Mike wanted Carrie so much it hurt, and he had vividly imagined this moment so many times. But in the midst of his fever, his mind struggled to make sense of what was about to happen. He hesitated as reason painfully forced its way through. And although his desire cried out for him to continue, he knew it wasn’t right - not like this. Not when he knew she was hurt and confused. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them.

Carrie kissed Mike’s cheek as he hesitated. She ran her fingers along the side of his face, and reached up to kiss him as he began to pull back. She didn’t know what was happening as he forced himself to roll off of her. Her senses returned as he lay next to her on the bed, and she sat up and looked up at him. She was totally confused.

"What’s wrong?"

Mike gripped the bridge of his nose as he struggled to clear his head and convince himself he was doing the right thing. He threw his hands in the air in frustration and sat up.

"We can’t do this."

Carrie sprang to her knees and moved next to him, trying desperately to understand. Her eyes pleaded with him.

"No, don’t look at me like that." He pointed his finger at her. "You made a decision, and I agreed to put my feelings aside so you could be a wife to Austin. And right now, you’re sad, you’re vulnerable… and this just isn’t right, it just isn’t right." He looked away and closed his eyes in frustration, but looked back at her with his eyes begging her to understand. "I love you too much to do this to you."

Reluctantly Mike moved off the bed and walked across the room. Carrie followed anxiously.

"How… can I be a wife to Austin if he is not HERE?" Mike threw his hands up in exasperation - he didn’t know the answer to that either. "There IS no marriage anymore, Mike. Austin is with Sami."

 "Listen, listen to me. I came here to comfort you, and to keep you from being alone. I did NOT come here to make you more confused..." Carrie tried to interrupt, but Mike needed to finish, and his voice became louder as he cut her off. "… and I did NOT come here to take advantage of you."

"That is NOT what you are doing. I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to make love just as much as you did!"

Mike didn’t know how to respond at first, or even what to think for that matter. He just stared at Carrie and swallowed hard. He reached out and took hold of the collar on her sweater, knowing that was all he dare let himself touch.

"I want you so much… but I can’t. I won’t be responsible for coming between you and Austin." He let her collar drop.

"Mike, there IS NO Austin and me - not any more."

Carrie brushed past Mike and walked over to the balcony doors. He turned and watched her with sadness as she looked out at the falling snow. He realized all he could really do to help her right now was love her, whatever that meant to her at this moment.

"I’ve made no secret of my feelings for you Carrie. I love you." She turned to look at him as he told her again. "I love you." She began to walk toward him. "And I’ll do anything I can to help you through this, but I’m afraid… I’m afraid that if I don’t go now, I’m never going to leave you."

Carrie again was silent. She stood there with her hands in the pockets of her sweater, perhaps in an effort to keep herself from reaching out to Mike. She pondered every word he spoke as it became part of her.

"You came here to be alone, and I intruded on you." Once again Carrie tried to speak, but Mike stopped her. "Listen to me, listen. You were right. You… you… I think you’re right. You need some space and some time…" He paused and took a deep breath. "…to clear your mind and decide what you want in your life, and WHO you want in your life."

A look of surprise spread across Carrie’s face. Mike had never said anything before about her needing to make a choice. He had always encouraged her to stay with Austin and fight for her marriage. She just stared at him as he continued.

"And listen, no matter WHAT you decide… all I want is for you to be happy."

The love and concern Mike expressed for Carrie made her forget her surprise, and a slight smile came to her lips. With that, Mike smiled in return and forced himself to say one more word - goodbye. He turned to leave, bending to pick his coat up off the floor. Carrie rushed toward him and touched his arm.

"Mike wait - don’t go..."

Mike turned and painfully looked into her eyes. What did she want from him? It was obvious he just couldn’t stay here any longer. He thought he could, but he was wrong. It was too much, too hard.

Carrie’s heart sank when she saw the hurt in Mike’s eyes. She knew it was there because of her. She stepped closer to Mike, and reached out and lightly grabbed onto his shirt. Her eyes pleaded as she looked up at him.

"I… need you to stay with me, Mike. It’s time that we faced the truth, both of us - especially me. And the truth is….."

Mike’s very existence hung on Carrie’s next words. His heart pounded so hard he was sure she could hear it. He tried desperately to control his breathing as his eyes begged her to continue.

Carrie was trembling inside. Why was it so hard to tell Mike what was in her heart? Why was it so difficult to let him see how she felt? She had to do this. She had to tell him the truth. Still shaking, she spoke softly as a slight smile ushered the words past her lips.

"I love you."

Mike stood motionless as he let Carrie’s words penetrate. Those words he thought he would never hear. Those words that validated his love for her, and restored his sanity. Those words that gave his life back to him. Her words seemed to move in slow motion as they floated through the air and echoed in his ears. The room was swirling around him, and he was unable to speak. THIS was the moment - the moment of truth. It was as if he had lived his entire life just for this one moment, and the reality of her words flooded through him in a rush of unimaginable joy and relief. He closed his eyes, sealing the moment forever in his heart.

As Carrie saw the power of her words take hold, it thrilled her heart. After all this time, she had finally released Mike from his prison. She was giving him a chance to live again. She was warmed by the flush that spread through her, and she felt even closer to Mike as she realized she had just shared her innermost secret with her best friend. As Mike closed his eyes, she put her hands on his chest, offering a kiss to reaffirm her words. Mike’s breath caught at the touch of her lips, and he let out a small gasp of joy as he accepted her love.

The desire and passion exploding between Mike and Carrie as they kissed was different now. Earlier it had been driven by a strong physical attraction. But everything changed the moment Carrie had spoken those words. They were now submerged in pure love, totally oblivious to anything but each other.

 Mike’s mind was swimming, and he thought his heart would burst. He had never been so overwhelmed with emotion, and right now nothing else in the world mattered. He clung to Carrie as a smile forced its way into his kiss. He kissed her neck and buried his face in her shoulder as tears filled his eyes. He wanted to hang on to her for dear life and never let go. He couldn’t bring her close enough, and she gasped as he gripped her even tighter. He tried to speak as he held his face against her hair drinking her in, but couldn’t yet find the words. But he had to try, and finally he pulled back. He smiled into her eyes, and took her hands in his.

"I can’t believe you said that!"

Carrie felt another warm flush as she saw Mike’s eyes fill with joy, and she smiled lovingly in return. Yet even as she opened her heart to him, guilt still clutched at her inside. But he deserved to know how she really felt, and while still struggling with her true emotions, she said the words again.

"It’s true. God forgive me, but I do… I love you."

Mike again could hardly speak. He grabbed at a wisp of her hair and whispered, "I love YOU." He brushed her lips with a light kiss, then excitedly embraced her again as he kissed her passionately. Both were breathing hard as Carrie slid her arms up his back and clasped onto his shoulders.

The moment erupted between them, leaving them totally unaware their love had already claimed it’s first casualty. Outside the balcony doors stood a man; a desperate man, whose entire world had just shattered. Overwhelmed by shock, followed by anger, Austin struggled to breathe as he stared at his wife willingly engulfed in another man’s passion.

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