Lyrics to The Inhuman Ordeal of Special Agent Gas Huffer
taken from the comix book
You Are Not Your Job!
Have you heard the fable, about the chair and table?
Table said take a load off, the chair said im not able.
Aristotle, What was that you said? what was that you said?
Have you heard the riddle, about the bow and fiddle?
The Bow said lets just goof of, the fiddle said thats piddle
Aristotle, Rattle me in bed? Rattle me in bed?
Have you heard the quandry about the press and laundry?
The press said straighten up now, the laundry said im lonely.
Aristotle, What was that you said? what was that you said?
Aristotle, What was that you said? what was that you said?
Fall of the Kingfish
Blowing royal bubble throught those chilly lips puffing up it's time to sup and he's holding all the chips other fish are fleeting cause they know what's wise Ducking out the quickest route won't get caught by surprise barnacles avoid him cause he's so damn cold dont beleeve what you've been told kingfish knows what's bought and sold. meanwhile on the surface in a fiberglass boat some guy named jake out on the lake drifting though the time of his life out on the lake and he's playing out the line patiently waiting for a sign that before the day is though he'll have something that's worth frying fanning throught the water with monarchic ease churning moss yeah he's he's the boss and dont you forget it please what's that tasty morsel coming in to view sonft and pink the kingfish thinks its much too good to chew the mousetrap quick he snaps it up no time to cook everybody come and look kingfish got a mouthfull of cold hook meanwhile on the surface in a fiverglass boat some guy named jake is dreaming of the big one when a dip in the pole tugs him awake and now he's putting up a fight he's reeling in with all his might he hope before the day is though he'll have something good to bite and here matt starts whooping and hollering.
Sixty Three Hours
keep on into the night until you start to see the floaters,
keep your head on thight amidst the ripening of the odors,
until you've gone stone deaf from the screaming of the motor.
climbing all the way on a broken yellow rope,
and its beed a long time since ive seen a bar of soap.
chrildren listen up no matter how far you roam, dont you try this trick at home.
we dont got no time to stop and smell the flowers
we just came inside to get some candy sours
but then your pill in here that special powers
Trees are turning toward us then they'er turning away
they've seen it all before and they've got nothing to say
chrildren listen up no mater how far you roam, dont you try this trick at home
buring many hours and crossing many borders
keep your cool inspite of the natural odors
when your knees are week and the shifts are getting shorter
one is up above us flying back in a plane
one dont have a license and the others insane
chrildren listen up no matter how far you roam dont you try this trick at home!
Mosquito Stomp
Flamin' pond gas illuminates the bog
far off pounding on a hollow log
branches part to reveal a wiggy scene
big-eared freaks hopping like a bunch of frogs
dont be scared im well prepared: i got a jug, a can of beans, i just cleaned out my bear.
seven brothers doing the mosquito stomp wagging thier patooties to the home made womp.
way out here beyond the edge of town nobody will try to shut us down.
we can do exactly as we please.
There's no reason anyone should frown.
Did you ever wish to be where you could fail?
Then come sitdown with us... out here beyond the pale.
Dont be scared, I'm well perepared: i got a jug a can of beans, i just cleaned out my beard secen bridews shakin' and wigglin'.
watch out for the quicksand it'll suck you in.... LOOKOUT!!
carolina hot foot
The car was workin so they made it go... all the way to Charlotte just to see the show.
Pulled into the parking lost with time to kill... popped in a cassette so they could sit and chill.
But they forgot to take the proper steps to aviod an acient curse: never listen to the band your going to see or things will get worse.
Later on they milled around the club front wain' ... some bullies from the town came up and tried to bait 'em.
Heard a clickin' sound and someone said "let's do it".
Saw the open door and took a long dive to it.
Put your buckets down... come and gather round.
Got a tale to tell and it wont take long.
'bout a kid from Boone and his honeymoon with a thing we call the Carolina Hotfoot!
Hot foot
Carolina Hotfoot
Hot foot
atsa Hot foot
Matt's Mood
I got some finger grease In the pickle juice
You say apologize but it aint no use
You got opinions, yeah and they're hangin loose
You mean as much to me as an old caboose
boo hoo hoo baby who asked you? Not me
Now the time has come, to get some groving done
And if you dont approve I'd say get up and run.
We got a good thing yeah, Its coming in by ton
And i wont let your frown bug my good feeling non
This ain't Lo-fi this is Hi-fi. If you dont dig it dont expect to see me cry we do it just the way we think we should. Man, you know i got to make the gravy good.
And if it makes you feel like spitting it out i hope you dont think that ill sit and pout.
Because The whole time that your asking me why why why? im way to busy Learing how to fly
I got some finger grease In the pickle juice
You say apologize but it aint no use
You got opinions, yeah and they're hangin loose
You mean as much to me as an old caboose
boo hoo hoo baby who asked you? Not me
boo hoo hoo baby who asked you? Not me
boo hoo hoo baby who asked you? Not me
boo hoo hoo baby who asked you? Not me
Smile No More
I used to be so carefree...
never watned or a thing...
the sun shone down upon my head just like a diamond ring
but the clouds have come and crowded up my little patch of sky...
all the birds that used to be there now refuse to fly...
a chill has crept into the air and left me aking why
and so i sigh...
oh yes i sigh...
i used to be a smiley guy but something tells me i will smile...
no mo'!
no mo'!
no mo'!
no mo'!
no mo'!
no mo'!
the wind once had a friendly way...
of blowing thru my hair...
my tread was quick and light because i didn't have a care
but now my coat is wrapped around me...
to keep out the screamin' gale...
my eyes are pointed downward
and my face is drawn and pale
the ground is hard and rocky where ive wondered off the train...
i wanna wail,
i wanna wail,
i used to be a smily guy but something tells me i will smile...
no mo'!
no mo'!
no mo'!
no mo'!
no mo'!
no mo'!
I used to be so carefree...
never watned or a thing...
the sun shone down upon my head just like a diamond ring
but the clouds have come and crowded up my little patch of sky...
all the birds that used to be there now refuse to fly...
a chill has crept into the air and left me aking why
and so i sigh...
oh yes i sigh...
i used to be a smiley guy but something tells me i will smile...
i used to be a smiley guy but something tells me i will smile...
i used to be a smiley guy but something tells me i will smile...
no mo'!
no mo'!
no mo'!
no mo'!
no mo'!
no mo'!
Tiny Life
Put a man itno the middle of a bottle and watch him waddle thru the tawdy trails and tribulations of his tiny life
dont forget... to feed him often and before too long his heart will soften and if he gets bored just satisfy him with a tiny wife
watch the two of them together build a tiny house light as a feather, you can shovel in some tiny weather with a butter knife then... just sit aback and start to pull the strings. drop in tiny cars and tiny rings.
and when they're naughty, take it all away watch them moan and wail and rue the day.
pretty soon... they'll have a litter, just provide a tiny babysitter, and before they get too old and bitter they can have some fun.
... turn it upside down and watch 'em scramble thru very small debris and tiny brambles... to the top again where they can see the arifical sun.
you get youre jollies, observing tiny follies... you get you greatest pleasure.. playing with these living dollies
put a man into the middle of a bottle and
put a man into the middle of a bottle and
put a man into the middle of a bottle and
watch him waddle thru the tawdry trials and tribulations of his tiny life!
double "o" bum
you might think im a bum, because i get out of bed a little later than you. well you can sit on you thumb and yack untill you are dead, cause i got something to do
im taking orders fromt he president, cant let evil rule the day
NO WAY!
sometimes i wonder where the good times went.. but the worlds alot safer today
i might look a little shabby, but thats all part of the show. you can laugh all you want about the clothes i wear put me down mister, i dont care cause i know.
hey man
you might be slightly amused and think my only job is just sitting around. i dont have time for your views.
i'm keeping tabs on the mob and many dangers around.
if you think im lazy fine... but my edges are honed... sharp
i can spring into action in a moments time, and im strung tight like a harp
i might look a little shaby but thats all part of the show you can laugh all you want about the clothes i wear, put me down mister i dont care cause i know.
Hey man,
you might think im a bum because i get out of bed a little later than you, but you can sit on your thumb cause i got something to do
Sin of the Sloth
this couch is like a labrea
and i am the brontosaur stuck in its cloth yeah
the television tempts my feeble brain, just like a flame does to a moth yeah
molasses has replaced the blood, that once ran thru
my arteries and veins, yeah and no-one else can step into emancipate me from these tugging reins
wheels thrun but there is no traction can't snap this frame into action.
my legs are going liquind and my ass is sprouting roots just like a plant yeah
dont call and ask me out because though i might have the urge i just cant yeah, i sincerely hope th flames of dark
disaster never come to lick my door, yeah
'cause all the effort thats required seems nothing to show wheels thrun but there is no traction can't snap this frame into action.
nothing to show at the end of the day allthough i cry out help is no on the way
this couch is like a labrea
and i am the brontosaur stuck in its cloth yeah
the television tempts my feeble brain, just like a flame does to a moth yeah
wheels thrun but there is no traction can't snap this frame into action.
Numbnuts Cold
Cats yowling outside and i cant sleep
night crawlers doing there nightly creep
deep in the earch where the magma's hot temperatures high but up
here its not in fact
its cold
its really numbnuts cold and i think baby newyear is growing old
so say goodbye to summer breezes and get your self back inside cause its cold...
pile on the blankets and fire up the stove
dont get much done since they mercury dove
remembering sunglasses and B-B-Q's
none of it matters its yesterdays news
you tell me humans dont hybernate
well that an opinion i might debate
somewhere the sun is producing heat
my neighborhood is not on its beat
oh man its cold
its really numbnuts cold and i think baby new year is growing old
so say goodbye to summer breezes and get yourself back inside cause its cold..
Discovery Park
A picnic on a sunny afternoon
Im feelin' lighter than a baloon
Well its hard to believe it but I can percieve that...
Love is winding up and I'll hit me soon
We take a trail down the rocky beach
Sewage plant is well within our nasal reach,
but we just ignore it and we got no time for it,
The sun is really looking like a big peach
I see the future come and i dont wanna be one of the ones that end up without somebody good, somebody good
like you, like you
We find a spot and put the blanket down,
The rocks are kinda bumpy but we sure dont frown
Well it feels just like velvet and I can just tell the whole new Way of thinkin' is a comin' round
Unpack the fixins' and we start to eat
Sunlight is a playing with our sandy feet
Were makin small patter and nuthin else matters
cause now were just transmittin' an unspoken treat
I see the future come and i dont want to be one of the ones
that ends up without somebody good,
somebody good like you,
like you
We find a spot and put the blanket down,
The rocks are kinda bumpy but we sure dont frown
Well it feels just like velvet and I can just tell the whole new Way of thinkin' is a comin' round
Unpack the fixins' and we start to eat
Sunlight is a playing with our sandy feet
Were makin small patter and nuthin else matters
cause now were just transmittin' an unspoken treat
I see the future come and i dont want to be one of the ones
that ends up without somebody good,
somebody good like you,
like you
Money One Fun Zero
I saw it there on the floor
Did not know what it was for
and then it started to glow
a little piece of a soul
buzzards flying from far and near oh, i think the score is money one fun zero
if you let them in they'll pick you clean and then they'll go
where did all that pudding go
right through a leak in the bowl
you better plug up that hole
before you lose any more
buzzards flying from far and near oh, i think the score is money one fun zero
if you let them in they'll pick you clean and then they'll go
well all the dogs in the pound are just goffin around till one gets taken away
then all the ones left behind they'll howl and they'll whine 'cause they cant get out to play
I saw it there on the floor
did not know what it was for
and then it started to glow
a little piece of a soul
a little piece of a soul
a little piece of a soul
a little piece of a soul
Plant you now and dig you later
well thank you all for listening buy it seems as if the end of another record album is a loomin' round the bend.
its been a blast but now at last the time has come to go.
you dont need to show us out cause we can find the door
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
well its been awful nice of you
but i wont think twice of you
until the time when we will meet again
your kind attention really makes the time we spent worthwhile
well pull some strings so santa puts you on his good kid file
well if it turned you off or bummed you out or made you blue you listened to the whole damn thing so i guess the jokes on you
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
well its been awful nice of you
but i wont think twice of you
untill the time when we shall meet again
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
plant you now and dig you later
coming soon
some other album
If you find any type-o's or have any corrections mail me
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go back to the Gas Huffer Main Page
more to come
