I found a saw yesterday, and Jequenia and I, with the help of Jemima, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, we made a door. It took all day, but it was worth it. Mungojerrie gave me a lock to put on it. I think that’s useful, huh?
Pouncival
7/10/1999
I made another boo-boo. I put the lock on the wrong side of the door! Of course, (me being me) didn’t realize it. But thankfully I had Jequenia with me. She saw my error in my ways, and so we fixed the problem. Whew! It’s good, because I think Demeter was going to something bad.
Pouncival
7/11/1999
I’M GOING TO KILL DEMETER! Does this sound familiar to you? It does to me. Anyway, I’M GOING TO KILL HER!
This is what she did. She with the help of her friends bombarded me with water balloons. I counted them. They’re were 100. I have no clue how they got all those. Demeter’s gonna get it. I’m going to Jequenia’s to see if she knows any good jokes.
Pouncival
7/12/1999
I didn’t see Demeter, Rumpleteazer, or Saphinora at the junkyard all day. I think that they were scared that I was going to do something to them. Actually, I didn’t have a clue about what I was going to play on all of them. Oh well. Jequenia still refused to help me, so I’m (once again), on my own.
Pouncival
7/13/1999
It’s the thirteenth! Bwhahahahaha!!!!! Today is the funnest day to scare the wits out of somebody! Bwhahahahahaha!!!!
Pouncival
7/14/1999
Nothing much happened today. Except...I saw Mistoffelees staring at.........
WAIT A SECOND! I’m getting an idea.........
Sorry. Can’t write.
Pouncival
7/15/1999
Hehehehehe! I’m a little devil. Yes I am.
I wonder if everyone in the junkyard is wondering where I am? Oh boy, they’re in for a surprise! I’m out stealing stuff for my joke that I’m gonna bomb tomorrow. This is fun! You’re probably wondering, “Pouncival can steal?” Yes, I can. I’ve went stealing loot with Mungo and Rumple a few times. It can be really fun. And you’re probably wondering what the joke is. You’re gonna have to wait till tomorrow! Too bad!
Pouncival
7/16/1999
This is for Misto. This is his joke. Oh goody. And next will be Rumpleteazer, then Alonzo, then Cassandra, then Victoria, then Jenny, then Electra, then Etcetera, then Skimble, then Bombalurina (does this list have any more?), and finally Demeter (I’m not playing anything on Saphinora. Nope. She’s too nice, plus she’s new)! Oh dang. I gotta do some serious thinking!
Pouncival
7/17/1999
Misto’s joke is tomorrow! Fun fun fun! Sorry all these entries are sorta short, but I’m really busy. I gotta go set my trap for poor, poor Misto!
Pouncival
7/18/1999
Oh yes! I got him good! Yes yes yes! I’m so good! Thank you, thank you!
Okay, I think it’s about time that you found out what the prank was. Here we go. I stole a few bags of flour, and in the middle of the night yesterday, I poured at least 2 bags on Mistoffelees so that he was as white as Victoria. But before I did that, I did something uncalled for: I put glue on his fur first so that the flour would stick good (don’t worry, he’ll get the glue out. I tested it first). And that’s not all. I hooked two more bags of the flour up on the door to his lair, so that when he walks through it, the flour will spill on him. Yup. And I had a camera with me that Mungojerrie lent me, so I took a few pictures. But I’m still not done. I put some a rainbow of colors, like red, yellow, and blue in separate buckets, so that at the end of the day, when he's all clean (I hope), it will pour on him. And when Misto lies down on his little bed, I’ll pour the rest of the flour on him. Do you think I over-did it? I don’t think so. He deserved it.
Pouncival
7/19/1999
I HATE HER! I HATE MONKEYS! HOW DID SHE FIGURE THAT OUT?! WHERE DID SHE FIND THAT OUT? IF MUNGOJERRIE RATTED ON ME, I’M GONNA KILL HIM! THIS IS NOT VERY NICE. I HATE HER SO BAD (YOU CAN FIGURE OUT WHO HER IS)! I’M GONNA MAKE HER SUFFER WHEN IT’S HER TURN.
Pouncival
P.S. Sorry that was all in caps. I felt mad.
7/20/1999
I feel much better today. I let Jequenia come in and make me feel better. It helped a lot. She also said that she would help with only Alonzo’s joke, and nothing else. THEN I felt even perkier. Yes! Finally, I have an accomplice (whatever that means)!
Pouncival
7/21/1999
Rumpleteazer is in for the biggest surprise of her life! In case you’re wondering, it’s like 4:00 in the morning, so I’m the only one up. I just laid my trap for Rumple. Here’s the plan. I put her Woolworth pearls on the family Pollicle. It looks so adorable! NOT! But that’s not all. I got this really strong styling gel, and made all of Rumple’s fur stick up. It looks funny! I took a few pictures. I also got BJ to give me one of those huge lollipops. I put it next to Rumpleteazer, and said that it was from Mungojerrie. Then I put this really nasty sour tasting stuff on it (believe me, it tastes horrible! I took a tiny lick because I couldn’t resist it and it tasted really bad). I can’t wait till she wakes up!
Pouncival
7/22/1999
They are gonna die so bad! Alonzo will die, even though he didn’t do this joke! Demeter will die, Victoria will die, and I already got Misto and Rumple, but maybe I’ll get them again. Those rats did something like a makeover on me, and I had to put up with Tugger’s teasing for the rest of the day. And they put on this pink nail polish that’s hard to come out. Thankfully, Jequenia found some remover in the alley. Good. Alonzo will get his joke tomorrow!
Pouncival
7/23/1999
Jequenia got Alonzo good! She did a great job of gluing Barney and Tinky-Winky to his face. She also glued Teletubby boxers to him too! The eternal question is now answered! Boxers or briefs Alonzo? We know what you wear. I gotta plan for Cassandra! BYE!!!! Wish me luck!
Pouncival
7/24/1999
Whoopee! Jequenia’s helping me with the rest of my jokes! Yes! I’m not alone! And that’s a good thing, since I saw Alonzo go join Demeter’s forces. And I don’t want to go against Alonzo alone. Nope. He can and will whup my butt.
There’s Jequenia. I have to get ideas for Cassandra’s joke for tomorrow.
Pouncival
7/25/1999
We’re springing the trap tomorrow! Cassandra’s gonna be sorry she helped with water balloons! Yup yup yup. There’s Jequenia! Gotta go get the stuff for the joke!
Not funny. Not funny at all! Demeter played this fake lottery card joke on me! And I thought I really won $10,000 (Sniff). Well, Victoria is going to learn her lesson after Cassandra learns hers.
Pouncival
7/26/1999
Yes! Got her good! Did you know that Cassandra has this really high-pitched scream? Did ya? I do! I learned that this morning. We let bugs loose into her lair yesterday night, and this morning, I woke at 5:00 a.m. to Miss Alarm Clock Cassandra.
Victoria is getting her joke tomorrow!
Pouncival
7/27/1999
Victoria paid! Not with cash, but with embarrassment! Jequenia and me got up in the middle of the night and put blue and red dye on her fur. Now she looks like a hippie or something. And she was really mad. Why? I mean, it’s a perfectly harmless joke. But Vicky got this look in her eye, like she was going to do something horrible! Oh no! I’m going to diiiiiieeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
Pouncival
7/28/1999
I went on a cruise! Demeter was kind enough to pay for my ticket and everything. NOT! She sent me out on a raft on the river while I was still asleep. Do you think I’m taking this well? YOU’RE WRONG!!! I’M STEAMED! Jequenia had to come into the river and get me. And I thought cats hated water. I guess I was wrong! And I was wrong about getting Jenny tomorrow. We’re going to get her on the 31st. Oh, and it’s about 11:00 p.m. if you care.
Pouncival
7/29/1999
Didn’t go to the junkyard. Nope. Neither did Jequenia. We’re getting loot for Electra, Bombalurina, and Demeter. They’re going to love the stuff we got!
Pouncival
7/30/1999
Hehehe! Gonna get Jenny tomorrow! Gonna get her good! Yup!
Pouncival
7/31/1999
WE GOT HER! Hahahahahahaha! Sorry, can’t write. It’s too funny! I’m going to BURST!
Pouncival
8/1/1999
Electra’s in for a surprise! I learned from Jemima that she has this thing about asparagus (the vegetable, not the Jellicle), and she hates it really bad. We’re going to redecorate her lair tomorrow!
You know what? I think Demeter knows that Jequenia’s helping me. So I told Jequenia, and she didn’t seemed bothered by it. She said she didn’t mind having jokes played on her. Don’t you think that’s sorta strange? Huh. I wish I didn’t mind. But I’m getting used to it more and more thanks to Demeter!
Pouncival
8/2/1999
Success! And yet, not success. We got Electra fine, yeah, but Demeter got us fine too! Me AND Jequenia. I was right when I thought that Demeter knew about her helping me! Well, in the middle of the night (everything happens in the middle of the night. I don’t get it), Demeter or somebody put these contacts in our eyes. We couldn’t see a thing! We kept bumping into things like trees, and cats. I bumped into Munkustrap once. He wasn’t happy about it. Jequenia told me that she walked right into the Rum Tum Tugger! She was so embarrassed! And he took it very well. I guess he’s used to it! But after forever, Mungojerrie told us that we had contacts in our eyes. He helped us get them out. Nice guy. He said that when we came to our major prank, he was with us. Yes! Now we have three against a million!
Now for the prank on Electra. Well, we draped asparagus all over her lair. And in the morning, we could hear her screaming. And then Asparagus (the cat) came into her lair and said, “I love this stuff!” He started eating it right off the walls! Luckily for him, it was cooked and now raw. But still! Asparagus eating asparagus. Gross! Ewww!!!!!! Very gross!
Pouncival
8/3/1999
Okay. I’m getting Etcetera on the 5th. Jequenia refused to help with her, because Etcetera had been nice to her when she was new. I think that’s a good reason. Because I already thought up Etcetera’s joke! Good for me.
Pouncival 8/4/1999
Demeter got me! Oh no! My reputation is ruined! Okay, I’m exaggerating. All she did was paint my face like a clown’s. No biggie. NO BIGGIE?! What’s come over me? I must be going crazy!
Back to reality. Etcetera’s going to pay tomorrow night. Yup. I have to go plan the final details.
Pouncival
8/5/1999
Success! She took the bait. Now all I have to do is wait. Gotta wait.
Okay, it’s about midnight right now. I can see Etcetera standing by the tire, waiting for Tugger. But she’s in for a surprise. There is no Tugger waiting for her. Just a bunch of paint! Bwahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so evil. I gotta go to sleep! Etcetera might see my little flashlight on in my fort.
Pouncival
8/6/1999
Owww.......my back hurts.......Tugger is too heavy!
Enough moaning. I was in a cat pile today. Fun most of the times, but not if you’re at the bottom! Here’s the stupid, idiotic thing I did. I started wrestling with Alonzo. What? You didn’t hear me? Well, you should’ve! I didn’t write it that small! I’m not good at writing small. I can only write big. Fine. Here’s what I said for you blind people. I was wrestling with Alonzo! There. Are you happy? Yeah, I was wrestling with Alonzo. Then Skimble and Misto started wrestling too, and then Mungojerrie called for a cat pile and jumped on Misto, which mushed me right into the ground. Then Tumble and Tugger joined, and every single Tom in the junkyard. Fun. Not if you’re on the bottom!
Pouncival
8/7/1999
I got Skimble, yes I did! What was that I heard? Did I hear the words, “No! Not Skimbleshanks the railway cat! He’s too nice!” Yup. I heard them. Too bad! I got Skimble. I set his pocket watch ahead two hours, so that he thinks he’s two hours late for his train! Aren’t I brilliant? What? Did I hear something else? Did I hear, “You’re not brilliant. You just have a bloated ego!” I heard that. And I resent that. So poop on you!
Pouncival
8/9/1999
Demeter got me yesterday. I didn’t write because I was too busy trying to get those stupid roller skates unglued from my paws. And it didn’t work! What a waste of time.
Jequenia and I pulled our prank on Bombalurina! We put, say, about 60 clocks in her lair and set them all for six in the morning. Jequenia knew that they’d be really loud so we put earplugs in before we went to sleep. I slept till about 9 until Bombalurina came outside my liar, ready to pull my head off. But she couldn’t open the door because I had locked it. Smart me. I knew that she would do that, so I locked the door because I didn’t want to die.
I have till the 13th to figure out what I’m doing for Demeter. I’m pulling her big prank on the 13th. I wonder why I picked a date like that?
Pouncival
8/10/1999
Okay, I’m getting ideas. Lots of ideas, scrambled in my smart, smart mind. GOTTA GOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pouncival
8/11/1999
Still thinking!
Pouncival
8/12/1999
IDEA!!!!! Ding ding ding!
Pouncival
8/13/1999
Okay, here’s the plan. I go in at 06,000,000 hours and attack! AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry (giggles). I’m just so excited! I’m getting Demeter today! Whoopee!!! Celebrate! C-E-L-E-B-R-A-T-E!!!!!!
I’m...heehee...giving Demeter a new look, if I may. I’m going to...ha!...paint a clown face...haHA!...on Demeter and dress her up like a clown. That’s not all. I discovered that she hates Raffi and all those other kid singers. So I’m going to play Raffi music mixed in with a little...ooooh...Barney and Lambchops and Mr. Rogers and Banana’s in Pajamas and Teletubies and all those other TV shows. But that’s not all (I hate going into detail. Takes too long). I’ll continue tomorrow! And I’ll gloat over my triumphant success!!! HAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Pouncival
8/14/1999
I’m gloating, I’m gloating! I got her, I got her! Now I can sorta rest.
Here’s the detail I didn’t want to go into yesterday. I put string all over her lair, so it was like a crazy spider web or something. There was also some slippery stuff in the entrance (her lair looked like a rat’s nest! Not to mentioning her fur. Uh-uh. That wouldn’t be very nice). And that is basically the whole joke. What? You say, What are you talking about? Of course there’s more! If there wasn’t, who are you and what did you do with Pouncival? Oh fine. There is more, but it wouldn’t be very nice to mention it. So sshhhhh.......
Pouncival
8/15/1999
Are you scared? Oh. You’re not? Well, I’m TERIFIED! So don’t BOTHER ME RIGHT NOW! Go away.
Pouncival
P.S. What is that? Ooooh, I can hear your little annoying giggling, saying in a cute sing-song voice, Pouncival’s afraid! Pouncival’s afraid! And I’m not! Ha ha! Well, let’s see how you like it when you have a bunch of angry Queens and a few Toms going against you!
8/16/1999
Grrrrrrr.......this was NOT a good day.
You wanna know why it wasn’t a good day? Well, I’ll TELL you why it wasn’t a good day. Jequenia gave me this great idea of attacking Demeter and her little group (ooooh, I could just wring their necks!) with squirt guns. And, me being me, thought it was THE best idea of the century. So I sent Mungojerrie to go fetch me (actually, steal is the word I should use) enough squirt guns to go around while I got our army force together. So I got (this list is long, so don’t just skim it and quit reading! This is good quality writing!) Tumblebrutus, Admetus, Plato, Rum Tum Tugger, Jequenia, Exotica, Mungojerrie, Tantomile, Coricopat, and me. Jellylorum wouldn’t do it because, ahem...quote, “Oh, I don’t want to have to do something violent and squirt my own kittens with water and get them wet! Why, they would get chilled to the bone! They might even come down with pneumonia!” Then she ran off, screaming at Victoria and Etcetera not to get wet. Crazy old Queen. Did I mention that she was wrinkled like a prune?
Anyway, getting back to the important stuff, we got ready to attack today in the morning. But guess what? What’s that you say? You give up? I SAID GUESS! You can’t give up! Anyway, like I said, Demeter was there waiting for us! Now how could she come up with the same brilliant idea that I.......ahem.......JEQUENIA came up with? Isn’t that weird?
So we started shooting. It was sorta fun, actually. Except for the fact that Tugger was complaining the whole time that the (excuse the language) babes were on the other side. But Bombalurina doused him pretty good for calling her a babe. Jemima wasn’t on any side. She was in the middle, with her own squirt gun, screaming, “Stop this joke war! Stop it already! Stop it stop it stop it!” Munkustrap wasn’t on any side either. He didn’t even know this was happening! Somehow he ended inbetween both sides and got squirted by stupidly standing between the crossfire.
But there was a problem. Our ammunition was running low, and soon I was the only one left with water. So I got Demeter (naturally!). But then I ran out and guess what? I SAID GUESS!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE NO FUN!!!!!!! Anyhoo, Saphinora and Jequenia came up and made sign this stupid peace treaty, saying that we could only play jokes on April Fool’s Day. No fair! But what if humans made every day April Fool’s Day? Hmmm......
Pouncival
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