...Continued
Jarrod walked over to the corral where Nick was getting ready to saddle Charger. He was slowly being overcome with panic. He no longer had any control. His naïve plan had exploded into chaos and it’s power to destroy was unlike anything he had imagined. ‘If anything happens to Heath?’ Jarrod thought, ‘What? What will I do, how can I live with myself?’ Tears stung his eyes. He ran his hand across Heath's saddle. "You weren't coming home were you? You only came back to put out the fire. Not to come home or stay with us. Then, Heath, then what happened?" Afraid of the answer, he looked across and watched Nick tighten the saddle with red grieving eyes. Jarrod realized he’d spoken that out loud. He mounted his horse and Nick followed, leading Charger along with him toward the East Ridge. They rode that way not speaking between themselves, listening only to the sound of hoof beats bringing them closer to their brother.
Nick had passed Jarrod along the way and broke through the trees into the clearing of the firebreak first. He looked at the devastation. Trees were splintered, uprooted and charred. He saw a crew of men searching amid the ruins for some clue to his brother's presence. He tethered Coco and Charger and made his way slowly through the debris. There was so much ground to cover.
"Nick! Nick!" Jarrod called when he emerged from the trees.
Nick turned to Jarrod and with long hurried strides met this brother. Some of the other men approached as well.
"You Mr. Barkley?”
"Yes." They answered in tandem.
A large foreign man spoke. "I am Pollick." Jarrod nodded. He remembered signing the large man on. "There is bodies over there." He pointed to a gathering of men scouring a small area. "This all is very bad happening. I tell Heath much is not right here and now they are dead."
Nick shot Jarrod a look of fear, "Dead? Heath?" then he took off toward the area Pollick had shown The actual thought was beyond him.
"Nick!" Jarrod called after his brother. Nick kept running until he stood in front of the men. They had blankets covering what was left of the bodies.
"Come on." Nick called to his brother. Nick was beyond nervous and waited until Jarrod arrived to ask, "Anyone know these two men?”
"Pollick knows them. They are brothers, Aaron and Gil Condon. They try to kill mister Bentell and Heath save him and then Heath run after them and chase them away. Not far enough."
Nick and Jarrod cringed inwardly as the depth of their demands on Heath sunk in further.
"Heath?"
"We no find Heath. Maybe he leave like he wanted."
Nick shook his head. "Not without his horse."
"You wish him to leave?" asked Pollick.
"No! I don't wish him to leave. I want him to stay. We need to find him. I need, we need to find him. Keep looking. There has to be something around here." Nick rambled his orders loudly.
Jarrod sent two men to bring back a wagon. "Alright we need to spread out. Fire two shots if you come across another body and three if you find Heath, dead or alive."
Jarrod and Nick swallowed that thought. "You two men wait for the wagon. The rest of you keep on with your search. Jarrod and I will start near the big blast site. Bentell said he was with Heath when he got rid of the box of nitro.” They rode back to the area where the trees were not so much burned but shredded and strewn around a large hole.
"Damn it Jarrod, I knew we shoulda sent Bentell on his way."
"Nick don't put all this on me, you agreed to it. You told him he had to be the one to go."
Nick jumped from his saddle and pulled Jarrod from his horse. He grabbed him by the shirt and pressed him against his horse. "You know you can convince anyone of just about anything. You made Heath doubt what he'd seen with his own eyes. You have an unfair advantage and you need to be more careful the way you throw it around if you ever expect me to trust you again."
"Nick!"
"What the hell were you thinking Jarrod throwing him at Bentell's feet? Why the hell didn't I stop you, or Mother? What the hell kind of family are we? We’d better find him Jarrod, and for your sake and mine, he'd better be alive."
"He agreed as well."
"I don't care if he did. Hell, I shoulda let him kill Bentell that first day. I shoulda given him my gun. I shoulda been the one to shoot him. I shoulda been there for my brother."
Jarrod couldn't believe what Nick was saying. "Nick, you don't mean that."
"The hell I don't, Jarrod. I don't know why I listen to you sometimes. This was wrong and I knew it, I felt it, but I hoped…, I wanted. God I wanted the war, the nightmares to end for him."
"Nick?”Jarrod wasn’t sure what Nick was referring to.
"Shut up. I don't want to hear anything you have to say right now. Heath was leavin' and he came back to save a few stupid trees for us and now he's gone. Bentell knows more than he's lettin' on. What if he killed those men up there? What if he..... Heath? Where is he?"
"We'll find him."
"Bentell?"
"There will be an investigation. I've sent for the sheriff."
"He'll have to pay for this?"
"For what? Pollick said the Condons were trying to kill him."
"Just stop defending him for once Jarrod. You just don't get it, do you?"
"Nick.."
"Jarrod, I don't want to hear it. Let me think. He was here. He and Bentell laid the nitro."
"That was yesterday."
"He was here. Something happened and the Condons died and Heath was here too. I'm gonna start looking here."
Jarrod stayed and searched with his brother. It was with the last light of day that Nick found Heath's tattered hat at the base of a tree on the edge of an embankment. "Jarrod! Jarrod!" Nick held out the hat as evidence.
"We need more men." Nick fired three shots. The men who had been charged with bringing a wagon and recovering the bodies were returning with them to camp when they heard the shots. They were closest and arrived first. The rest funneled in from every direction. "We need every man to search with us. “You," Nick pointed to the driver, “take care of them bodies, and send the wagon back with provisions and every torch and lantern there is.”
Nick paced a long stretch of the creek bed and watched the color be replaced by grey then black before a string of lights approached through the trees. They searched for hours before giving up to get a few hours sleep. The next day they had better luck. They found footprints and bits of cloth snagged by spiny brush. The searchers called his name and followed a very winding and cleverly disguised trail. Nick was frustrated with Heath's efforts to evade them and finally told the men to stop calling for him and to grab him if they found him, even if he fought back. Nick condemned himself for that order but could not live without finding his brother. “Just don’t hurt him and be careful, he’s strong and he’ll try an’ trick ya. We’re close now. Let’s not lose him.” Heath was hurt and Nick sensed his fear. It was dangerous. Heath wasn’t afraid to die, he was afraid of living in hell. A nightmare he had ignored too often.
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Heath woke up again unsure of where he was or what had happened. He did know he was running. He knew the feeling of escape and it consumed him. He wove frantically from one hiding place to the next. He didn't know how long he slept or how many days he'd been free. He didn't feel free being chased by those men with lanterns. He'd awoken more than once to find himself lying flat out in the open with the light of a flame nearly upon him.
Heath crept along a ridge until he found a hollow in the rock. A thicket hid it well. He crawled into it unaware of the branches scratching his face, arms and back. He needed rest and refuge from the coming day. He tried to put the pieces back together. He remembered the shots firing and the sound of men dying. Heath began to shake. It was so dark in the tunnel. He felt hands pushing him along the narrow passageway but he couldn't move. The men ahead of him were trapped and couldn't leave the tunnel. He pressed his back against the rock wall and prepared to wait out the day.
He hadn't escaped then. Only eighteen men left the tunnel that night instead of fifty. Eighteen were dead and the plan had failed. Heath wondered how he had become free. Had those men really died? Maybe Bentell stopped them and they found another way.
Heath shook his head trying to clear it. No he was free, he made it out, somehow, somewhere he was free and Bentell’s men were after him. They would chase him forever. His mind was jumbled. All any of the prisoners wanted was a chance, a chance to be free and they were all willing to die for that chance. The day was gone and Heath felt the pain in his body. He hadn’t slept, he’d been unconscious. He was not safe, he was hurt and he’d heard the guards. If they’d had dogs he’d be dead by now. The thought crossed his mind as it had so often in that hellhole, whether he’d be better off dead? He’d seen many men finally surrender to it and death seemed to take them peacefully.
It was night again and Heath was climbing higher. They'd seen him once or twice. He wasn’t sure but he remembered running blindly with his arms outstretched through the forest. He remembered the fear of being caught and a long, shrill, scream that radiated from the base of his skull and pierced his eyes. He was never going back alive. Never allow that man to hurt him again. He had to make it so the others would have hope, keep trying, and have a reason to live. He had to escape Bentell's prison.
Heath had fooled the guards who chased him, again. He ran wildly through the trees and brush, his heart was beating like the drum of the march. He doubled back and climbed higher into mountains.
Three shots fired. Nick and Jarrod hurried through the dark forest toward the sound that could change their lives forever. As they neared the area they could hear shouts and yelling. A handful of men were only visible as dots of light flickering between trees. One man stood still and the anxious brothers dismounted. “Where is he?”
“We saw him runnin’, screamin’, he was faster’n a jackrabbit and just as wild. Then we lost him. He disappeared right around here somewhere, not a half hour or so ago.”
“Damn it Heath stop running from me.” Nick ran his right hand through his hair and then scrubbed his eyes.
“Nick, maybe he’s hurt, not thinking clearly?” Jarrod consoled his brother. He worried what would happen if he lost Heath one way or the other? Could the family survive the loss? He doubted Nick would. They had become close. Closer than Jarrod could imagine being with another person. There were no walls between them anymore. Only trust. Jarrod realized what Nick had given up in going along with the plan and that he had the most to lose. Nick had put his trust in him instead of Heath. And Jarrod had not considered the dire consequences. He took that trust without a thought other than to use it to set his plan in motion. To pass his bill. To win the argument. Now he stood to lose two brothers no matter how it turned out.
“Maybe he’s hurt, did you see the Condons? And maybe he’s thinking very clearly.” Nick spoke the latter softly, almost in defeat.
Jarrod held Nick’s shoulder firmly. He could feel the tension and trembling from strain. He gave it a solid squeeze. “Alright men lets find our brother and bring him back this time.”
Nick didn’t pull away and accepted the comfort. Jarrod released his grip and clapped Nick on the back. “Come on Nick let’s find our brother.” Jarrod wanted Nick to allow him that. Allow that he call Heath brother despite what he had done. It was important. Nick saw the love and regret Jarrod now wore and nodded. Tears stung their eyes. Nick broke the moment and mounted Coco. He took Charger’s reins and lead Charger along side as always, back the way he had come. Jarrod followed without a word for a short while. “Nick he was headed the other way.”
“Then no one would be looking for him here, right.” Nick dismounted and tethered both horses loosely to a tree.
“Right.” Jarrod dismounted as well.
“We need to spread out but stay where you can see my lantern.” Nick spoke as if he was talking to a stranger.
Jarrod nodded and they disappeared from one another into the pitch beneath the trees.
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Heath’s chest was tight. He could feel their presence. No matter where he turned, they followed. Why didn’t they give up? Surely he was far enough away by now. How long had he been running? It seemed like years. He felt a strap against his leg. Why did he have a gun? He still felt the blows from the latest beating. His whole body was on fire and he ached everywhere. His head was ready to explode. He remembered an explosion. No there was a fire, Bentell, Gil. Why were they at a fire? Was the prison on fire? Had it been burned? Was the war over? Why were they chasing him? Heath sat down against a tree and tried to remember. He’d only rested a minute he thought when he heard a snap and saw a very faint grey, like a fog in the dark had appeared around him. Dawn approached. “They’re here.” He panicked and ran.
“Heath! Heath! it’s me, Nick. Your brother, Heath Stop.” Nick kept up with Heath who was running for his life. But so was Nick. He fired no shots. He didn’t want to spook Heath anymore than he already was. Nick knew something was terribly wrong. Jarrod heard the shouting and followed, becoming further and further from his younger brothers as Nick’s voice carried ever more softly through the dawn.
Heath ran until he collapsed. He rolled and lay flat against the ground. He worked to calm his ragged breathing that broke through the silent night. ‘Where were they?’ He waited, but the silence continued and darkness was deserting him.
“Heath, Heath.” Nick called over and over not wanting to scare him. It was becoming lighter and he’d chased his brother’s shadow for miles. His throat was raw and his lungs on fire. Nick bent at the waist and breathed deeply. His legs shook and threatened to fold. “Heath!”
Heath tensed when he heard it. The voice was raw and desperate and somehow Heath knew this was his only chance. He came out of hiding with his gun drawn.
“Stay back.” Heath appeared walking slowly and saw he was backed up by the edge of the ridge. Sweat beaded and ran down his temples.
Nick stood frozen. “Heath.” He’d found his brother and still couldn’t say what Heath needed to hear. He didn’t know where to start. Heath was alive and he didn’t see much other than the scrapes he had collected himself. “Hey.” He waited for some sign but nothing was offered.
Heath looked over the edge of the ridge. It wasn’t too steep. He could jump and make for the trees below. “Don’t move.”
Nick saw the blood when Heath looked over the edge. He knew right away what Heath was thinking. “Heath, we aren’t going to hurt you. Come on away from the edge there.” Nick was frantic. He realized Heath hadn’t called him by name. “Please Heath, it’s me Nick don’t cha remember? Heath I’m your brother.” Now the tears came. “Please.”
“If you ain’t gonna hurt me then leave me be. Git on outta here.” Heath waved his gun and edged toward the rim.
“Come on Heath? I just found you I ain’t gonna leave and I ain’t gonna hurt you. You gotta know that. Trust me.” Nick choked on his lie. “Please.”
Heath shook his head. Images and memories came alive. “I know you.” Memories flooded him without ordered reason. He became dizzy and staggered for balance. “I know you.”
“Heath,” Nick held his hands in surrender while Heath still held him at gunpoint. “Come away from there. Heath. It’s me, Nick.” Nick inched his way closer. Recognition danced in Heath’s eyes briefly before they rolled up inside his head. Nick’s gut tensed and he saw Heath begin to fall. “NOOoo!” Nick screamed. He raced toward his brother and dove to catch him before he disappeared. “HEATH! Nick grasped an arm with both hands. “Heath!” His brother was a dead weight and slipping through his fingers. “Heath!” Nick tried to cough the lump out of his throat.
Nick heard footsteps approach at a run. “Jarrod, hurry up, I can’t hold him.” Jarrod slid in beside Nick and grabbed Heath by the shirt. They pulled him up over the edge.
Jarrod straightened Heath out on the ground. Nick didn’t move or let go. Heath became restless and his breathing was ragged as he fought to wake. His eyes opened and he started to sit up. Jarrod pushed him flat. “Let me see where you’re hurt.” Heath didn’t bother to respond, it wouldn’t have mattered. They would have continued to touch him anyway. He couldn’t help but tense at the unwanted intrusion. Jarrod noticed and so did Nick. “I’m sorry.” Jarrod replied. Heath closed his eyes and left them with his body. He remembered how easy that was and soon found himself at his mother’s side in the kitchen of their home. The smell of bread with sugar occupied his mind.
Jarrod felt the lump on Heath’s head. He hadn’t found anything broken, but was surprised by the number of dark rings on his clothes that had soaked up the blood and liquid that oozed from the wounds beneath. “He’s got a good fever going, no doubt from all these wounds. It looks like he took a shotgun blast loaded with rocks and wood chips. The back of his head is swollen. I don’t know how bad it is.”
Nick nodded. “Is he awake?”
Jarrod shook his head. “I don’t know. He’s pretty sick. We need to get him to a doctor.”
“Heath,” Nick leaned over Heath’s face and called his name sternly. When Heath did not respond Nick shook his arm. “Come on, Heath, I know you’re in there.” He tapped his hand against Heath’s face.
Jarrod watched emotions play across Nick’s face. “Let him rest. He may not know it’s us.”
Nick put his hand on Heath’s chest. “Maybe he does Jarrod, and that’s why he won’t open his eyes? He saw me. He said he knew me.”
“Let him rest. He has a fever and the biggest knot I’ve ever felt on his head. It’ll be alright now. We have him and we’ll bring him home. Just let him rest.” Jarrod stood up. “I’ll get the horses; we can make it home by evening.”
“What about the men?”
“I’ll fire three shots once I’m back at the horses. Maybe I’ll be far enough away that Heath won’t hear them.” Jarrod gave a concerned look. “I’ll leave word with the first man in,”
After Jarrod left, Nick leaned close to his younger brother. He didn’t want Heath to rest until he’d acknowledged him. “Hey, come on little brother, we’re gonna get you home and in bed soon. Doc Merar will get you fixed up good as new.” Nick continued to offer soft reassurances hoping to bring his brother back.
The voice was familiar. Safe. Words began to filter through the wall he’d put between them. He opened his eyes and stared.
“Hey,” Nick smiled.
“I won’t go back, I can’t, you don’t understand.” Heath shoved Nick’s hand from his chest and grimaced at a whole host of aches and pains.
Nick leaned closer and Heath pushed up on his elbows and stared back. He worked his way up into a standing position pushing at Nick’s helpful hands and ignoring his warnings. Nick didn’t want to go through this again. At least there was nowhere to fall but at his feet.
“I don’t wonna fight you Heath, you got a fever. Come on now just stay put. You’re in no condition to go anywhere and I ain’t leavin’, Heath. I swear it. Now settle back down. Let me help you.”
“Don’t.” Heath looked ready to run.
“Heath, I promise, I won’t hurt you.” “Nick stepped toward him and Heath crouched ready to fight. “Go away,” Heath snarled like a trapped animal.
“Don’t get yer fur up, I ain’t gonna hurt ya.”
“Then leave.”
“No!”
“Why not?” Heath grabbed his head and pulled his hand back at the contact of the swollen lump. His eyes glazed over and he fell. Nick caught him.
“Nick?” Heath’s voice was the sound of betrayal. Strained and distant.
“Yeah, it’s me.” Nick admitted to every nuance.
“What are you doing here?” Heath thought he’d had a grasp of what was going on but it began to make no sense again.
Nick pulled Heath to his chest and held him close. “Came to find you Heath, bring you home.”
“Home?” He relaxed briefly in the safety of those arms. “What happened? Fire? Bentell was there. I escaped.”
“Heath.” Nick turned his head as if to look for Jarrod. He was unable to stand the look in Heath’s eyes.
“I didn’t want to go home. It ain’t my home. I was leavin’, still am.” Heath said almost surprised at his own words and pushed out of the embrace. Still too dizzy to stand Heath rolled away and stared into the rising sun.
“I know Heath, I’m sorry, you’ll see, we’ll get you home and all fixed up good as new.” Nick ran his hand along his brother’s arm. The dirty wounds seeping through his clothes were becoming frighteningly more visible.
“I’ll never be good as new Nick and I can’t pretend either. I can’t go back with ya.” Heath was resigned to that course of action.
“That ain’t true. Listen you just need a doctor.” Nick rolled Heath onto his back so Heath could see the sincerity and love that was in him.
“I’ll get to a doctor in Walnut Grove.” Heath tried to roll away but Nick held him and took his face in his hands. Heath closed his eyes. It was too late. His heart was broken. Love and trust had been illusions and security a naive dream.
“There ain’t a doctor in Walnut Grove, nothin’ but a quack with magic elixirs.” Nick kept on, hoping Heath would have to give up soon. He had to be tiring.
“That’s all I ever had need of before, before I met ya. I ain’t hurt so bad that one of them witch doctors can’t handle it.” Heath’s head was beginning to ache terribly again and he squinted against the stabbing pain.
“Stockton isn’t that much farther.” Nick rubbed gentle circles around Heath’s shoulder. Nick figured Heath was running away from the blast when it hit. Lying on his back there were few wounds to notice but he realized lying that way had to hurt. He helped Heath back onto his side. “That better?”
“I still ain’t goin’ ta Stockton. My hearts not in it and neither is anyone else’s. I ain’t gonna fool myself and I sure as hell ain’t gonna let you fool me.” Heath’s voice softened. “Is he dead?”
“No he’s alive.” Nick no longer wanted to continue the discussion.
“Gil and Aaron were with me, where are they?” Heath pressed on.
“The Condons are dead.”
Heath closed his eyes. “All dead ‘cept me. Be easier the other way. I just wanted it to end.” Heath smiled. “I remember thinking the nitro could blow it all away.”
Nick didn’t like the sound of that. “Listen just rest ‘til Jarrod gets back with the horses.”
Heath closed his eyes and rested. Nick wondered what was taking Jarrod so long. Nick remembered the long night and wondered if Jarrod hadn’t got lost. They ran with only a shadow guiding them. They’d never looked back.
“Where are we?” Heath shook himself awake again, confused. Nick was somewhat relieved. Reality was too hard to explain.
“Nick?” Heath whispered. “What’re you doing here? Hey, they’ll kill you. Get outta here.” He struggled to rise.
Nick saw the same fear when he’d trapped Heath against the ledge. “Heath you’re not at Carterson!” Heath continued to struggle hard enough to open up some of the festering wounds. “HEATH, LOOK AT ME.”
Heath lay curled on the ground with his eyes closed. Nick cautiously took him in his arms again and was not pushed away. “I don’t feel good.” Nick turned him and held him waiting for the painful heaves that racked Heath’s body to end. “Í know little brother we’ll get you some help.”
Heath was able to fall asleep in Nick’s arms. That’s how Jarrod found them when he arrived. Heath woke at Charger’s familiar nicker. Jarrod dismounted in front of his brothers and gave Nick a questioning look. Heath scrambled upright. “Just want to go.”
He wavered and Jarrod caught his arm. “Well Heath I see you’re feeling better.”
“He ain’t feelin better. He’s ‘bout dead on his feet.” Nick growled .
Heath hugged Charger’s neck mostly for support. “Hey Boy. Glad you’re here, fella.” It took two bounces but Heath threw his leg over the saddle and leaned heavily to one side.
“Heath!” Nick pushed him upright.
“Let me ride with you. You’re gonna fall in a minute.” Nick couldn’t believe Heath was up and leaving.
“I told you I was leaving. Just leave me be Nick. I need some time to think. I’ll see a doctor. I ain’t so foolish as to think I don’t need one.
“You won’t make it to see one. You are a damn fool. Now git down or let me up.” Nick tugged at the reins holding Charger against Heath’s nudging.
Jarrod took hold of his arm. “Just wait. Give him some time and distance.”
Nick let go and watched Heath slowly ride away from him. “Why do I do that?” Nick pushed Jarrod away.
“Do what?”
“Trust you with him.” Nick mounted Coco.
This time Jarrod held the reins. “I doubt he’ll stay in the saddle very long.”
“And then?”
“Then we help him. Then we bring him home.” Jarrod took a deep breath. “Nick, I don’t know how to handle this. Right now he’s willing to die to avoid going home. You go, you decide what’s best for him. I already did my share of that.”
Nick let out a long breath. “I ain’t gonna let him go. I’ll go with him before I let him go.” Nick mounted his horse and followed Heath never letting him out of his sight.
Heath did fall from his horse and was lying flat on his back, eyes wide open after the jolt of his body against the ground startled him awake. He knew Nick and Jarrod were following and would be there to help him. He needed their help, but he didn’t want it. He wanted to forget so many things, one of which was that he’d thought he had brothers. He would rather have no family than be bound to them by unrequited love. Bentell had done what the railroad and every other obstacle couldn’t. Bentell had proven to him that he’d never be more than Tom Barkley’s ill conceived son. For months they had all pretended he was more to them than an obligation, but in the end that was all it was. Either he lived up to their set of standards or he wasn’t a true Barkley. He had failed in that and wished he’d never found out about his father.
Nick watched Heath sway in the saddle. He wanted to go to his brother’s side but Heath no longer wanted him there. So he waited. Heath slowly slumped forward. Nick nudged Coco faster and watched Heath fall to the ground. Nick jumped from his horse and ran. Heath had rolled on his side and Nick bent low to look him in the face. Heath stared back with defeated eyes. Nick felt pins pricking his neck and then his eyes. “Heath?” Nick took his younger brother in his arms and held him tight. “Heath, come on boy, come back. I’m sorry. Please.” His entreaty was full of heartache and guilt but Heath was a dead weight in his arms. He didn’t help when his brothers lifted him back into the saddle. He remained quiet and unresponsive when Nick settled behind him.
They rode steadily making sure Heath drank water to replenish what his rising fever stole. They were unnerved by his impassive eyes and lethargic body. Nick spoke quietly so only Heath would hear him. He still tried to get through the wall Heath was building. Only once or twice did Heath move or moan in response to the physical pain or the heartfelt apologies his brother offered softly in his ear as they made their way home. Nick held onto those brief moments and never gave up trying to bring Heath back.
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Jarrod went on toward town as they neared Stockton. He was going to bring Doctor Merar out to the house. Instead of relief, Nick began feeling nervous as they approached home. He wasn’t sure whether the tension he could feel building as the land became more familiar started with him or Heath. Heath hadn’t said one word in protest since falling off his horse but his muscles tightened and by the time the house came into sight Heath was no longer snuggled warmly in Nick’s arms but restless and confused. And Nick was having difficulty keeping him calm.
The hired men Nick had left to take care of the ranch, his Mother and Audra, were watching for their boss’s return and his long time foreman Sam Waters, quickly rang the fire bell before riding out with the others to meet Nick. Victoria and Audra Barkley had been anxiously waiting for three days and hadn’t needed to be alerted by the alarm. Victoria had been watching at the window and Audra relaxed in the parlor knowing her mother was keeping guard. Victoria saw her sons crest the bluff together on one horse. Heath was held to the saddle by Nick’s arms. They never broke pace as the men met them but Nick gave up Charger’s reins in order to hold Heath with both arms. The oncoming men gave ground and took up positions around them as Nick continued riding with a distraught and agitated brother into the yard.
Victoria ran to meet her sons with Audra on her heels. When she reached them, Victoria took Heath’s hand and felt him pull away almost imperceptibly. She held on despite the movement and waited for Nick to lower Heath into the arms of the waiting men. She never let go as the men brought her son upstairs. Audra took Nick’s arm and followed the men where they gently placed Heath on his bed. The men shuffled out uncomfortably at the unusual strain in the room. They had expected more joy at bringing Heath home alive and were surprised by the silence. Heath was awake, but said nothing. He rolled onto his side trying to pull out of his mother’s hold. Nick, Audra and Victoria didn’t know what to say. The space between them was momentarily too great for words to bridge. When the door downstairs closed Victoria ended the stillness. “Heath, Honey I’m so glad you’re home.” She stroked his face wiping at dry cheeks while her own ran with tears.
“Audra, get the bath ready.” Nick ordered too harshly.
Audra thrust her hands onto her hips waiting but a brief moment for an apology before deciding to let his tone pass. Her rigid stance relaxed and she went to do as she was told.
Nick was unbuttoning Heath’s shirt with one hand while keeping Heath from interfering with the other. Victoria still held the other hand. “No, don’t please. Leave me alone.” Heath’s eyes were glazed with fever and confusion. “Don’t want to be here, don’t want to be here.” He rambled repeatedly trying to free his hands.
“I’m sorry Heath.” Nick didn’t look his brother in the eye. “I need to get you cleaned up.” Nick continued undressing his brother.
Heath wrenched his hand from Victoria’s. “No.” Heath looked from Nick to his new mother in anger and fear. “Don’t touch me.” He grabbed his shirt and held it closed.
Nick took Heath’s face in his hands. He realized his brother was somewhere else again. “Heath you’re home, you’re safe.”
Heath furrowed his brow and looked around the room puzzled and shook his head. “No!” Heath tried to roll off the bed still clutching his shirt.
“Heath it’s Nick. Come on, come back it’s okay now.” Nick was nearly as frightened as Heath. His brother had been drifting from one life to the other and Nick feared the head wound and fever would not release him from that torment. He wanted his brother back in the world they’d had, the one without the war, without Bentell, without the past that was coming full circle and showing itself in the present. But he knew that was no longer possible. “Please come back.” The pain in his voice tore at his mother’s heart.
Heath continued his attempts to escape the hands stealing his clothes, but with Nick keeping him still, had no luck. Panic rose within him and with it nausea. Nick realized what was happening and turned him just in time. Victoria grabbed the washbasin and Heath retched painfully until he was drenched in sweat and shook violently with the strain it placed on his already weakened body. Nick left him curled on his side and ran a gentle hand along Heath’s back. Victoria rose and filled the still clean basin with water from the pitcher. She brought a towel with her when she returned to Heath’s side and wiped his brow knowing it was someone else’s touch causing the distress.
“Mother let me do this. No sense him being mad at the both of us.” Nick still wanted to protect his mother from Carterson. He had the feeling things were going to get even worse than the nightmares he’d become familiar with.
“It’s far too late for that Nick,” Victoria responded with self-recrimination. Heath seemed to relax and together they started again to unclothe him. Heath protested their actions and began fighting in earnest. “No, leave me alone. They’re mine. I found ‘em.” He was thrashing around in the bed making it difficult for Nick to hold on. Nick was startled by the strength of the fight Heath was still able to summon.
Audra came back from filling the bath in time to witness a full-out battle. “Leave him be Nick!” She rushed over and began pulling on Nick’s vest.
“Audra, please!” Victoria’s voice broke over the frenzied sounds of combat from her sons. “Go wait for Jarrod and the doctor downstairs.” She ordered. “We’re just trying to clean his wounds. That’s what’s causing his fever and confusing him.” Victoria only wished it was true.
Audra let go of Nick’s shirt and ran from the room as her tears began to fall. She hurried down the stairs and saw the door open. “Oh Jarrod,” she ran into his arms. “What happened? What’s wrong with him?”
“There’ll be plenty of time for that later.” Jarrod hugged her reassuringly. “How is he?”
Audra shook her head and pressed into his shoulder. “Where’s Doctor Merar?”
“Right behind me Honey. Don’t you worry.” Nick released a sharp cry of pain and pulled his hand from Heath’s mouth drawing Jarrod’s and Audra’s attention up the stairs. Nick shouted Heath’s name. There was a thud, the sound of a scuffle and then Heath flew half naked out of his room with Nick right behind and Victoria following at the rear. Jarrod started up the steps to cut them off. Heath didn’t even slow down and blasted right into Jarrod causing them to tumble down the rest of the stairs. Heath was pulling himself away from his stunned brother when Nick landed on top.
Audra screamed and Victoria held her daughter close, hiding her face. Heath was punching and pounding his brothers who didn’t want to fight back. Heath got up on his knees and landed a solid punch to Nick’s nose. Blood poured down immediately. Nick hauled off and slapped Heath hard across the face knocking him down. The fight seemed over at least for the moment. Heath held his cheek looking around at his home and family with wonder. His eyes settled on Nick and so did betrayal. Nick took his sleeve and smeared the blood across his face.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry Heath I didn’t mean to do it.” The clarity of the moment faded and Heath started shaking trying to hold on to the moment as the other images invaded his mind. Heath grabbed his head and curled into himself. Nick pulled his brother into his arms and Heath buried himself there. “Shhh, you’re safe here, Heath. Nobody’s gonna hurt you here.” Nick choked on his own tears. “Never again, Heath I promise. It’ll be alright, just stay here.”
“They’re mine.”
“Okay Heath. They’re yours. I won’t take ’em.”
“So cold.” Nick held him closer and gave him warmth. Despite the fever that radiated from him, Heath shivered. They stayed that way, Nick comforting Heath who wouldn’t stop shaking.
“Don’t.”
“Okay, okay, I won’t. Shhh. ’kay, just relax, it’s gonna be okay.”
....Continued
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