381 things you learned from Star Wars
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1.Never trust men in dark helmets.
2.It really isn't necessary to be fluent in
over 6 million forms of communication.
3.When all else fails....jump!
4.Before kissing ANYBODY, make sure they're not
related to you.
5.Sometimes, you've just gotta do something
that seems totally suicidal.
6.If you are a young hero, nothing can kill
you.
7.Always check the background of people you
want to get intimately involved with; they may be your relatives.
8.You may have family members in surprisingly
high positions.
9.Before you kill someone, make sure they
aren't your father. (...and be sure to teach your children proper English.)
10.Watch out for Corellian freighters diving out of
the sun.
11.Know the difference between a power socket and a
computer terminal.
12.THIS one goes there, and THAT one goes there!
13.No matter how tasty that hunk of meat looks on
that pole on that forest moon, don't grab it; it's probably a trap. (Or: when you see a
piece of dead meat impaled on a stake in the woods, LEAVE IT!!!!!!!!!)
14.Cute, cuddly, widdle teddy bears usually will eat
you alive unless can prove you're a god.
15.Never stand on a trapdoor leading to a Rancor pit.
16.No disintegrations.
17.Fire on a rebel base *before* they blow up your
space station.
18.Don't assume a senior citizen is weak and frail;
they may zap you with lightning bolts.
19.Never, never, never underestimate the power of the
Dark Side.
20.You will find many of the truths we cling to
depend greatly on our own point of view.
21.No matter how deeply one falls into darkness,
there is always hope for redemption.
22.Just when you think there is no more hope, alas,
there is one more.
23.Never judge a "piece of junk" spaceship
from the outside. More often than not, "she's got it where it counts."
24.Beware of judging someone else's beliefs as just a
"hokey religion." You just may end up eating those words.
25.Never buy anything from a short, hooded, smelly
guy.
26.It's never my fault.
27.Never judge anything by its size.
28.There are those who are less forgiving than Darth
Vader.
29.It's not a lie, it's just someone else's point of
view.
30.Always let a Wookiee win.
31.Never cast your lightsaber away, you just might
need it.
32.It not a good idea to follow up on a vision while
meditating.
33.Nothing is ever too small to get away from you.
(R2 in ANH)
34.Whining about something never helps. (Toschi
Station in ANH)
35.Taking your droids to a bar will only arouse
suspicion. (ANH)
36.Don't leave your food out for others to eat.
(ROTJ)
37.Don't attempt to handcuff someone larger than you.
(Chewie in ANH) (Or: NEVER try to put binders on someone who is 7'2", big, furry and
has big teeth!!!)
38.It is not always necessary to ignore the annoying.
(3PO in ESB)
39.Always pay off your debts in a hurry.
40.If your in it just for the money, you might blow
your chances with the princess.
41.It is pointless to argue with family members.
(Owen in ANH)
42.In negotiations, a thermal detonator can come in
handy. (Or: Thermal detonators make bargaining so much easier; you usually get what you
want. Or: Never argue with someone who's holding a thermal detonator!
Or: Always carry a thermal
detonator when bargaining with a Hutt.)
43.Be cautious of "friends" offering
refreshments.
44.If some yells out "It's a trap!" then
believe them.
45.DON'T go in no CAVES!
46.Watch your hands when swordfighting.
47.Short green guys with big ears can be more than
they seem.
48.Wading around in a pool of garbage is infinitely
more preferable to getting killed.
49.Electricity really hurts.
50.The most important part of your spaceship is the
hyperdrive.
51.Maybe we SHOULD listen to the protocol droid just
this once...
52.Pay your debts on time, you can't always kill the
bill collector.
53.Walk in single file to hide your numbers.
54.When buying used appliances make sure they've been
totally mind-wiped... er... reconditioned.
55.When wearing stormtrooper armor, remember to make
sure the door's completely open before going through it.
56.Trust yourself.
57.Never tell someone the odds!
58.Never allow yourself to become as clumsy as you
are stupid.
59.Always accept apologies.
60.When offered promotion under duress, it might be
wise to make like a tree and get outta there!
61.Never trust a spokesman for an alcoholic malt
beverage. (Or: Don't trust people who appear in Colt .45 commercials. Or: NEVER accept an
invitation to have a drink or eat with Mr. Colt .45 himself--it may just be a setup.)
62.Hokey religions just might be a good substitute
for a blaster at your side.
63.Never let your friend know if you're having
problems with your droid.
64.Never assume that carbonating someone is "all
too easy". [Anyone for Han Soda and Wookiee Cookies?]
65.Never tell strange creatures in a bar that you'll
be careful.
66.Just when you think you're ready, you hit your
head.
67.When you protest about the terms of an agreement,
the terms might be altered further.
68.You never know what a day is gonna bring....
69.After spending several months in deep-freeze, your
vision will be blurry.
70.When in doubt, follow the garbage.
71.Size matters not (now there's one you can use in
real life!)
72.Never underestimate a teddy-bear.
73.Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.
74.Mind what you have learned, save you it can.
75.Even if it's a great shot, don't get cocky.
76.Don't intimidate, annoy, or otherwise attack any
kind of old man, or his friends, who has what appears to be a flashlight hanging from his
waist.
77.Never build a secret base in cold, arctic regions.
78.Be prepared for things to go wrong.
79.Never let a protocol droid try to fix your
ship!!!!
80.Never trust a strange computer.
81.You'll always have a bad feeling about something.
82.Don't park in asteroids.
83.Bacta cures all.
84.Don't try to make friends via the Death Star
com-link (Han Solo only).
85.Never proclaim your "moment of triumph"
before it actually happens.
86.If "the Force is strong in this one" and
you're not, BACK OFF!
87.The targeting computer is really a worthless piece
of junk compared to the Force.
88.The Dark Side is never irrevocable. (Ask Darth,
Mara, and Kyp)
89.Never say "watch this" when dealing with
a hyperdrive.
90.When bragging about how fast your car is, tell how
many "kilometers" you did the DC run in.....
91.Always change the negative power coupling before
going on long space voyages.
92.Remember to TURN ON YOUR COMLINK!!!!
93.Don't shoot out the controls to a bridge BEFORE
you cross the bridge. (Stupid farm boy!!!!!!)
94.Make sure to tell your lover that you have a
brother first.
95.Never tell a teacher who's been teaching for 800
years who to teach and who not to teach.
96."It's not my fault!!!"
97.Don't ever fake left; you'll lose a hand.
98.If you want to keep your friends warm, shove them
inside a dead animal!!
99.Never leave tools hanging over a friends head
unless the ship is parked.
100.If a droid sneaks up on you while you're kissing a
princess, ignore him.
101.When parking your spaceship, make sure you aren't in
the stomach of a huge worm-like monster.
102.If all else fails, angle the deflector shields.
103.Never buy droids.
104.If you ever buy droids, make sure they have a good
motivator.
105.If an R2 unit proves to have a bad motivator, do not
buy another one.
106.If you really have to buy one, then do NOT remove his
restraining bolt.
107.If, in spite of all that, you have removed the
restraining bolt, then you will have to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi like
your father. (Even if you only wanted to be a mere space pilot.)
108.Guys in black are bad guys.
109.Guys in white can also be bad guys (in this case, they
are called stormtroopers).
110.Beware of transparent or holographic persons, they will
always cause you trouble ("This droid must be safely delivered to Alderaan",
"You will go to the Dagobah system", "The son of Skywalker must not become
a Jedi,"...)
111.Watch out for those trees.
112.After toppling an altruistic democracy, seizing control
of the military, and establishing yourself as supreme dictator, it's a good idea to invest
in helmets that your troops can see through.
113.Always duck after throwing someone down a ventilation
shaft.
114.If you run a military academy, go over how to deal with
small, furry opponents.
115.Don't jump down garbage chutes.
116.If your father's clothes creak when he walks, be
diplomatic in his presence.
117.If you've "always known" that she's your
sister, you should really try not to touch her like that. For that matter, don't French
your brother.
118.Don't engage in physical displays of affection with
tall, hairy people who could rip you limb from limb and who get over-enthusiastic.
119.The hard part of a jail-break is getting out; plan for
it.
120.Always look for trap doors when consulting with a crime
lord in his own house.
121.Whining about power converters makes you look like an
idiot.
122.Don't buy used machinery from people dressed in rags,
you never know who might come looking for it.
123.Don't trust people who brag about the speed of their
vehicle to be subtle, and don't trust them with your sister, either.
124.NEVER do a Christmas special.
125.If you teach out of a swamp, you can't expect too much
in the way of tuition.
126.People who are "more machine now than human, evil
and twisted" set a pretty sparse table.
127.If you're idea of penetrating the enemy's defenses is
allowing yourself to be captured and attacking during your execution, you should probably
seek the advice of someone who's survived longer.
128.If somebody cuts your hand off, don't trust him to
betray his boss for you.
129.Young men should be wary of getting involved with
crazy, old hermits who like to be called "Master."
130.Dead animals usually smell worse on the INSIDE.
131.If you find Banthas, don't stick around to see where
their riders are.
132.Cold weather can cause one to hallucinate.
133.Don't go chasing falling meteors.
134.Make sure you always see where your enemy's hands are
(Greedo in ANH).
135.Blowing on a torch will not put it out.
136.Don't stick around to watch a fight.
137.Droids don't taste good.
138.Don't use technology you don't understand (Ewoks w/
AT-ST, speeder bike).
139.No matter how protected you are, falling rocks will
still hurt.
140.When following a roguish space pirate into the east
corridor (or wherever), step onto a plank when he
stops to listen to you so you'll be
a little taller.
141.Keep the Mynocks off the power cables and everything
will be fine.
142.Never trust strangers to fix the hyperdrive on your
freighter.
143.Never assume that that ship you just tractored into
your space station is empty, just because your sensors say so.
144.When the people around you are getting shot, it's
usually an indication that the guys shooting are bad guys.(take a look at the reactions of
the troopers in the cell bay in ANH)
145.Never try to rationalize strategy with an Ewok. Next
thing you know, they'll steal a speeder bike. Sure, it distracts the guards, but it takes
away from you sneaking in real quiet-like.
146.Never chain a Rebel to you and then take your eyes off
her; she may throttle you.
147.Aim your crippled fighter at the nearest Super Star
Destroyer's bridge.
148.Never assume responsibility if it means you're likely
to be choked to death.
149.That green glop your aunt serves you at dinner is good
for you. (ANH)
150.Don't talk to strangers in a dark room: they may have
blasters, and are looking to not be found (ESB).
151.Pray Lord Vader doesn't alter a deal any further than
he already has. Chances are he will, but arguing is a good way to get you killed.
152.When someone tells you you're walking into a trap...
believe them.
153.When your Tauntaun smells something, it's usually a
good time to high-tail it outta there.
154.Always convince your astromech droid to not try to
restraining green senior citizens with big ears; they may start banging on you with their
Gimer stick.
155.When someone says they knew your father was a great
warrior, it usually means something important. Take notice: they just gave you one hell of
a big hint about who they are. (sheesh, these farmboys today...)
156.Always allow your opponent to cut you down if it means
making things more dramatic.
157.When the guy from the previous rule gets cut down, try
not to stand around screaming. Try blasting something... like a door.
158.Don't turn your back on the parent of the kid you're
zapping with lightning bolts.
159.If the guy you love announces he's leaving, don't say
something like "That's right."
160.Make sure you aren't so fat you can't get away from an
exploding Sail Barge.
161.If your translator droid pisses you off, just plug him
into the hyperdrive. Either that or just shut him off.
162.Try not to fly side-by-side when flying through a
narrow passage. (ANH & ESB)
163.If you've got a malfunction, you can't do much good to
anyone, so clear out of the attack on that giant space station.
164.When someone tells you to eject, it's probably a good
idea.
165.Never try to blast a garbage compactor's walls -- they
are magnetically sealed!!!!!
166.I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee!!!
167.Don't ever leave without giving a goodbye kiss!!!!!
168.If someone tries to roast you over an open fire -- try
to blow it out.
169.Let go of your conscious self and rely on instinct!!!!
170.The target area is ONLY two meters wide!!!!!
171.Pay off your debts ASAP.
172.Never underestimate the powers of any Jedi (or the
Force for that matter).
173.(Corollary to previous rule) If a Jedi offers you a
bargain, TAKE IT!!
174.You shouldn't always listen to your parents.
175.When having your hyperdrive fixed, you should always
check it to make sure the work has actually been done.
176.Sometimes it is smart to listen to little green
Muppets.
177.You really should fire on lifepods whether there are
signs of life or not (to stormtroopers only).
178.When a Hutt tells you that your Jedi mind tricks won't
work, believe him.
179.When you say that you are "ready for
anything," actually be ready for anything (like two guys trying to pick a fight).
180.If your ship is bigger than a city, don't bring it into
an asteroid field.
181.Don't give in to your anger.
182.Grasping at your throat will not stop the choking.
183.Freezing people in liquid carbonite makes a good wall
decoration.
184.Never torture a power droid...
185.You should always have a co-pilot that speaks a
language that only you understand.
186.Don't taunt those on the Dark Side of the Force.
187.Sometimes it is better not to apologize or take the
blame.
188.Make sure that you can see clearly before firing a
blaster.
189.When pulled over by "the man", simply say,
"You don't need to see his identification. These aren't the droids you're looking
for. Move along." It works everytime, I guarantee it!!!
190.If you ever build a throne room, NEVER put a great big
shaft leading to a big nuclear reactor right in the center of the room.
191.Never make your droids OR your sister do your dirty
work!!!
192.It is not wise to upset a Wookiee.
193.A party of two can be very effective in chasing down a
squad of stormtroopers.
194.When you are told to close the blast doors, DON'T DO
IT!
195.Away put your weapon, I mean you no harm.
196.When rescuing someone formulate an escape plan before
you attempt the rescue.
197.No reward is worth rescuing a girl, princess or not,
who leads you into garbage and calls your best friend and first mate a "walking
carpet".
198.Never trust anyone when they say, "The hyperdrive
is fixed!"
199.If you have the money, stop telling Jabba and just pay
him.
200.Never accept a job that reports directly to Darth
Vader.
201.Armor just makes you easier to hit.
202.Get in that chute, flyboy!
203.Buying someone a drink won't stop them from trying to
fight you.
204.Judge someone by their grammar you should not.
205.An entire planet could have only one climate (Tatooine,
Hoth, Endor).
206.Beware of tremors in the Force.
207.Protocol droids are lousy story tellers.
208.Apparently one human would be able to feed an entire
tribe of Ewoks.
209.It's difficult to send a clear transmission in an
asteroid field.
210.When travelling at intense speeds, don't turn around an
look behind you.
211.A lightsaber can cut through anything (from Tauntaun to
AT-AT).
212.The Force can influence the weak-minded.
213.The handle of a lightsaber looks an awful lot like a
flashlight.
214.Even in a galaxy far, far away... Tupperware is still
being used. (ANH)
215.Try not to get caught under the legs of an AT-AT.
216.Imperial probe droids have a self-destruct mechanism.
217.If you do not believe, you will always fail.
218.Tennis shoes make great fighting ships. (ROTJ)
219.Stormtroopers seem to have inferior training and armor.
220.Everything has a weakness, it's just a matter of
exploiting it:
Emperor - overconfident
Luke
- faith in his friends
Death
Star - thermal exhaust port
Stormtroopers - Ewoks
Star
Destroyers - bridge deflector shields
Darth
Vader - compassion for his kids
Leia
- smugglers
Chewie - dead animals hanging from trees
Threepio - frail body
221.Bottom line, the first time you fight your father, he
IS going to kick your sorry ass.
222.When flying objects come at you from behind, for Pete's
sake, DUCK!!!!!!
223.When stealing a skiff, MAKE SURE it's the one with the
magnetic thingies on the bottom!!!
224.If you are ever in a duel, and you get in a tight spot,
grab the nearest pipe and blow smoke in their face -- never fails.
225.Learn Ubese, you never know when you might need it!!!!
226.Blasting a prison into a ballistic trajectory as a
means of escape is not a good idea. (HSASE)
227.If you get an unwanted phone call, shoot the phone.
228.Never let Mr. GQ smooth borrow your vehicle, especially
after he says "not a scratch".
229.If you build a Death Star and some farm boy blows it
up, just build a new one!!!!!!!
230.If you see a small blue elephant at a party, you
haven't necessarily drunk too much.
231.Watch out for stormtroopers that are a little short.
232.Your Tauntaun'll freeze before you reach the first
marker.
233....But if so, then I'll see you in hell!
234.The middle of a raging battle for the fate of the
galaxy is no time for heroics.
235.A ill-trained, uncoordinated, rabble with obsolete
ships and weapons (Rebels) would always beat well equipped, superbly trained and
numerically superior forces (Empire). :)
236.Boys from backwater farming planets are better shots
then Imperial stormtroopers.
237.When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will
not.
238.When in doubt, go in full throttle.
239.Beware those heart-to-heart talks with Dad. One of you
might end up losing an appendage.
240.When sending troops out to a jungle world, MAKE SURE
they are all wearing black and white, so nobody can see them.
241.Adventure, excitement, a Jedi craves not these things!
242.Try not to look to the future, keep your mind on where
you are and what you are doing.
243.Don't ever give any lip to an old man who has yellow
eyes and shoots lightning out of his own body.
244.Never say to someone, "where are you taking this
-- THING -- ?" because the next thing you know, you're flying across the room.
245.Stay on target!!!!
246.Keep your distance, but don't LOOK like you're trying
to keep your distance. (In other words, fly casual.)
247.When purchasing a protocol droid, remember, at some
point some assembly may be required.
248.When based on an ice planet, don't turn on the thermal
heaters.
249.Never travel the Jundland Wastes lightly.
250.Never stand at the edge of a step when an R2 unit turns
on its holo projector.
251.Never be next to Han Solo when you are trapped in a
garbage compactor, cockpit of the MF while in a space slug, or when shot at the back
entrance of a shield control center.
252.Never listen to your squad commander when he tells you
to "stay on target" and Darth Vader is chasing you in a TIE fighter.
253.It is a good idea to have a wing man named
"Janson".
254.If you are a droid, be sure to have your deactivator
put on your front side, not behind your neck.
255.Always follow the advice of an aide with long
sideburns.
256.If you only knew the power of the dark side, you would
not have been in this ridiculous position!
257.Make sure your first catch of the day isn't backed up
by a really big ion cannon.
258.Don't be thinking about your sister during a big fight
with Dad.
259.The galaxy is ruled by GONK (or, at least
rec.arts.sf.starwars is ruled by GONK).
260.Make sure your rocket pack isn't set to go off at the
slightest touch before leaping into battle.
261.When you're with a woman you like, never get too
obnoxious, or she'll French the next nearest guy (even if it's her brother).
262.No matter how cool a guy's helmet looks, push him off a
high place and he'll scream like a girl.
263.Travel through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops.
264.Bury your feelings deep. (They do you credit, but they
could be made to serve the Emperor.)
265.Your insight serves you well.
266.Try to keep a little optimism -- especially if you're
endangering a mission that you shouldn't have come on.
267.Just "hold on" when your pilot tells you to.
(Dak didn't hold on. Look what happened to him!)
268.Remember, your strength flows from the Force.
269.Once you start down the Dark Path, forever will it
dominate your destiny.
270.You can't escape your destiny.
271.If you buy equipment out of the back of a guy's
vehicle, chances are, someone will come looking for it.
272.If you buy stolen equipment, make damn sure it can't be
traced to you.
273.Cool costume + Bare minimum of screen time = Eternal
popularity
274.The only thing worse than working for a Hutt crimelord
is working for a Dark Lord of the Sith.
275.When rescuing a princess, insist on payment in advance.
276.When chasing X-wings down trenches, look behind you in
case their friends help them.
277.When a Wookiee says he smells something scary, believe
him.
278.Fly only ships that have harpoon cable shooters in the
front. (ESB)
279.Be sure your ship uses "quick release" seat
belts. (ESB)
280.Fly only X-wings that float in case you land in a
swamp. (ESB)
281.Do your explaining BEFORE you remove the handcuffs off
of a Wookiee. (ESB)
282.Fly your speeder bike ABOVE the trees in a forest.
(ROTJ)
283.Leave the spying to Bothans. (ROTJ)
284.Old Jedi never die, they just fade away.
285.Never scream when a friend evaporates, and you're
trying to secretly make it back to a smuggler's ship.
286.Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our
own point of view.
287.You must do what you feel is right.
288.Watch that crossfire, boys!!!
289.Always get them to put their hands ON the table....
290.Go to the escape shuttle when told that "The
attack plan has been analysed, and there is a risk".
291.Make sure the asteroid is entirely stable before you
land your ship on it.
292.Do not ever be late with payments!
293.Smuggling compartments can also be great sub-lets.
294.You cant estimate anything that deals with the Force.
295.Do or do not... there is no try.
296.Patience... you must have patience!
297.Don't question the ability of rocks and sticks to kill
with.
298.Sometimes you don't have to say "I love you".
299.Nothing can happen without a Bothan spy dying.
300.It's never your fault.
301.Never underestimate the power of the dark side.
302.These ARE the droids you are looking for, you idiots!
303.If you ever fall into a murky swamp with strange things
swimming in it, make sure you're made of metal.
304.When you're kissing the princess, lock the door.
305.Sandpeople always ride single file to hide their
numbers, and they are rather inaccurate with blasters.
306.Remember to keep the lead actress's character name and
real name straight!!
307.You must feel the Force flowing through you. Let go of
your feelings.
308.Try no to park your Chariot LAV under a stone structure
that can be toppled by a lightsaber. (HTTE)
309.When attempting to launch a rock by twirling it over
your head, then releasing it, be sure you know how to do it right (note to Wicket in
ROTJ).
310.Those robot mice are pests. Trap them in mousetraps and
save yourself the hassle. Bits and bytes make good bait.
311.Even if the Old Man does tell you to leave his throne
room, it's usually a good idea to stick around, out of sight: you never know when someone
will throw him down a large shaft. (note to Royal Guards)
312.Don't try storming an Imperial base unless all of the
troopers have been accounted for.
313.Stay away from crazy old hermits.
314.Don't argue with your friends when they tell you to get
into an escape pod.
315.Don't use targeting computers; rely on the voice of an
old man inside your head.
316.When fighting a Corellian, 10 to 1 odds aren't in your
favour. (ANH)
317.When your protocol droid tries to tell you there is
something wrong with your YT-1300 freighter, listen to them.
318.If all else fails, drive headlong into an asteroid
field.
319.When your shield generator is hit, intensify forward
shields a.s.a.p.: you never know when a ship may crash into your bridge.
320.Get on board the Executor if possible. Chances are Lord
Vader will choke your superior to death and give you the job.
321.Never call bounty hunters scum when they're within
earshot.
322.A protocol droid who says he's not much of a
storyteller is a liar. (remember C-3PO in ANH when he's in the oil bath, then in the Ewok
village in ROTJ)
323.Make sexually tilted lines whenever possible.
"Look at the size of that thing!"
324.Adjoinder to previous: Cut the chatter, Red Two.
325.Humans roasted over an open fire make for great feasts.
326.You can't beat the speed of light. (Gallandro in
HSATLL)
327.The Force can have a strong influence on the
weak-minded.
328.When someone tells you that you look good enough to
pull the ears off a gundark, your sister will kiss you with tongue shortly
thereafter!!!!!!
329.When two real scary guys in a bar (who look like they
fell out of the ugly tree and hit EVERY branch on the way down) tell you they don't like
you, RUN!!!!!!!
330.Wampas blend in really, really well with snow.
331.You should always listen to a Jedi master when they
tell you something; they probably know what they are talking about.
332.Corollary to above: Even Jedi can make mistakes
sometimes.
333.It is impossible for a computer to hit a target that is
only two meters wide.
334.When someone who is 900 years old tells you that
twilight is upon him -- BELIEVE IT!!!!! And don't tell him he can't die, especially if
he's been training Jedi for 800 years. (He probably knows his business.)
335.Don't EVER state that you're a consular ship on a
diplomatic mission!
336.When you see a TIE heading for a small moon, GET THE
HELL OUT!
337.When getting a job, you should make sure that you
dislike your boss. Your father is going to throw him down a shaft, anyway.
338.When somebody offer you money and you demand $10,000,
DON'T accept it if they offer $2000 in cash and $15,000 later!
339.When bringing a suspected Rebel ship into the hangar of
your Star Destroyer, close the door.
340.Never trust a droid who asks you to remove the
restraining bolt.
341.Never buy second-hand droids.
342.Droids are NOT good babysitters.
343.Sabacc sucks!
344.If she's got red hair, look out!
345.If you want to exterminate Jedi Knights, be thorough!
346.Never trust a clone (unless he's green [Dorsk 81]).
347.Never trust anybody with two "U"'s in their
name.
348.Smugglers are really nice guys.
349.Mining is always a bad idea (Lando Calrissian, only).
350.Jedi Knights tend to lose consciousness. (Luke in
Courtship, Dark Apprentice, Children of the Jedi, Darksaber...)
351.Star Destroyers are easy to blow up.
352.Keep an eye on your kids! (see also #342).
353.Never let Mark Hamill open a packet of refreshers (ref
to an advertising campaign for a sweet in the UK).
354.When several creatures approach from the south east,
never "have a look".
355.If living on Tatooine, be sure you can impersonate a
Krayt dragon.
356.Never go in without a plan.
357.Never get a princess angry.
358.Never go into a cave unless you know it's not
something's mouth.
359.If you foresee your destruction in the hands of a Jedi,
ignore everything else you can foresee and destroy him the first chance you get!
360.Some of us are apparently Empire fans for a variety of
strange reasons.
361.Eventually, there will be a Star Wars re-release that
everyone will unconditionally love. And it will have the Biggs scenes.
362.General, Admiral -- same thing!
363.You never know when family connections will come in
handy.
364.When you are getting shot at by stormtroopers and
AT-STs, it's not a good time for foreplay!
365.When you're walking through the corridors of some
Imperial installation and you hear a little "beep" at your feet, get out of the
way! (Dark Forces)
366.Always make sure your approach vector is set.
367.If you are a reckless hero...21B (Too-Onebee) is your
best friend.
368.Little control bunkers can create one really cool
explosion.
369.You can fly an X-wing while fireworks are being shot
off. (ROTJ)
370.When in the presence of short aliens, keep an eye on
your droid or it might be stolen (Jawas), melted down (Ugnaughts), taunted (Yoda), or
worshipped as a god (Ewoks).
371.Oh, and if you can make sure your phone number is:
326-3827. (get that one if you can!)
372.There is no such thing as a "stock" light
freighter.
373.Never tell a guy to "Freeze!" while standing
in front of a deep shaft.
374.Every aspiring young Jedi must pass through the
"dork" phase.
375.Good will always win... because it's supposed to!
376.Make sure you train all of your officers at the School
of Veddy Proper Queen's English.
377.Never EVER talk back to your boss, especially if he's a
seven-foot-tall black-clad voice-like-painful-death Dark Lord of the Sith.
378.Any character portrayed by an extra won't get to hit
anything, and probably doesn't live very long.
379.If you want to kill the Emperor, be sure to wipe out
all of his clone bodies along with the Emperor himself.
380.When in doubt, don't shoot...just leave the place!!
(ESB, in slug's mouth)
381.Don't sneak up on a Force-user; you'll get caught.