2:33pm
I am not a natural traveller. This much is certain. It is something I will have to be taught, by force when necessary. I thought I had already figured out all I was going to learn from this particular trip, but now it's offerring new opportunities for lessons I'm not sure I'm ready for.
Enjoy your trip. Drink Coca-Cola.
We're in the jeep on our way to Phillip Island to see the Penguin Parade. As we left the
city, Aileen made a conclusive statement about the idea she's been hinting at for a while
now. Her proposition is that I extend my trip in Australia and stay for Christmas. Apparently
she is serious and has discussed it with Steve who agrees and informs me that I am welcome
to stay. Their reasons for this further invitation are varied and include:
1) "You've had plenty of Christmases at home, you should have one in hot weather."
2) "We have time off from work at Christmastime and would be able to do some more
things with you."
3) "We think it's unfortunate that you haven't been able to do more since you've been
here due to jetlag and no one to take you places."
4) "We're going to set up a trip to the 90 Mile Beach with the holiday house and speed
boat belonging to friends of ours. You could swim in the ocean to your heart's content."
This last one was most tempting for me. I am paraphrasing all that of course, but that's
the jist. They seem really adamant about convincing me to stay.
I know I definitely can't do that. I have varied reasons also and although I don't want my
decision to be based on any specific one, I will list them:
1) Christmas is a very big deal in my family
2) It is particularily important that I be home this Christmas because it is our first
Christmas with Shaughn and without Julie
3) It wil be a delicate Christmas here too, the first without their mother
4) Although I am very fond of this family and they have all become great friends to me,
they just aren't my family and I can't do Christmas without at least one Stefanson
5) I miss Shaughn more and more every minute and I don't think I can go one more day
than planned without him
6) There are necessary things for me to get done at home before I move out in January
7) I just can't do Christmas without snow
Although I appreciate the offer greatly, I don't think it would be the best thing for my general living situation or mental health. I need to go home. Part of me wants to stay of course, but it is being drowned out by an ocean of homesickness at this point. Some people don't understand the way I'm craving home and are worried that I'm letting my fears of the unknown, or more controversially, my desire to be with my boy, get in the way of having a good time here. Or an independant or educational time. This is all partly true and it would be ridiculous for me to deny that. I just think I did this the wrong way. I'm not meant to travel alone. This is not a weakness or a copout, it's just a fact. I need to share things, it is the very nature of my personality. So, I'm not choosing to go home because I miss my boy or my family or I am scared of my adventures (all of those are factors, but not reasons). I'm choosing to go home because I did it wrong this time. Or rather, I did it this way to learn the right way. I know next time I come here (and I WILL BE BACK), I will do it right and bring someone to share.
It's now 8:15pm and 46 minutes until the penguins are expected. That entry got interrupted in the middle when we stopped at Seal Rock and Cat Bay to look at the ocean (and some seals and surfers, respectively) and at Cowes, the main town on this island for lunch. Now we're sitting on concrete tiered seating in a cool ocean wind surrounded by Asian tourists and their children, waiting for many Little Penguins to walk up the beach to their burrows in the floodlights. We are not allowed to take pictures or the Penguin Parade Ranger will have strong words with us, or something. Steve and Aileen bought me a little plush penguin that speaks to put on my rearview mirror at home. Perfect, now all I need is a car. :) 8:22pm
to Monday, December 4, 2000
to australian tour diary
oz = can
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