By the end of January, Heath was back doing a full days work. He rode out with Nick at dawn, stopping at lunch to eat the sandwiches Silas packed in their saddlebags and returning to the ranch just after five for supper. Their days were full of broken fences, straying cattle and picking up supplies. Nick turned CoCo out every day even after he recovered and rode a different horse every few days, his reasoning being that they were green and needed the work. Nobody dared to question him. It was as though he thought if he didn't ride the same horse every day, then he couldn't get attached to them.

The front door opened and two weary cowboys walked over and threw their hats on the foyer table. Nick took a quick look around and threw back his head, "MOTHER!! SILAS!! WHERE IS EVERYBODY?"

Victoria came up behind him with her hands over her ears, "will you please stop shouting in the house!"

He spun around and looked at her, "where were you?"

"I was in the library reading, now why are you two home in the middle of the day?"

He placed his hands on his hips and his voice rose again at the question whose answer should have been obvious, "WE'RE STARVIN'."

"NICK!"

He lowered his voice, "well we are, we all ready fixed nearly two miles of fence that was coming down in the north pasture and you know we left so early this morning we didn't have breakfast. We had to pick up more wire so we decided to come home for lunch."

"All right, I'll see if Silas can make something for you. Audra's gone to the orphanage so it'll just be the three of us, now you two go get cleaned up." She turned to regard her youngest son who was sitting on the edge of the table staring at the floor.

"Heath, are you all right? You look tired." She cupped his cheek and raised his face so she could see him better. He looked pale and her hand moved to feel his forehead as she checked for fever.

She dropped it when he stood up and bent to give her a kiss on the cheek, "I'm fine Mother, just a little tired is all."

Nick was now looking at him in concern as he too noted the pale features and dark smudges under the blue eyes. "Maybe ya should stay home and rest this afternoon Heath. I can take Slim and finish that fence."

"I'm fine Nick, I just need somethin' to eat is all." He started up the stairs and Victoria looked at Nick who shook his head and shrugged before following his brother up the stairs.

The sound of spurs coming down the hall had Silas bringing the platter of medium rare steaks to the table. That, along with fried potatoes, biscuits, gravy and lashings of hot coffee, would be enough to quiet the two men's hunger until suppertime.

Victoria watched them as they ate in silence. It always amazed her how much they could put away and how quickly. They slowed down a bit as they worked their way through their second steak.

Nick glanced up as Heath laid down his knife and rubbed his chest and Victoria watched him for a moment before she spoke.

"Heath?"

He dropped his hand and picked up his knife again and looked over at her, "yes Mother?"

"Are you all right? Are your ribs still causing you problems?"

He gave a small shrug, "it's nothing Mother, just a twinge, it eases up after a few minutes."

Nick looked at him skeptically, "you've been sayin' that for over a month now."

"I'm fine."

"Hrummmmmph."

Victoria poured herself a cup of coffee and eyed her son as she sipped it, "I'm going into town tomorrow to pick up some dress patterns and I'd like you to drive me in Heath."

He finished his last bite of steak and pushed the plate away, "I'll get Billy to drive you Mother, me and Nick have work to do."

"The work can wait, I want you to see Doctor Merar. Those ribs should have healed by now, it's been three months."

The blond head turned quickly to stare at her, "I'm fine, I don't need to see the doctor."

She put down her cup and eyed the mutinous expression on her son's face, "nevertheless, you will drive me into town and you will see Doctor Merar ... am I making myself clear?"

Heath could see she wasn't going to take no for an answer and he gave in grudgingly. "Yes, Mother." He turned an angry glare on Nick who's shoulders were shaking with silent laughter as he shook his head at how easily their mother could get them to do what she wanted with little more than a stern look.

Victoria nodded in approval, pleased that he hadn't bothered to argue further, "all right then, we'll leave at nine. That way we can be back in time for lunch. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a book I want to finish reading."

Heath waited until she was out of the room before he came across with a balled up fist and rabbit punched Nick in the arm.

"Hey!! What was that for?" Nick rubbed his arm and scowled at his brother.

Heath got up and threw down his napkin with a grumbled, "that's so maybe next time you'll learn to keep your big mouth shut."

Silas came in to clear the table as Nick pushed back his chair and headed out the door shouting at the retreating back, "I'M GONNA HAVE A BRUISE THERE NOW YA KNOW HEATH, YA DIDN'T HAVE TO HIT ME SO HARD!"

Silas shook his head as the sound of spurs faded and the front door slammed, 'those two,' he thought, 'it surely would be a might dull around here without them.' He secretly loved to listen to them argue and banter back and forth, it livened up the house and made it a home. He smiled and finished clearing the table.

Nick hung around the barn the next morning and harnessed the horse for them as they got ready to leave for town. He had sent Slim and Steve out to finish the north pasture fence saying that's what they paid hired hands for anyway. Heath escorted his mother out the door to find Nick waiting there with the buggy.

Nick helped her in and handed Heath the lines when they were both settled on the seat and asked, "what time ya gonna be back?"

"Oh, about noon I think, I'll go pick up the patterns then stop in to see Jarrod. He has some papers he wants me to sign. While I'm doing that Heath can see Doctor Merar."

Heath tugged the fleece lined collar of his winter jacket higher in irritation, "I'm tellin' ya I don't need to see the doctor, I'm ..."

"FINE!" Two voices finished the sentence for him and they both laughed as he shot them a frustrated glare.

Victoria pulled on her gloves and patted his hand, "never mind Heath, we'll be back in plenty of time for you to help Nick this afternoon."

Nick crossed his arms on the side of the buggy and squinted up at them, "hey Heath, seein' as you're goin' to town anyways, why don't ya stop in and pick up those saddles we're gettin' fixed?"

"Good idea Nick, that way it won't be a total waste of time."

"Heath."

"All right Mother." He gave her a kiss on the cheek, "well I guess I'll take my favorite girl into town." He grinned down at Nick, "I'll see ya later."

Nick stepped back from the buggy, "I'm gonna' stay around here and move those feed bags to the other barn. We can have lunch when ya get back, then head out to check the fences in the south pasture."

"Sounds good Nick." He slapped the lines and they moved off towards town at a brisk trot.

Heath pulled up in front of the dressmakers shop, jumped out of the buggy then turned to lift his mother down. Victoria smoothed her riding skirt and adjusted her hat before reaching up and pecking him on the cheek.

"I'll walk over to Jarrod's office after I'm done here then we can meet in front of Wilson's. I have some material to pick up there."

He climbed back in the buggy and picked up the lines, "all right Mother, I'll go over to the saddle shop after I'm done at Doc's."

He made his way to the other end of town and briefly entertained the idea of bypassing the doctor's office but discarded the idea quickly, his mother would know what he had done just by looking at him. She would ask what the doctor had said and he wouldn't be able to look her in the eye and lie, best to just get it over with.

He tied the horse to the hitching post in front of Doctor Merar's office, stepped up onto the porch and knocked on the door briskly. His eyes scanned the street as he put his cold hands in his jacket pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels waiting for someone to answer the door and hoping no one would. Maybe Doc wasn't home, maybe he was away visiting, maybe he wouldn't have to see him, maybe ... the door opened and Howard pulled the young man inside when it looked to him as though Heath was about to take flight.

"Heath, come in. It's good to see you, how's the family?" Howard was pleased to see him looking so well again.

"They're all fine Doc." He took off his hat and twirled it nervously.

The doctor hooked his fingers in his vest pockets and bent his tall frame to catch the gaze that was darting around the room as if seeking an escape route. "That's good Heath, so why are you here?"

"Mother made me come." He frowned as he blurted out the words.

"Oh ... is there something wrong?"

"I just have a little pain in my chest, those ribs must not of healed just right. I'm fine though, no need to be here wastin' your time."

"Well," Howard took the hat from Heath's hands and hung it up, "let's let me be the judge of that all right?" He put his hand on Heath's back and guided him to the examining room in the back. "Take off your shirt and hop up on the table and I'll be right back."

Heath pulled off his jacket and shirt and sat on the table swinging his legs back and forth as he looked at the medical equipment on the shelves. He shuddered as he tried to figure out what some of it could be used for and fervently hoped none of it would ever be used on him.

The Doctor returned and had him lie down while he felt his way over the rib cage, "where do you have this pain Heath?"

"Right here Doc," he lifted his hand and placed it on his chest to the left of his breastbone.

"Hmmmm, that's where your ribs suffered the worst breaks." He continued to feel his way along each rib, trying to tell if they hadn't healed properly, "does it hurt when I press on them?"

Heath thought about it for a second, "no."

"Have you been over doing it Heath?" He reached into his medical bag and pulled out his stethoscope.

"The ranch doesn't take care of itself Doc, but don't worry, Nick hardly let me do anything for nearly two months." He jumped when the doctor placed the stethoscope on his chest.

"Ya might wanta' put that thing on ice awhile longer Doc, it's not quite frozen yet." He scowled when Doctor Merar shushed him and moved the stethoscope around, listening intently.

"All right Heath sit up and face me," he frowned as he moved the stethoscope around and instructed him to breath deeply. He was about to move around the table to place the instrument on Heath's back to listen when Heath's hand came up and he started rubbing his chest.

Howard eyed him for a moment and asked, "your chest hurts right now?"

"Just a little, it'll stop after a bit."

The doctor stood behind him and listened carefully before dropping his head and closing his eyes. He took off his stethoscope and patted the muscular shoulder, "you can get dressed now Heath. I'll wait for you in my office." He left the room quickly and Heath dressed in record time and stepped into the outer room to find Mrs. Merar just coming in, a welcoming smile on her face.

"Well, hello Heath. What are you doing here? Is the family all right?"

"They're fine ma'am, Mother made me come for a checkup is all." He had picked up his hat and was inching towards the door and Emily watched the handsome young man with amusement. As many times as he had been here, he still got nervous and couldn't leave fast enough.

"Tell Doc I had some errands to do and I had to leave." He pulled open the door and Mrs. Merar followed him, stopping him with a hand on his arm.

"Doesn't he want to talk to you Heath? It'll only take a moment for me to go get him."

"Oh no ma'am, there's no need to do that, I'm fine." He tipped his hat to her and fled across the porch to jump in the buggy and drive away.

At the sound of the door closing, Howard came out and looked at his wife, "Emily, where's Heath? I have to talk to him."

She waved her hand at the door, "he left, said he had some errands to do and he had to go."

He shook his head and went back into his office where he sat in his chair staring out the window for the next half an hour until his wife came in to tell him Victoria was in the other room. He took a deep breath and slowly got up, he felt so old today. Victoria was chatting to Emily about the wedding when he came into the room. She turned to him with a smile and he once again thought how small and fragile she looked.

"Howard, how good to see you. I thought I could catch Heath before he left, but that's all right. I've been wanting to tell Emily about Audra's wedding plans anyway."

Her smile faded as the pale blue eyes looked into her's and he reached out to take her arm, "Victoria, come in my office, I need to talk to you ..."

He settled her in the chair in front of his desk then pulled another around and sat down facing her as he picked up her small hand from where it lay in her lap.

"Victoria, I want to talk to you about Heath."

She shook her head and sighed, "it's his ribs isn't it? They haven't healed properly. I told him he should have given them more time before he started working again, but he wouldn't listen. He's as stubborn as Nick, maybe more so." She smiled and patted the hand that was holding hers, "don't worry, I'll speak to him when we get home and make him slow down."

He tightened his hold on her hand, "it's not his ribs."

She looked at him and gave a small shrug, "well, what else could it be?"

"Do you remember when the accident happened?" At her nod he continued, "remember all the bruising he had across his chest and shoulder?"

Again she nodded while he gave his head a negative shake and grimaced, "at the time I wondered how his chest hadn't been crushed with those breaks as bad as they were."

She stared into the blue eyes holding her's and started to tremble, a sense of foreboding washing over her.

"I'm sorry Victoria, but when those horses stepped on him, the force of it pushed the rib cage down and it damaged the heart muscle. That's why he's having these pains. His heart is having to work harder to compensate for the part that is deteriorating."

She looked down at their clasped hands and shook her head before raising it to see him watching her with sympathy in his eyes.

"What are you saying Howard?" Her voice was little more than a raspy whisper.

'Victoria ..."

She pulled her hands from his and stared at him as her eyes started to fill with tears and her heart pounded with fear.

"TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!!"

He held her tear filled grey eyes with his and sighed deeply. "I'm saying your son is going to die Victoria and there's not a damn thing I can do about it."

He hadn't wanted to tell her so bluntly, but knew there was no easy way to do it. This was the part of his job he hated, telling a mother her child was going to die.

"NO," she shook her head violently. "No, you're wrong it's just his ribs, they didn't heal properly." She searched the eyes watching her, looking for some sign that maybe he was mistaken, some small hope, but there was nothing and his quietly spoken words stabbed through her.

"I'm sorry Victoria."

He picked up her shaking hands and held them as tears spilled down her cheeks. "He had a small attack while I was examining him. I've had many patients with heart problems, I know what it sounds like when the heart is struggling. I'm not mistaken, I'm sorry."

"Please." Her trembling voice came out in a heartfelt plea. "Pleeease ... he's too young, he's not even twenty-nine yet. He's got his whole life ahead of him ... please."

"Victoria, there's nothing I can do, nothing anyone can do."

She jumped up from the chair and started to pace the room. When she reached the window she stood staring at the street as her thoughts tumbled over each other. This wasn't happening, it was all a bad dream and she would wake up soon. Anyone could see her son was perfectly healthy, he was out working every day, he ate well. No, he wasn't sick , he was just tired. She would make him slow down and rest, then he'd be all right.

"I'll take him to San Francisco, they have specialists there."

Howard got up, went over and placed his hands on her shoulders, "Victoria, come and sit down." He gently guided her to her chair and waited while she searched for a handkerchief to wipe her eyes. He sat forward and took her hands in his again. "Now I want you to listen to me Victoria. I've been a doctor for over forty years and I've seen a lot, I'm not mistaken about this, although I wish I was. Now, you can take Heath to another doctor, but the diagnosis will be the same. I'm sorry."

She looked into his eyes and knew he would never tell her this unless he was absolutely positive. He had been the family's doctor since she and Tom had come to the valley, he had delivered her children. He was more than their doctor, he was a good friend. She lowered her gaze and shook her head, why, why, why?

"Victoria," he waited until she lifted her eyes to his. "Heath left before I could tell him," he shrugged , "maybe that was for the best although I can tell him if you want."

"No." She shook her head quickly, "he's my son, I'll tell him."

Victoria took a deep breath and straightened her back as she approached Wilson's Mercantile. Heath was leaning against the hitching post in front of the store talking to a couple of the hands from a neighboring ranch.

"Heath." She put a smile on her face as she walked up to him, hoping he wouldn't notice how forced it was, how upset she was. She hung on to the front of his jacket as he bent to accept her kiss on the cheek. The two men he was talking to tipped their hats politely.

"Mrs. Barkley."

Victoria nodded politely, "Gentlemen."

They turned back to Heath, "we gotta get goin' Heath, you and Nick comin' to town Saturday night for the poker game at Harry's?"

"We'll be there."

"Ok, see ya then."

As they walked away he placed his hands on her upper arms and looked down at her, "Mother, where have you been? I've been waiting for you for half an hour."

She continued to hang onto the front of his jacket as she shook her head in confusion, "oh, I picked up the patterns and saw Jarrod." She couldn't raise her eyes and look at him, "then I stopped at Doctor Merar's to see if you were still there."

He gave her a grin and dropped his hands to take her arm, "and the good doctor assured you I'm fine, so can we pick up this material you want and head home? Me and Nick gotta' lot of work to get done today."

He started to lead her towards the entrance when she stopped suddenly and shook her head, "I can pick it up another day Heath, can you take me home?"

He looked down at her in concern as she stood staring at his chest.

"Mother?" She glanced up at him quickly. "Are you all right? You look a little pale."

"I...I...just have a headache, I'll feel better after I get home and rest."

"Maybe you should see the doctor."

"NO!... No, I just need to lay down for awhile." She gave him a smile as he helped her into the buggy.

"All right Mother, home it is then."

All the way home, she sat with her hands wrapped around his arm and her head leaning against his strong shoulder, trying to hold the tears at bay.

Jarrod came from the library as the grandfather clock was chiming midnight. He had been working on case notes and lost track of the time. As he was about to go up the stairs he looked into the living room and saw his mother sitting, staring into the fire. He walked into the room to say goodnight.

"Mother?" she jumped, startled and looked at him. He could see she had been crying and he sat on the marble table in front of her and took her ice cold hands in his.

"Mother, what's wrong?"

He knew she had come home from town with a headache and gone to her room for the rest of the day. She had missed lunch and when she didn't come down for supper, Audra had knocked on her door to make sure she was all right. She had said she was fine and could Silas just bring her a tray.

"Are you feeling all right?"

"Oh Jarrod, I don't know what to do. I keep staring into this fire hoping to find answers, and there are none."

"Mother, just tell me what's wrong and maybe we can figure it out together." He gave her a smile and squeezed her hands, "now how bad could it be?"

She lifted tear filled eyes to his, "it's Heath."

He looked at her intently, "what about Heath? I thought he went to see Doctor Merar today?"

"He did."

"Well, what did he say?" His voice came out more sharply than he intended as a bad feeling washed over him.

Her head dropped as she looked down at their joined hands, "oh Jarrod, he said Heath ..." she took a deep shuddering breath and raised her eyes to his, "he said Heath's heart was damaged in the accident and he's, he's..." Her silver head gave a negative shake and tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks.

He didn't need to hear the dreaded words to know what she meant, he could read it in her grief stricken eyes. He stood and pulled her up, wrapping her in an embrace and rubbing his hands over her back in a soothing gesture.

"Maybe he's wrong, maybe he's made a mistake."

She shook her head against his shoulder, "no Jarrod, he wouldn't say something like this unless he was absolutely positive, you know that." She looked up at him hopelessly, "he said we could take Heath to a specialist in San Francisco, but the diagnosis will still be the same."

"Come sit here and explain to me just what he said." He led her to the sofa and sat beside her.

By the time she had haltingly told him what Doctor Merar had said, he knew it was true. The pain Heath was having wasn't due to ribs that hadn't healed properly, they were a series of small attacks that would eventually culminate in his heart giving up the fight one day and stopping. The doctor had been waiting for a supply of Nitroglycerine to arrive from San Francisco and would have it in a couple of days. It would help when Heath had an attack, buy him more time and make it easier for him, but it wouldn't change the eventual outcome.

Jarrod's sat there holding his mother and trying to make sense of what was happening. His thought's went back to supper that night, the picture so vivid in his mind of Heath laughing and teasing Nick as he related the story Billy had told him about Nick moving the bags of feed to the other barn that day. Nick had caught his spurs in a piece of baler twine on the floor , lost his balance and toppled over, the bag of feed landing on top of him and as he finished telling the tale, Heath had fallen back in his chair exhausted from laughing. The image of his brother laying on the barn floor like a squashed bug with the bag of feed on top of him, arms and legs flailing in the air as he hollered for help was just too much for him.

Nick had just glared at him and snarled, "it wasn't that funny Heath." He pointed his knife at him. "I could have been seriously injured ya know. Ya might wanta' show a little sympathy here."

Heath had leaned over, put his arm around his brother and laid his forehead on Nick's shoulder. The show of sympathy was ruined however by the shaking shoulders and muffled laughter near his ear.

Jarrod looked down at the silver head laying on his shoulder, "you haven't told him yet, have you?"

Fresh tears started and she lifted her head, "oh Jarrod, how do I tell my son he's going to die? How do I do that?"

He cupped her cheek as she looked at him in desperation, "he has to know and soon Mother. I'll help you, but we have to tell him. It's his life after all and we don't have the right to keep this from him."

"I know Jarrod, we'll tell him tomorrow after supper. I just want one more day to see him happy."

"All right Mother."

He got up and poured them both large glasses of whiskey which sloshed over the sides as his hand shook. He handed her the glass and asked, "do Nick and Audra know?"

She gulped a healthy measure, "no, I'll tell them after we talk to Heath."

He sat beside her and stared at the fire, "I can't believe this is happening. He's too young, he hasn't even had a chance to live yet."

He put his arm around her shoulder's as they sat in numb silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

....Continued