pulled off his gloves, Carrie walked up behind him, peeking around his shoulder with a puzzled look on her face.

"How did you know where to find me, Mike?"

He turned to look at her. Beneath her puzzled look, he could see she was tired, and she had been crying. He tried to remain composed as his heart broke for her.

"Well, it wasn’t hard." He smiled as he put his gloves in his coat pockets. "I’m pretty smart." Carrie let a small laugh escape, and it warmed him to see that smile again. "And I know you pretty good. I know this place means a lot to you."

Carrie’s smile was gone as quickly as it had come. She nodded. "Used to be Austin’s and my special place. I just needed to get away and work things out in my head. So I came here and I was hoping that Austin would try and contact me again. But there’s no way that he would know where I am, but I was hoping maybe he’d figure it out… and come to me."

There was another awkward silence. Mike slid his hands into his coat pockets, and Carrie rested her hands on the back of her hips as she finally looked up at Mike and smiled again.

"You must think that I’m crazy." She managed a nervous laugh.

"Gee, why would I think that?" he joked in response. They both laughed, relaxing a bit. "Listen, that guy’s risked capture to try to get to you twice now, and you’re just hoping he’s going to try a third time." He paused, giving her a chance to confirm or deny it, but she remained silent. "It’s obvious that you both want your marriage to work," he added with a quick nod.

"Well I know I did." Realizing what she had said, Carrie looked up at Mike and quickly corrected herself. "I- I DO." She felt her face flush.

Mike just stared at her. Was it true? Deep down inside, did she no longer believe in her marriage? He realized he was staring, and looked down.

"Yeah. Uh… I heard… that, um… Austin almost got caught by the cops last night. So you guys… did you get a chance to talk before they came?"

"Yeah. I begged him to… turn himself in and to come home to me. But he refused, and then the cops came and they asked him to surrender at gunpoint… he wouldn’t." She paused as the emotion in her voice became evident. "He risked his life to go back to Sami."

Mike could hardly stand it. The pain in her eyes cut right through him. He just wanted to hold her and never let her go, and make everything alright. It took all his strength to stay where he was, and he finally had to make himself look away from her eyes. He nodded as he glanced down again.

"I heard you came to the hospital afterwards."

"Yeah. My apartment was sealed off, and I… didn’t know where else to go."

"I mean why… why the hospital? ‘Cause if- if… I mean if y—" He wanted so much to help her, but he couldn’t even tell her. He stopped and took a deep breath, and smiled. "Do you want me to help you?" He laughed at himself as he finally managed to get the words out.

But Carrie remained serious. "I did, but… then I realized that I was wrong."

Her words tore him apart. This was the first time she hadn’t let herself turn to him with her problems with Austin. He had always been there for her, and the thought of her not wanting his help hurt him deeply. He needed to understand. "Why?" was all he could manage to say, a wounded look in his eyes.

"Because this isn’t about us, Mike. It’s about Austin and me."

The reality of those words struck Mike’s very core. It was true. As much as he loved Carrie, they were not together. And he had to stop thinking of them as being together. Carrie was right, this was about her and Austin, and their marriage. He nodded slightly acknowledging what she was saying, trying to force himself to accept it.

But Mike was determined to be there for Carrie, and he didn’t want to leave her alone. He decided to stay, and removed his jacket. As Carrie turned and walked a few steps away from him, Mike questioned her.

"Do you… really think there still is an Austin and you?"

"I guess up until this moment I thought that there was." Carrie sat down on the side of the bed. "I was just hoping that Austin would let me try and convince him to come back to me." She folded her arms in front of her, as if trying to protect herself from further pain. "But, he’s not here…" She turned toward Mike, unfolding her arms. "…as you can see." She looked down with rejection on her face, as she absentmindedly inspected her hands in front of her.

Mike needed to find some way to give her encouragement, as he always did. He walked toward her, putting his jacket over the footboard of the bed. He scrambled for the right words.

"Well… well… um…" As he sat down next to Carrie, his carefully placed coat slid to the floor. "He could still show up here. He could be stuck in the snow." He threw his hands out in the air for emphasis as he spoke. "He could be trying to get here right now. There could be a thousand reasons that he hasn’t…"

"There’s only one reason why he hasn’t tried to contact me here. And one reason why he won’t. Sami." Again Mike had to look away from the hurt in Carrie’s eyes. "He’s chosen her. And… I can’t go on kidding myself any longer. I mean, I prayed that he would walk through that door and admit that he was wrong to run off with Sami and tell me that he loved me and that he wanted to be with me. "

This time MIKE felt the pain. It hurt him so much to hear Carrie say she still wanted Austin, after everything that had happened. His breathing became harder. But he quickly forgot his own pain as he heard Carrie’s voice fill with sadness.

"But he’s not here. He’s with her." She paused, her eyes filling with tears. "I’m afraid that I lost him forever."

Their eyes locked, each knowing the pain the other was enduring, yet both knowing there was nothing they could do to help one another. Or so they told themselves.

Carrie had to release herself from Mike’s hold on her. She finally broke free from the longing look in his eyes, and stood up and walked away from the bed.

"Austin is NOT going to show up here. I don’t know WHAT I was thinking, that he’d somehow telepathically connect with me and know to come here." She gave a big sigh, and once again folded her arms in front of her.

Mike got up and walked up behind Carrie. He opened his mouth to speak, but then realized he wasn’t sure what to say. He wanted to ease her pain, but he was tired of offering her false hope about Austin. Instead, he remained silent.

"He’s given up on us. He’s thrown away our future for Sami and Will." Once again Carrie sighed, trying hard to make herself believe her own words. "And I have to accept that - I HAVE to."

Mike was so close to Carrie, and he wanted so much just to touch her. He longed to pull her into his arms and tell her to forget all about Austin. He wanted to take care of her, and love her forever. But he didn’t move. Instead, he spoke softly from behind her.

"Well it’s gonna be okay." He paused, trying to remain reassuring. "I’ll help you through this."

As Mike’s words gently reached Carrie, she realized she had to tell him why she hadn’t come to him for help this time. She hesitated, but she knew she had to explain why. She turned to face him, and he looked up at her as she spoke.

"The reason that I left the hospital… last night and drove to Marlena’s, was to distance myself from you."

These words caught Mike by surprise, and burned through his heart. He stared at her, his mouth open. Hearing this was more than he could bear, and he tore himself from her eyes and looked down at the floor. Carrie was determined to finish. He had to know the reason.

"I didn’t trust myself to be alone with you, and I was afraid that I would want you to comfort me."

Mike looked at Carrie again as he felt a twinge in his chest. Even though it hurt that she had stayed away from him, at least he knew it wasn’t because she didn’t want him there. Knowing that, he couldn’t help but smile slightly. But he spoke cautiously.

"Well I’ve… I’ve wanted you… to want me to comfort you ever since Austin took off with Sami." He hesitated, then continued in a quiet voice. "But I didn’t want to impose. I didn’t wanna be a problem."

Carrie was overcome by Mike’s selflessness. She shook her head, and her voice swelled with emotion as she looked into his eyes.

 "YOU were never a problem. AUSTIN is the one who deserted me, not you. You’ve always been there for me when I needed you, Mike." She tried to hold back her tears as her voice quivered. "I mean… you… you… even knew to come HERE." She flashed a smile filled with pain. "I want you to know how much that means to me… how much YOU mean to me."

Once again their eyes couldn’t let go of each other. Neither spoke for a moment as their emotions pulsated between them. Carrie struggled to finish what she wanted to say to Mike.

"When you first knocked on the door, I was hoping that it was Austin. But then I thought, how would Austin know that I was here? Yet YOU did. And… you always know what’s going on inside my heart, and you always are there when I need you, saying the right thing." Mike raised his eyebrows as he looked down, nodding slightly, agreeing with her words. "And it’s taken me a long time but… I finally realized that YOU’RE the man that I can count on."

Mike looked up at Carrie. "It’s because I’ll always be here for you… no matter what happens, no matter what happens." He gently reached up and touched her neck. "I will ALWAYS be here for you Carrie." He paused, his voice filling with emotion. "That’s ‘cause I’ll always love you." He lightly moved the back of his fingers against the side of her face. As he looked deeply into her eyes, his words were a mere whisper. "I just love you so much..."

Realizing he shouldn’t have spoken those words again, not now, not when Carrie was already so confused, he again broke from her gaze and looked down. But Carrie remained silent, and Mike cautiously looked up at her again.

Carrie ached inside as Mike’s words filled her heart. She felt herself being drawn toward him, by something she could no longer resist - something she no longer WANTED to resist. They were connected. She slowly let herself be pulled closer and closer, until his warm breath touched her skin.

Mike’s heart started to race as Carrie slowly moved toward him. As she came to him, he reached up and cradled her face with his hands. She raised her lips to his, and as they touched, Carrie’s mind flooded with relief. She realized this was what she had wanted all along. Mike’s breathing became heavy as he began to lose his senses and give in to what was happening. He could no longer resist. He no longer WANTED to resist, and he felt himself release into the kiss.

Suddenly they pulled apart, and looked into each other’s eyes. For a split second, thoughts of ‘should we’ flashed across their minds, but were gone in an instant. They kissed again, with more fervor this time, and explored each other’s mouths freely as they melted into their passion.

Mike wrapped one arm around Carrie’s waist, and the other around her shoulders, and pulled her closer as he kissed her harder. She took hold of the back of his neck with both hands, and returned the emotion. As she moved her hands across his temples and slid her fingers through his hair, Mike exploded inside and grasped Carrie tighter, his passion building to the breaking point. He eagerly kissed her neck, and she gripped his shoulders as she arched backward, giving him permission to go further.

As they found each other’s lips again, he suddenly swept her up in his arms. She wrapped her arms around him, nuzzling his neck as he carried her around the side of the bed. Neither one ever noticed bumping into the footboard on the way. 8-) He gently laid her on the bed, never letting go of her. With one arm still wrapped around her, he softly touched her face with his other hand, as she ran her fingers through his hair. The longing passing between them as they searched each other’s eyes was overwhelming. Leaning over Carrie, Mike slowly tasted her lips, as she caressed his back and shoulders. Was this the moment? The moment they had both dreamed about so many times before? Their kiss intensified as Carrie encircled Mike with her arms and pulled him closer.

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