"I'm so sorry, Rachel. I shouldn't have asked you to come along," Leah apologized.

"Will you stop saying that, Leah! I would have never allowed you to do this alone. I do nothing that I don't want to do in this life so if I had not wanted to accompany you, I wouldn't be here," Rachel spoke boldly, always her nature.

"We have to be getting close to Stockton." Rachel tried to be positive.

"By the time we arrive it will be too late to get help for him." Leah started to sob.

"Leah, no more tears. It solves nothing. When we get to Stockton, we'll get help whether it comes from "him" or not," Rachel stated firmly, not taking her eyes off the road.

"For heavens sake, Rachel, you can say his name. There's no one here but me and you...and Heath." The young woman softened as she stroked the flushed face of her son.

"Well, I think that until we arrive in Stockton and you're sure, I would prefer not using "his" name when the boy is present. Heath is now four years old, Leah. He hears and repeats. Must I remind you of what he shared with Mrs. O'Conner a few Sundays ago about that large brimmed hat she always wears? Do you really want him going around using "his" name, not really understanding just who he's speaking about?" Rachel warned, though the remembrance of their little blond boy running up and telling the deacon's wife that her head was as big as her hat did make her smile.

"He's sound asleep, Rachel, and even if he were awake he's too sick to understand much of what we're saying. Do you think I should try to wake him to give him some water? Besides...I've made my decision, you know that! It is the only thing I can do." Leah shifted her boy in her lap, trying to see if he would stir.

"Don't wake him. It took him so long to finally drift off. I think he's not only very ill but frightened by the way we bundled him up and left so hurriedly," Rachel shared.

"He just seems to grow sicker as the hours pass, Rachel. I am so worried. He hasn't even stirred in more than an hour. He's having more difficulty breathing. I think that's what scares him. His eyes are so big when he is gasping for air. What have I done? I've been so selfish." The tears started again. Leah was unable to hide them.

"Selfish! We've talked about this for years, Leah. Four years to be exact. You love that little boy more than life itself. Was it so wrong for you to want to keep your child? We both know that if you would have told Tom Barkley about him, he would have wanted to take him to Stockton to become part of his family...with his wife and other children," Rachel spoke boldly. Even now she did not want Tom to know that Heath was his son.

"We don't know that. Maybe he would have been content to pay visits to us in Strawberry, even bring his other children so that Heath and his half brothers would know each other. Maybe he would have sent money so that Heath could have nice clothes and plenty of food so that he could have proper meals... maybe I would be able to take my son to a doctor and pay for the medicine he needs. I just couldn't do what that terrible doctor wanted in exchange for medicine. What kind of life would I be creating for Heath if I'd done so?" Leah's voice was full of emotion.

"Leah, what a lovely picture you paint of Tom Barkley. The fact is still the same. He came, he enjoyed his time with you and he left. He never came back, one letter, my Friend, one letter telling you to move on, to find a man...any man, but not him. He has a nice life complete with a ranch, a wife and children. I told you years ago, if you wanted to be a mother to this child you could never let it be known who the father was. Now, I understand that you are in a dire situation. Heath needs a doctor, a good doctor, not the likes of that horrible man in Strawberry who not only calls himself a doctor but also the town barber. Leah, rethink your decision about telling Tom the truth. Couldn't we just say that you had nowhere else to turn and that you had heard there was a good doctor in Stockton?" Rachel questioned.

"I can't lie to him. I...will always love him. He'll look at my beautiful son, our son, and know. He looks like his father, you've said that yourself. And don't you think he'll connect the fact that we shared a bed and that there is a child that matches the exact number of years?" Leah questioned.

"Oh, he's smart enough, but does he want to know? Will he admit it? I doubt it. You thought he would return. You called him a responsible man, for nine months you watched for him to ride back into Strawberry, and when you held this child just minutes old you promised him that his Papa would be coming soon." Rachel's words seemed hurtful, but she had to make Leah think about telling Tom the truth. What if he wanted to play no part in Heath's life?

"I thought he would, I really did. He loved me, I know he did," Leah sobbed and hugged her son tighter.

"He loved how you pleased him, sweet Leah, so trusting. You know, Heath is small for his age. I think we could tell them that the boy is a year younger. Heath could pass for three," Rachel shared. She didn't want Leah to lose Heath.

"I can't lie to the doctor. How can he help Heath if I lie about his age? And I must ask, please do not talk poorly about Heath's father. It hurts me when you talk mean about him. Like it or not, I loved him and he is my child's father." Leah composed herself to make her point.

"Fine...fine, I'm just being honest with you, Leah. I want you to understand that we may be heading back to Strawberry without Heath if you go through with this," Rachel warned.

"Thank you for being honest, but it's my decision to make. I realize that you went through a very difficult situation and that you have not seen your child in ten years, but my situation may not turn out the same. You have been so good to me Rachel. You understand my situation like no one else, but please...support me and don't try to change my mind."

"That's right Leah, I do understand. I know what it's like to long for a child that you carried nine months and held in your arms, only to never be a part of his life. Never to hear him call you Mama, never to watch him sleep in the night, to know that he is growing into a fine man. No...my child calls someone else Mama. It's her he runs to when he's scared. It's her that will hold my grandchildren, not me. I understand, Leah...maybe that's why I have urged you not to repeat my mistake." Rachel softened, as her own tears started.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Rachel," Leah consoled.

"I guess this all hits so close to home, Leah. I am several years older and I realize that sometimes I tend to mother you, but I just fear what losing this child will do to you." Rachel reached and held Leah's hand.

"Rachel, I've held him close, I've heard him call me Mama, I've felt his sweet kisses on my cheek. I've had more time than some mothers get with their babies. I have to put Heath first. I can no longer watch illness after illness take over his little body because I cannot afford medicine to truly make him well. He needs clothes, proper meals, and milk any time he wants it, not a few times a week. A boy needs his father. There are things I can't teach him. If I must...only if I must leave him with Tom, then that's what I must do. Just as you left your Michael to his father all those years ago, you knew, as I know now...it's what's best." Leah's words held such strong conviction.

Rachel smiled, though her eyes were still tear filled.

"Leah, you're a strong woman and I'll stand by your decision."

Their tender moment was interrupted as they both heard a rider at a distance.

"Oh, who would be out on a night like this? Where is that gun Mr. Jenkins gave us for the trip?" Rachel questioned.

"I'm sure whoever is coming might be wondering the same thing about us. Didn't we put that gun under the seat somewhere? Slow down and I'll try to find it. You're not going to use it...are you?" Leah wondered in disbelief.

Rachel tried to get the horse to come to a smooth stop, but the muddy road was slick causing the buggy to shift sending it sideways and then coming to a halt as the left rear wheel hit something causing it to break. The threesome found themselves dumped onto the road, first Rachel, then Leah on top of her. The motion caused Heath to be jolted from Leah's grip sending him several feet beyond their location.

"Rachel, where's Heath!? Oh, dear God, he has to be okay!" Leah cried out.

The two women struggled to get untangled, their hands and clothing covered in mud. Leah was first to hear Heath crying. She made her way to him. Finding him, she gently turned him over and tried to wipe some of the mud from his face.

"Oh Heath, Mama's here. You're okay, shhh it's gonna be all right," she soothed as she picked up her son and held him close.

"Leah, quickly get back over here by the buggy. The rider is very close." Rachel hurried the young mother. Rachel didn't want them to be separated when the rider approached.

"Give me a minute, Rachel. I need to calm him." Leah wouldn't be rushed.

"You can do that here with me, now please, hurry," Rachel urged.

Leah carried Heath toward the damaged buggy, joining Rachel as they waited. Rachel picked up the gun and pointed it in the direction of the stranger as Leah fussed with Heath, who was still crying.