"My God! He shot me I can't believe he shot me." Heath thought in total disbelief.

The dark haired man hiding behind the table was ready when the blond man kicked opens the door. He saw the fair-haired stranger start to raise his gun arm. Without a second thought he shot and watched as his enemy's gun dropped from his hand. When his foe hit the floor he crawled over to where the other man's gun had fallen. He wanted to make sure that the wounded man could not reach it. He reached out and picked up the gun. His hands began to shake when he noticed an eagle on the handle of the gun. He sat frozen, staring at the gun.

"Okay, drop your weapons and kick them over here nice and easy." Nick ordered as he entered the kitchen.

Nick had just reached the steps of the house when he heard the gun shot. As he cautiously entered the kitchen he saw Heath lying on his side in a pool of blood. A dark haired man knelt on the floor holding Heath's gun. A woman sat by the window holding a riffle. Nick ordered both the man and woman to kick over their weapons to him.

The woman was the first to drop the weapon she held and kick it over to Nick. The man placed both his gun and Heath's on the floor as he stood up. He then slowly kicked the guns in Nick direction. As he kicked over Heath's gun he said. "I've see that gun before."

"You should have seen it before. You bought it for him on his last birthday. You just shot your brother, Jarrod." Nick snapped as he bent down and picked up the weapons. He emptied them of their ammunition.

At Nick's words Jarrod's memories started to flood back. Jarrod remembered the very first day that Heath arrived at the ranch. He remembered watching out the window of a train as a young cowboy on a little Modoc pony raced and beat a train. He remembered the same young man riding up to the ranch house to ask for work. He remembered Nick not wanting to hire this man and having to convince his brother to do so. He remembered the face of the angry young man, as he fought for acceptance into the family that night when Nick dragged him into the study of the mansion and forced him to reveal who he was. He remembered how the blond's blue eyes showed the pain of dejection when Jarrod placed a handful of money into his shirt pocket and told him to hit the road. How the offended man took the money offered him from his pocket and placed it into a glass of whiskey. Then with a half smile and slight wave walked out of the mansion. Jarrod also remembered watching as the young blond rode up to the neighbor's ranch to take his place along side his brothers in the battle against the railroad. Then Jarrod saw the dark blue eyes of the same young man shine with appreciation as he opened a box containing a gun with an eagle etched into the handle.

"Oh my God! What have I done?" Jarrod cried as the realization of what he done sank in. He fell to his knees on the floor as he buried his head in his hands.

Once Nick had removed the ammunition from the weapons, he walked to where his younger brother lay on the floor. He knelt down beside his blond brother and rolled him onto his back, which caused the injured man gasped out in pain. Nick tried to remove Heath's hands from the wound, but the wounded man only clutched at his side harder.

"It's okay Heath let me see." Nick pleaded as he pried Heath's hands away. Heath finally allowed Nick to remove his hands.

"It's bad isn't it, Nick." Heath gasped in pain.

"I'm afraid so, but you will be okay. We got to get you to a doctor." Nick answered.

"Our doctor left yesterday and will not be back for at least two days. The next nearest doctor is fifty miles away." The woman said.

She stared at the young man lying on the floor in his own blood. She saw the worried expression of the brother who knelt beside him. She realized that in her desperation to keep Jarrod from remembering who he was she had caused him to almost kill his own bother. She did not know if she could live with herself for what she had done, but she now knew that she had to do anything required of her to help save this mans life.

"Why should I believe you?" Nick spat at the woman. He did not understand how Jarrod could have shot Heath, but he had a feeling that this woman was behind it.

"Because it is the truth." The woman answered.

"Nick, you will have to remove the bullet." Heath gasped out though clenched teeth.

"I can't, I could kill you."

"If the bullet isn't removed I will probably die any ways. There is no way I can make it fifty miles and you know it." Heath tried to convince his older brother that it was the only way.

"Yeah! You are right. There is no other choice." Nick said as he ran his hands through his dark hair. He looked up at the woman.

"I'll need some whiskey, boiling water, sheets to make bandages and a knife sterilized in the fire." He ordered. The dark angry look on his face told the woman that she better not cause trouble. Though she did not plan to.

"I don't have any whiskey or any other type of alcohol in the house, but I will get you the other things." She stammered as she turned to get the things that he requested.

"Nothing to kill the pain. Oh great! This day just gets better and better." Nick said through gritted teeth as he ran his hands through his hair again. He turned back to Heath as he mentally tried to prepare himself for the task ahead. He glanced over to where Jarrod knelt on the floor in a state of self-hate.

'Jarrod how could you do this.' Nick's mind screamed out. He desperately wanted to understand what happened today, but he could not.

"Here are the knife and sheets." The woman's voice brought Nick out of his deep thoughts.

Nick shook his head as he wiped the sweat from his brow. The dark haired cowboy had removed bullets before, but never from one of his brothers and never from the stomach area. He knew that one wrong move on his part could finish what Jarrod started.

"Oh God! Help me." Nick prayed as he turned back to Heath.

Nick ripped his brother's shirt away from the wound. He dipped a cloth into the warm water that the woman had brought him. He washed away as much blood as he could from the wound, which caused Heath to inhale with pain.

"I am afraid this is going to hurt. There is nothing I can give you for the pain." Nick apologized as he looked into the pain filled eyes of his blond brother. He wished that Heath would pass out.

"Just do it." Heath said through gritted teeth.

Nick again wiped the sweat from his brow as he picked up the knife. His hands started to shake as he held the knife. He closed his eyes took three deep breaths as he tried to calm his nerves. His brother's life depended on him; he had to pull himself together.

Nick took one more deep breath, opens his eyes and began removing the bullet. He dug around in Heath's side searching for where the bullet was lodged. His brother's face winced in pain at every movement he made with the knife, but the injured man held still. Finally the knife hit the bullet and Nick pulled it out.

After Nick removed the bullet he took a shell of ammunition, knocked off the cap, emptied the contents into the wound, lit a match and set the gunpowder on fire. When he set the gunpowder on fire Heath bucked, screamed out in agony and slipped into a blessed pain free darkness. Nick then took the sheets the woman brought him and bandaged the wound.

"Where is a bed I can take him to?" He snapped at the woman.

"There is a room upstairs. Follow me." She answered.

Jarrod had been kneeling on the floor in a daze ever since he started remembering who he was and who the blond man he just shot was. The loud agonizing scream snapped him out of his daze. He watched as his dark haired brother wrapped the wound on Heath's side. When Nick started to lift their younger brother off the floor to carry him to the room, he went over to help.

"Get the hell away from him Jarrod." Nick snapped at his older brother as his dark eyes burned with anger and hate. "You could have killed him. He still might die. I don't need your help."

"You could hurt him more by trying to move him by yourself. Please let me help." Jarrod pleaded. The eldest Barkley brother desperately needed to be by Heath. He needed to feel the younger man's heartbeat to assure himself that his brother was not dead.

Nick nodded his head realizing that Jarrod was right. He did need help to move Heath to the room. Not wanting to cause his younger brother any more damage he allowed his older brother to assist him. They carried their injured brother as they followed the woman upstairs to a room where they laid him on the bed.

Once they had made Heath comfortable Nick grabbed Jarrod and threw him up against the wall. "How could you do this? He is your brother and you could have killed him." He screamed

"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think it is eating me up inside? But I swear when he burst into the room I didn't know that it was him, hell I didn't even know who I was. There are those who are trying to run these folks of their land. That is what I believed you two where here to do. I was helping Libby defend her land. It wasn't until I saw his gun that I remember who I am, who he is." Jarrod cried

"Damn it Jarrod, you should have known. Deep down inside you should have known that pulling that trigger was wrong. We told you who we were. Why did you not believe us?" Nick asked.

"I don't know. We thought it was a trick to get us to let our guard down. Libby told me some men where by earlier who threatened her. She told me that you were the same men." Jarrod explained.

"We were by earlier. We were looking for you. She told us that she never saw you. But we noticed her mending a shirt of yours, so we came back. She lied to us and she lied to you. Because of her lies Heath may die and if he does you have killed your own brother." Nick spat out between gritted teeth.

Jarrod slid down the wall to sitting position on the floor, placed his head between his legs and wept. At seeing the obvious pain his older brother was in, Nick softened. He knelt down and put an arm around his guilt-ridded brother's shoulders.

"Don't worry Jarrod, he will pull through. He has been in worst shape and survived. A little bullet won't stop him." Nick tried to console his brother.

"Oh God! I hope you are right, but how am I ever going to face him. How can I ever make him understand when I don't even understand?" Jarrod cried as he pushed Nick away, stood up and staggered out of the room. He had to find Libby. He had to ask her why?

Nick watched as his emotionally tortured brother exited the room. Then he turned and looked at the pale face of his younger brother. Oh how he wished he would wake up to discover that this was all a really bad nightmare, but he knew that would not happen.

"Oh God please let them both be alright." Nick prayed.

Jarrod went down stairs where he found Libby in the living room. She was sitting on the sofa with her arms rapped around herself. She was crying as she rocked herself back and forth.

"Why, Libby?" Jarrod asked.

Libby looked up into his pain-etched face. "How is he?" She asked.

"He is still alive, no thanks to you or me. Why did you do it? Why did you lie?" He demanded.

Libby looked at her feet and her body trembled as she spoke. "I was tired of raising my son alone. I wanted you stay. I thought if you never recovered you memory you would stay with me."

She closed her eyes and swallowed deeply before she continued. "When your brothers showed up I knew they would take you away. I love you so much; I did not want to lose you."

"You love me!" He screamed as he roughly grabbed her arms, lifted her off the sofa, held her so her face was only a few inches from his and shook her.

"Out of love you told me my brothers were enemies. Out of love you convinced me to shoot my own brother. You are not a woman. YOU ARE THE DEVIL." Jarrod threw Libby across the room. He was approaching her with his arm raised to strike her when Nick stepped in front of him.

"She is not worth it Jarrod." Nick said as he grabbed his brother's arm.

When Nick heard Jarrod yelling he came down stairs to see what was going on. He saw his older brother toss the woman across the room and approach her ready to strike. He saw the uncontrolled fury in his angry brother's face as he stepped between Jarrod and the woman. He grabbed his enraged brother's upraised arm and held it tight.

Jarrod saw the frighten woman lying on the floor where he had thrown her. He saw his upraised hand that Nick held. Never in his life had he even thought of hitting a woman, but today if his brother had not stopped him he would have used his fists to beat this woman. He might have even killed her. Jarrod pulled out of Nick's grasp, and then walked out of the room.

Nick turned to the woman. "I suggest that you stay out of our way until Heath is well enough to travel."

"That won't be a problem Mister. I plan on taking my son and leaving as soon as possible. I don't care what happens to this land anymore. I pray your brother will be all right. I am so sorry for what I have done." Libby tried to apologize.

"Sorry ma'am isn't enough for what you've done." Nick spat vehemently as he turned to follow Jarrod.

Libby stood watching the tall cowboy leave the room as tears streamed down her face. Then she went to prepare to leave.

Nick found Jarrod in the kitchen kneeling by the bloodstain on the floor. Nick knelt down and put his arms around his brother's shoulders. He could feel his brother's shoulders shaking with grief.

"It will be alright Jarrod." Nick tried to console his brother.

"No it won't. I shot my own brother. I almost hit a woman. Oh God! What have I become?" Jarrod cried out in agony. Nick did not know what to say or do to make things better.

Nick helped his guilt-ridden brother up off the floor, led him to a room next to where their injured brother lay sleeping, removed his brother's boots and helped him into bed. Nick had just pulled the covers over Jarrod when he heard Heath scream.

Nick raced to the room where Heath was. As the concerned brother entered the room he saw Heath thrashing around in the bed.

"No, Jarrod don't shoot. It's me Heath your brother. Jarrod, NO! Oh God! He shot me. I can't believe he shot me. Oh God! It hurts. Nick, help me." Heath screamed over and over as he relived the event in his dreams.

"Heath! It's Nick. You are safe." Nick said as he tried to wake his frantic brother. As soon as he touched the younger man's arm he felt the radiating heat.

Nick raced down stairs, pumped some cold water into a pan, grabbed a dishtowel, headed back to his brother's room and began his battle with the fever that racked his younger brother's body. He kept sponging Heath down with cold water all night until mid morning the next day when the fever finally broke. When the blond man fell into a deep healing sleep, Nick sighed with relief as he placed his face in his hands and thanked God.

Jarrod, who had been emotionally drained, slept late that morning. As soon as he had awakened he went to check on Heath. "How is he?" He asked Nick as he entered the room.

Jarrod's voice startled Nick out of his silent prayer. Nick looked up to see the concern written on Jarrod's face. "It was touch and go last night, but I think he'll be alright."

"You go get some rest. I'll stay with him." Jarrod offered.

"No. I don't think that is a good idea. I don't think you should be the first person he sees. There is no way to know how he will react to your presence."

Nick stopped talking when he saw the pained expression on his older brother's face. "I am sorry Jarrod."

"You are right. He probably won't want to see me." Jarrod said as he left the room. He was relieved to hear that his brother would survive, but would their relationship survive. He wondered if Heath would ever be able to forgive him.

Heath dreamt he was running away form someone with a gun. He was trapped, so he turned to face his pursuer. He saw the man raise the gun and pull the trigger. As the bullet tore into Heath side, the face of his assassin became clear. It was Jarrod. He cried out as he awoke with a start. He was in a cold sweat and panted heavily as he tried to catch his breath.

Nick had fallen asleep in the chair by Heath's bed, but awoke at his younger brother's cry. He saw the horror written all over his blond brother's face. Nick approached the bed.

"It’s okay Heath. You are safe." Nick spoke softly trying to calm Heath down.

"Oh Nick! I just had the worst dream. I dreamt that Jarrod shot me." Heath told Nick.

Nick closed his eyes not knowing how to answer. Heath saw the pained expression on his brother's face and felt the burning pain in his side as the events of previous day flooded back.

"Oh God! It wasn't a dream was it? Jarrod tried to kill me. Why would he want to kill me?" Heath asked as he frantically searched Nick's face with dark blue eyes that were filled with confused terror.

"Jarrod did not know it was you when he shot you. He thought you were a hired gun who had come to run these people off her land." Nick tried to explain.

"How could he not know it was me?" Heath asked.

"He had amnesia. He did not even know who he was. The woman who found him convinced him that we were here to hurt them. It wasn't until he saw the gun that he gave you that he remembered who he is and who you were. He has been devastated ever since he learned what he did."

Heath listened to Nick's explanation of what had happened. He turned away from his older brother. As he stared at the wall his mind raced with thoughts. Jarrod had shot him, but hadn't realized when he done so that he was shooting his own brother. What if it had been Nick who burst through the door instead of him? Would have Jarrod remembered sooner? Even if Jarrod did not remember right away, would have something deep inside of him kept him from pulling the trigger when he saw Nick?

Heath could not understand how his oldest brother could have pulled the trigger. Did it mean that deep down Jarrod did not consider him a brother? Was the bond that he thought he had with his older brother not real?

"Heath." Nick said as he shook Heath's arm.

When his younger brother finally looked at him Nick asked. "Jarrod would like to see you, would that be alright?"

"NO!" Heath said louder than he meant to. "Not now."

"Then when Heath?" Nick asked.

"I don't know, but not now. I am tired and want to go to sleep. Just leave me alone." Heath said as he pulled the blankets up around his neck. The confused man closed his eyes as he tried to make sense of what had happened.

When Jarrod heard his blond brother cry out he went to see if Nick needed his help. He stood outside the bedroom door listening while Nick tried to explain what had happened to their wounded brother. The lawyer could hear the fear and confusion in his blond brother's voice. The knowledge that his younger brother feared him tore through Jarrod's heart like a knife.

Jarrod remembered how hard it had been for Heath to learn to trust his new family when he had first arrived at the ranch. He had been Heath's rock through the stormy first months when Nick refused to accept the new brother. Heath had learned that he could trust the lawyer for sound advice on any problem that he was having. Now Jarrod had shattered that trust. Would his blond brother ever be able to trust him again?

Nick excited the room and placed a hand on Jarrod's shoulder. "Give him time Jarrod. He needs time to think over everything that has happened. When he is ready he'll talk to you."

Jarrod smiled weakly at his younger brother as he said. "What if he is never ready? What if he can never forgive me? How can I expect him to when I can't even forgive myself?"

"He will forgive you. He forgave me for all the times I picked a fight with him." Nick said

"This is different and you know it Nick." Jarrod snapped as he glared at his younger brother.

Nick looked down at his feet as he realized that his attempt to lighten the mood failed miserably. "Yeah, I know." He mumbled.

They remained at the house while Heath grew stronger. On the third day after the shooting Nick walked into the room to find the blond man out bed and getting dressed.

"Where do you think you are going?" Nick asked.

"I am going home." Heath answered as he struggled to pull on his boots.

"You are in no condition to be riding a horse all the way to Stockton." Nick rebuked his younger brother.

"Well I am not staying in this place one more day. I am going home. Are you coming?" Heath answered. He picked up his gun belt as he headed for the door. As the injured man reached the door his knees buckled beneath him. Nick caught him just before he hit the floor.

"See you are in no condition to be going anywhere." Nick said as he tried to lead Heath back to the bed, but Heath refused.

"I won't stay here any longer." He said as his eyes pleaded with Nick to get him out of this place.

"All right I will send Jarrod into town to buy a wagon. You just lay back down in this bed while we prepare for us to leave." Nick pleaded.

Nick understood perfectly well why Heath wanted to get out of this place. He wanted nothing more than put as much distance between them and this place as well. After he helped his reluctant brother back into the bed, Nick went to tell Jarrod to go get a wagon form town.

When Jarrod returned with the Wagon, they made a bed for their blond brother to lie on during the trip home. When they had the wagon ready Nick went to get Heath.

Heath leaned heavily on his tall brother as they made their way to the wagon. When they reached the wagon Jarrod helped Nick get their wounded brother into the wagon. Heath did not pull away from eldest brother's touch, but the lawyer felt the muscles of the blond man tense.

Once Heath settled in the wagon, Nick tied Cocoa and Charger behind the wagon. Then he jumped up to driver's seat and commanded the horses forward. Jarrod rode behind the wagon on Jingo as they headed home.

They traveled slowly with Nick stopping frequently to check on his injured brother. That night they stopped by a creek where they set up camp. Heath was trying to let on that he was fine, but his brothers could tell that the trip was taking its toll on him.

...Continued