The way you’ve never seen it before

Mirror: Gus

Queen/Witch: Jellylorum

Snow White: Victoria

Prince: Mistoffelees

Horse: Pouncival & Tumblebrutus

Huntsman: Munkustrap

Happy: Tumblebrutus

Grumpy: Rum Tum Tugger

Dopey: Pouncival

Sleepy: Alonzo

Sneezy: Plato

Bashful: Admetus

Doc: Mungojerrie

Animals: Jennyanydots’ mice & cockroaches

Director: Rumpleteazer

Assistant Director: Etcetera

Producers: Tantomile & Coricopat

Script: Pouncival

Special effects/Supervisor: Skimbleshanks

Scenery & Props: Cassandra

Lights & Music: Jemima & Electra

Costumes: Jennyanydots

Choreographers: Demeter & Bombalurina

Narrator: Jennyanydots

Snow White

Act 2

(the curtain opens to reveal Victoria/Snow White walking down a path towards the little cottage of the dwarfs)

Victoria: Wow! That’s a nice little cottage those dwarfs have there.

Jennyanydots: Snow White walks down by the cottage.

(she knocks on the door. The door falls over)

Victoria: That’s a cheap door. (she walks into the house) Hello? Is anyone there? HELLOOOOOOOOOO?

(the audience covers their ears)

Old Deuteronomy: Stop doing that!

Victoria: Oops. Sorry. Pouncival put it in the script.

Pouncival: Hey! Stop blaming me for everything that goes wrong in the script. I only wrote it. You are the actor. You keep messing up my ever-so-perfect script!

Rumpleteazer: Excuse me people? Can we get back to the PLAY?

Victoria: (clearing her throat and glaring at Pouncival, who sticks his tongue out at her) I don’t think that the dwarfs are home! And this place is a dump! A complete pigsty. Men are so messy! I think I’ll be a good woman and clean it up.

Pouncival: Finally! You said it right.

Etcetera: You call that a good script?

Jennyanydots: Snow White starts cleaning up the dwarfs pigsty home. When she’s done, she is very tired.

Victoria: I am very tired. I think I’ll go find the bedroom and go to sleep.

Jennyanydots: So Snow White goes to sleep. But while she is sleeping, the 7 dwarfs are coming home.

Dwarfs: Hi, ho, hi, ho, it’s off to home we go!

Etcetera: (whispering to Rumpleteazer) Did they get that right?

Rumpleteazer: I think so. But wasn’t it, “It’s off to work we go”?

Etcetera: (shrugs) I don’t know.

Mungojerrie/Doc: STOP!!!!!!!!!

(the dwarfs all stop and bump into each other)

Rum Tum Tugger/Grumpy: Don’t do that! I’m in no mood for this!

Tumblebrutus/Happy: Stop being grumpy.

Tugger: That’s my name and don’t wear it out.

Alonzo/Sleepy: Why did we stop? I’m getting…(yawns)…sleepy.

Mungojerrie: There’s a light in our house, you dope.

Pouncival/Dopey: Hey! I’m the dope.

Mungojerrie: ANYWAY…there might be a burglar in our house.

Admetus/Bashful: Really? I don’t think I want to meet him. I’m too shy.

Tugger: Aw, shut up.

Plato/Sneezy: Why don’t we…ah…ah, ACHOOO!!!!!!

Pouncival: Dude, not in my ear!

Mungojerrie: Why don’t we go inside? Okay.

Jennyanydots: So the 7 dwarfs trooped inside their little house.

Tumblebrutus: I can’t see a thing! I thought you said there was a light in here.

Tugger: I think that Mr. Sneezy over there blew it out.

Plato: Well, excuuse me! My allergies are bad.

Tugger: (grumbling) They’re always bad.

Mungojerrie: Can we just figure out what this is? (mumbling) This is more like the 7 Stooges instead of the Seven Dwarfs.

Admetus: I don’t want to. I’m too bashful.

Alonzo: Will you (yawns) stop with all this (yawns) “Oh, I’m too shy” or “I’m too bashful”?

Admetus: It is my personality.

Mungojerrie: Lord of the Seven Dwarfs, please help me deal with these lunatics that belong in the rubber room.

Pouncival: I’m going up there to find out what’s going on!

Plato: And that’s why he’s called…ACHOOO!!!

Tugger: …Dopey.

Plato: Exactly.

Jennyanydots: Dopey stood near the stairs, staring up them as if he was facing death.

Tumblebrutus: Go on Dopey.

Mungojerrie: Yeah, we’re right behind you.

Jennyanydots: So Dopey started climbing the stairs. There was a purring from upstairs.

Admetus: There really IS someone up there!

Tugger: (grumbling) Oh no! What are we going to do?

Admetus: Was that sarcasm?

Jennyanydots: Dopey finally got to the top of the stairs. He looked behind himself.

Pouncival: (shouting) Hey, I thought you said you were gonna be RIGHT BEHIND ME!

Mungojerrie: Oops.

Tumblebrutus: Now, let’s not be grumpy about any of this. Let’s all be happy!

Tugger: (whining) I don’t wanna be happy!

Jennyanydots: The room was dark. But Dopey could see something on their beds.

Pouncival: Hey, someone is in MY bed! MY bed! Why couldn’t they be in Grumpy’s bed?

Tugger: They just know better than to mess with the Grump Man.

Mungojerrie: Uh, Dopey? If there is someone in your bed, than that means…

Alonzo: THAT WE HAVE A STRANGER IN THE HOUSE!!!

Admetus: Really?

Plato: Can we go yet?

Tugger: Hey, he said that without sneezing!

Mungojerrie: Yes we can go! What sort of idiotic question is that? RUN FOR YOUR LIVES YOU IDIOTS!

Jennyanydots: All seven dwarfs stampeded out of their little cottage, leaving Snow White behind.

Tumblebrutus: Hey, why are we running?

Mungojerrie: Because I said we should.

Alonzo: But I wanna go back because I’m…(yawns)…sleepy.

Plato: Pleease?

Pouncival: Yeah, I want my fluffy pillow and my stuffed Macavity doll.

Tugger: You have one of those?

Pouncival: It’s really cool! Except his fur is all pointy and sharp, like he used too much hairspray or something.

Tugger: That’s the price of having awesome fur.

Mungojerrie: Will you two be quiet? All right, we’ll go back.

Jennyanydots: So the seven dwarfs walk back to their little cottage to face whatever is in their bedroom and to get Dopey’s Macavity doll.

Tumblebrutus: Now, let’s go in there and give whatever it is a nice, happy welcome.

Tugger: Will you ever quit with the happy stuff?

Tumblebrutus: (happily) Nope.

Mungojerrie: Dopey, you go and check it out again. Pouncival: No way man! Have you lost your marbles? You couldn’t even pay me to go back up there.

Alonzo: I’m not going up there (yawns) either. I’d fall asleep right away on the nice, warm, soft bed of mine.

Mungojerrie: Okay then. Grumpy will go up there.

Tugger: Are you crazy?

Mungojerrie: No, but whatever’s up there will be too scared of a grouch like you than to put up a fight.

Tugger: Oh fine. But you owe me big time.

Jennyanydots: Grumpy goes up the stairs, grumbling about his duty.

Tugger: (mimicking Mungojerrie)…whatever’s up there will be too scared of a grouch like you. Bahumbug.

(he enters the bedroom)

Tugger: I’m going to flick on the lights, no big deal.

(he flicks the light switch on, revealing Snow White sleeping on the bed)

Tugger: Hey, look! A babe. A very cute babe.

Mungojerrie: (calling) What’s taking you so long, Grumpy?

Tugger: Nothing! You can come up. It’s a really, really scary dangerous chick.

Admetus: (whispering) What’s he talking about?

Plato: I dunno. The usual babble.

Mungojerrie: Let’s go find out what all this is about.

(the dwarfs go up the stairs. Curtain closes, audience applauds. Act 2 is over)

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