AUSTIN KEEP THAT TOWEL UP

Austin pull that towel up,
You put it on in haste;
We really have no interest
In what’s below your waist.

More skin than we’re in need of,
More skin than should be seen;
The way you have that towel on
Is too close to obscene.

Look at how he stands there
That towel low on his hip;
If he makes a movement,
That towel is gonna slip!

Viewers grab your children
And cover up their eyes;
We don’t want to scare them
Because of some surprise!

OH NO! He’s moving toward us,
That towel is gone for sure!
We’re gonna see his doo dah -
Now that I can’t endure!

Whew! The camera saved us
And showed a higher view;
Thank goodness for those censors,
Now I won’t have to spew.

I think that Austin’s built well
To that I will agree;
I draw the line at privates -
It was too close for me.

So Austin keep that towel up,
Please pull it to your waist;
And next time put a robe on,
And show a bit more taste!

July 10, 1998