6/1/1999

Today my Uncle Bustopher Jones gave me this diary for a present. He said that he hadn’t been paying much attention to me, because he has been dating that one queen lately, and I think her name is Magestine (boy, you can imagine how mad Jennyanydots is). When BJ starts feeling bad about something for me, he always buys me a present. So much to my surprise, he hands me this electronic pocket diary and says, “Mistoffelees, my boy, now you can keep track of your days as a kitten. Spend your kitten days wisely, because before you know it you’re an old geezer like me.” So I said to him, “Uncle, I’m a teen, not a kitten.” I like to make sure people don’t mistaken me for a little kitten. I am, in fact, a teen. But I’m also little. So everyone is always thinking I’m a kitten, even my own uncle. Anyway, Bustopher just waves his hand and says, “Just make sure you keep good track of that. It’s high tech and voice activated, so only you can open it with your voice.” Then he went off to have dinner with Magestine.

Who knows where my crazy uncle gets stuff like this? Sometimes I wonder if he actually hired Mungojerrie to steal it for him or if he stole it himself. But he’s my uncle, and I gotta trust him. He swears he found it in the garbage outside some rich person’s home, but it still works just fine.

Electra was spying on me and tried to steal it. Well… she did steal it from me, but she couldn’t open it. After all, it is voice activated. So she just kinda tossed it aside and it hit one of the trashcans and bounced away. I was mad because I thought she broke it, so I conjured a mud puddle right in front of her. Lucky for her, she totally avoided it. I really gotta stop using my powers for revenge and because I’m mad at someone. But when I went up to her and admitted what I did and apologized, she just glared at me and hissed.

As I sat there, confused, watching her flounce away, Victoria came up behind me. “She’s just jealous of all the cool stuff Bustopher gives you,” she told me. Then she grinned. “And I hear she likes you.”

Well, I was just shocked. It was funny, in a way, because everyone knew that I liked Victoria, except Victoria herself. I also heard that Victoria likes me but won’t admit it. I just am too shy I guess to tell her I like her. But even though the only guy I told I liked Victoria was Pouncival, I kept hearing everyone talking about it. (I just gotta stop trusting Pounce with my secrets! That weirdo always ends up blabbing it to everyone he can. I wouldn’t be surprised if he already told Victoria herself, but she showed no signs of knowing anything)

HI THIS IS TUGGER I AM COOL!!!!!!!

No way man I am cooler

Arrhhh, Tugger and Tumblebrutus got hold of this diary. I must have left it open, because there’s no WAY they could get into it. It’s voice activated. Oh man, I hope they didn’t read anything…

Mistoffelees

6/2/1999

Ha ha! Today I figured out Tugger’s weakness! Let me explain: Tugger wasn’t in his lair that afternoon, because he was out taking Bombalurina somewhere. So Pouncival and I decided we were going to go snooping around in his place. Pounce was kinda unsure, so I said to convince him, “Don’t worry, that’ll serve him right for poking through my diary, anyway.” Then Pouncival smiled and said, “At least it was your diary and not mine.” So I just rolled my eyes at him and told him to come on. We made sure nobody was watching us, and we snuck into Tugger’s lair. I only felt slightly guilty, because Tugger was always going through my stuff too.

As you can imagine, it was totally messy in there. Except for one little corner, that had a beat-up old child’s vanity table. Oh yeah, I thought. I got that thing for him for his birthday, didn’t I? While Pouncival was digging through the mess on the floor, I hopped on top of the vanity table. Right there, sitting smack dab in the middle, was a half full bottle of styling jell and a comb missing some of its teeth. “Hey Pounce, come over here and see this!” I exclaimed. Pouncival looked up. I showed him the styling jell and the comb. “So what?” he said. “It’s just styling jell and a comb…” Then he stopped as he realized what he just said. “It’s Tugger’s weakness!” I cried, maybe a little too loud, because Jemima came over here to see what I was hollering about. “Hi Mistoffelees,” she said, like she thought we were up to something.“ Oh… hey Jemima,” I said. She stood there silent for a while, then said, “What are you doing here?” I exchanged a look with Pouncival. “Well… we were just,” he stammered. “We…”

“We were just leaving,” I broke in. “Yeah, we came in here to put his stuff back that he let me borrow.” And it wasn’t a lie, either. He had let me borrow pair of binoculars when I was kinda bird watching for some reason you don’t need to know. But Tugger didn’t need to know that. So I set the binoculars on the vanity table, and leaped out through a hole in the wall. So we didn’t get to take Tugger’s styling jell, but if we did he’d be really mad anyway, and probably read my diary. That's one reason we didn't take it. Another one is that we chickened out.

But at least now I know his weakness!

Mistoffelees

6/3/1999

Well, after that little incident with Tugger’s styling jell and Jemima catching us red handed (not exactly red handed, but red pawed! Ha! Get it?), there was nothing much to do. So today I left the junkyard for a while. You know, to do a little exploring. I wandered around for a long time until I reached this alley place. Hey, I was bored, so I just kinda wandered right into the alley. I don’t know what I was looking for, maybe something to do. Then I saw this little black and white kitten curled up inside a cardboard box. She looked so pitiful, so dirty and tired and so… so… not loved and cared for. I guess I stared and her too long because she must have felt my eyes in her back. She turned around and stared back at me. “Who are you?” she asked softly. She was shaking, like she was afraid that I was one of those tough alley cats who came to beat her up. “I’m Mistoffelees,” I told her, not yet ready to reveal my powers to a stranger. She blinked once, and I saw that she was crying. “Could you please leave?” she said simply. So I listened to her and left. Come on, she was an alley cat! You don’t just say no to an alley cat, even if she’s just a kitten. Now I wish I had stayed to figure out what was wrong with her. Maybe I’ll go back tomorrow.

Oh yeah… Jemima told Tugger that Pounce and me were going through his stuff. So Tugger cornered me and squirted me in the eye with his styling jell. It still stings.

Mistoffelees

6/4/1999

That black and white kitten I saw yesterday is so stubborn! Yes, I went back to her lair again today. I asked right away if she was okay. She snapped at me. Man, that girl got guts overnight. I tried my best to be polite to her but I guess I got just a little too nosy. Oh yeah, she said that her mother told her to never trust Jellicles, especially Jellicles like me. I’m just going to have to let my trust grow on her, and hopefully she’ll eventually trust me.

Mistoffelees

6/5/1999

I decided to tell Victoria about the black and white kitten in the alley. I guess I thought tomorrow when I go back maybe I’ll be able to convince her to trust me by getting her to talk to another female kitten. I thought that she’d be able to talk to Victoria more easily than she could talk to me.

So I went to Victoria’s lair in the junkyard. She lives with, of course, her mother Jennyanydots and her sister Jemima in the trunk of the car. Jenny wasn’t home when I went there but Jemima and Victoria were. Jemima was sleeping, mumbling about crocheting in her sleep. Victoria was staring at her, shaking her head and laughing. “Oh, hey Misto,” she said when she noticed me. “Jemima must be having a nightmare about crocheting!” she joked. I put my front paws on the edge of the trunk and peered in. “She must,” I said absently. “Listen, Victoria? I need to talk to you. Can you come here?” Victoria nodded and leaped out of the trunk. I led her to a place in the junkyard where nobody could hear us. “So what is it?” she asked. I told her all about my visits to the alley and meeting the kitten. I told her about how I thought the kitten needed our help, but she needed someone to trust first. Victoria seemed delighted to help. “Why don’t we go now?” she suggested. But I refused to go today. “Let the kitten think she won,” I insisted. “Then tomorrow we can surprise her by showing up.” Victoria frowned at me. “I don’t know. Will it work?” All I said was, “I hope so.”

Oh yes, Munkustrap told me that Bustopher showed up here the other day. He said that he was worried sick over me! That guy is unbelievable. I guess I should be glad that he worries so much. That means there will always be someone to protect me. (I also heard that Pounce and Tumble both got lollipops that were meant for ME! Unfair)

Mistoffelees

6/6/1999

Today, just as planned, I brought Victoria with me to see that black and white kitten. Victoria was a little uneasy about venturing into the alley, but she eased up when I told her that I had been there a couple times already. So together we walked down the alley. But only about halfway down I stopped. The black and white kitten was already there. I could tell she had been walking out of the alley, but she stopped when she saw me. There was surprise in her eyes. “Oh,” she said. “You again. What are you doing”—But she stopped when she saw Victoria. “Oh!” she said, almost happily. “Hi. And what are you two doing here?”

I smiled to myself. It was working! I could tell the little kitten was already acting more polite. “We just came to see you and to talk to you,” I answered. The kitten looked confused. “You came all the way here just to talk to me?” She seemed a little pleased. “Yes,” I said. “I… we have a few questions.” The kitten nodded. “Okay. Fine. You win. Come follow me to my lair and we can talk there.” So Victoria and I followed the kitten to the back of the alley and into her lair.

I could tell she had redecorated a little. It seemed a little homier than it had been the last time I was there. The kitten stopped and offered us to sit down on her pillows. We did. She sighed and sat down on the blanket, which served as the ground. “Now, what do you want?” she asked. Victoria took over. “First of all,” she said, “Could we please have your name?” The kitten looked up, startled. “My name?” she repeated. “Which one?” Victoria and I exchanged a glance. Only Jellicles have more than one name. So maybe this kitten’s parents had been Jellicles after all!

“How about your second name?” said Victoria gently. “We wouldn’t want you to reveal your third name.” The kitten shook her head. “No, you wouldn’t. Well… my mother always called me Saphinora. And when I actually had an owner, I was called Spark. So now you know my first and my second names.” Victoria smiled. “Thank you, Saphinora,” she said. “I’m Victoria and the black and white tom who’s been visiting you for the past couple of days is Mistoffelees.” “No,” said Saphinora suddenly. “His name isn’t just Mistoffelees. His full name is Magical Mister Mistoffelees.”

Now this surprised me. I hadn’t told the kitten my entire name. Had I? No, I had promised myself that I wouldn’t reveal my powers to a stranger. “How do you know that?” I asked hesitantly. Saphinora avoided my gaze. “My… my mother told me all about you and Jellicles. She… she told me never to trust you.” She looked me back in the eye. “But she was wrong! You have been so nice to me for the last few days, and I’m shown you nothing but rudeness.” She looked away again.

Victoria got up and walked over to her. “It’s okay,” she said softly. “I know all you were trying to do was listen to your instincts and your mother. But for whatever reason, your mother was wrong. You can trust me, Saphinora.” The kitten turned back and stared at Victoria. “Thanks for being so nice to me,” she said, smiling. That was the first time I had ever seen that kitten smile. And I was glad that she was finally seeing what happiness was.

Mistoffelees

6/7/1999

Victoria and I didn’t go back to Saphinora’s lair today. Instead we decided to ask Munkustrap an important question…

Victoria and I talked about it when we got back to the junkyard yesterday. We finally made up our minds: we were going to ask Old Deuteronomy if he would be willing to accept Saphinora into the Jellicles. But we thought we should ask Munkustrap first. Luckily he was sitting on the tire, talking with Alonzo about something. Victoria and I walked up to him. “Hey, Munku?” I called out. “Could we please talk to you… alone?” Munkustrap glanced at Alonzo. Alonzo nodded and left. “Okay,” said Munkustrap. “Why don’t you come up here and talk to me?”

So that’s what we did. I decided to break the ice. “Do you know if it’s possible to accept anyone else into the Jellicles?” I asked. Munkustrap looked surprised. “Well,” he said, “I guess so. What do you have in mind?” I exchanged a look with Victoria. She nodded and said, “For the past three or four days, Misto has been visiting an alley cat,” she explained. “And she’s not your typical alley cat, either. She has spirit, and she’s really very nice once you get to know her. She’s only about two or three months younger than me, but a little older than Jemima.” She looked at Munkustrap with pleading eyes. “Can you please accept her into the Jellicles? She’s so alone, and she doesn’t even have her parents. She has no one.”

Munkustrap looked thoughtful. “I’ll see what I can do. Why don’t you bring her to the junkyard tomorrow? Maybe I can arrange something with Old Deuteronomy.” Victoria smiled brightly. “Oh, thank you Munku!” she cried happily. “You won’t regret this. She’s really a great cat to have. And she’s my friend.” Munkustrap smiled back. “A friend of a friend is always welcome here.”

I think that was Munkustrap’s way of saying that Saphinora was definitely going to become a Jellicle.

Mistoffelees

6/8/1999

Victoria and I went back to Saphinora’s lair today to see if she could come to the junkyard. But we didn’t get there until almost sunset. Victoria was stuck helping Jennyanydots train her mice, and she wasn’t free to go until almost 9:30. It’s summer, so the sun doesn’t start to set until, well, 9:30. So we had to hurry or we might get stuck at Saphinora’s place for the night. When we got there she seemed overjoyed to see us. I felt really happy, like I was making a difference in Saphinora’s life. At first she was hesitant to come with us because it was so dark, but Victoria and I manage to convince her. She seemed greatly touched when we asked her if she wanted to become a Jellicle cat. Her eyes grew real wide and she cried, “Yes!” So Victoria led her back to the junkyard. I told them I’d be along in a minute. Saphinora had been so excited, she forgot to bring her journal with her. At least, I think it was her journal. She was scribbling in it when Victoria and I arrived. And I knew how much my journal meant to me, so I went and retrieved it for her. I thought that maybe she’d want to write in it when she and Victoria got to the junkyard so the day would be fresh in her memory. So I picked up this rusty old flashlight and ran back to the junkyard a different way so I wouldn’t run into them. I ran into Pouncival’s place and yelled, “Batteries! I need ‘em! Quick!”

Pouncival must have been sleeping because he jumped ten feet in the air. “Jeez Misto!” he shouted, rubbing his bumped head. “What’s the deal with batteries?” I glanced at the flashlight I held. “Uh… they’re for a friend,” I said to him. Pouncival scowled and glared at me. “Why don’t you go bug Tugger about your stupid batteries? I need my beauty sleep so I’m all ready to do my flips in the morning.” I gave Pounce a “look”. “I know you have batteries, so hand them over.” I aimed my paw at him. “Don’t make me use the lightning bolts.”

Even though I was just kidding, Pounce yelped. “Yikes! Dude, don’t fry me, man. Okay, okay! I’ll get your dumb batteries.” He dug around in his mess of… well, it was certainly a mess, and he certainly dug around in it. I don’t know what it was a mess of, though. He flung something at me, nearly hitting me in the head. “Here you go. Go have fun with your batteries. And leave me ALONE.”

I picked up the batteries and tried to put them in the flashlight. Luckily, Pounce had selected AA batteries, and they fit. As I was walking away from his lair, I turned and said, “Hey, Pounce? I was only joking about the lightning bolts.” Then, laughing, I jogged over to Victoria’s place with the flashlight and Saphinora’s journal.

They were already in the trunk of the car. Jemima was sound asleep, Victoria was nowhere to be seen, and Saphinora was laying there, looking annoyed. She was staring at the snoring Jemima. “Snore louder, why don’t ya,” she grumbled. She turned around and found herself face to face with me. “Mistoffelees!” she cried happily. “Hi! Um… where’s Victoria? She got up to go do something and she hasn’t come back yet.” I shook my head. “I don’t know.” I put the journal and the flashlight up on the car trunk. “Here,” I said softly. “I thought you might want it.”

Her eyes lit up when she saw what I had brought. “Thanks,” she whispered. She smiled. “Thanks so much.” I turned to walk over to my lair in the pipe, when she called out to me again. “Mistoffelees!” she said, I turned back around. “Yes?” I asked. She cocked her head at me. “You didn’t read anything, did you?” she asked cautiously. I shook my head. “I would never.” “Oh,” she said. “Just making sure.” So I walked back over to my pipe.

I’m beginning to wish I had kept the flashlight to myself. I’m writing in the moonlight right now, and it’s getting very hard to see. The only other light is the light from the car trunk where Saphinora is happily writing. Nah. She deserves some special treatment. I’m willing to make a few sacrifices.

Wow, Saphinora sure has changed. She’s gone from being a shy kitten, to a rude alley cat, to a gracious and kind and respectful almost-Jellicle. I think I’m beginning to like Saphinora as a friend.

Mistoffelees

P.S. I forgot to mention this: yesterday Bustopher gave me this ENORMOUS lollipop! It takes up almost all of my precious pipe. I don’t know how I’m going to finish it all. Maybe I’ll let my best friend, Skimble have a lick.

6/9/1999

Saphinora slept so long today I thought she would never wake up! She was all curled up in the trunk of the car, totally zonked out. When Jemima woke up, she looked around and noticed Saphinora. “What is SHE doing here?” she squealed. “Mother! MOTHER! There is an ALLEY CAT in MY bed!” Jennyanydots came running over to tend to the cares of her youngest. “Hush now, or you’ll wake our guest,” she said softly. Jemima looked horrified. “Our GUEST?” she cried in disbelief. Jenny nodded. “Yes, she is our guest, and she will soon be a Jellicle too,” she explained. “Now let her sleep. The poor dear looks like she hasn’t seen sleep for days!” Jemima widened her eyes and stared over at Saphinora. "She is going to be a Jellicle?” she repeated. Then she walked off, muttering to herself. I don’t think Jemima and Saphinora got off to a very good start, even though Saphinora wasn’t awake to know that!

While Saphinora slept, I played cards with Tumble and Pounce. I won every time, of course. They accused me of using my powers and I said, “Look you guys, I wouldn’t cheat. Believe me!” But they didn’t believe me. So they ran off to go bug my poor uncle for another of those mountain-sized lollipops.

It was around 3:30 when Saphinora finally woke up. Victoria had been staying by her side so that when she woke up she wouldn’t panic when she found herself alone. Victoria took Saphinora to me, and we gave the kitten the grand tour of the junkyard.

Not many of the Jellicles were around the junkyard today. The only ones Saphinora got to meet were Jennyanydots, Jellylorum, Etcetera, Electra, Cassandra, Rumpleteazer and Mungojerrie, and finally, Munkustrap and Old Deuteronomy. Jemima was nowhere to be found. I figured she was probably off sulking somewhere. Jenny and Jelly… wow, you should have seen them flatter and coo over the confused Saphinora. We finally got them away from her and took her to go meet everyone else. Etcetera and Electra weren’t paying too much attention because they were stalking this little brown field mouse, but they did pause to say “Hi.” Cassandra didn’t say much, just the usual welcome-to-the-tribe kind of thing. But Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer were surprisingly nice to her. Rumple immediately started treating Saphinora like she was one of her best friends. Mungo smiled and offered to swipe her a candy bar as a treat (it turns out he didn’t, but hey, it’s the thought that counts). Then we took Saphinora to Munkustrap and Old D. Old Deuteronomy seemed very nice and welcoming, and Munkustrap acted very polite. Old D said that Saphinora would have a total of six weeks before she would be fully accepted into the tribe. He assigned me to set up a series of tests for her now and then along those six weeks. The tests have to test her Jellicle skills. I’ll be so glad when those six weeks are up because from now until then, Saphinora is balancing dangerously between becoming a Jellicle and being kicked out of the junkyard. I really hope she does make it in, because she needs friends and some people to love her.

Mistoffelees

6/10/1999

Hmm. I haven’t written much about my pets in this journal, have I? Well, they’ve been really worried because for the past few days I haven’t gone back. So today I decided to skip the junkyard and hang out at my pet’s house. They were really happy to see me. “Pussy!” cried the 2-year-old daughter, Meggie when she saw me saunter in through the pet door. The mother turned to look and, wow, you should have seen her eyes! They widened so much I expected to see them pop out and roll around on the floor. “Girls!” she yelled at the top of her lungs. “Magic’s home!” Soon, I saw two tear-stained girls run into the kitchen. Danielle, who’s 11, isn’t really that bad to me and I felt bad that I made her feel so sad. But Karen, who’s 8, I despise. She insists on tying pink ribbons around my neck every day. But still, I was happy to see them. “Oh, Magic!” they cried happily as they smothered me in hugs and kisses. Yes, Magic is the name they gave me. It’s my first name. It’s not really that bad, and it’s quite a coincidence, considering my powers. Sometimes I wonder if they know the truth.

But that’s all. For the whole day I was choked with attention and showered with affection and bathed and primped and, yes, tied up with pink ribbons. I had to restrain myself from zapping that annoying Karen.

Mistoffelees

6/11/1999

My pets wouldn’t let me out of their sight today. In fact, they wouldn’t even let me outside! I guess they were afraid that I would run away. I guess that from now on I’ll have to come home at night. Unless they’re on vacation or something, in which case I could spend the night at the junkyard for a couple days I guess.

I sure am glad that I brought this diary with me. If I hadn’t, then I wouldn’t have been able to write about what happened to day in much detail. Anyhoo, here’s today’s account:

I was basking lazily in my favorite spot: this one window that is always sunny and happens to have a really comfy pillow under it. So I was lying down on that when I heard something, like a rock or a pebble, being thrown at my window. It made this annoying clicking noise, so I looked up. I saw Mungojerrie’s face staring back at me through the glass. “Can you open this window Misto?” he asked. So I got up off my comfy spot and opened the window. Mungojerrie looked around to see if anyone was watching, then darted inside. “What are you doing here?” I whispered. “Munku sent me to see what was wrong with you,” he answered. “He told me that you weren’t at the junkyard yesterday either and ‘e was worried. So… why aren’t you at the junkyard? Victoria’s going on an’ on about ‘ow somethin’ bad probably ‘appened to you and Saphinora is pretty upset. At least, I think she’s upset. It’s kinda hard to tell what an alley cat’s thinkin’. But I think she’s disappointed you’re not there.” I raised my eyebrows. “Why should anyone be worried?” I asked. “They should know where I am.” “But why aren’t you at the junkyard?” pressed Mungojerrie. I sighed. “I was gone from here for about four days, and my pets were worried sick. They haven’t even let me outside because they think I’ll disappear again. I’m lucky they let me sleep without supervision,” I grumbled. Mungojerrie nodded. “Okay. Well, I’ll just go spread the word to Munku and the others.” Then he left.

I thought that that was going to be the only interruption I’d be getting, so I curled back up on my pillow. But no more than five minutes after he left, Mungojerrie came back. “Munku’s pretty mad,” he cautioned me after I let him in again. “Why?” I asked. I didn’t know why Munkustrap would be mad at me. “He said that you were supposed to start giving that kitten ‘er initiation tests today,” Mungojerrie informed me. “He’s mad that you’re not there to test ‘er.” “Then tell him it’s not my fault,” I said patiently. “I’m not allowed to go outside, much less have visitors. Now go before one of my pets walks in this room.” So once again, Mungojerrie ran off to tell Munkustrap what I said.

Not long after that, I heard Mungojerrie throwing rocks at my window again. “What is it now?” I said, exasperated. Mungojerrie grinned. “Nothin’. Munku said that’s fine, as long as you test ‘er tomorrow. I just wanted to say hi because I didn’t get to yet.” “Okay, you said hi. Now you can go,” I said.

And he wasn’t my only visitor. I had five other ones. Tugger decided to come over to taunt me about being a sissy because I couldn’t even leave my own house. I calmly explained how I didn’t want to worry my pets to death again. He didn’t buy it. I finally got rid of him by saying that if he didn’t leave I’d read his diary. Yes, believe it or not, Tugger has his own diary. I guess he believed me because he got this panicked look on his face and then he dashed off to the junkyard.

Victoria and Saphinora came by too. They just wanted to see if I was okay, I guess. And Saphinora got a little panicked too, I understand, because the only other Jellicle she really knew was Victoria and she had been stuck helping Jenny with the mice again. They finally left too.

Then I was greeted by a party of Tumble and Pouncival. They were outside on the front porch singing Christmas carols. Don’t ask why because I don’t know. They didn’t leave for a long time.

Now, finally, I have some peace and qui—

Make that six visitors. Bustopher just stopped by with a lollipop. Where does that guy get all those?

Mistoffelees

6/12/1999

My pets finally let me out of the house today! I’m going to go back there every night just to make sure they don’t worry themselves sick over me. So… I walked on over to the junkyard. When I entered, everyone pretty much steered clear of me. I think I was giving them pretty nasty looks, but I was in a really bad mood. And I guess nobody wants to be around when a magical cat gets angry.

I kept to myself for the whole day, just spending my time in my little pipe, attempting to eat the enormous lollipop from my dear uncle, and reading a thick chapter book. So there’s not much to tell about my day. Except, late in the evening I heard the junkyard all of a sudden get really quiet outside. I figured maybe Munkustrap was giving a speech of some kind and everyone was getting quiet to listen. But after a while I decided that I didn’t even hear Munkustrap’s voice so I went outside to check it out. When I got out there I saw nothing. I mean, nobody was out there. The junkyard was deserted. I just shrugged it off, and went to sulk in my lair. Like I said, I was in a bad mood. Can you blame me? I’d been a prisoner in my own home for the past couple of days! Anyway, tomorrow I’m going to ask Munkustrap what it was all about. You’d think that at least Pouncival would have been out there making a racket.

Mistoffelees

6/13/1999

I’m in a much better mood today. In fact, I feel GREAT! I had a terrific night’s sleep and woke up feeling overjoyed and refreshed. I was in such a good mood I decided to help Saphinora find a family to take her in. And I knew just the people, too. My family’s next door neighbors have been looking for a nice kitten for ages. I told Saphinora about this and she was so happy that she’d finally have someone to love her and care for her. I took her there and left her in a basket. Then I jumped up to ring the doorbell and then darted into their freshly trimmed bushes. I could hear everything that was going on. A woman came out and took Saphinora inside. I could see her fussing over Saphinora through the window, feeding her expensive tuna and creamy milk. Feeling satisfied, I decided to check in on my own family. When I got there I found Meggie asleep in my favorite spot on the couch. I ignored her and went upstairs. Danielle was playing with her long blonde hair in front of a mirror and she didn’t see me as I snuck into the room she shared with Karen.

I was as quiet as I possibly could. Karen was sitting on her bed and playing with her Barbie’s long hair. It seemed like everyone had a thing for hair today or something. I stayed low to the ground and snuck up behind her. Stupid clumsy me, I tripped over a shoe that was just lying there. I can’t believe I didn’t see it! Anyway, Karen heard me trip and she turned around. “Magic!” she squealed. “You’re here just in time! I was running out of things to do to Barbie.” She bent down, and before I could do anything she picked me up. She grabbed one of her pink ribbons and wrapped it around my neck. Talk about pure torture.

Somehow, I escaped to the junkyard. I tried to get it off by scratching at it, but no luck. Frantically I looked around for someone to help me. What do you know, the only Jellicle in sight was the Rum Tum Tugger. I sighed and mustered up all the courage I could. “Hey Tugger?” I said timidly. “Can you… can you get this ribbon off me?” He turned around. The first thing he did was widen his eyes. Then he started laughing his head off. “Wow! Misto, you look GREAT in PINK!” he shouted so anyone in the junkyard could hear him.

I shrank off to my lair in the pipe. I went in there and pouted for a while. Then, maybe five minutes later, Tugger poked his big head in there and said, “I’m sorry.” He actually sounded sincere! He gestured for me to come out. “Here, let me get that dopey thing off you.” I came out. He pulled the ribbon off over my head and tossed it over his shoulder. “There,” he said. “Good as new.” What he didn’t see was that the ribbon had landed right on Bombalurina. She wrinkled her nose and stared at it for a while. Then she called out loudly, “Oh Tugger! Does this pretty little pink thing belong to you?” “Huh?” Tugger turned around. The look on his face was so idiotic that I couldn’t stop laughing.

But I guess even Tugger has nice points.

Mistoffelees

6/14/1999

Munkustrap is Mad. With a capital “M”. I was supposed to give Saphinora her first Jellicle initiation test two days ago. I couldn’t two days ago, because I was busy being held hostage in my own home. But Munkustrap said that I had no excuse for not testing her yesterday. So I really had no choice than to throw the first test at her today.

I was about to go get her in her lair once I got up. I sleepily walked out of my pipe. When I got out I was face to face with Saphinora. “Surprise!” she cried happily. “Come on! Let’s go!” I gave her a weird look. “Go?” I echoed. “Go where?” Saphinora laughed. “To go get my books. You remember, you promised me we could go back to my old alley home today to get my books,” she told me. I smacked my forehead. “Oh yeah! I forgot all about that!” I cleared my throat. “Well, we have a change of plans. I’m supposed to give you your first initiation test today. Actually, I was supposed to test you a few days ago, but I couldn’t.” She gave me a confused look. “My initiation test… oh yeah! I forgot all about that! Now we’re even. You forgot one thing, and I forgot another.” She looked at me pleadingly. “Can’t we go get my books first? They’re my heart and soul.” I understood perfectly well. Before Victoria and I came along, Saphinora’s books were her best friends. I sighed. “Okay,” I said. “We’ll go get your books, and then I’ll test you.” Saphinora looked so happy that I was glad I made the decision I did. We took the short hike over to her old lair in the alley. “I kept them in a beat-up old shelf way in the back,” she told me. I followed her into the back of her old lair. Sure enough, there were stacks of books lying EVERYWHERE. Well, to make a long story short, it took us about ten trips to carry all her books to the junkyard. Afterward I helped her remodel her lair completely so that it was almost as homey as my own. When we finished that, the sun was almost set. And I had forgotten all about her initiation test.

As I am writing this, it is about 11:00 at night. I just remembered about the initiation test. I’ll just have to promise myself that I will test her tomorrow no matter WHAT.

Mistoffelees

6/15/1999

Ooookay, I lied. I’m going to test Saphinora tomorrow. See, Munkustrap had a little talk with me. He told me that if I didn’t give Saphinora her first initiation test in three days, I would be taken off the assignment. And I didn’t want that to happen. Saphinora is so incredibly nice once you get to know her, and, I admit, I consider her one of my very good friends now. No, not like a girlfriend! Just, as a friend. I’m sorry this entry is so short, but I feel like moping around a little more about my terrible memory. Plus I have to think about what kind of test I’m going to give Saphinora.

Mistoffelees

6/16/1999

I can’t believe it! I promised myself yesterday that I would give Saphinora her initiation test today. But, well, I didn’t. Big surprise, yeah. In fact, she was nowhere in the junkyard at all. I’m pretty mad at her right now, for just disappearing like that. But I can’t blame her. I mean, how was she supposed to know that I’d be giving her the first initiation test today?

So I just stayed in my lair at the junkyard all day long. I didn’t want to face Munkustrap, and I was afraid that if I would come out he’d be standing right there, waiting for me. I can’t stand breaking promises. It makes me feel so… so… so untrustworthy.

Sorry that this entry is also short, but I need some time to myself.

Mistoffelees

6/17/1999

Now I’m really angry! Saphinora was nowhere to be seen in the junkyard today either! I asked everyone where she was, but nobody knew. So I went and asked who I suspected her best friend was: Victoria. She had probably told Victoria where she was going, and when she’d get back. And just as I suspected, Victoria did know. “She went to spend the day with her family,” she explained. “Maybe her family isn’t letting her out of their sight. Just like yours did with you.” So I understood. The same thing had happened to me, so I knew what Saphinora was going through. But if I don’t give that kitten her first test by tomorrow I’ll be taken off the assignment!

Mistoffelees

6/18/1999

I can’t believe it! Saphinora still hasn’t turned up at the junkyard. You know what this means, don’t you? I’m going to be taken off the assignment. I won’t be able to give Saphinora her first test, or any of her other tests. I can’t be angry at her, because I know what she’s going through. Maybe Munkustrap will understand. Maybe I should go talk to him. Who am I kidding? He gave me a warning, and I ignored it. I just hope that the new cat to test her is Victoria. Victoria is the only other one who knows anything about her. Anybody else might push her too hard. Okay, that’s it. I’m going to go talk with Munkustrap and I’m not going to take “no” for an answer.

Mistoffelees

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