Sorry I didn’t write yesterday. I was really depressed, but I’m feeling a little better now. At least, good enough to talk to everyone about what happened.
Let me explain. I did go and talk with Munkustrap. It all went by so quickly, in a blur, that I can’t really remember what I said and what happened. But I remember what it caused. Saphinora is gone. She can never become a Jellicle, and can never set foot in the junkyard again. No Jellicle will ever hear from her again. It’s like she never existed, and she’ll go back to either living in the alley full time, or she’ll live with her family full time. I don’t know what’s going to happen to her. I don’t know what’s already happened to her. But she’s gone. And it’s all my fault.
Mistoffelees
6/21/1999
Yesterday I was feeling sad and depressed. But when I woke up this morning I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. I had neglected to visit my family because I had been feeling too guilty about what happened with Saphinora. But now I feel guilty for letting my family worry about me to death. So I decided I’m going to go see them tomorrow.
Demeter came over to me today. “Mistoffelees,” she said. “You miss Saph, don’t you?” I looked away and nodded. “Okay, I already asked Rumpleteazer and Victoria if they would come with me,” continued Demeter. “And now I’m asking you. Can you come?” ‘Wait a minute Demeter,” I said. “Come where?” Demeter laughed. “Sorry. I forgot to tell you what. See, I decided to organize all of Saphinora’s closest friends… Rumple, Victoria, myself, and you. We’re going to sneak into her family’s house tomorrow. It shouldn’t be too hard for you because you live right next door to her. So… will you come?” I thought about it. I did miss Saphinora, and I was meaning to apologize to her for what I did. “Okay,” I said. “Count me in.” Demeter smiled. “Great. I’ll fill you in on the details tomorrow.”
For the rest of the day I was busy planning what I would say to Saphinora. I needed just the right words to apologize for what I did. She was probably furious with me for what I made her lose. So I needed the exact right things to say for her to forgive me. I’m going to do everything in my power (no pun intended. See? I even have my sense of humor back!) to get Saphinora back into the Jellicles. Maybe I can talk to Munkustrap again… no, that’s what caused this in the first place. I’ll go talk to Old Deuteronomy tomorrow. So, maybe when I go to see Saphinora tomorrow I’ll have some good news for her. Hopefully.
Mistoffelees
6/22/1999
I can’t write much. I’m at my family’s house right now, waiting for Demeter to come with the others. The sun is almost set and my family is fast asleep. Oh, here they come. I can hear them, especially Rumpleteazer’s giggles. She finds anything that’s not supposed to be done funny. I couldn’t mistake her giggles anytime. Yep, definitely them.
Mistoffelees
6/23/1999
Saphinora seemed so happy to see us yesterday! I was glad that we went. I could tell that she was very sad deep down inside though. But she wasn’t mad. I was glad that she wasn’t mad at me. She reassured me that it wasn’t my fault that she was banished, but I’m not so sure about that. We all agreed that no matter what we’re going to get Munkustrap to let Saphinora back into the Jellicles. I know I didn’t talk to Old D the other day, but I don’t need to anymore. Like Saphinora, yesterday I found out who my real friends were.
Mistoffelees
6/24/1999
I can’t believe it! I am so happy! Let me explain. We all went back to Saphinora’s house early in the morning today. Demeter and Victoria convinced the rest of us that we should take her to see Munkustrap and complain about her unfair banishment. So that’s what we did. We all ran over to Munkustrap’s lair in the junkyard where he was still sleeping like a baby. “Hey Munkustrap!” I shouted. He jumped up, startled. Then his surprised look was replaced with anger when he saw us with Saphinora. He demanded for us to take her back. “No way!” we yelled. “If she can’t be a Jellicle, neither will we!” “She’s our FRIEND, Munku!” cried Rumpleteazer. “Yeah!” agreed Victoria. “And friends don’t let friends be miserable for the rest of their lives!” I started to yell something too, but I stopped. Munkustrap was smiling. “Hey,” said Demeter. “What’s going on?” “This was Saphinora’s test,” he explained. “And you all passed.” “WHAT?” shrieked Demeter. “So this thing was all a big waste?” Munkustrap shook his head. “No. If you hadn’t done this, she probably would be left living in misery.” “So,” said Saphinora, finally speaking up. “I’m a Jellicle now?” “Yes,” answered Munkustrap. “You’re a Jellicle now.”
After that, Munkustrap announced it to the whole tribe. He said that we would be celebrating her becoming a Jellicle on the 4th of July. There couldn’t possibly be a more perfect day to celebrate. Now Saphinora has what she’s always wanted. A home and caring friends.
Mistoffelees
P.S. I’m also really happy that I didn’t REALLY cause Saph to be banished.
6/25/1999
Today wasn’t really that exciting. Saphinora went to rejoice with her Queen friends, and I was left all in the dust. No, just kidding. I’m not angry. I’m accepting the fact that queens tend to celebrate with queens during special occasions. I have a feeling she’s gonna be talking to me tomorrow anyway.
I went and hung out with Mungojerrie. He was playing Poker with Tumblebrutus and Alonzo. “Can I play?” I asked. “No way!” shouted Tumble. “Remember what happened last time you played cards with me and Pounce? You won ever single time!” “Let him play,” said Mungojerrie. “You just CAN”T USE YOU STUPID POWERS!” I laughed. “I won’t, don’t worry. The only reason why I beat Pounce and Tumble last time was because I was better at playing cards than them.” So we all played Poker for a long time. We all had to bet something too. Tumblebrutus kept betting all his broken pens and pencils that he keeps in his lair. Mungojerrie bet some good stuff, like big chunks of a cracked Ming vase. Alonzo was betting buttons that he found on the ground. And I won it all! “No fair,” complained Tumble. “I’ll bet he used his powers on us.” “No I didn’t,” I insisted. “I won, fair and square.” Anyway, the three of them kept complaining, and I kept winning. I must be on a winning streak or something, because I’m not using my powers even though I’m really tempted!
Mistoffelees
6/26/1999
Saphinora was in a nosy mood today. She came right up to me and asked, plain and simple, “Who do you have a crush on?” I laughed and said, “Why should I tell you?” “Because you’re one of my best friends, and all best friends have to know who the other one likes,” she stated. She looked up at me with pleading eyes. “Pleeeeeease?” I laughed again and rolled my eyes. “Alright. But you can’t tell ANYONE this,” I warned. “Okay!” she agreed happily. I smiled. “Victoria,” I whispered. “REALLY?” she cried. “Ssh! Yes, really.” I grinned. “Now it’s your turn.” She nodded. “Okay. I like… nobody,” she told me. “Oh,” I said. “Not even anybody? Not even Tugger? All the queens love him!” She laughed. “Nope. I think he’s ugly and stuck-up. Don’t tell him I said that.” Saphinora turned and started walking away. “Let’s just say I owe you a secret,” she called over her shoulder. With a kitten like that, she probably has plenty of secrets. I wonder what she’s going to tell me.
Mistoffelees
6/27/1999
I stayed with my family all day. No big deal, because today I wasn’t held captive. Boring day. I was fed expensive cat food, petted, played with, and had pink ribbons tied around me. Boring day.
Mistoffelees
6/28/1999
I came back to the junkyard today. Pouncival and Jemima seemed really tense. Demeter seemed to know what was going on, so I asked her. “You know that new cat? She might become a Jellicle,” she told me. “Who? Saphinora?” I asked, confused. “But she’s already a Jellicle.” Demeter slapped her forehead. “Oops. I forgot. You weren’t at the junkyard when ANOTHER new cat came. Her name is Jequenia, and she was also banished. But this one was real, not set-up like with Saph. But I convinced Munkustrap to let her back into the tribe, and he’s considering letting her become a Jellicle.” “Why haven’t I seen her before?” I asked. “She mostly hangs out in the alley, in the same one that Saphinora used to live in. I guess she’s afraid to come into the junkyard.” I shook my head. “But that still doesn’t explain why Pounce and Jemima are all stressed out,” I said. Demeter smiled. “They’re Jequenia’s friends. Actually, they’re her only friends. And they’re really worried about her.” I walked away, satisfied. I’d have to meet this Jequenia person sometime.
Mistoffelees
6/29/1999
Great news! That new cat that Demeter was telling me about yesterday is a Jellicle now! Even though I never knew her, I was pretty happy. I still haven’t worked up the nerve to introduce myself to her. I don’t usually like new cats, although I guess Saphinora was an exception. Nothing much happened today. Pretty boring. But I have a feeling that something is going to happen tomorrow…
Mistoffelees
6/30/1999
Okay. Saphinora tried to tell me the secret she owed me. But she chickened out at the last minute. I guess she’s afraid that I’d laugh or make fun of her or something. I understand. Everyone has secrets that the world shouldn’t know. I know I do.
Today was mostly boring. Everything seems incredibly boring lately. Anyway, I can’t write very much because I have to go to my family’s house today.
Mistoffelees
7/1/1999
The 4th of July is coming! I can’t wait! Not only are the fireworks going to be spectacular, we’re going to have a blast celebrating the arrival of a new Jellicle… Saphinora! Mungojerrie and I are coming up with all these terrific ideas on how to make this 4th of July the best ever! Pouncival is in charge of food. Mungojerrie and I are in charge of everything else. Gotta go talk this over with Mungojerrie. I’m having a great idea!
Mistoffelees
7/2/1999
Well, my great idea turned out not to be so great after all. But Mungojerrie and I did decide on something. We’d be decorating the junkyard with red, white, and blue streamers and put up banquet tables with patriotic tablecloths, and patriotic candles for when it gets dark. I’m going to be positioned as the waiter because the markings on my fur make it look like I’m wearing a tuxedo. Mungojerrie is going to be the DJ and he’s going to play this great music, and Pouncival is going to dress up like a cook and serve the dinner. It’s gonna be great!
Mistoffelees
7/3/1999
Today I was mummified. A bunch of the Queens (Victoria, Rumpleteazer, Saphinora, and Demeter) got a hold of the crepe paper that Mungojerrie and I were going to use. I happened to walk into the junkyard as they were attempting to decorate the place for tomorrow. I heard Saphinora yell, “Get him!” They all ran over to me and wrapped me up tightly in the crepe paper. Rumpleteazer was struggling to tape me down. When they were through with me I looked more like a mummy than a cat. “Let me go!” I cried, but it came out, “Umph ee oke!” They were all laughing so hard that they were crying. Then I started laughing myself. Soon they got enough control over themselves to unwrap me. I felt like a Christmas present. Then I got them semi-organized and we took down the sloppy decorations and put up some better ones. Even though I was turned into a gift-wrapped kitty, I had fun.
Mistoffelees
7/4/1999
The 4th of July! It was terrific! Mungojerrie and I had set up the tables and candles, and we even managed to hang up a sign that said, “Congratulations Saphinora and Happy 4th of July!” I was the waiter and I seated everyone. Mungojerrie took his job seriously, and wore a pair of sunglasses and a leather jacket. He played some great songs, and soon everyone was singing and dancing. Then came dinner. Mungojerrie played some softer music, while Pouncival and I served caviar and strassburg pie to everyone. It tasted wonderful, once I had a chance to sit down and eat it myself. After dinner the sky was dark, and the humans were shooting off the fireworks. Everyone rushed over to sit on the fence and enjoy the enchanting display. I spotted Saphinora sitting next to Victoria. I sat down next to Saphinora. She looked at me, then looked at Victoria. “I’ll be right back,” she said. “I’m gonna go talk to Demeter.” She grinned and left us sitting next to each other. Now, I know a set-up when I see one and this was a set-up. But I decided to take a chance. I smiled at Victoria and nuzzled her softly. She looked surprised, but then returned the nuzzle. Then she put her head on my shoulder and kept it there for the rest of the fireworks display.
Mistoffelees
7/6/1999
Sorry I didn’t write yesterday, but I was too tired. Everyone was really tired from staying up late last night. Anyway, today was pretty… amusing. I woke up in the junkyard to hear screams coming from Demeter’s lair. Then she ran out and started chasing Pouncival, who was grinning like a dork. But there was something different about Demeter… she was painted rainbow! Pouncival must have snuck into her lair the other night and painted her! I sure hope it washes off.
Saphinora came over to me and said, “We should help Demeter think up a way to get back at Pouncival! What do you say?” I said yes. So tomorrow we’re going to volunteer our ideas to Demeter, the Rainbow Cat.
Mistoffelees
7/7/1999
Saphinora came up with a brilliant idea! Tomorrow morning we’re all going to bomb Pouncival with a hundred water balloons! Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer got the balloons for us, and Saphinora, Demeter and I spent the rest of the day filling them up with water. We also got a bug group of Jellicles to help us bomb Pouncival tomorrow. Even Jennyanydots is going to help us! Tomorrow is going to be so great!
Mistoffelees
7/8/1999
Darn! Pouncival built a stupid fence around his lair and we can’t get in. Rumpleteazer, Victoria, Saphinora, Demeter and I plotted and schemed for the rest of the day about what we could do to him. But we didn’t have any luck.
Mistoffelees
7/9/1999
Still thinking. No luck yet. Gotta go think some more.
Mistoffelees
7/10/1999
Yes! We have a plan! Demeter sent me to go spy on Pouncival and see if he was planning anything against her yet. He wasn’t, but I noticed something. Pouncival has a door in his fence so he can go in and out, okay? And he has a lock on it too. But… the lock is on the WRONG SIDE OF THE DOOR! I can’t believe it! Pouncival’s dumbness saved our perfect plan! The prank wars begin tomorrow…
Mistoffelees
7/11/1999
Today was the day we did it… we played our little prank on Pouncival! It was so funny! We all snuck down to his fort in the middle of the night, dragging the water balloons with us. We snuck inside, where Pouncival was sleeping like a baby. I almost felt sorry for him, for what we were about to do. ALMOST. So anyway, on the count of three we all threw our bucket of water balloons at him. It was so funny! Someone would throw theirs at him and he would whirl around trying to find out who it was, then someone behind him would throw another one at him and he’d whirl around to see who THAT was… and other times we just threw them all at the same time. But after it was over, I started to feel nervous. What would Pouncival do to get back at all of us? And how soon?
Mistoffelees
7/13/1999
These past few days, I have lived in fear. I haven’t written much because there’s nothing to write about. Except that I’ve been with my family for the past few days, savoring every moment and wondering if it will be my last. My last moment, that is, until Pouncival decides to pull off his joke. So I’ll just leave now and go savor some more moments.
Mistoffelees
7/14/1999
Today Saphinora caught me savoring a moment. I was just sitting out on the porch and staring at Victoria, who was also sitting out on her porch. She just looked so beautiful with the setting sun reflecting off her pure white coat. The sun gave her fur an orangish, almost red glow. Saphinora came along and interrupted my savoring of moments. When she asked what I was looking at, I told her it was the sunset. And in a way it was true, because I could almost see the very sun reflecting off of Vicki’s coat. Then she called me a liar and said I was staring at something else. I realized that I had been caught red-handed (or red-pawed). I looked up and I could tell that Saph was trying hard not to laugh. So I smiled and said, “Alright. You got me. Now go away and leave me to my savoring of moments.” She flashed me a confused look, but then she laughed and headed over to Victoria’s house. I was going to worry that she’d tell Victoria, but then I decided not to and went on savoring some more moments.
Mistoffelees
7/15/1999
We all had the nerve to go back to the junkyard today. Saphinora, Victoria and I all walked back to the junkyard together. Saphinora kept flashing me amused looks like she was going to tell Victoria that I was savoring moments, but she didn’t squeal. The whole time we were walking to the junkyard we were coming up with tricks that Pouncival might play on us. I’m gonna try to remember all of them so that when it’s our turn for revenge again, we can use some of the ideas. Anyway, when we got back to the junkyard the place was almost deserted. Except for Pouncival’s buddies Tumblebrutus, Plato, and Admetus. They were grumbling under their breath and picking up the exploded balloon remains from the ground. I guess Pouncival still hasn’t managed to clean up our mess!
Saphinora said she had some reading to do, and before I could say anything she dashed off to her lair in the stove and left Victoria and me. Victoria looked at me and said that she was going to keep Saph company, so she left too. I went up to Mungojerrie and asked him if he wanted to play cards with me. He said sure, as long as we got two more guys. But we asked every tom in the junkyard and none of them wanted to play cards with us. Oh well. Maybe I can convince Tumble and Plato to play with me tomorrow.
Mistoffelees
7/16/1999
I was bored out of my mind today. I couldn’t find Saphinora or Victoria anywhere. So I decided to go talk to my best friend for life, Skimbleshanks. I hadn’t talked to Skimble for the longest time. In fact, as good friends as we are, I was actually nervous to talk to him. I found him playing Solitaire in his lair. I apologized for ignoring him this long. He smiled and said, “That’s okay. I know you’ve been busy spending time with that new kitten, Saphinora. She needed a friend, and you gave her that. So I understand. Care for a game of cards?” I quickly agreed. We went to find Tumblebrutus and Plato and Skimble managed to convince them that I wasn’t going to cheat. I felt bad for them, so I let them win. All five rounds. Then I won the next five rounds. Hey, can I help it that I’m great at Poker? Tumble and Plato went off grumbling about how they were glad that they hadn’t bet anything valuable. Skimble had to help me carry my winnings home: A small bag of sugar cane, two rusted pairs of scissors, a vast collection of interesting hats (that came with a vast collection of rips and holes) and a murder mystery book that was missing the front and back cover. I can add those to my collection of Poker winnings.
Mistoffelees
7/17/1999
Skimble came up to me today and asked if he could join our group that’s fighting against Pouncival in the Prank Battles. I said it was fine, as long as we asked our respectful leader first. Demeter said it was terrific! “The more, the better!” she said happily. We had a little meeting in Saphinora’s lair today. We decided that we’d play a prank on Pouncival before he could play one on us. Victoria volunteered the ideas she and Saph thought up yesterday. We agreed on playing a tape recording of monkey sounds next to Pouncival while he’s sleeping. He has a phobia of monkeys, and he’s terrified of them. Saphinora and Victoria are going to the zoo tomorrow to go get some monkey sounds (it was, after all, their idea). It’s going to be so funny!
Mistoffelees
7/18/1999
POUNCIVAL DIES TOMORROW! Let me explain… I woke up this morning with Demeter screaming in my ear. She shoved a mirror in my face for me to look in. I saw myself staring back, except I was totally white! Demeter inspected it and told me it was only flour, and it would come off easily. “If I was playing this joke on Pouncival, I would’ve used glue,” she said, laughing. It turned out not to be so funny at all. Pounce had used glue. The flour was stuck to my fur coat! I ran outside to find Pouncival, so I could zap him or something. But I tripped over a piece of string that was in the way, and I was doused in more flour. Demeter happened to be right behind me, and she became white also. Pouncival looked confused… he couldn’t tell who was who! But he didn’t care. He was laughing his head off. Demeter wrestled around with him, making his fur white in the process. I spent the rest of the day painfully scrubbing the globs of glue from my fur. Nobody knows this, but I put a temporary sneeze curse on Pouncival. Every time he says the words “glue” or “flour” or “Demeter” or “Mistoffelees” he’s going to sneeze. And I have a feeling he’s going to be saying those words a lot. It’s only a temporary thing, until we play our monkey joke on him.
Mistoffelees
7/19/1999
Saphinora and Victoria were successful in getting the monkey recordings. They were pretty angry when Demeter told them that while they were gone, Pouncival struck. And his target was me. Victoria kept apologizing, and Saphinora insisted that if she had been here she could’ve stopped him. But we went on with the monkey joke. Only the girls went, and Skimble and I had to stay in our lairs and listen to them try to be quiet. They kept saying that the less Jellicles they had, the less the chances of getting caught. Oh well. It must’ve worked, because I heard Pouncival muttering about “killer monkeys” in his sleep. And when he woke up he made sure the entire junkyard knew that he hated monkeys. It was pretty funny. We (our group: Demeter, Saphinora, Victoria, Rumpleteazer, Skimble, and me) spent the whole day laughing our heads off. Rumpleteazer couldn’t stop giggling, and that just made us laugh even harder. Jequenia kept flashing us dirty looks. Oh well, that’s her problem that she’s mad at us. I just hope she doesn’t decide to side with Pouncival…
Mistoffelees
7/20/1999
I wasn’t as scared as the others today. I had already been “joked” by Pouncival, so I wasn’t too worried. But I was worried enough that I spent the day with my family. They mostly ignored me, so I got a nice long nap in today. There’s nothing much else to say. Sorry.
Mistoffelees
7/21/1999
Pouncival struck again. This time, his target was Rumpleteazer. He had made all her fur stick out by using styling gel and hair spray (I’ll bet he somehow convinced Tugger to let him borrow his hair spray and gel). Rumple was also missing her Woolworth pearls. It turns out that they were on a big, fat, ugly, stupid Pollicle. Rumple sent Mungojerrie to chase the dog to get her pearls back. And Mungo did it. He didn’t come back until late evening, panting and out of breath, but holding the pearls. I gotta go now. Demeter called an emergency meeting to come up with another prank for Pounce. We want to get him as soon as possible.
Mistoffelees
7/22/1999
We got Pouncival really good today! Yesterday we came up with the idea of giving him a makeover. That’s right. We got together some nail polish, blush, eye shadow, mascara, lipstick, a blonde wig, and a pink boa and did Pounce up like a girl! You should’ve seen him! It was HILARIOUS! Pounce was stomping around the junkyard in his new outfit today. “It’s you, Pouncival,” called Tugger. “It’s utterly, simply, YOU.” He had to put up with a lot of teasing. Especially when he couldn’t get the nail polish off. Saphinora had picked out the bright pink kind that doesn’t come off easily. Maybe he’ll eventually get his paws on some remover.
Mistoffelees
7/23/1999
Boy, Pouncival sure doesn’t wait very long to pull his next trick. Today he got Alonzo. And the poor guy only helped out in one prank! Anyway, Alonzo woke up today with a whole new look. He was wearing a Tinky-Winky mask (the Teletubbie) and Po boxers (another Teletubbie). He got the mask off just fine, but the boxers were giving in some trouble. So he made me zap them off for him. At first I didn’t want to, but Alonzo said that he’d rather put up with his rear end burnt to a crisp than running around in Teletubbie boxers for the rest of his life. So I did. That was a big mistake. Alonzo’s behind is in worse condition than I thought. So he’s going to soak himself for a while and hope that the burning sensation will go away eventually.
Mistoffelees
7/24/1999
Guess what? Alonzo decided to join our little group! He must be pretty mad at Pouncival if he wants to get even more involved. He came up with a great idea too. Tomorrow we’re going to get Pounce a fake lottery ticket! When he scratches it it’s going to say that he won 10,000 bucks. Can’t write much, we have to go plot and scheme once more.
Mistoffelees
7/25/1999
Alonzo got us a fake lottery ticket, and we planted it in front of Pounce’s lair. When that kitten scratched the ticket he was so happy he was running around and kissing everyone! He even came up to me and planted a big wet one on my face and said, “Ya know what Misto? Guess!” I said I gave up, and then he cried, “I’m so happy I’m not going to play anymore jokes on you! I love all you guys, even you, Mister Mistoffeleeeeeeees!” That remark made me feel very guilty. For a minute I wondered if he had somehow found out that the lottery ticket was fake and was trying to force me to admit it. But I was wrong. Pouncival actually believed that he had won $10,000! And that made me feel even more guilty. I was positive that Pouncival was going to back out on his promise and play yet another trick.
Mistoffelees
7/26/1999
Cassandra was Pouncival’s target of the day. He somehow got a hold of hundreds of crickets and millipedes and set them loose in Cassandra’s lair. She spent the rest of the day taking a bath in the hose. I asked her why she wasn’t just cleaning herself the traditional kitty way and she squealed, “Are you kidding? Get those gross bug germs on my tongue? Eww!” Well, at least she decided to join our group in the war, the Rebellion. She’s going to help us knock the Pouncival Empire down. Watch out Pounce, we have a Siamese on our side!
Mistoffelees
7/27/1999
How much more of this can I take? Pouncival got another member of our group today. That’s two in a row! Anyway, what matters is who he did it to. His target was Victoria. Pouncival did something really bad to her. He gave her dozens of tiny red and blue dots on her white fur… using FOOD COLORING. She was so mad that she looked red with anger. Well, I don’t know if it was the coloring that made her look red or what, but either way she was really steamed. Demeter called a sudden meeting this evening to decide how to get back at Pouncival. Saphinora had the most wonderful idea! She suggested that we get an inflatable mattress somewhere and use it as a boat to set Pouncival on a journey down the river. So tomorrow we will set Pounce on a little trip down the river.
Mistoffelees
7/28/1999
Today we played the mattress joke on Pouncival. Actually, Saphinora, Demeter, and Cassandra got to dot he honors. But they came back squealing with pleasure, and I could tell it had been successful. Then Demeter (being our unofficial leader) ordered everyone in our group to evacuate the junkyard. So we all fled to our family’s houses. I had to put up with being tied with pink ribbons for hours.
Mistoffelees
7/29/1999
Boring day. I decided that it wasn’t exactly safe to go back to the junkyard for a couple days, so I was stuck with my family. Maggie spent the day watching Disney movies in the living room, and I had nothing better to do than to join her. Her movie selections included: The Little Mermaid, Mulan, and The Aristocats. I thought the Aristocats was really good, but I probably only thought that because it starred cats. And there was this one alley cat that resembled Skimble. I’ll have to tell him about that tomorrow.
Mistoffelees
7/30/1999
I visited Skimble down at the train station today. He was just there to keep an eye on things, and he had a lot of time on his paws because his train wasn’t departing for about a week. I told him about the cat I thought looked like him in the Aristocats. He laughed and said, “Did the cat wear a vest and a pocket watch?” I had to admit that he didn’t. “I don’t think there’s another cat in the world who wears a vest and a pocket watch,” I teased Skimble. It was great hanging out and teasing each other like best friends again. Life’s just been too busy to have fun lately! Naw, I’m over-exaggerating. The joke wars, I admit, have had their fun moments. But still, I can’t wait until they’re over.
Mistoffelees
7/31/1999
I hooked up with Saphinora and Victoria at the junkyard. Yeah, I had the nerve to go back today. But first things first: Pouncival struck again! The victim was Jennyanydots. Saph filled me in on the details, since I didn’t get there until the afternoon and it had all happened in the morning. Pouncival had stolen all of Jenny’s cleaning supplies and the stuff she needs for the mice and cockroach lessons. She’s really mad at Pouncival. Mad enough to join us! That’s right, our small army just got bigger. Anyway, I confided in Saphinora and Victoria that I was getting tired of the joke wars. To my surprise, so were they. Victoria groaned and stared at the faint polka dots that were still slightly visible on her fur. “I can’t wait until they’re over,” she said. Then Saph’s eyes lit up really bright, and she ran off somewhere. She told me she suddenly had an idea and would tell me about it later. I wonder what’s going on in her mind… no, I wonder what’s going on in Pouncival’s mind. What’s he planning next?
Mistoffelees
8/1/1999
This morning Demeter climbed up on top of the big tire and yelled, “My joke group! Over here!” I rolled my eyes and crawled out of my lair over to the tire with the others. Demeter told everyone that there was a meeting at 12:00 on the afternoon. So I still had a couple hours to kill. Skimble and I played cards with Etcetera and Electra for a couple hours. They were only kittens, so we didn’t bet or anything. It’s good thing we didn’t. Etcetera won every time! And Skimble or I weren’t letting her win either. For about the fiftieth time, Skimble and Electra tossed their cards aside and groaned. I grinned and set my cards on the stool we were using for a table. “Two of a kind,” I said happily, thinking I had won for once. Etcetera smirked and spread her cards out. “Full house,” she said triumphantly. Electra rolled her eyes and said, “She’s like this all the time. Really.” Then Skimble and I had to go to the meeting. There, Skimble suggested a really, REALLY funny idea for what we could do to Pouncival. Tell ya about it later, cuz I gotta go right NOW.
Mistoffelees
8/2/1999
The joke was this: Rumpleteazer, Demeter, and Skimble put purple contacts in Pouncival and Jequenia’s eyes so that they couldn’t see, plus they’d look weird. For a couple of hours they were bumping into cats such as Munkustrap and Bombalurina, and things such as tires, stray metal, and the Rum Tum Tugger (he qualifies as a thing, right?). But Mungojerrie had to go and ruin the fun by kindly taking out the contacts for them. Darn.
Pouncival and Jequenia struck on the same day! They got Electra. She woke up to find her lair filled with asparagus. The food. Not the pussy cat. Anyway, Saphinora told me that the poor kitten has a phobia of asparagus (don’t ask, it’s a REALLY loooooooong story) and was simply terrified when she woke up. Gus and Jellylorum came rushing to her rescue. “Hey wow!” cried Gus. “I love this stuff!” He grabbed an asparagus and started chomping away. “This is delicious!” he declared, his mouth full. Electra’s eyes widened. Then she let out a huge, shrill scream, shriller than Cassandra’s if you believe that. That’s all for now.
Mistoffelees
8/3/1999
Electra joined our army today. Do you sense a pattern here? Today at ANOTHER meeting, she came up with another idea to get Pouncival. She said that we could paint his face like an ugly clown. I had to laugh at that. It was a pretty funny joke. So Demeter set Cassandra and Rumpleteazer on a quest for some face paint. I can just picture Pounce right now in clown makeup. This is going to be so funny! We strike tomorrow.
Mistoffelees
8/4/1999
Our side got Pouncival good today! I didn’t get to witness it, because Skimble and I left the junkyard for a day to take a break from the Joke Wars. We went all around London, visiting vending machines, fishing in the nearby stream, checking out the museum (we were only there for maybe ten minutes before a security guard caught us)… stuff like that. We had a blast. It had been a long time since Skimble and I just hung out as friends, instead of partners in a joke war. Oh! And in the evening when the sun was beginning to set, we found a band that was playing in the park. We stayed there and watched them from up in a tree. They were really good. I especially liked this one guy who played the drums. They even had him doing a drum solo. He was really great at playing those drums. Man, his hands were moving at a hundred miles an hour (okay, I’m probably exaggerating, but they sure went fast!)! The outdoor concert was just plain… wonderful. It was wonderful. I was sad when it was over. I looked around, but I couldn’t find Skimble. “Hey! Skimble!” I called. No answer. “Hey Railway Freak!” I said, teasing. “Where are you?” I heard my buddy say, “Over here.” I carefully got out of the tree (couldn’t use my powers in front of all the people) and looked around. I found Skimble next to a young woman, who was petting him and rubbing him gently. “Oh my!” she exclaimed when she saw me walk up next to Skimble. “You have a friend!” she said. Then she smiled and started petting me too. Aren’t humans wonderful? Well, eventually we had to go. Me, I went home to my mansion. Skimble had to go catch a train. I was sad it was all over, but it was terrific.
Mistoffelees
8/5/1999
I decided to just stay with my family today. I managed to get through the day without being tied up with ribbons. It was nice, being stroked and played with all day long. And one of the girls kept sneaking me dinner scraps, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Rumpleteazer visited me today and told me that Etcetera got joked. I asked her what Pouncival did to her. “You don’t want to know,” said Rumple. Then she said that, like the others, Etcetera joined our group. Then she went next door to go tell Saphinora. But later Rumple came back and asked if I knew where Saph was. I told her that I didn’t. Rumple said that she wasn’t home, and she wasn’t at the junkyard either. Nobody knew where she was. “Maybe her family went on a spontaneous trip and she didn’t have time to tell us,” I suggested. But I wasn’t too sure. I’ll investigate this more tomorrow, but for now I’m just going to sleep.
Mistoffelees
8/6/1999
Saphinora is missing! She left the junkyard yesterday after the joke on Pouncival, and never came back. She didn’t come back today either, but more on that later. I came back to the junkyard today. The first Jellicle I ran into was Demeter. “Meeting,” she whispered. “In two hours.” Then she ran off to find everyone else. I decided that until the meeting, I could hang out with Skimble and some other guys. Skimble was watching Pouncival and Alonzo wrestle. “I’m gonna kick your tiny behind, Wimp Boy!” cried Pouncival. He tried to pin Alonzo. “No way!” yelled Alonzo. He scratched up Pounce’s ear, leaving a couple claw marks. “Heeeeeeeey!” protested Pounce. He tried to bite Alonzo’s face, but didn’t succeed. Skimble and I looked at each other and grinned. Then we pounced on the two wrestling toms at the same time. "Aw, man!” groaned Pouncival. “Misto’s gonna roast me with his lightning bolts!” I wasn’t, but he didn’t need to know that. So the four of us play-wrestled for a while. Then I heard Mungojerrie cry, “Cat pile!” Then I felt something land on me. Then I heard Tugger and Tumble yell, “Yeah!” and they pounced on us too. Soon, pretty much every tom in the junkyard was wrestling too. Until Demeter trotted over and shouted, “Saphinora’s missing!” Everyone stopped. Demeter asked if anyone had seen her. Nobody did. Then Demeter ordered us all to get off our scrawny behinds and help look for Saph. We searched everywhere for her. But we didn’t find her. I’m starting to get worried. If she doesn’t come back tomorrow I’m gonna be REALLY worried.
Mistoffelees
8/7/1999
Skimble was joked today. We were playing Speed together when he happened to glance at his pocket watch. “Oh my!” he exclaimed. His eyes widened real big. Then he ran off, mumbling about how he was two hours late for the train. Well, about an hour later, a really steamed Skimble came marching into the junkyard. Turns out that Pouncival was somehow able to set his watch ahead by three hours. AND he changed the date on his watch. So Skimble thought that today was tomorrow, and that yesterday was today… am I confusing you? Sorry. I guess the only thing you need to know is that Skimble’s pocket watch was set ahead and he thought that he was later for the train.
Saphinora came back today. She calmly explained how she had only been at the vet’s! So we were all worked up for nothing. It’s actually kinda funny if you think about it. Oops. Gotta go to another meeting Demeter called.
Mistoffelees
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