The way you’ve never seen it before

Mirror: Gus

Queen/Witch: Jellylorum

Snow White: Victoria

Prince: Mistoffelees

Horse: Pouncival & Tumblebrutus

Huntsman: Munkustrap

Happy: Tumblebrutus

Grumpy: Rum Tum Tugger

Dopey: Pouncival

Sleepy: Alonzo

Sneezy: Plato

Bashful: Admetus

Doc: Mungojerrie

Animals: Jennyanydots’ mice & cockroaches

Director: Rumpleteazer

Assistant Director: Etcetera

Producers: Tantomile & Coricopat

Script: Pouncival

Special effects/Supervisor: Skimbleshanks

Scenery & Props: Cassandra

Lights & Music: Jemima & Electra

Costumes: Jennyanydots

Choreographers: Demeter & Bombalurina

Narrator: Jennyanydots

Snow White

Act 3

(the curtain opens to reveal six of the Seven Dwarfs climbing the stairs)

Tumblebrutus/Happy: I wonder what Grumpy found up there?

Pouncival/Dopey: I have no clue.

Admetus/Bashful: You know what kind of things the Grump Man finds.

Plato/Sneezy: Yeah. Weird things.

Jennyanydots: Meanwhile, in the bedroom…

Rum Tum Tugger/Grumpy: So, babe, what’s your number?

Victoria/Snow White: My number?

(the other dwarfs enter the bedroom)

Mungojerrie/Doc: Grumpy, what are you doing up here?

Tugger: Oh. I’m talking to the burglar.

Pouncival: Eeek!!! So there really is a burglar in the house!

Alonzo/Sleepy: Stop being such a dope. At least she’s not in my bed.

(he collapses on his bed and starts snoring)

Victoria: Why, hello! You would be the other dwarfs.

Tugger: Yeah, but none of them are as handsome as me.

Pouncival: Give it up! Stop spreading rumors about yourself.

Mungojerrie: Yes, we are the Seven Stooges…uh, I mean the Seven Dwarfs. But what the heck are you doing here in our home?

Pouncival: And what are you doing in my bed? Did you touch my fluffy pillow or my Macavity doll?

Tugger: You promised to show me that doll!

Pouncival: Oh. Right. Later.

Victoria: I’m Snow White.

All Dwarfs: The Princess?

Victoria: Yeah, I’m the princess.

Mungojerrie: (mumbling) Oh boy. Do we have problems.

Victoria: What do you mean?

Pouncival: He means that the ol’ wrinkly Queen has put out a reward for you.

Victoria: Really? Wow, I must really be important.

Tugger: Um, yeah. Whatever.

Victoria: Can I stay with you? The Queen will never know. And I can fix your meals and keep your house clean…

All Dwarfs: CLEAN?

Victoria: Yes. I cleaned it already.

(all the dwarfs dash downstairs)

Pouncival: My dust collection! It’s ruined!

Tugger: I'm sorry, man. You knew it had to go sometime.

Mungojerrie: All the dishes are clean!

Plato: Wow! I don’t think I’ve ever seen something clean in my life…ACHOO!

Tugger: I don’t get it. There’s no dust and he’s still sneezing.

Tumblebrutus: This is cool! It makes me even happier than I am already!

Admetus: (whispering) Is that even possible?

Pouncival: No clue.

Mungojerrie: Let’s go thank Snow White.

Jennyanydots: So the dwarfs go up and thank Snow White. They agree that she can stay. But after a few days…

Pouncival: I can’t take it! Everything smells so sweet and clean and…

Tugger: …womanly.

Pouncival: Thank you.

Admetus: Well, she did it out of something. I don’t know if it was love, or if we bore her.

Alonzo: I go with bore.

Victoria: Oh, dwarfies!

Plato: Dwarfies?

Pouncival: Is that even a word?

Tumblebrutus: What does she want now?

Victoria: You go to work now, okay? You need to earn your money to make a living. I can’t feed you if you don’t have money to buy the food.

Tugger: (whispering) At least we can get away from her.

Mungojerrie: Aw, you don’t mean that. How could you mean that?

Tugger: Easily.

Pouncival: I hope she eats an apple and dies!

Rumpleteazer: Pouncival! You just gave away the ending!

Pouncival: Oops. Sorry. Didn’t mean to.

Etcetera: What a dope.

Jennyanydots: So the Seven Dwarfs head off to the sock factory where they work while…

Pouncival: Hey! I don’t work at a sock factory.

Tugger: Then where do you work?

Pouncival: I work at the rubber chicken factory, you ol’ grump!

Jennyanydots: ANYWAY…So the Seven Dwarfs head off to wherever they work while Snow White stays at the cottage.

Victoria: I hope they have fun at work and are safe and don’t kill themselves.

Jennyanydots: Snow White starts cleaning the house…again…when an old beggar woman comes to the door.

Pouncival: (from offstage) She’s really the old prune!

Jellylorum/Queen/Beggar: Would you like an apple, dearie? They’re nice and fresh.

Victoria: Why, thank you! I think I’ll make an apple pie with them. But I’ll eat this nice red one now.

Jellylorum: Good! I think you’ll like them.

(she walks away)

Victoria: (crunching away on the apple) Yum! Dis is weally good.

Rumpleteazer: What did she say?

(Victoria keeps eating the apple. She finishes it and throws the core away)

Rumpleteazer: Victoria! You’re supposed to die right now.

Victoria: Oh yeah. I forgot.

(she falls down, dead)

Jennyanydots: When the dwarfs return home, they find her dead on the floor.

Pouncival: Oh well.

Tugger: Yeah, I mean she really did cook great.

Plato: Too bad.

(six dwarfs get ready to walk back out)

Mungojerrie: Hey! What’s with you? She DIED! You are supposed to be sad.

Alonzo: Oh. Yeah…(yawns).

(all of the six dwarfs burst out into fake tears)

Pouncival: Boohoo!

Tugger: Wahhh!!!!!

Admetus: How could she die? Why?!

Tumblebrutus: What’s the point of this? I can’t cry. I’m too happy.

Jennyanydots: The dwarfs set Snow White outside and by some chance, the prince rides by.

Mistoffelees/Prince: Oh look! A pretty dead lady. I think I’ll kiss her.

(he walks up and kisses Snow White)

Victoria: Cool! I’m back from the dead.

Pouncival: (offstage) Eeek! The living dead!

Jennyanydots: The Prince and Snow White get married and live happily ever after. The End.

Pouncival: See you next time!

The End

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