“Come on in Toddman; tell me what you think about the possibilities for our new Barkley venture.” Nick’s loud voice filled every corner of the huge Barkley manor with pride at the possibilities his new project could create for the expanding Barkley ranch. He entered the foyer to introduce the couple to the rest of his family. When Nick welcomed the couple into the house an unexpected nightmare erupted and quickly ended the very special evening Nick had so carefully planned.

Before he could say a word, he found himself pulling Heath off the man he was so proud of hiring, and shoving him into the arms of his older brother, Jarrod.

“Dammit Heath, what the Devil’s gotten into you?” Nick held him in a bear lock and Jarrod captured Heath’s arms by pressing them behind tightly behind his back.

“Let’s get him out of here.” Nick forced the words through clenched teeth. Heath became dead weight and tried to slide through his brothers’ grasp. Jarrod had to grab Heath’s legs as he managed to slide loose in Nick’s arms. The two older brothers struggled to hold on to Heath, and managed to keep him constrained in their arms as they made their way across the room. They all crashed through the kitchen door, and trapped Heath on the floor.

“Heath, stop it! What the hell’s the matter with you?”

“Let me go, that’s Matt Bentell; I’ve got to kill him.” cried Heath, his eyes ablaze with hate and revenge.

Nick froze, pinning his younger to the floor and stared into his fiery eyes. The impact of what they were saying hit Nick like a ton of bricks. He remembered Bentell through Heath’s memories of the prison camp. Nick had long ago forced those nightmares behind stubborn walls, which crumbled now and flooded his thoughts. Nick needed no further explanation he knew what to do.

Without another word, Nick returned to the foyer, pulled his gun out of its holster, and shoved it in the ruthless man’s face.

Jarrod was left alone in the kitchen to keep his youngest brother subdued. He was no match for the younger man, once Heath realized his brother did not intend to release him. Jarrod was a lawyer by trade and Heath had been doing physical labor since he was about six years old. They were brothers but had very different backgrounds. Jarrod was born into the marriage between Tom Barkley and his wife Victoria, and he reaped the benefits of respect and prosperity and a loving family. Heath was born to young women in a town in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada’s as the result of an affair she had with Tom Barkley. Heath was loved by his mother and her two good friends, but was shamed for the circumstances of his birth by the rest of the town. He began to work at a very young age to help his mother support them. For whatever reason, Heath’s mother never told him who his Father was until she knew her death was imminent. Heath had only come to the Barkleys about a year ago claiming his birthright. When he arrived, he brought with him an anger that he rarely expressed. Heath’s true nature seemed to be quiet and reflective. This new man at the door had sparked that anger again and more, and Jarrod needed help. He could tell that restraining Heath was not a battle he would win alone. Heath’s resolve to kill the man at the door merely fed into his strength and blocked out all the reasoning Jarrod offered. Jarrod’s knee pressed into the middle of Heath’s back, while holding his wrists, crossed, just below his shoulders. His only hope was to weaken his brother by denying him air.

Victoria came to Jarrod’s aid when she heard the yelling. She tried to calm her newest son with loving words, but he was so intent on revenge she could not get through to him. She finally just put her mouth to his ear. “Stop it, Heath. We will handle this!” She screamed at him and shook his shoulders. “Heath stop fighting us,” she pleaded, pressing his flailing head to the floor.

Heath did stop his wild thrashing. Victoria released the pressure in her arms and softly stroked his hair. Moments later Jarrod’s knee returned to the floor and he rolled his hostile brother carefully onto his back. Heath was pulling air into his lungs. Victoria and Jarrod saw the look in his eyes change from hatred and revenge, to deep wet pools of despair. The fire left his eyes and so did the spark that had always brought joy to his whole family’s hearts. “Let me go, let me go Jarrod.” Now Victoria’s heart knew that she would prefer anything, even hate, to reflect from the eyes of the son she had chosen to love, than the hopelessness now residing there.

“Let me go Jarrod. I’m done fighting you. I’m done fighting.”

Jarrod saw all the strength, and will leave his brother’s body, and slowly loosened his grip. “I’m sorry Heath I thought you were going to kill that man.”

Heath took the kitchen stairs to get away from everyone and everything that was causing him to become lost again in a world he could not escape. “I was.”

A memory, like an old enemy became clearer in Nick’s mind, as he stood at the door and pointed the gun at the couple. “Get out of here. Do not ever come anywhere near this place again, or I will put this bullet between your eyes. I know who you are, and I know your victims are spread all over this country. If I ever see you or even hear about you, I will tell everyone your secret, Matt Bentell. My guess is Heath isn’t the only one around here that wants to kill you.”

Nick’s hand was shaking as the gun remained trained on its victim. Nick felt the coolness of the metal as the trigger began to pull back. Nick stared at his hand as if foreign to him, as he tried to control its movement.

“What my husband did, he had to do. It was war and there were no resources.” Cinda Bentell’s lips puckered with the lies she knew by heart. She was a loathsome creature, full of conceit and deception. Her voice was a high-pitched, nasally, sniveling whine, which only repulsed Nick more.

“I’m not stupid, I know what your husband did and I know you watched your prisoners being killed, abused and starved and that you didn’t do anything to stop it. I’m bringing you in to the sheriff, you murderer,” Nick spat back. He was poised and ready to take reckoning of the two responsible for the damage Nick knew Heath still suffered.

Matt Bentell took his wife’s hand and glared back at Nick.

“You lay a finger on me and I’ll slap a law suit on you. I was acquitted of all charges.” It was the law that had laid its foundation somewhere along the lines Mrs. Bentell issued, to warrant or rather disregard Bentell’s conduct as warden of Carterson, the civil war prison where Heath was incarcerated for the last seven months of the war. When the surviving prisoners at Carterson were freed, they were suffering not only from starvation but also from horrible mental and physical abuse. Bentell, believed himself justified for starving and torturing the POWs that were his wards. He used his power and position to wage a private battle against his prisoners in retaliation for losses his cause was suffering in the war. After the war, the law did little to rectify the horrors imposed on its sons.

Nick closed his eyes to the pair he had been so proud to bring to the ranch. He now wanted nothing more than to have them vanish from the face of the earth.

Cinda Bentell looked Nick in the eye with a dawning realization. An evil twist had skewed her mouth. She would never tolerate sedition. “I saw enough of that man you seem so intent on hiding, to remember he was nothing but a coward, and a thief. He even stole food from a starving man he called his friend.”

Nick’s gun, aimed at their faces, first one then the other, then fired between them.

“Get out, or die now.” Nick’s voice rose from the darkness that had kept the memories of them concealed.

Henry, the Barkley’s ranch foreman, stepped out of the bunkhouse, rifle ready. “Nick, you want these people standing at your door?”

“No Henry, I don’t want them dirtying up the ground anywhere.”

“I’ll make sure they leave Nick.” Henry had only seen the face Nick wore once before. It was on the day his murdered father died in his arms. Henry had worked side by side with Tom for many years and helped Nick through the anguish of running the ranch without his father’s guidance.

The Bentells turned and left the Barkley home. Bentell helped his wife onto the seat of their buckboard. Matt walked around the wagon, keeping an angry eye on Nick, joined his wife and took the reins.

Cinda Bentell was livid. “That boy needs to remember his place, Matt. We never did accept defiance from him and I do not feel like starting now. I would love to get my hands on that little wretch again, remind him to show respect. He has forgotten just what he is, now that he is home on this big ranch. I cannot tolerate such indignity from the likes of him. He must have forgotten the punishment for paying no heed to manners. He should be grateful he isn’t dead like the rest of the sinful prisoners.” Matt Bentell nodded as his wife spoke. The northern army had rescued Heath Barkley, but only repentance and death would save his soul. Bentell vowed to continue his duty and release one more of his enemies of his sins.

The Bentells rode into town and checked into a room at the hotel.

Heath made his way up the stairs to the bathroom and desperately hoped his stomach would settle down soon. He was feeling sweaty, exhausted and increasingly faint. His stomach heaved out its contents to rid his body of the memories of Carterson prison, and his suffering there at the hands of Bentell and his wife.

“How could they find me,” Heath thought as he struggled for air while his body continued to repel each coming moment of consciousness. His body finally won. Heath collapsed and felt the coolness of the tile against the side of his face. “That feels good,” he thought briefly before closing his eyes. Shortly thereafter, his family found him shivering and unconscious on the bathroom floor. Nick and Jarrod cleaned their brother before putting him to bed under warm blankets. Heath barely responded to their caring ministrations, trusting the darkness to ease his pain.

Nick stood by Heath’s bed trying to make sense of his anger toward the Bentells and the memories that streamed into his mind.

“I’ll stay here. The rest of you can go on to sleep now. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep for awhile,” offered Nick.

“I don’t think I’m quite up to sleeping yet either,” said Jarrod.

“I don’t suppose any of us are quite ready for that yet. How is he?” asked Victoria.

“He banged his face a bit, but I think he’s just sleeping, not unconscious,” responded Jarrod.

Nick stood with arms crossed at the foot of the bed and forced air out through his nose at that comment. “Yes Jarrod, he always goes to sleep on the bathroom floor.”

“Nick...,never mind. It might be best if we do try to rest,” Jarrod suggested to his mother and sister, more as a way to escape what he was sure to be Nick’s foul mood. He knew that Nick was kicking himself, even though he could not have known that man was Bentell. He also knew Nick would stay with Heath until he found some answers for himself.

Victoria and Audra did not leave the room. They sat on the bed on either side of Heath.

Jarrod tried another tactic. “Nick, let’s have drink and leave the women to fuss over Heath awhile. He’s asleep and won’t suffer their coddling too much.”

Jarrod’s attempt to rein all the emotions housed in the one small room, was quite transparent, but in quick time appreciated by all. Nick smiled at his Mother and sister before leaving the room with Jarrod.

Victoria spoke quietly hoping to wake her husband’s son. She needed him to tell her he was all right. Shortly after Heath had first arrived and made his claim on his heritage, Jarrod had hired detectives to gather information on as much of Heath’s past as possible,. Although Victoria did not need the proof Jarrod did, to know her husband’s son, she read the information to better understand his quiet and withholding nature. The information bore her witness to a young child robbed of youth and forced to run from his only source of love and comfort to war in order to become a man. At sixteen, he knew the abuse men suffered as prisoners of war. Her heart had gone out to this man the moment she laid eyes on him and saw so much of her husband as he was in their young marriage, the young man who had betrayed her so many years ago. She saw the man who lay down in a stranger’s bed and created a life. A life once again called on to pay for the sin of his parents. Her feelings of love and anger and pity and kinship raced through her blood once again. As always, the strange and wonderful love reached and took hold of her heart. She caressed the arm she held by the hand and gently continued until she brushed his cheek and wiped the dampness from the corner of his eye. He was her son too, and she needed the past to stop torturing him, but did not know how to stop it.

Audra held Heath’s other hand. Audra knew the least about his life in Carterson. The rest of the family shielded her from what they knew. She accepted and loved Heath because he treated her like the sister she wanted to be, and not a child. He had come to be her most adored brother because of the way she saw herself reflected in his eyes.

When Nick and Jarrod retuned an hour later, Heath had not opened his eyes as Victoria had hoped. Victoria and Audra kissed Heath goodnight, rose, and kissed his brothers as well.

Jarrod paused at the door in case Nick wanted to talk. They had merely shared a few well needed drinks while Nick stared into the fire and Jarrod watched over him for a sign that he might want to discuss what happened. It did not come. Heath was sleeping, or at least his eyes were closed, his breathing even and his body was not moving. “Maybe he is unconscious,” admitted Jarrod to himself.

“Can you believe of all the people to hire for this job, I bring Bentell to have dinner with Heath?”

“Nick, you had no way of knowing. He lied about his name.”

“Jarrod, I just wish that Heath would never be forced to remember that horrible time.

When the detectives showed up with the little information they had found out about Heath, Nick had been furious with Jarrod for invading Heath’s privacy on the one hand and for believing the information was proof to his lineage on the other. It had been a hard won battle for Nick to accept Heath as a part of the family. He still had boundaries with Heath he did not have with Jarrod or Audra, but he was also closer to Heath than the others in many ways. Their lives intersected daily as they ran the ranch, and Nick was privy to much of Heath’s life that the others could only read about in the detective’s report. Heath had shared his life with Nick through the bond that had shattered many walls between them, many of which Nick had since rebuilt. Bentell’s presence rammed holes in those walls and Nick could not bare the pain of some of what was revealed now any more than he could six months ago.

“I can’t explain it Jarrod, but I know that his experience was worse than we could ever imagine. Ever since he recovered from that lightning storm, I sometimes have the feelings that would go along with memories, but I didn’t have the memories I used to. I have been able to push them out of my mind. I just didn’t want to accept the kind of life Heath had because of father’s absence. I haven’t had the memories for a long time, until tonight and it doesn’t feel good. Jarrod, I thought I was going to kill Bentell, I think I meant to. I remembered enough in one split second to hate Bentell, and hate his wife too, and her voice, Jarrod, I hate that too. I thought I was going to kill her and I’m not even sure why. Jarrod I just got a really bad feeling, I can’t explain it, I know they are dangerous people.”

“Nick, I know you and Heath have a special bond. I’ve seen the way you know things about each other, and I can’t make any more sense of it than you can. However, I trust it, and you should too. You need to pay attention to it. My guess is you already have the answers, you just don’t want to accept them. I’m going to let Sheriff Madden know about what happened.”

“Let Fred know what, Jarrod? Let him know that I tried to kill a man and his wife for accepting a dinner invitation?”

“Nick I really hate it when you get this attitude that what you did was wrong, that you are to blame for things that are completely out of your control. Bentell and Heath have a history, Bentell is in town and I believe you are right, they are dangerous. I think we should let Fred know there could be trouble.”

“Yeah, well, what if Heath or I are in the middle it, like tonight, warning him might just be more trouble than not.”

“You and Heath are good men, I’m not worried about anything either of you might do. I am worried about the Bentells, and I will continue to worry until they are well away from here.”

“Jarrod, It took both of us to keep Heath from killing the man with his own hands. I almost shot one of them, or both of them. I think we are the last people you should trust to handle trouble with the Bentells.”

“You’re a good man Nick, and a good brother. So is Heath.”

They remained quiet for a while. Jarrod went over to Nick, and clapped him on the shoulder. “Good night Nick, get some sleep. Heath will be fine. You know he doesn’t like folks hawking over him. He’ll be upset enough in the morning when he finds you sleeping in that chair. You don’t want to be the one accuses of it, do you?”

“I always am anyway Jarrod.”

“Yes, I guess you’ve got that job perfected by now. Get some sleep Nick.”

Nick had never been to Carterson, Heath had. The family knew Heath had been tortured there. Heath’s back was covered in scars caused by a terrible whipping. Heath never shared much about that part of his life. He told his new family about the whipping because they had discovered his scars the first time he’d been sick. Nick also knew more about that horrible from the memories he and Heath shared. He could no longer keep them out of reach. They were now free of the prison he had made to keep them hidden. Nick knew if he tried to think back to the days he and Heath seemed to be drowning in each other’s past, he would be able to dig up impossible horrors that he had worked so hard to drive from his memory. The day the storm caught them in the force of it’s lightning and bound them together in a will to survive was the day their bond as half-brothers became much more.

Nick did not want to remember any more of that though. Sitting in the chair by his brother’s bed, he closed his eyes, watching the now peaceful body of Heath’s haunted soul. Nick fell asleep and dreamt the dreams of hope and wishes. He dreamt of a childhood with Heath in which they had not gone to war, a childhood full of family, full of love, full of fishing and racing, and teasing, and a childhood in which he protected his younger brother as an older brother should. It was a dream he shared with his sleeping brother, to ease his own pain and erase Heath’s. It was something he had not allowed Heath or himself for half a year.

The Bentells decided to eat dinner in the dining room of their temporary lodgings. While they were eating, they discussed the events that had occurred at the Barkley Ranch. Cinda and Matt Bentell were hateful people. For all the evil they had perpetrated during the war, there was no escaping the monsters they had created and become. The discussion of events turned into a plan for revenge.

Two cowboys were sitting at a table next to the Bentells. They had been in the Barkley’s employ before Heath had come into their lives. Heath’s arrival to the ranch caused upheaval among the hands as well as in the family. Heath arrived at the Barkley ranch under the temporary guise of a ranch hand, wanting to get a feel for the family that had been hiding from him for so many years. After a few days, Heath went up to the Barkley house and claimed his right to a share of the estate and he received a place as a member of the family instead. This caused resentment among some of the hands, and added a pair of eyes to the running of the ranch. A few of the hired hands were unwilling to give Heath a chance at being their boss, and had eventually been fired by Nick. The two men now eavesdropping on the Bentell conversation had been fired by Heath when he caught them shirking their duties.

The two men realized that the hatred burning in the strangers next to them rivaled their own. While the Bentells were trying to figure out a way to get at Heath without the rest of the family interfering, the ranch hands rose and approached their table.

“Excuse us for interrupting, we couldn’t help but overhear, now don’t get the wrong idea, we’re no friends of that Barkley bastard either. We thought we might be able to help you since we worked on the Barkley’s ranch for a few seasons. That is before that little hayseed got hisself stuck between the Barkley’s teeth. He tries to hide behind the Barkley name but most people round here know him for the burr them Barkleys cain’t shake from their coats. His daddy had a good time with some gal he met in a mining town. Musta forgotten about it as soon as it happened cause no one in the family ever knew. I’d expect Mrs. Barkley’d a known about it if ole Tom woulda had it on his mind. Well we just couldn’t find our way through to payin that boy any bit of undeserved respect let alone take orders from ‘im.”

“Why don’t you two gentlemen join us for a bit? It sounds like you might have some information we’re interested in.”

The cowboys told the Bentells that there was going to be a Sunday social at the town picnic area the next day. They also knew that Heath might hide himself away behind a bluff on the far end of the meadow. “He can’t face the way people see through his act.”

“I should have known that boy didn’t belong in that big house. He’s just hiding out in there. Well he can’t stay in the house and keep up his act now can he, My dear.” Matt Bentell was eager to capture another prisoner and make him pay. This time for more than just escape. He had been humiliated.

Heath woke up the next morning wondering what Nick was doing sleeping in his room. He quietly got out of bed and went to the bathroom. There was a slight smell of sickness in the room and he realized his mouth tasted really bad, and his stomach muscles ached a bit. “I wonder if I had too much too drink last night. We did play quite a few games of billiards.” Heath shook his head, trying to clear it. When no new memories came to mind he checked his head in case he’d had an accident which might cause his confusion. He did find the scalp the along his temples to be somewhat tender, and a bruise forming on his cheek, but nothing remotely severe enough to cause him concern. Heath brushed his teeth, rinsed his mouth of its foul taste, and washed up. Heath returned to his room, dressed and went to the barn to tend to the horses. The family was going to attend the Sunday Social and he wanted his horse Charger to look his best.

Nick awoke and found Heath gone. Cursing, he ran out the room, out of the house, and out to the barn. He was now praying that he would find Heath before he caught up with the Bentells. He ran to the barn to get Coco saddled, only to find Heath sweet-talking his horse.

“Heath, you’re still here, good. Let’s go into the house and have breakfast”. Remembering Heath’s stomach problems added, “or maybe just a cup of coffee, it doesn’t matter Heath. Just don’t go off half cocked looking to kill them. They’re not worth it.” Nick was spitting words out right and left. He knew he either had to find the right words or be ready to ride after his younger brother. He had no idea what those words might be, but he was sure he wouldn’t find them in the barn. Nick knew he had Heath’s attention. Heath always listened, but Nick could not understand his reaction in the look of his eyes. Heath appeared to be completely dumbfounded. “Heath,” Nick put his arm around his brother’s shoulder, “come on, please come on back inside”. Nick’s heart ached for the pain in Heath’s past that had once again stolen into a new day.

Heath chuckled. “Boy howdy, I’m glad I’m not the only one who was a little thirsty last night. Sounds like you just woke up out of a bad whiskey dream. Just who am I supposed to want to kill on a beautiful day like today? There’s no work, just picnic baskets, friends, females...” He raises his eyebrow at his brother. Nick’s face remained as sour as it was a moment ago.

“I thought you were going after Bentell, that’s who”

“What are you talking about? Who is Bentell, and why would I be going after him?” Heath could feel a strangely familiar knot in his stomach begin to twist but he pushed it aside.

“Whatdya mean, who’s Bentell?” Nick grabbed Heath’s shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “He was the warden at the prison camp where you were held for 7 months during the war.”

“That musta been some dream. "Do me a favor, though. Don’t tell me about it. I really think today is made for better conversations. All right? Look, I think breakfast is probably a good idea. Let’s just drop it and start enjoying the day.”

Nick had no idea about what to make of the foregoing conversation, but was relieved that Heath was not planning on killing anyone and was still anticipating a good day.

When Nick ran out of the house cursing, the rest of the family was alerted that the day had begun. Victoria had not slept well. Her middle child Heath was still a mystery to her. He had arrived at the ranch claiming his birthright only a year ago. Yet in that short time she and her other children had come to love him dearly, and had woven him so tightly into their lives that he seemed a part of the fabric of her older memories. It was as if he had been with them all along. Now that illusion had been torn to shreds. He did not share the Barkley experiences that had molded, guided, and created each of them into the persons they were now. He was different, separated from them by the experiences of a lonely and oppressed boyhood and the unconditional love of another woman. Heath’s Mother had not been able to protect this child from hunger, hate, or abuse, anymore than Victoria had protected him from his present anguish. Victoria wondered just how much of her relationship if any existed within the walls he had built over time to hide from hurtful experiences, how much of himself was he willing to share with others. Victoria knew that Heath had deep wounds that lay festering beneath his reserved personality. One thing Heath was extremely good at was hiding that pain from others, and from himself. It was obvious that the presence of the Bentells at their home last evening had broken through his defenses and caused Heath terrible distress. She felt her heart being choked. Every beat was painful as it had to push its way through the powerful grip of helplessness a mother often feels for her children. She thanked God that she did not have to suffer this pain daily, as she was sure Heath’s Mother had. Victoria did not know how to heal this son, and feared that she could not.

Victoria dressed and looked in Audra’s room first as she made her way down the hall. Audra was brushing her hair and gave her mother a sad smile. “I’ll be right down. Did Nick and Heath leave?”

“I don’t know dear, I’m going to check.”

“Mother, I’ve never seen anyone so angry, or scared, or hurt before. I don’t even know what to call what Heath was feeling last night.” Audra tossed her hair back and joined her mother in the hall.

“I don’t know either sweetheart. I was just thinking how much I don’t know about our young man.”

As soon as Victoria opened the door to Jarrod’s room she was met by her eldest son’s broad shoulders as he was leaving to go after his brothers. “I’ll bring them back, don’t worry.” Jarrod kissed his mother and sister quickly on their cheeks, and ran down the stairs.

When Jarrod was halfway down them, Nick and Heath entered the house through the front door.

“Mother, Jarrod, Audra,” Heath greeted as he saw them on the stairs. Nick was behind Heath trying to communicate things by making big gestures and unreadable faces.

Audra ran down the stairs, not knowing what to say, not knowing what to feel, and embraced her new brother. “I love you Heath.” Regardless of the situation or the conversation she knew would be occuring, Audra gave Heath the most important thing she had in life to offer.

“I love you too honey,” Heath said and felt a pang of guilt, as if he were keeping a secret. It disquieted him again.

“Nick what are you doing?” asked Jarrod. He had been trying to interpret Nick’s gestures but was at a complete loss.

“Yes, what are you doing Nick?” asked Heath, grateful to for an excuse to break through the iron grip his sister had on him.

“Nothing, never mind.” Nick waited to see who he could grab to communicate the situation to without alerting Heath.

“Let’s eat,” Heath offered hoping everyone would stop their strange behavior. He would have asked them why they were fussing so, but he felt that same pang of guilt in his heart, and wondered if he had done something wrong.

Jarrod and Victoria looked at Nick when he made no move to go to the table. Jarrod nodded that his Mother would follow Heath and Audra.

“All right Nick, what is it? Sleep seems to have done our brother quite a bit of good. He seems like his old self this morning. What was all that waving about?”

Nick would have been so much happier to just shout out the fact that Heath couldn’t remember a damn thing about last night and humble his condescending brother a bit. Nick did not appreciate his attempts to communicate a difficult situation to be taken lightly and ridiculed. Nick also realized that the truth would be punishment enough for his older brother.

Nick took a deep breath, “Jarrod, Heath doesn’t remember last night, he doesn’t remember Bentell.”

Jarrod’s eyes grew wide and wet with shame at his smug attitude. “Sorry Nick.”

“It’s ok. What are we going to do?”

“What makes you think he doesn’t remember?”

“When I got to the barn, he was brushing down Charger, wanting his horse to look good today. He is looking forward to the social. I asked him about last night. He thinks he drank too much to remember, Hell, Jarrod, he thinks I drank too much because I do remember. I told him about Bentell, He thinks I was hallucinating. What are we gonna do?”

“I don’t know Nick, we have to think.”

Come on you two let’s eat together while the food is still warm.” Victoria called. She wanted the opportunity to broach the topic that was foremost on her mind. She needed to wait until the whole family was gathered.

Jarrod and Nick joined the rest of the family at the table. Nick had already had two bad starts at trying to communicate with his family, and was sure if he tried again, he would not fare any better.

As Heath was filling his plate with the food Silas had prepared, Nick tried to mouth out to the situation to his mother. “He doesn’t remember last night.” Audra had been paying close attention to the interaction and scrunched her eyes in concentration but remained as puzzled as their mother.

“Heath, how are you feeling this morning?” Victoria asked, trying to open the door for him to address what had happened, while at the same time ignoring Nick’s wide eyes and shaking head.

“Fine, Mother, how about you, did you sleep well?”

“Well, not really Heath, I guess I was worried about you.”

“Why?”

Nick simply placed his elbows on the table, planted his head in his hands, and stared at his plate.

“Why? Heath, we found you passed out in the bathroom after Nick got rid of the Bentells,” Victoria stated with a glance at her other children.

“Who are the Bentells? Nick was telling me some crazy story out in the barn. What did this Bentell tell you about me? I thought the new man in charge of setting up the timber operation was coming over. His name was Toddman. I don’t remember him ever showing up. Did I have too much to drink, or was I not feeling well. I don’t really remember much except playing billiards. Whatever he told you I wouldn’t believe a word of it, from what Nick had to say, it seems like quite a story.” Heath was rambling as he searched his memory for the previous night. He began to push himself away from the table unconsciously.

Victoria was at a loss. She decided to be straightforward with Heath. They would have to put a stop to whatever dangerous walls Heath’s mind was trying to build between them. Victoria halted Heath’s retreat by placing her hand on his arm. “Heath the man Nick hired told us his name was Toddman, Matt Toddman but his real name is Matt Bentell. He was the warden at Carterson Prison, where you were held for seven months at the end of the war, dear. He and his wife did come over, but they will never be back.”

“Mother, I don’t know what they told you, but I assure you, and if you think back for yourself you will realize, that I was too young to have gone to war. Even if I had wanted to, you certainly would never have allowed it.” Heath continued to push himself away from the table. He had a sense of fear and didn’t know why.

Victoria held tighter to his arm. “You’re right Heath, you were too young.” She saw his face relax, she gave him a smile which he returned full of relief and love. He pushed his chair back in toward the table. Victoria gave his arm a gentle squeeze before returning to her plate trying to hide her tearful eyes before they gave her away. “Excuse me a moment I need to check on something in the kitchen. Nick I’ll need your help a moment.”

Nick calmly followed his fleeing mother. Jarrod shook his head to Audra to signal that she play along. Heath watched them go and wondered what his Mother needed to do in the middle of breakfast.

“Nick what is going on? Victoria could not believe her joy that Heath had mistaken her, yet knew it meant something was terribly wrong.

“All I know is Heath doesn’t remember last night. I didn’t know he’d forgotten Leah until just now. I have no idea what’s going on in that boy’s head.” Night thought on the night before and remembered his treasured dream.

“Mother, you know I don’t know much about why we shared our dreams, back then.” Nick still had trouble accepting the events of the storm. There was too much power behind it. It forced itself upon them changed their lives and left them as suddenly as it had come. “I for one, and I’m Guessing Heath would be two, slept well last night.” I had a wonderful dream that Heath grew up here as my little brother. It was such a good dream Mother.” Tears welled in his guilty eyes.

“Oh Nick, It’s not your fault. I’m so glad you had such a good dream. You know, I’ve had good dreams like that too. I treasure them for days sometimes before they float away. She hugged him and kissed him. They both washed their faces before returning to the table.

The family finished breakfast subdued and very confused by Heath's behavior. Although relieved that Heath was apparently not suffering from the events of the night before, they knew they would have to help him to remember his past. They would go to the Social. Heath seemed so delighted by the change of pace. Perhaps things would sort themselves out. Jarrod readied the buggy to drive his Mother and sister to the picnic grounds. Nick and Heath had already straddled Coco and Charger and were discussing whether or not someone would have packed a picnic basket to share with them. Audra had a basket full of Silas’ fried chicken, potato salad, and apple pie. Audra had promised her afternoon to jack Sanders and invited him to picnic with her family. Her brothers quipped of the surprise Jack would receive after his first home cooked meal if they ever married.

Upon arriving at the social, the family worked together and quickly unloaded, carried and organized everything on a big blanket. They had found a nice spot under a tree which provided shade and added to the sweet smell of autumn. After eating, Victoria was able to catch up on the lives of her friends who had come west so many years before and settled this land with her. It was always with pride that she and her friends reminisced, especially at a social gathering where the rewards of their labors were so apparent in the lives they had been able to provide for their children. Who, Victoria noticed, had scattered to the four winds. She tried to keep one eye open all afternoon, to watch over her worrisome child. One of her old friends was the town Doctor. He had always been at the Barkley’s side to help them through sickness and accidents that accompanied raising a family in a developing land. Howard Merar had become an older, wise, and trusted friend. He was always able to comfort and provide guidance in the care of her family’s health.

Her family had survived better than most that had come out to settle the region. She had lost only one child in infancy. Her others were all strong, healthy confident individuals. She thought on Heath. He was all those things too, but it had not always been that way. He had been kicked around by life and was perhaps the strongest of her children. He was also the most vulnerable.

“Hello Howard, how are you enjoying the day?”

“Just fine Victoria, I take it your children have all found more interesting places to be right now.”

“Sadly yes, Howard. It seems I am not as much a part of their fun anymore. As a matter of fact this is the first morning in a long time that I have had all my children home for breakfast.”

“Congratulations,” Howard chuckled approvingly, “how did you manage that?”

“Howard, I will tell you how I managed, and the trouble I fear coming from it. I do need to discuss this with you, and I’m just not really sure how to explain it. I will try my best.” Victoria paused and gathered the events in her mind and tried to form them into something that could be solved if only properly expressed. “We were all at home awaiting dinner last night, to share in a moment away from all the hard work we have all been doing. Nick wired Jarrod to come home and ordered the rest of us including Heath to take last evening and today off from work to celebrate his newest project. Nick invited the new supervisor he hired to set up the lumber mill for dinner last night. When the man and his wife entered the house, Heath went wild with anger. As angry, no much angrier, than the day he arrived. I’ve never seen that side of him, until yesterday. The man Nick hired turned out to be using an alias and is in fact Matt Bentell, the warden at Carterson.”

Dr. Merar’s face showed deep concern. He had been witness to some of the fever nightmares Heath could suffer, as well as the outward scars. “How is he?”

“That’s what I’m not sure of. We found him passed out on the bathroom floor after Nick kicked the Bentells out of the house and had Henry escort them off the property. This morning he remembered nothing of their visit. That is disconcerting enough, but he also has no memory of Carterson and swears he was never there. He says he was too young, which he was Howard, and that I, his Mother would not have allowed him to go. You’ve seen his back, and as much I wish we had not investigated his background, we do have documents that prove he was at Carterson and the condition in which he was found when the war was over. And as much as I wish I were, I am not his Mother, in the sense that he thinks I am. I don’t know what to do. We let it go this morning, not wanting to create a situation we didn’t know how to handle. He was so looking forward to this day.”

“Well, Victoria”, the Dr. shook his head. “That boy has certainly had a time of it hasn’t he? Tempting to just let him forget about it. He certainly seemed to be enjoying himself earlier. I saw him with Nick and a couple young ladies headed for the stream, and the cover of some trees.”

Victoria smiled. That was the kind of day they had anticipated, she thought then said aloud, “what should I do? It can’t be healthy for him to push those memories away, or can it?” she added hopefully not wanting her son to suffer any more pain related to Carterson.

“No Victoria, I can’t imagine that it is healthy, but I’m the Doctor that fixes him up after a fall from a horse. I don’t really know what you should do. I’ll make some inquiries among my colleagues; in the meantime let’s just see if he will remember on his own.”

...Continued