Short Story's

Years ago I remember having a great problem separating myself from the things of life that hindered my walk with God. Although I worked in several ministries within the church, I still felt disconnected from the Father. I felt like a great disappointment and was convinced that His view of me was the same as mine. One day I was thinking on what I could do to make my relationship with Him better. After much thought I made a list of the things I felt hindered my relationship with Him and proceeded to replace them with more activities within the church. I got so caught up in this replacement process, trading one work for another that I was blinded to the real solution to my problem. I thought that I would be able to work my way back into His heart. After all, forsaking things in this world would please God, right? The more time I spent working in His house, the closer I would be to Him, right? That's what I thought! But what I didn't know was that giving up my worldly works for more spiritual works was not what was going to please God. Hebrews 11:6 tells us that, "But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that cometh to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him." You see I was seeking the works and not the God. During this time of works I was not praying, reading or studying the word God. One night while very weary from the works that I imposed upon myself, I heard His voice. He stated that "He desired obedience above sacrifice." As you have noticed, I was doing what I thought would draw me closer to God. I was trying to please God from an earthly understanding with my own works. Let me tell you, this did not work. God was calling me to draw nearer to Him through diligently seeking Him with faith not through the sacrifice of my time working in His house. Through this experience I learned that my thoughts on how a thing should be accomplished were not His thoughts. Once I stopped and sought to please Him as He has commanded me, then and only then did the feelings of being a great disappointment go away. That feeling was finally replaced by the deepest since of love I had ever felt in my life.

        As I think about what God has taught me, I realize that it is hard to narrow it down to just one thing.  Over the years He has taught me a lot, the problem is I have not been listening or obeying.  I recently got married in March of this year.   I had not been living a life that was pleasing to God.  I was in a place were I had had enough; my life had been chaotic for some time.  I have been going to church all of my life.  I thought that was enough. I was going to church faithfully.  But, not studying the Word of God and developing a relationship with Him.  So, I didn’t care if I was sinning or not.  I was living my life the way I wanted to and not the way a Godly Christian person should. 

       I found a new church home at Shepherd Folds Ministries. I have learned so much about the word of God and how to apply it to my life.  In my studying one night, something came over me and it just happened.  I felt such a desire to know God for myself.  The more I studied the Word the more I wanted to study.  But, there was one thing wrong, I kept feeling convicted all the time.  I wasn’t living right according to what I was studying in the Word of God.  I started praying and asking God what I should do in my life to get it right.  “I need your help!  I can’t do it by myself!”  I said.   He immediately said, “You now what you have to do, for one thing; quit play house with your ex-husband. If you are going to be with him, do it right and quit letting the devil tell you that you are better off living together    because; it didn’t work out the first couple of times.  Do what I commanded you to do and I will take care of the rest.”  I sat there for a moment, thinking; “Just do what I commanded…… I will take care of the rest.”  As I kept repeating those two lines.  Meditating on them and thinking Lord, am I suppose to marry this man again?  God said, “Yes or leave him alone.  You have to order your steps in my word, it’s so simple.” 

        I began searching the internet for the bible verse; order my steps in your word dear Lord.  The search engine took me to Psalms 119:133.  It stated; Order my steps in thy word: and let not any iniquity have dominion over me. Believe me, I already new I was living in sin. But it really hit me hard, when God told me.  I started reading other verses in that Psalm and it said in verses 130; “The entrance of they words giveth light, it giveth understanding to the simple.”  There it was; God said, “Its simple follow my commandments and trust my Word and I will do the rest”.

        My Husband and I have a long history over 20 years of getting together, breaking up, and getting back together and so on. The only difference between the first two times and this one is, back then, God wasn’t in it. I really wasn’t obeying his Word.  I let the devil control the situation every time we argued or something else went wrong.

        Now, that we have exchanged vows for the third time, and I am continuing to order my steps in his Word daily.  It has been wonderful.  You have to lean on God for understanding and let Him fight your battles.  You just count it all joy and He will give you peace in every situation that surpasses all understanding.  You need the wisdom and knowledge that comes from studying your Bible daily; it will make your relationship work.  It is hard to stick and stay no matter what happens in your marriage.  Believe me I know, I think about how we could be celebrating 20 years of marriage and not 20 years of confusion.  I only think about it for a moment and then praise God for the journey.  I thank Him that adultery and lust are not sins that I have to deal with ever again.  Now it can be my testimony, I can tell my story and possibly help someone else to stick and stay no matter what. Get your marriage right the first time.  Put God first and He will direct your path.

                                                                      May God Be Glorified,

                                                                      Minister Sheila Scruggs

                                                                      Shepherd’s Fold Ministries