To begin with, this is LONG overdue, this happened in early November 2002, but I wanted XBOX RULES to be idiot for at least a year. Also, as a perrequisate to this, I suggest you read Why Zelda isn't an RPG, it explains my feelings on Zelda as a RPG, and also gives a detailed explanation as t why we have genres. But, I digress. I've cringed anytime someone tries to call Zelda an RPG, but THIS is absolutly ridiculous. This guy popped onto the GameFAQs Metroid Prime board with the question, "Is This an RPG". Well, some guy who has never heard of Metroid, that's ok. But then he puts forth his criteria for a RPG Video Game:

-Has a story.
-You control one character.
-You have one objective.

Wow. Kind of defeats the entire purpose of classifying games into genres, eh? Well, let's do a little catagorizing here, with games that are RPGs and games that aren't.

RPGs:

• Half-Life
• Halo
• Resident Evil (1-3)
• Grand Theft Auto III
• Mario series
• Conker's Bad Fur Day
• Bomberman

Now, some non-RPGs:

• EarthBound
• Crono Trigger
• Final Fantasy III
• Secret of Mana

You see the fault in this, right? This is just so retarded, I'm at a loss for words. Following are his posts related to the sublject, in yellow, with some of my notes on his contradictions and stupidity.

• I really need to know this, i have one magizine saying it is another it's not, 100 ppl saying it is another 100 it's not. [It's not nearly that close] I'm lost and confused, is this an RPG? And the demo hasn't come to my area yet so could someone tell me what it's like?
• How bout i put it a different way, is there a story line? [Where is he going with this???]
• Sadly, the first time i incountered Samus was in Super Smash Bros., so, no, i have not played an acctuall Metroid game. And, if it has a story line, and if you don't change carachter, then it is an RPG. I have my answer, thanx. [What?!?!?!]
• I don't care what you think, in my and many other's dictionary [Name one other person.] , it's an RPG. And no, almost every game was not an RPG, [Actually, pretty much, yea] like, half of them are multi player games, like SSBM, and it doesn't matter if there is a certain veiw that you have because most race car games have first person view and are not considered FPAs. [Because they're RACING games] And just because somthing's in first person does not mean that it can't be an RPG. [True dat, but not on your definition] And you don't have to be in first person view. It changes under water. [Metroid Prime???] RE games are RPGs, FF games are RPGs, Zelda games are RPGs, Zelda games you can go into first person, MP, is an RPG. ['X=Y, Y=Z, X=Z, I win, guh-haw!', dumbass, this isn't math class] They all have somthing in common that makes them RPGs, i'm not going to tell you what it is, FIGURE IT OUT!!!!!!!!!! [We already did, you're a dumbass]
• Mario is an RPG. Sonic, no, you change charachters, [Only in the new ones, dumbass] GTA games, no, you change charachters. [LOL] R-P-G = Role Playing Game, [That's EVERYTHING, I play the 'role' of a paddle in Pong!] ROLE, you want me to look it up? ROLE PLAYING GAME, you have one objective in the game, ONE. [Explain how nearly every ACTUAL RPG has twists in the storyline, resulting in several paths and objectives?] In mario, it's beating spoiler and sploiler, in zelda, beating ganondorf, You have one objective in MP. In gta, i have never heard a real ONE objective. In sonic, you have four main objctives. Should I go on?
• Yeah Sargus, you think i'm acting like an idiot because i beleive somthing almost no one else does, [I thought you and 'many others' thought this way?] and no, Animal Crossing has no story line. And it sux. I'm an idiot because i think somthing different from you?!? O_o [In this case, YES]
• I think you're done too, and wrong, an RPG does NOT need magic to be an RPG. In Zelda, you fight to survive, blow things up, and it's an RPG. RE, it's an RPG, you shoot, you fight to survive, and you blow things up. MP has all that too. [Since when was survival a criteria for a RPG?] I think i'm done, and i am, for tonight. If you're gonna say somthing, don't expect an answer till tomarrow, unless i'm still up past midnight, which would still be tomarrow, but you get the idea. I'm out.

  [In referance to most of what he's said to this point; that's is why RPG doesn't literally mean "Role Playing Game" when applied to video games. Because you have a "role" in virtually any game ever made, and if everything is in a genre, then what is the point of having genres. That's why the video game genre "RPG" are plot-driven games that usually have turn-based battles and level building elements. Because then, someone can describe a game as a RPG and it'll be possible to have an idea what it plays like. That's what genres are for, for grouping games in with games that play similarly. Under your definition of what constitutes an RPG, you'd be better off asking if it's a Video Game, that's about as specific. Under you definition actually, about the only games that aren't RPGs are RPGs, because in most RPGs you have a party of characters that you control, not one character for the whole game (Crono Trigger, FFVI, FFVII).]

• Wow, Strider4700 figured out my name, and why are you ppl still posting on my topic? [Because it's that damn funny] I dropped it like, 10 hours ago, and i remained convinced that MP is an RPG. The idea of MP being an RPG out weighs the idea of MP being a FPS. 1 magazine says it's an RPG, [What is this magazine???] another magazine says it's not. About the same number of ppl saying that MP is not an RPG are saying it is. [Not in this thread] And after what you ppl told me what this game is like, i was convinced that it is an RPG from MY definition. It's MY definition and just cause you disaggree with it doesn't mean that you can say, what the hell is wrong with you, by your definition/logic then "EVERY" game is an RPG, your definition is wrong, and i'm right. And no, i'm not one of those ppl who thinks they're always right. [Based of this, yes, you very much are] I'm not coming back here. C yas.
• Ok, I did a little bit of thinking after reading the storyline of it on a site that my friend gave me, and i decided to call it a ShooteRPG. I decided to come back to see if anyone had bothered to even still post on this topic. [Shoote RPG? Backpedeling are we? And If you want this topic stopped, you should of closed it, dumbass]
• I declare this game a SRPG in my opinion so shut up if you gonna argue.
• Shoote + R + PG, get it, ShooteR and RPG, put them together and you get, ShooteRPG.
• bump
• I accidently bumped it, for some reason i thought i was on one of my topics in SMS board. [Was it like this one?]

Other notes on emarslim; he is a staffer at a Golden Sun webpage. A staffer at a RPG Game fan site! The IRONY. Page can be found here There he 'works' under the name Picard as a 'Content Advisor'. He is 14, and his favorite games are "Golden Sun, Metroid Prime, GCN Zelda, Super Smash Brothers Melee, Dave Mirra BMX 2", two of which haven't been released, and all of which are RPGs.

Congratulations, emarslim, you are the new USN Idiot of the Moment!