CHANCE ENCOUNTER

Part One - The Awakening

It was late one Friday night in October, 1997 - well actually, it was very, very early on Saturday morning - when I began to wake up, having fallen asleep in my rocker recliner in the living room. Suddenly, I realized I had heard someone say "Dr. Mike Horton". My chair jerked as I came to with a start - flipping one cat off my lap, and launching another off the back of the rocker. (There’s no faster way to come to than to hear Mike Horton’s name float past your ears.) But why had I heard his name?? The lights were on, and I looked around the room. The television was still on….had there been something on TV about Mike Horton? At 3:00 a.m. in the morning? I was hoping that was the case, otherwise it either meant someone was in my apartment, or else I was insane. I chose to believe it was the television.

As I unraveled myself from the chair, I tried to reach into my subconscious to see if I could remember hearing anything before "Dr. Mike Horton". But to no avail. So I sat there watching the TV. I knew my television had the answer, and I figured if I stared at it long enough, it would give it to me. A recast of the previous nit’s news was on, and although I didn’t really feel like watching the news, I wasn’t sleepy at all. And I couldn’t change the channel because I hadn’t found the remote yet. When I fall asleep with it in my recliner, I usually find it a day later in some crevice of the chair. And I was too lazy to get up and change the channel. So I watched the news.

About twenty minutes later, I was getting into the Sears jingle on a commercial for a grand re-opening for one of their stores in the area. All of a sudden at the end of the commercial, I see a picture of Roark on my screen. This is it! I’m not insane! (Well, maybe not this time.) He’s going to be at Sears on Saturday - this very day - signing autographs from 1:00-4:00 p.m. What?? Why didn’t I know about this? How come I didn’t ready anything about this in upcoming appearances anywhere? Why didn’t I see this advertised earlier in the week?? Who cares?? I’m going!!

Well by now it was 4:00 a.m., and I couldn’t sleep at all. So I did the only thing there is to do when you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep - I went to the refrigerator. As I apologized to my cats on the way (one under the couch, and the other still cowering under the table where she had landed after her flight), I realized I had a hair appointment in the afternoon. Well, I’d just have to reschedule it - certain things do take precedence. In the meantime, I had to try and get some sleep. And somehow I did manage to doze on and off until about 9:00 a.m.

I had a lot to do that morning. I sing in a small Barbershop Chorus, and we were giving a short performance at a local mall at 11:30 a.m. It was a Fifties show, which meant I had to get out my poodle skirt, bobby sox and tennies. (Just to clarify - I don’t happen to just have a poodle skirt remaining from the ‘old’ days. I’m a bit younger than that! These were special-made for our show.) I could change at the mall, but I had to put all that performance makeup on BEFORE I drove over there - various shades of blue eye shadow all the way up to the eyebrows, black eyeliner and mascara, tons of blush, red lipstick – gugh -- I was just hoping I wouldn’t get stopped for speeding or something looking like that! Anyway, we were supposed to be done by noonish, so that would give me time to go home before heading off to Sears, which was about 40-45 minutes from where I lived in Madison. I had to get all that gook off my face before going anywhere - especially to see Roark. 8-)

Everything went well, and I was on my way by 1:15 p.m. Little did I know this day would eventually lead to big changes in my life….

I sped along the highway thinking how unusual it was for me to be doing this. I’d seen a few celebrities in performances and events, but I’d only once before gotten an autograph. (Years ago I saw Leonard Nimoy in a couple of plays, and managed to get his picture and autograph.) Having to drive a bit of a distance gave me time to think about what I would say to Roark. I like to plan these things you know, so I don’t sound like a complete idiot. I decided I would tell him that I had ordered his movie, and thank him for doing a good job. That sounded simple enough.

I finally arrived at the mall at 2:00 p.m., and there cars and people everywhere. Sears had a number of events going on during the day, so it was crowded. I wasn’t sure where Roark would be, but I soon saw the line. Fortunately, I was able to find a vacated parking spot fairly close by. I grabbed my jacket and went and took my place in line. Roark was just inside a double door entrance, so most of the line was outside. It was long, but there was plenty of time I thought since he was there until 4:00 p.m. It was a gray, windy day, on the verge of chilly. And I began to feel the chill more and more as I found the line was moving very slowly.

There were people of all kinds in line - old, young, male, female. Some looked like ordinary people - nice, pleasant, chatting away. There was a group of young ladies with their hair all ratted up, their makeup applied heavily, and their clothes skin tight. Trying to impress Roark I’m sure. I thought he’d probably wonder what planet they were from, but then I remembered he lives in California. And there were young girls, I’d say mid-teens, gushing and babbling about how WONderful Roark is. There were boyfriends complaining about standing in line with their girlfriends just for some soap guy’s autograph, while the girlfriends pleaded with them to stay, insisting it wouldn’t be much longer.

Not too far in front of me was a mentally challenged young lady who just couldn’t wait to get in there. She had a loud voice that carried, and she kept going on about how much she loved Dr. Mike. She was also quite delighted at the recent slug Carrie had delivered to Sami, and went on about that for a while, laughing heartily. There were also four or five people in wheelchairs. But what interested me most, is that not once did I hear anyone use Roark’s real name. He was only referred to as Mike, or Dr. Mike.

The line crept along, and had gotten very long behind me. A couple of security people came out to get a look at the line, and chatted a bit. They were concerned that not everyone would get in to see Roark because he had to leave right at 4:00 p.m. to catch a flight out of Madison at 5:00 p.m. (Hmmm I thought… Madison, gosh, that’s where I’m going… I then wondered how good the security was if someone was sharing that information.) People were frustrated and asked what was taking so long. One guard said Roark was chatting with each person, and letting them take pictures. They’d asked him not to do that so more people could get through, but, they said, he WANTS to do that. So things were moving slowly.

The wind picked up and it began to get quite chilly. As I inched my way to the entrance, I started to chat more with the people around me. The line wound in through the left side of the double doors, and there were two sets of doors to go through. People were popping out of line and going in through the right side doors to take a look, and snap a picture. Security was letting them do that, and then shooing them out.

There were two sisters in front of me, one just eighteen, and the other in her upper twenties. The younger one went to take some pictures, and she came back all breathless saying she’d taken some, and she couldn’t get over how small Roark looked. I didn’t have my camera with me, so the older sister said she’d send copies to me. I gave her my business card so she could reach me, and she got all excited because she was good friends with someone who worked at my company, and whose name I knew. Then the young lady behind me got excited and said her father worked there too. And it turned out I knew him and had worked with him a number of times. This world really is small sometimes.

It was 3:40 p.m. and I still had a ways to go. The wind was cold by now, and many people were shivering. The people around me agreed to save my place so I could go get a look at Roark, which of course I did. I stepped inside, and there he was, standing in women’s apparel. I mean he was standing in the women’s apparel DEPARTMENT. There was a table next to him with a stack of pictures of himself, and he grabbed one to autograph for each person. I could barely see him because the "line" became a group of people around him at his end. He was talking and laughing, and posing for pictures just as they had said.

Just at that moment, Security brought in the people in the wheelchairs and pushed them up behind Roark. Someone tapped him on the shoulder to let him know they were there, and he turned to face them with a broad grin on his face. He immediately began chatting with each one, giving them an autographed picture, laughing away at their comments in an almost animated fashion. It made me smile. I then went back and stood in line.

By 3:50 p.m. it was very cold, and some people had given up and left. I was almost up to the entrance, and the people behind me were getting very anxious. Security once again came out and told people they weren’t going to get in because Roark had to leave, and so a few more people left. As we got almost to the entrance, the line suddenly pushed up against me as the teenage girls behind me tried to get a peek at Roark. They started to call out, "Dr. Mike, Dr. Mike!" He suddenly looked up from the front of the line, grinned, and waved at them. And they screamed. Right in my ear. Then all I could hear was, "I saw him, I saw him!" "Oh he’s so cute!" This too made me smile. It also made me realize how young I’m not. :-)

But there just wasn’t enough time. Roark stayed beyond his cutoff time until 4:10 p.m., and I had gotten just inside the first set of doors. He had to leave though, and Security scurried him off to the right. Several people, mostly teenage girls now, moved over to another door where his limousine had pulled up. I walked over there too hoping for another glimpse, but there were about three rows of people in front of me. Finally, Roark came out of the door, encircled by three security people. They surrounded him, facing out toward the crowd, with their hands linked forming a barrier. Roark was smiling and waving, and as they walked to the car, he stuck his arms and hands out between the security people. And the girls went nuts. They ran forward screaming, grabbing at his hands as best they could, yelling out, "I love you!" (Well if they love him so much, why don’t they know his name?) He got into the limousine safely, and off they went, with all these girls waving after him.

I stood there in amazement. Just how is he supposed to keep his ego in check with all that stuff going on I thought. I just couldn’t believe it. Anyway, to my right was a tall, blond, young girl, crying quietly. I thought maybe she was upset because she hadn’t gotten to see Roark. So I walked over and talked to her.

"Are you alright?"

She didn’t even look at me, but kept staring at her hand and said, "I touched him… I touched him."

This was too much. I thought I MUST be on Candid Camera. I put my arm around her and said, "You know what? You’re awfully lucky. And I think you’re going to be alright."

She finally looked at me and quietly said ‘thank you’ through her tears, and walked away. I watched her walk away, still keeping an eye out for Allan Funt, Jr.

Suddenly it dawned on me - I hadn’t seen Roark myself! And after I had stood in line for two hours, nearly freezing. I looked out over the parking lot in the direction the limousine had gone, and at that moment I decided - I was going to make a run for the airport!

I jumped in my old truck, and took off as quickly as I could. Of course there was a ton of traffic, so it took several minutes just to get out of the parking lot. Finally, I was on the road, and headed back toward Madison. I was glad it was all highway - it made the trip faster and less hassled. I gradually made it up to the speed limit which was 65MPH, and pushed it beyond to 70MPH. My old truck rattles quite a bit at those speeds, but I didn’t pay any attention. I kept watching for a black limousine, but realized there was no way I’d catch up to them, especially if they were rushing to get Roark to the airport. Up to 75MPH - yeah, I can do that. So what if I lose some of the body? It’s one third gone anyway, and the less body there is, the better mileage I get.

Suddenly I asked myself - WHAT am I doing? Am I NUTS?? I’m chasing after a celebrity. I don’t believe in chasing after celebrities. This is not an appropriate thing to do. And if it wasn’t for the fact that I had to go back to Madison anyway, I CERTAINLY wouldn’t be doing this. And even if I saw Roark, what would I say to him? I didn’t even have a camera with me to ask for a picture. I went back and forth on this, and I’m sure anyone I passed was a bit bewildered to see me having this conversation with myself. I finally decided it wouldn’t hurt to at least check out the airport, and maybe get a look-see. He’d probably never be in this area again, and I just wanted a look….

I got back to Madison, and made my way to the airport. I told myself over and over there was no way Roark would still be there, but I kept going anyway. I pulled into the airport parking area, and drove up to the front of the building where people are dropped off to check in for their flights. Madison’s airport is small, so this is easy to do. I looked around for a limo, but didn’t see one. I was sure he was gone, so I pulled ahead to leave. As I swung around the drive however, my truck didn’t follow the exit signs. Instead, it followed the parking signs. Hmmm, what’s the matter with this truck? It drove into the parking ramps and pulled into an empty spot facing the main building. As I stared at the entrance, I again told myself how ridiculous I was being, and I thought I should just leave. But then I decided as long as I was there, I might as well go in.

I walked across the drive to the main entrance and went into the airport. It was 5:10 p.m. Things were quiet, with very few people around. I started scanning the check-in counters for anyone familiar. Nope. I looked around for someone sitting in a seat somewhere. Nope. This IS crazy! Even if Roark had missed his flight and was still here, he had probably gone through the security check to the boarding gate areas already. I took one last glance around, then turned to leave. I got to the door and stopped. Maybe I’ll just look over by the café before I go.

I walked back into the main area and headed to the left. Just then someone came walking in from the gate areas carrying luggage, and called out - Hi Elayn! I stopped. It was someone I knew from work. Good grief - can’t I EVER get away from work? We had a quick exchange, and he went his way. I turned back toward the café and again started off in that direction.

I walked a few steps, and suddenly I stopped dead in my tracks. I literally blinked and shook my head. Roark had just crossed right in front of me, only a few feet away….

Roark must have walked right through my blind spot on the left, because I never saw him coming. He was just suddenly in front of me. And he kept going to the right toward the café. He was wearing blue jeans, sneakers, and a long sleeved shirt with the sleeves rolled up. ;-) I was shocked, not so much because of who he was, but because he was even there at all! And he was alone! After I got done blinking and shaking my head like one of the Three Stooges, I immediately began to follow him. I suddenly realized what I was doing. What WAS I doing? I was following Roark through the airport. I knew I wanted to say something, but what? I started to get a bit nervous, but stayed right behind him.

He walked into the café. Now, this café is very small, and actually more like a deli. You order your food at the counter, and there are a few small tables you can sit at. No one paid any attention to Roark as he walked over to the right and began looking down into the cooler section. I came up on his right, and stood there for a few seconds. Finally I managed to speak.

"Hello..."

He turned and looked at me with a bit of confusion on his face, and slowly said, "Hi..."

I said, "I followed you all the way from Janesville!" ending with a smile.

Well now, Elayn, let’s see. Maybe there must be a better way to introduce yourself. How about, ‘Hi. I’m Elayn. I’m a stalker.’ Yes, that would be better. What was I thinking? That’s just it, I WASN’T thinking. I hadn’t planned what to say because I never thought he’d be there.

I cannot explain the look on Roark’s face. I’d never seen him with that look before on the show, and I’ve never seen it since. He probably didn’t even know himself that he had that look on his face. But I’ll NEVER forget it. It was a mixture of confusion, apprehension and suspicion, and I had caused that look. It was obvious he wasn’t sure what to say. Quick I thought to myself, say SOMETHING!

"I was one of those who didn’t get in to see you at Sears in Janesville, and I just wanted to meet you and say hi."

Again he spoke cautiously, "Well hi…. that’s a long way to come."

"Oh no, no, no," I replied, "I live here."

He laughed nervously, and looked down at the contents of the cooler again. This was definitely not going well.

I went on. "I don’t have anything for you to sign, but I just wanted to say hi."

Once more he said, "Well hi…." as he looked at me with that expression again, only this time the confusion was gone. I didn’t know what to say next, and there was a awkward silence. Finally he said, "Well, I guess I better order my sandwich." And with that, he turned to the left and walked over to the counter.

Needless to say, I was crushed. And at that moment, embarrassed. This was definitely not how I wanted to meet Roark. Several thoughts went through my head. Maybe he’s not as nice as they say, or maybe he’s only friendly at appearances, or else he thinks I’m crazy. I believed the latter to be true. How could I be so foolish as to come here anyway?

My stomach sunk and went into a knot. I turned around, set my purse down on the table I was near, and just stood there for a minute. I didn’t know what to do. Should I wait and try to talk to him again? If he was still standing there, I could at least tell him I realized I was being inappropriate, apologize and leave. But he had turned and walked away. He’d made it pretty clear he wasn’t interested in talking to me. And I couldn’t have felt any worse than I did at that moment. So I picked up my purse, and quietly walked out of the café.

As I left the café and walked around the corner, I looked back through the café window and saw Roark still standing at the counter. At the very same time, he looked up and saw me, and we held each other’s glance for just a few seconds. He still had a peculiar look on his face, yet somewhat different. I’m sure he’s relieved, I thought to myself.

I went into the ladies room, plopped my purse on the counter, and looked in the mirror. My hair was windblown from standing outside all afternoon, and I had a bit of windburn on my face. I just stared at myself, wondering why I had even come to the airport. The whole thing had been a disaster. When I could feel tears starting to well up, I tried to defer them by telling myself how ridiculous it was to be upset about this.

It wasn’t as though Roark would remember me - he didn’t even know who I was. After all, I’m just one tiny freckle on the whole big butt of fan-dom. Yet I was picturing one of those interviews in the soap magazines where an actor comments on some crazy fan he’s met. And I wasn’t upset that I didn’t get to chat with Roark, or get his autograph. What was bothering me was that I felt I had intruded on his personal time, and I shouldn’t have done that. And I believed he thought I might be an obsessive fan, which I’m not. And yet I HAD hunted him down at the airport, which I normally don’t consider to be appropriate behavior.

If I wrong someone, I usually want to try and make things right if at all possible, and if it makes sense to do so. And that’s why I had this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach - I’d done something I believed to be wrong, and it hadn’t been made right. As I powdered my nose and made an attempt to fix my hair, I decided I needed to repair this situation. I needed to apologize. But first, I had to find Roark.

I walked out of the ladies room and glanced toward the café, but I didn’t see him. So I tried to nonchalantly circle the area to see if I spotted him, but no such luck. I didn’t see him sitting anywhere else, so I figured he must have gone through to the gate area. In that case, it was too late. I wasn’t going to go through security just so I could search for him beyond that point. If I did that, he’d REALLY think I was stalking him. Feeling extremely disappointed, I turned to leave. But I stopped myself at the exit. Maybe I’ll just sort of look around a little more. He just might be somewhere I hadn’t looked (like the men’s room), and if I hung around, I might see him.

I couldn’t just stand there though, so I went into the gift shop across from the café and pretended to browse. I looked at clothing, jewelry, mugs, gift, magazines… all the while trying to casually glance around in all directions. I started to have thoughts of Roark asking airport security to question me, or worse yet - to have me arrested. Good grief! Not only had I stalked him, now I was lurking on top of it! I began to feel more and more guilty. Finally after several minutes, I realized I wasn’t going to find him, and I walked toward the exit. But once again I stopped myself at the door. I’ll take one last good look in the café area I thought.

I turned around, and came to a complete halt. My eyes widened. There was a police officer several feet in front of me, and he was headed right toward me. Oh my gosh - this was it. Roark was having me arrested. How was I going to get out of this one? My mind raced. What should I say? What explanation could I possibly give? What would I tell my family and friends? How would I raise bail? I just stood there unable to move, my heart pounding, not knowing what to do. He was getting closer. Oh great, I was having a hot flash and my glasses were fogging up. I stared down at the floor, trying to act like nothing was wrong.

Finally he was only a couple of feet away. I lifted my head and looked right at him. "Good evening" he said with a smile as he walked past me. I managed a weak smile as I just about peed in my pants. I’m surprised he didn’t arrest me just for looking so guilty. As I flooded with relief I thought, ‘What is the MATTER with me? I’ve got to stop being so paranoid here.’ I felt like I was caught in the middle of somebody’s comedy sketch. It was obvious I’d never make it as a criminal.

I composed myself, and continued my search. I got closer to the café this time, and surveyed the tables, as well as the little lounge area just beyond the café. Still nothing. But wait… there was an entrance to another room beyond the lounge area. It was a bar. I didn’t notice it before because it was a bit darkened, and I hadn’t gotten close enough to realize it was there. I walked closer and took a good look. And sure enough, there was Roark, sitting at the bar.

Just to give logistics, Roark was sitting at the right end of the front of the bar, with his back to me. But I knew it was him. This was it. I had to do this. I would just get his attention, offer my apologies, and leave. That's all. I can do this. I took a deep breath, and walked toward the bar. I tried to slowly exhale as I got closer in an effort to relax myself. Yeah right. This is ridiculous I thought - he's just a regular person. Yeah right.

As I stepped into the bar area, I noticed that Roark was the only customer there. Ah, what luck - I wouldn't have to make a fool of myself in front of other people. I was only a few feet away now, and the bartender noticed me and smiled. She didn't say anything though because Roark was in the midst of chatting with her. He had sheets of printed material spread out all over the bar in front of him, along with a bottle of beer. (No, I don't remember what kind!)

I came up behind Roark on his right side and stopped a couple of feet away. He still was not aware I was there. He finished what he was saying, and the bartender picked up a napkin and started to put it on the bar. She was just about to ask me what I'd like to drink, when I shook my head indicating no, and motioned for her not to say anything. She glanced at Roark, smiled, and walked a few steps away.

I took another deep breath, and with a somewhat shaky voice said, "Excuse me. I'm SORRY to bother you. I just..."

As soon as Roark heard me, he turned around very quickly. And this is the second moment I will never forget. As he turned to face me, the lights behind me struck his eyes, just as I imagine studio lights might do. I was not prepared for this. One of the things I had wanted to do was see what his blue eyes looked like in real life. But I had forgotten about that hours ago. So I was caught completely off guard. And it was inexplicable. But I'll try.

I'm not one to be "affected" much so-to-speak by other people. But in that moment, I experienced something quite unusual. Now, I know that Roark doesn't appeal to everyone. But I do believe in charisma, and I do believe he has it. And to those he DOES appeal to, I believe it can be quite affecting. But not in the way you might think.

I believe charisma emanates itself in various forms. For some, it becomes a sexual attraction. For others, it may present itself as charm, strength, power, etc. With Roark, it's warmth. And when I looked at his eyes as the light hit them, they not only became the bluest eyes I personally had ever seen, but they also released his warmth. And that's what I experienced. I instantly had a feeling of warmth spread through me. It was like stepping out into the sunlight. It's what I believe some refer to as melting. And it affects people to different degrees. Whatever you call it, it really was extraordinary, and I doubt he even realizes his full effect.

I don't think Roark's warmth emits to this extreme all the time, although I believe it's always there. I just think this particular set of circumstances - the light hitting his eyes, standing so close, and my not expecting it - caused it to have a more powerful effect. Now don't misunderstand - I also happen to think he's handsome, charming and sexy. But the underlying charisma is warmth, in my opinion. I know this may sound somewhat dramatic, or perhaps improbable or even ridiculous. But those who know me will tell you I'm not given to gushing about someone. I did experience it, and I've tried to honestly describe it as best I can.

Now even though I felt this effect, to me it wasn't overwhelming, and fortunately it only threw me for a few seconds - which didn't matter anyway because as soon as Roark saw who I was, he jumped right into the middle of my sentence. He threw his hands up in front of him as he spoke.

"THERE you are! I WONDERED where you went! I was looking for paper to write on." And he motioned to all the paper he had spread out on the bar.

I didn't move. As my mind tried to absorb what I had just heard, I resisted the urge to look over my shoulder to see if he was talking to someone behind me. "You were?" I responded somewhat stunned. Somehow I managed to regain my senses and continued. "No, no, no... I just wanted to apologize for before. I realize it's kind of crazy saying you followed someone. I had to come back to Madison anyway, and I just thought I might catch you at the airport."

There! Mission accomplished! I'd gotten it out. Then I realized he had said he was looking for paper to write on. Could he possibly mean.... for an autograph? For me?

He continued to wave his hands in the air a bit. "No, no - I just thought I better order my sandwich, and then I turned around and you were gone. I thought, 'She probably thinks I brushed her off.' "

WHAT???? Somebody pinch me!! Well by now, I was completely dumbfounded. HE was concerned that I thought he had brushed ME off???? That must have been why the look on his face seemed different when he looked at me through the window after I walked out of the cafe. To use a phrase, you could have knocked me over with a feather. My legs, I couldn't feel my legs. I looked down. Good - they were still there, and I was still standing. This was a good thing. I had to say something, it was my turn.

"You did?" was all I could get out at first. Finally I added, "I just didn't want you to think I'm one of those nutsy people."

"No, no," he assured me with a smile. There was that feeling of warmth again.

At this point, things started to seem more real. Roark explained that he thought he might find some paper to write on, since I didn't have anything for him to autograph. As he spoke, he turned around and started shuffling through the papers on the bar. What WAS all that stuff anyway I wondered? As the bartender offered to look for some paper too, I relaxed and came closer to the bar, standing next to where he was sitting.

And as we began to chat, I instantly felt completely comfortable. The bartender didn't find any paper, so finally Roark picked up one of the 8-1/2 x 11 pieces of white paper in front of him, creased it, and tore off a half sheet. It had some printed words on one side, so he flipped it over to the blank side, picked up his pen, and looked at me. I realized he wanted to know my name. I said my name, but he stared at the paper without moving his pen. I realized he wanted me to spell that for him. And of course, I did. After that, he appeared to be trying to think of what to write besides his name. So in the meantime, I thought I'd ask him some questions.

Remembering him surrounded by fans in Sears, and all the screaming young ladies, I said, "So did you ever imagine you'd be doing all this? You REALLY know you've made it when you're standing in Sears signing autographs."

Oh oh - I was too relaxed. I was trying to be funny. Fortunately, he laughed before he answered.

"Well, I guess I.... Yeah it is kind of weird standing in Sears. (laughed again) I felt sorry for those people standing outside. Some of those girls were actually shivering."

I was about to tell him that I didn't think it was the cold that was making some of them shiver, but I just smiled and said, "Yeah, I was standing next to a young lady who was just shaking."

Then I remembered that I'd ordered his movie. "I just sent in an order for your movie - is it still available?"

He smiled. "Yes it is. Thank you."

I was curious now. "Has it sold a lot?" I asked him.

"Yeah it has, considering we haven't really done any real advertising. We just put it in the magazine (Soap Opera Digest)...."

"And it's on the Internet…" I interjected. Good grief, now I was interjecting.

"It's on the Internet, and it's done real well," he finished without my help.

Ah, the Internet. There was another topic I could go into. "I use the Internet at work, and I decided to go in and look at the Days stuff. There is a TON of stuff out there. I could NOT believe it!"

Roark nodded and rolled his eyes a bit, indicating that he couldn't believe it either. "I'd like to try and stay on top of some of that. We're going to have our own web page, on Monday in fact."

I wasn't sure who he meant by 'we', but I assumed it was about him, and would include his production company somehow. He continued.

"There's someone who has a web page called The Mike & Carrie Page or something, and she won some kind of award for it."

I happened to know that he was referring to The Mike & Carrie Fan Page. I had met someone named Fran somewhere else on the Internet, and she invited me to visit the Fan Page and take a look at their story page.

"Yes, I've seen it, " I told him. "Someone there put up several pages of a storyline for Mike and Carrie."

Oh, what was that person's name again? I just couldn't remember. It didn't matter though, because Roark knew who I was talking about.

"Yeah, this person handed me about 30 pages of storyline ideas at an event. And it wasn't just the lines, there was all this other.... STUFF with it telling the story."

Okay, so it wasn't his most articulate moment. But he sounded impressed. I myself had really liked it, and I said, "Yeah, I thought it was good actually."

He nodded right away. "Yeah, it was pretty good."

At this point my recruiting nature checked in. "So what have you enjoyed the most so far being on Days?" I laughed and added sarcastically, "Boy, you can tell I recruit in my job. What do you enjoy? What's your biggest challenge?" I rolled my eyes at myself.

He laughed. "Well.... " He seemed to be thinking about it.

I looked around and said, "Isn't this a little airport?" Now where did THAT come from? I think I was just trying to make small talk while he was thinking.

He laughed once again and said, "Yeah it is," before answering my previous question. "It's just that it's a good job to have."

I thought about how long he'd actually been on the show and said, "It took a while to get a storyline though."

His response? "But even before I had a storyline, it was still a good job." He leaned toward me with a smile on his face and said, "I was tending BAR before that. Now it's just a better job." So there you have it - the Roark Philosophy.

All during this conversation, I'd been observing Roark. Yes, to me he appeared smaller in person. His face was thinner, and his chin looked more pointed. And it was different to see him with a wedding ring on. It reminded me of that episode where Sami worked for Mike in the hospital for one day, and he had forgotten to take his ring off for a couple of those scenes.

He was very friendly of course, but it was different from when I saw him greeting fans at Sears. He definitely was not 'on' at this point. He probably was tired. The whole conversation lasted about twenty minutes. He never stood up, and I never sat down. And he wasn't particularly articulate or expressive, not in this conversation anyway. He just spoke like a regular person. And that's what struck me. He's a regular person after all, just like they always say. He just happens to be a regular person with some very special qualities!

Roark had finally thought of something to say on that piece of paper in front of him, and so he began to close the conversation. He looked at me and said, "I'm sorry about earlier. I'm glad you came back."

And once more I said, "Well, I just thought you'd think I was one of those obsessive, nutsy people...."

"No, no," he said interrupting me again. He smiled, handed me the piece of paper and said, "Well, here you go!"

Oh no - a closing! I need a closing! "Well, it was very nice meeting you," I said in my best business voice. And I extended my hand. Yes, a handshake. No hug, just a handshake. From the look on his face, I think it surprised him a bit. But he shook it, and it was a good handshake I might add! My last comment? I looked at him and said, "Thanks for doing a good job," followed by a smile.

A smile came over his face as he quietly replied, "Thank you."

And then it took every ounce of strength I could muster to get myself to turn and walk away. But I did. It wasn't easy, but I did. And as I rounded the corner of the cafe, I looked down at the piece of paper in my hand. It said, "Hey, Elayn! Thanks for chasing me! Dr. Mike :-)" And he signed his name. At least I assumed it was his name - it wasn't legible. It made me smile, and I had that feeling of warmth yet one more time. And I could feel a couple of tears welling up again. But by the time I got to the exit, my smile had become a grin. And this time, I went through the door.

I stepped out into the night air. It was dark by now and had gotten very chilly, but I didn't really notice. Just then I heard a rustling noise on the ground somewhere near me, and I looked around to see what it was. Suddenly I heard a teeny little voice.

"Excuse me..."

I looked down at my feet and was surprised to see a little mouse looking up at me, clasping a feather in his tiny paw. "Well, hello there little one. Who are YOU?" I inquired as I bent down to get a closer look.

"My name's Matthew," he said quickly, then adding, "but everyone calls me Matt."

"That's a nice name," I told him.

"I'm looking for Carrie Brady - have you seen her?" he asked suddenly.

"No I haven't, but I HAVE seen Mike Horton," I offered. "Will that help?"

"No, no. I must find Carrie Brady. Can you tell me which way it is to the maze?" He was now sounding a bit frantic.

"Hmmm.... I think it's that way," I replied as I pointed off into the distance. And as I looked down again, the mouse was gone. Well, that certainly was strange I thought. And for some reason, I just couldn't shake the feeling that I hadn't seen the last of my new little friend.

As I walked to the parking ramps, I thought about what an unusual day this had turned out to be, to say the least. For someone who doesn't usually display too many emotions, I had certainly run the gamut. I suddenly realized how exhausted I was. Funny, I hadn't noticed it before. Guess I must have been distracted. ;-)

I got in my truck, and tucked my autograph safely away in my carry-all bag. I leaned back in the seat. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I certainly didn't feel good about the way I tracked down Roark, and I wouldn't want to encourage others to do such a thing. But aside from that, I'm not the kind to make a lot of noise about things anyway. I knew I would tell my family and friends, but I DID wish I had a best friend I could run to and tell right away - someone who would appreciate hearing about my adventure.

Anyway, I'd make sure I wrote down every detail of this day as soon as I got home, so I wouldn't forget a single word, thought or feeling that had happened. You never know, someday SOMEONE may want to hear all about it I assured myself. As I pulled out of the ramps, I suddenly remembered something - Bradygirl! That was her name! I felt better now. And I drove away, and finally left the airport - and Roark - behind me.