Chapter Fourteen
"It's The Revenge Of The Snickers Bar!"
Isaac rolled over in his bed and cracked open one eye. The digital clock on the table beside Zac's bed told him that it was ten-thirty. He smiled lazily, stretching and then curling back up in the warmth of the duvet, enjoying his rare lie-in. He could hear Taylor, Zac and Avery out in the front yard, presumably throwing a ball about, judging by the screams of "Avie, don't aim at the window!" from Taylor and the inane giggles from Zac. It's good to hear him laughing again, thought Isaac, as there was a loud crash and Taylor's groan of, "You weren't supposed to aim it at the lawn table either!" He chuckled to himself, just imagining Taylor telling off his sister and moaning at Zac to help him clear up. That guy frets too much. He should stay in bed like me.
"Ike!"
Isaac groaned. Was another half-hour too much to ask? "Yeah?" he called back to his mom, his voice still raspy from lack of sleep.
"Are you up, honey? It's the phone for you!"
Funny, he hadn't even heard it ring. "I got it!" He leaned over the side of the bunkbed and grabbed the cordless phone from the table. "Yello?" he asked into the receiver.
"Ike? It's Honey."
Isaac froze. "Um, hey, Honey."
"Look, Ike, we need to talk."
"Yeah, we do," agreed Isaac.
"Can we meet somewhere?"
"Sure. Where?"
"How about Café Rizzio's? In, say, an hour?" suggested Honey.
"Yeah, sure, I'll be there."
"Okay, I'll see you there."
"Bye, Honey." Isaac clicked the phone off and lay back down into his pillows. A confrontation with Honey? That was all he needed.
***
Isaac pushed open the fancy plate glass door to Café Rizzio's and looked around him. Instantly, he saw Honey. He felt a pang in his chest as he realized how gorgeous she looked that day. She was dressed in thick black tights, a short black skirt and a fitted red V-neck sweater. She wore heeled loafers on her feet. Her makeup was subtle, but perfect and her hair cascaded in loose waves past her shoulder. Her blue eyes caught sight of him, and she waved, smiling.
Isaac smiled back and joined her at the table, ordering an espresso when the waitress stopped at their table.
Honey smiled at him. "Ike, where have you been? I haven't seen you for so long!"
Isaac shifted awkwardly in his chair. "Things have been kinda hectic. You know, Zac's been a little fragile right now…"
"Zac's fragile?" Honey laughed. "That'll be the day!"
Isaac frowned. "Sure, Zac's fragile. He's only fourteen, Honey. And his best friend just died."
"Yeah, but Zac…nah… Zac doesn't cry…"
Isaac shook his head, wondering how many people had that same attitude as Honey. Zac seemed tough, he seemed resilient, but underneath, he was still a lost little boy. He needed love and support as much as the next person, and Isaac didn't see the fact that he could be a little hyper sometimes as a reason to deny him the unconditional affection of a brother. "Zac can cry," he said simply, in a tone that told Honey to back off.
"Yeah. So…look…"
Isaac leaned back as the waitress placed his espresso down on the table. "What, Honey?"
"I…" Honey began to tug at her hair.
Isaac sighed, remembering his resolution that he was going to finish this game. End it, tie up all the loose ends and not let Honey treat him like a piece of crap. He owed himself that much. And since she'd been so mean to him, it would be fun to watch her squirm for a change. "Oh, Honey, I've been meaning to ask… How's Scott?"
"Huh?" Honey momentarily lost her composure, but quickly regained it. "Um…I don't know… I haven't seen him around much."
"Oh, I guess not. I mean, most people kiss with their eyes closed."
Honey's perfectly shaped eyebrows drew together sharply. "What are you getting at?"
Isaac waved his hand airily. "Oh, nothing much. Let's just say that Zac - although an insensitive clod - is useful for some things. Unlike you, he's seen Scott around lately. And he saw you attached to him. By the lip."
Honey shrugged. "Well, Isaac, we weren't really going anywhere, were we?"
Isaac stood up. "No, Honey, we weren't. But don't think you'll ever get anywhere with Scott either." He threw down a couple of dollar bills on the table to pay for his coffee and then left.
He sighed, trying to remember what it was he'd seen in Honey for so long. At first, he'd thought they were going to have a wonderful relationship, deep, meaningful and loving. But now he could see that it had been totally superficial and that the only person Honey could love was herself. It was quite sad, and Isaac felt sorry for her. He prided himself on being able to love other people. He would feel so lonely if he couldn't love anyone else.
He felt a lot better now, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from him. The whole thing with Honey had been annoying him ever since Zac had told him what was going on so long ago. It was good to finally clear things up, even if the break up had been so short, if you'd blinked, you would have missed it.
He felt light and happy, like nothing could bring him down. And as he turned the corner in the direction of is house, he began to sing, "I'm H-A-P-P-Y! I'm H-A-P-P-Y! I know I am, I'm sure I am, I'm H-A-P-P, H-A-P-P, only when I laugh…H-A-P-P-Y!"
***
Zac rolled over and stared at the slats on the bottom of Isaac's top bunk. He was bored. And depressed. And lonely. Isaac had gone out, mumbling something about coffee and Taylor was in the study, on the computer, typing an essay. Zac was under strict orders from his parents not to disturb him. Jessica was at her friend's house, Avery and Mackie were mucking about with Duplo in the den and Zoë was asleep. Since Duplo no longer held a great fascination for Zac, he was alone, with nothing to do.
So he'd taken to lying on Taylor's bed, staring at Isaac's mattress and thinking. But now he was bored of that, too. He just wanted to speak to someone. He needed to talk, or he'd go mad.
As if someone had granted his wish, Taylor walked into the room, his essay completed and saved into his schoolwork file on the computer. "Hi, Zac," he grinned. "Why the long face?"
Zac got up. "Tay?" he asked quietly.
"What?"
"Can I have a hug?"
Taylor raised his eyebrows in concern. This was a totally un-Zac-like thing to even consider asking. What was up with him? "Sure," he replied gently, wrapping his arms tightly around his brother. "Any particular reason?"
Zac shook his head, leaning his chin on Taylor's shoulder and pressing his arms against his back. "Do I need to have a reason to want a hug from my brother?"
"No," admitted Taylor. "But you usually do."
Zac sighed. "I'm just a bit down. That's all. No special reason."
"As long as you're okay." Taylor tightened his grip on Zac, squeezing him, then released him altogether, sitting down on his bed.
Zac sat opposite him. "I'm fine," he assured him. "Just a bit bored. And I just needed a hug."
"Going soft in your old age?" teased Taylor.
Zac smiled. "Probably. Hey, do you know where Ike is?"
"He's right here," crowed Isaac from the doorway. He spun into the room, pulling Taylor up off the bed and dragging him around the room in a clumsy waltz.
Zac had to laugh. The look on poor Taylor's face was priceless as Isaac danced with him, then proceeded to dip him backwards before throwing him back onto his bed.
Taylor eyed his elder brother warily, keeping his distance. "What the hell is up with you?" he asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.
"I," announced Isaac in a grand tone, "have just broken up with Honey."
Taylor blinked. "And this makes you happy?"
"Yeah!"
Zac shook his head. "Isaac, you are the only guy I know who would be happy if he got dumped!"
"Ah, Zac, my man, I didn't say I got dumped. I cornered her, she admitted cheating on me and I walked off." Isaac threw his coat down on the bed. "C'mon, aren't you guys happy for me?"
"I'm ecstatic for you, Ike. Just please don't ever, ever do that to me ever, ever again." Taylor hugged his knees tightly to his body.
"Yeah, especially not in public!" piped up Zac.
Isaac laughed. "Not so keen on dancing now, are we?"
"No, we most definitely are not," replied Taylor firmly, as the phone rang on the bedside table. He snatched it up, bringing the receiver to his ear. "Hello?" Instantly, the smile on his face was replaced with a frown. "I'll go see if he's home yet." He covered the mouthpiece with his hand and hissed, "Ike, it's Honey!"
Isaac sighed. "I'm not here."
Taylor turned back to the phone. "Sorry, Honey, he's not here."
"Yes, he is," argued Honey.
"How do you know?"
"I can hear him."
"He's really not here, Honey," Taylor insisted.
"Just put him on."
"No."
"Why not?"
Taylor looked helplessly at Isaac. "He's not in."
"Don't lie to me, Taylor."
"Umm…" Taylor bit his lip, staring at Isaac, who motioned for Taylor to give him the phone. "Oh, hang on. He's just walked in. Ike, it's Honey." He thankfully handed the phone over to his brother.
"Hello?" barked Isaac.
"Ike, hey…"
"What do you want, Honey?" he demanded.
"Wow, touchy!"
Isaac rolled his eyes. "What did you expect?"
"Look, Ike, I'm sorry. We can make this work, we really can."
"Honey, are you schizophrenic?" asked Isaac in all seriousness.
Across the room, Zac choked in surprise and Taylor began to pound him on the back.
"I beg your pardon?" Honey spoke coldly.
"Well, in the café, you told me that we weren't going anywhere. Now you want to try again? Have you seen your doctor lately, sweetie?"
Taylor began to laugh hysterically, and Zac joined in, having stopped choking.
Isaac motioned for them to be quiet, as Honey snapped icily, "Isaac, I do not think this is funny. Provide entertainment for your brothers in some other way!" and slammed the phone down.
Isaac switched the phone off and started killing himself laughing.
"What happened?"
"She hung up!"
"I'm not surprised!"
"Oh, that was priceless," chuckled Isaac.
Taylor frowned. "Ike, for three years, this girl was like the love of your life. Now you enjoy making fun of her? How so?"
Isaac shook his head. "I was in love with her looks. Honey Perkins the Barbie doll is brilliant. Honey Perkins the person is not quite so great."
"Oh…" Taylor nodded his head knowingly, even though he hadn't a clue what Isaac was talking about.
At this particular moment in time, he didn't think anyone knew what Isaac was talking about, except perhaps Isaac himself.
***
"I'll get it!" yelled Taylor, bounding down the stairs and throwing the front door open.
Matthew Torwood stood on the front porch, bundled up in a thick, bright yellow jacket that wouldn't have looked out of place in Zac's wardrobe. He reminded Taylor personally of that yellow Teletubbie. Laa-Laa, or whatever her name was. All he needed was the TV aerial sticking out of his head and he'd be her double.
Matthew hadn't been around in a long, long time. Not since Corey had been killed. Zac hadn't seen any of his friends since then. And that had been when he'd most needed them.
Taylor was actually surprised to see him. Zac and Matthew had always argued about everything, not really sharing the same point of view, or perhaps sharing a too-similar point of view, so that the egos clashed. Whatever the reason, although they hung around together, Zac and Matthew had never been close, and Taylor knew this.
"Hey," he greeted him softly. "It's been a while."
Matthew smiled uncomfortably. "I know. I just… I guess… It's been different. It's weird, him not being here."
"I know."
"Is Zac here? How is he?"
"He could use a friend," Taylor told him, thinking back to that afternoon, when Zac had asked for a hug. "He's pretty sad."
"I'm sorry for not coming round sooner," apologized Matthew. Taylor's tone was almost accusing and it was making him feel uncomfortable.
Taylor shrugged non-commitally. "He's just up here."
Matthew followed Taylor upstairs to the bedroom, where Zac lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. "Zac?" he asked quietly. It shocked Matthew to see Zac like this. He was usually so full of energy.
Zac rolled over, and, seeing who it was, got to his feet. "Matthew," he whispered, reaching out and gripping his hand, slapping him awkwardly on the back the way that guys do.
"Hey." Matthew squirmed uncomfortably.
Zac could see Taylor's eyes boring into the back of Matthew's head as he watched the clumsy reunion of the friends. No wonder Matthew felt awkward, all the hostility coming from his brother's eyes. "Tay, could you be somewhere else?" he asked quietly.
Taylor blinked, as if coming out of a trance. "What? Oh, sure, yeah, sorry." He stumbled out of the room, cheeks flaming with embarrassment.
Zac rolled his eyes. "Sorry about him. He's just a little… I dunno…"
Matthew smiled, sitting on the bed. "It's okay. He just cares about you. Must be nice, having older brothers who care about you."
Zac remembered that Matthew's three older brothers were all away at college and that, even when they were together, they didn't get along. "Yeah," he admitted. It's really nice."
"So, how've you been?" asked Matthew.
Zac shook his head. "Not good. I just keep expecting him to be there, you know? It's crazy, Matt, it's really crazy…"
"I know," Matthew whispered. "I saw you walk out on the funeral…"
"I couldn't take it. We were sitting, praying to the guy who'd taken his life…"
"I was gonna come after you, but Tay and Jess ran out after you."
Zac nodded. "Yeah."
"Then Tay walked back in. How come?"
Zac raised his eyebrows. "Uh, Jess thought it would be better if he left me."
"Suffocating you, huh?"
Zac looked surprised.
"Hey, I know Tay." Matthew laughed uneasily.
"I guess you do," sighed Zac.
"Zac, man, can I ask you something?"
"Shoot."
"How come this has affected you more than anyone else?" He picked at the edge of his fingernail, not wanting to look Zac in the eyes. "What did you and Corey have? You're even more upset than Libby."
At the mention of her name, Zac froze. He'd been blocking her out of his mind lately. Libby Reynolds was the last person he wanted to think about. Now Matthew wanted answers. Zac didn't want to give them. What was he going to do?
Just then, Taylor walked back into the room. "Zac, are you okay?"
Zac looked up, blinking back the freshly formed tears.
"What did you say to him?" Taylor demanded angrily, turning to Matthew.
"Tay, it's okay," protested Zac weakly.
Matthew stared blankly at Zac. He'd never seen him cry before. What had he said to make him so upset? "Zac… I'm sorry…" he faltered, confused and embarrassed.
"It's okay," Zac assured him. "I just don't wanna talk about it."
"Um…look, Zac, I'll catch you later." Matthew didn't want to sit there a minute longer, Taylor staring at him coldly through accusing eyes. "Bye." He edged his way out of the room, then ran down the stairs, running from Taylor. He was really freaking him out. He'd always been protective of Zac, but this was just ridiculous. He was like a mother eagle, clawing out the eyes of anyone who dared go near her baby.
Zac rubbed his eyes. "Why'd you do that, Tay?"
"Do what?"
"Chase him away. That's my friend. What gives you the right?"
"He got you in tears!" Taylor's eyebrows knit together in confusion. He'd only been trying to help.
Zac sighed. "No, Tay, he didn't. I got myself in tears. Libby got me in tears. It wasn't Matt's fault."
"He must've done something to upset you." Taylor sat down on the bed, rubbing his forehead.
"He just asked a question. And you scared him off."
Taylor shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry, Zac. I'm really sorry. I just… I don't wanna see you get hurt again. It makes me feel so useless…"
Zac smiled, taking Taylor's hand. "Tayles," he began, using his baby name for Taylor. "It's Ike's job to be the paranoid big brother. I know you're only trying to help, but I'm a big boy now. I can ward off my own friends, fight my own battles, make my own bed…"
Taylor narrowed his eyes. "I don't make your bed…"
"Bad analogy," Zac waved his free hand dismissively. "But you get what I'm saying?"
Taylor nodded. "Yeah. Leave the over-protective stuff to Ike?"
Zac grinned. "Kinda. It's nice to know someone cares, though."
"Oh, we all care, Zac…"
"I know."
Taylor squeezed his hand. "I'm glad."
"Where’s Ike?"
"Oh, he's down in the garage." Taylor shrugged. "I think he's still working on the radio we found ages ago."
"How come you're not helping?"
"I had a little brother to be over-protective about," joked Taylor.
Zac laughed. "So you took over his job?"'
"Yeah. Hey, Zac?"
"What?"
Taylor looked him up and down thoughtfully. "If Ike's your over-protective big brother, what am I to you?"
Zac grinned, pretending to ponder the question. "You're my…my…my cross-dressing, pretty boy big brother."
"Gee, thanks." Taylor rolled his eyes.
"Nah, you know what you are?"
"What?"
Zac smiled at him, squeezing his hand again. "You're my Taylor."
Taylor smiled back, enjoying the bonding session. It had been a while since Zac had seemed pleased about a brother-to-brother talk. "Zac?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm everyone's Taylor…"
***
Isaac shifted his weight from foot to foot, waiting for someone to come to the door. He pulled his coat tighter around his body, trying to keep out the harsh December wind. "Come on…" he muttered.
Finally, the door to the Davidsons' house swung open. "Ike!"
Isaac smiled. "Hey, Neil! Long time no see!"
"I know! Look, man, I gotta jet. I have to work."
Isaac grinned, eyeing the familiar gold and red M. "Bring me back a Big Mac."
Neil laughed. "Hey, some of us have to work to get cash. We can't all just thrash at a guitar and yell made up words like MMMBop!"
Isaac sighed. "Shame we're not all as talented as me…"
"Yeah, right! You know your brothers carry you!"
Isaac snorted. "Whatever. Anyway, is Rhia here?"
"I dunno, man. Check her room."
Isaac frowned. Neil didn't even know if Rhia was in? They used to be joined at the hip. Shrugging, Isaac stepped past him and climbed the stairs up to Rhia's room.
Stopping outside the door, he could hear Fastball blaring from her stereo. He rapped on the door. "Rhia?" he called.
The music got considerably quieter, and then Rhia pulled the door open. "Ike!"
"Can I come in?"
"Yeah, sure." Rhia picked up a pile of magazines from the bed and chucked them carelessly to the floor.
"I wasn't sure if you'd want to see me… After last time… Are we cool?"
Rhia smiled. "Sure we are, dummy. You're always cool with me!"
Isaac grinned back, sitting down in the spot that Rhia had cleared for him. "So, how're things?"
"I'm okay."
"What's up with you and Neil?"
Rhia's face fell. "Uh, nothing."
"Did you guys have a fight?"
"Ike, we don't talk much any more," Rhia told him sadly. "It's like…I mean, we're twins. We're supposed to be real close. But he hates me. He told me I was useless."
"Don't listen to him." Isaac took her hand. "I'm being objective, cos Neil's my friend too, but he's talking crap, there."
Rhia shrugged. "Oh, maybe I am useless. I dunno." Suddenly, she dived off the bed, grabbing a bag from the floor. "Like my new top?"
Isaac blinked at the sudden change of subject. He looked at the electric blue top with Y2K emblazoned across it in shiny silver letters. "Very…current."
Rhia grinned. "Don't you like it?"
"It's cool."
"Actually, I might try it on. See if it fits properly."
Isaac frowned. "Why didn't you try it on in the shop?"
"Oh, because I was hoping you'd be here so I could strip for you," replied Rhia sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
"Rhia…"
She grinned. "It was a communal changing area. You know I'm morally opposed to them."
"No… I just thought you were unnecessarily insecure about your body…"
She shrugged. "Oh, yeah, that too." She pulled off her top and quickly swapped it for the blue one. "You like?" she asked, twirling a full three-sixty.
Isaac nodded. "Suits you, sir."
"Why, thenkya!" She mimicked some aristocratic English person.
Isaac laughed. "God, your English accent's nearly as bad as Tay's!"
Rhia looked shocked. "I'm hurt." Then she grinned. "Okay, I'll switch back now." She pulled the blue top over her head. "Uh, Ike? I'm stuck. Gimme a hand?"
Isaac shook his head. "God, Rhia, only you could get stuck in a top!" He took the edge of the T-shirt and tugged it upwards, over Rhia's head. Then he stopped.
"Uh, Ike? Keep pulling, please. I think I may suffocate soon."
"I'll pull it off if you promise to tell me truthfully why there's a gigantic bruise on the back of your arm."
"Ike, don’t…" Rhia's voice came muffled through the top.
"No, Rhia, every time I see you, there's a new bruise."
"I'm clumsy," muttered Rhia.
"No one's that clumsy. Not even you."
Rhia sighed. "Okay, I'll talk. Just please get me out of this thing!"
Isaac gently pulled the top over her head. "Try taking your arms out separately next time," he advised. "Now, spill."
"Ike, can I please put my sweater back on first?"
Isaac blushed. "Sure."
Rhia pulled on her baggy, blue U. Tulsa sweatshirt she'd gotten years ago from her elder cousin.
"Okay. Rhia, what's going on?"
"Ike, I really don't want to tell you…"
Isaac sighed, taking both her hands. "It's because I care, honey."
"Uh, wrong chick, Ike. I'm Rhia, not Honey," she joked nervously.
Isaac ignored her. "I care about you, Ree. I promise that whatever you tell me, it'll stay a secret."
"Promise me you won't act on it?"
"Cross my heart." Isaac took one of his hands and drew a cross over his chest.
Rhia sighed. "Thanks. Uh…"
Isaac knew this would be hard for Rhia, and he wanted to make it as easy as possible. "Rhia, is Jake hitting you?" he asked gently.
She nodded miserably, tears welling in her emerald eyes. "Not all the time, though, " she added quickly. "Just when he's been…"
"Been what?" prompted Isaac.
"Uh, he has a few drinks, sometimes."
Isaac nodded. It was what he'd been afraid of all along. "How often, sweetie?"
"Not that often. Just sometimes…" Rhia began to cry softly. "Just when he's been with his friends…or…uh…he has a hipflask, and he…" she trailed off, burying her face in her hands.
Isaac wrapped his arms round her, pulling her in close and rocking her. "Rhia, why are you still with him, baby?" he whispered.
"When he's not drunk, he's so sweet to me. He tells me he loves me and he buys me flowers, to say sorry. I love him, Ike," she sobbed.
"What does he do to you?" Isaac asked gently. "When he's drunk?"
"It'll be fine, until I try to stop him drinking. Or it used to be, but now, he'll try to get me to…umm…"
"Sleep with him?"
Rhia nodded against Isaac's chest. "I'm not ready, Ike, but when I tell him that, he gets mad and starts saying that I can't really love him, then, and he hits me…"
"Why didn't you tell me before?"
Rhia gazed up at him through her tears. "I'm ashamed, Isaac. I'm so weak."
"Leave him, then."
"I can't. I don't want to."
"Rhia, you have to want to!"
She smiled a weak, watery smile. "You'd think, huh?"
Isaac shook his head. She was crying, yet she was still trying to make him laugh. That was Rhia for you. "I can't make you do anything, Ree, but I think you're being dumb."
"Thanks, Ike. That was what I needed to hear," she replied wryly.
Isaac smiled down at her and kissed her on the top of her head. "Rhia, you could do so much better…"
She looked up at him, her eyes wet and sparkling, her chin trembling.
Isaac gazed down at her. She looked so sweet, so vulnerable. He wanted to protect her, to make it all better. Slowly, he moved down closer to her and brushed his lips lightly against hers.
She tensed immediately, then relaxed and kissed him back.
He could taste her salty tears and feel her pain as they kissed. He held her tightly, scared to let her go, incase something hurt her. He suddenly realized that he was close to tears himself, The thought of some great big brute like Jake doing this to his Rhia…
Quickly, she pulled back. "Ike, I…"
The full reality of what he'd just done hit him. "Oh, God, Rhia, I'm sorry. I just… You looked…"
"It's okay. We weren't thinking. We're both hurting. It's only natural…" Rhia frantically smoothed down her long blonde hair, as if removing the evidence that anything had happened.
"I'm really sorry…"
"It's okay, really." Rhia laughed, but it was blatantly forced. "Let's just not talk about it, ever."
Isaac nodded. "Do you want me to go?"
"I think that's a good idea."
Isaac's face visibly fell, but nonetheless he got to his feet. "I'll call you tomorrow."
Rhia nodded, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.
He gave a pathetic little wave and pushed the door open.
"Ike?" she called softly.
He turned, staring at her. The pain was evident in her green eyes.
She swallowed and began to speak, so quietly, he could barely hear her. "Don't be sad. The only reason I want you to leave is because I'm scared I'll kiss you again."
Isaac nodded. "I'm scared we will, too. I'll call you tomorrow."
"You do that," replied Rhia softly. She watched Isaac disappear through the door and rolled over, beginning to cry hard into her pillow.
***
Zac adjusted his scarf, covering his rapidly numbing nose. He blew on his hands, trying to get some heat into them. Trust him to forget his key on the coldest day of the year. How to keep warm? Singing might help… The first thing that popped into his head was Toni Basil's "Mickey". At least he could clap to that too. He began to chant, "Oh, Mickey, you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey! Hey Mickey!" He clapped along, and the feeling began to return to his hands, albeit painful and stinging. He sat down on the porch swing, muttering, "Oh, Mickey, what a pity, you don't understand, you take me by the heart and you take me by the hand," over and over again. It was the only lines he could remember.
"Didn't know you were a Toni Basil fan."
Zac froze. That teasing voice was all too familiar. "Hi, Libby," he muttered softly.
"What are you doing out here? It's below freezing!"
"I'm locked out."
"Why didn't you come over?"
Zac looked at her quizzically. The last place on Earth he would go would be Libby's. "Duh," he mumbled.
"Can I sit down, Zaccy?"
Zaccy? What the hell was she playing at? Last time he'd checked, they weren't even speaking.
She sat down regardless, very close to him. "I've missed you, Zac. Did you miss me?"
Zac stared at her incredulously, unable to speak.
"Cat got your tongue, honey?" She leaned over, flashing her cleavage. Why the hell was she wearing such a skimpy top when it was freezing?
Finally, he located his tongue. "Libby, what's your deal?"
"Pardon?"
"Last time I looked, we weren't speaking."
"Well, things can change, baby," she drawled. "There ain't nothing to stop us now."
Zac felt his blood freeze. "What do you mean?"
"Look at it this way," she began breezily. "There's nothing to stop us being a couple now. Corey's gone."
"What?!" Zac put an awful lot of emotion into that one word.
"Oh, get over it Zac. I love you, you love me."
"Libby, I can't believe this!" yelled Zac, jumping to his feet. "I really don't believe you! Don't you have any respect at all?"
Libby stared at him blankly.
"Corey was my best friend! Don't you think I feel guilty enough about what we did as it is?" His voice caught in his throat. "I can't do it, Libby."
"Oh, for God's sake, don't cry, Zac," sneered Libby. "You can be such a girl."
"And you can be such a mean, heartless, self-centered bitch!" screamed Zac, hurling a flowerpot at her.
"You'll be sorry you did that." Libby spoke coldly. "You're just lucky it missed me."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to throw it at you." Zac really hadn't meant to. He'd just been so angry.
Libby walked over to him and took his hands. "Look, Zaccy, I love you. I want us to be together. Don't you want that too?"
Zac shook his head. "No. Leave, please."
Libby smiled at him. "I'm not going anywhere, Zac. You want me, you know you do. Now kiss me."
"No!" yelled Zac. He pushed her hard and she toppled onto the porch swing.
Libby jumped up. She grabbed his hair, then dragged him over by the roots and shoved him down on the swing. She spat in his face, her own contorting into an evil smirk. "You're a pathetic excuse for a human being!" she shouted, then turned and ran from the porch, across the street.
"Screw you!" screamed Zac.
Just then, Taylor and Jessica appeared, carrying the milk they'd been sent to the local store for. "What happened?" asked Jessica, sitting down beside him.
"Zac, are you okay?" Taylor sat on his other side. Instantly, his arm was around his shoulders, squeezing gently, and making Zac feel safe and loved, yet overwhelmed and suffocated at the same time. "We heard the yelling."
"Tay, can we talk inside? Have you got a key? I'm freezing out here."
"Sure." Taylor unlocked the door, and the three of them went into the den, Zac and Taylor slumping together on the couch and Jessica easing herself into the chair. "Who were you yelling at?"
"Libby," replied Zac miserably. "She actually had the gall to suggest we get back together."
Taylor's mouth dropped open. "No way."
"Way," countered Zac grimly. "She said that Corey couldn't stop us now."
"That's terrible," gasped Jessica, hugging her arms around herself.
"I used to think she was nice." Taylor shook his head, as if unable to fathom how Libby could have been so mean.
"She was." Zac leaned back into the sofa. "I dunno…it's hard, Tay. So hard… I mean, talk about double standards… I was perfectly happy to betray Corey when he was alive, but now he's dead, I suddenly find my morals… I'm a bad person."
"Oh, no, Zac, not this again." Taylor took his hand. "You are a wonderful person, Zachary Walker Hanson, you know that and I just think you like to hear us say that!"
Jessica shifted over to the couch and sat behind Zac, wrapping her arms around his neck and rubbing her cheek off his. "He's right, Zac. You're pretty neat."
Zac smiled. "You guys ain't so bad yourselves."
Jessica laughed. "Gee, thanks. Anyway, I'm beat. I'm going to bed." She kissed Zac on the cheek, and hugged him once more. "Love ya, you pig."
Zac grinned. "Love ya too."
"What, no insult?" Jessica looked surprised.
"Can't think of one," explained Zac.
"Oh. Fine then." She let him go, and wandered over to Taylor. "Night, Tay," she mumbled, kissing him on the cheek.
"Night, Jessie," replied Taylor as she left the room.
"Wow, she's getting old," stated Zac, hugging a cushion against his stomach.
"I know. She's overtaken you in the maturity stakes…"
"Very funny." Zac responded by sticking his tongue out.
Taylor sighed scratching his knee through his jeans. "Oh, Zac, what're you gonna do about Libby?"
Zac shook his head. "I really don't know. I'll just ignore her, I guess."
"You can't avoid her forever. Mom and her mom are good friends and she lives right across the road," Taylor pointed out.
Zac shrugged. "That's what I have to do, Tay."
"You can't hide from your problems."
"Says who?"
Taylor threw up his hands, exasperated. "Logic!"
Zac got to his feet. "Well, you tell Logic from me that I don't give a damn what he says!" He stomped out of the room, slamming the door hard behind him.
Taylor sighed heavily, burying his face in his hands, listening to his brother's retreating footsteps stomp up the stairs. "Logic's a she," he muttered to no one in particular, flopping down sideways on the couch.
***
Zac stared at the flashing numbers on the digital clock. 3:17… 3:17… 3:17… It kept flashing up, as if tormenting him about the fact that he wasn't asleep like he wanted to be. "Urrggh…" groaned Zac, pulling his pillow over his face, blocking out the incessant digits. He didn't want to be lying awake. He wanted to sleep. He was tired. Exhausted, even, but he wouldn't let himself sleep. Every time he started to drift off, his brain would flash back to the confrontation with Libby on the porch, and then Taylor's face would pop up from nowhere… You can't hide from your problems… "Oh, piss off, Tay!" muttered Zac, rolling over onto his side.
Why was his brother always so irritatingly right? Couldn't he be wrong for once in his perfect little life? Zac knew he couldn't honestly expect to never see Libby again, unless he planned on becoming the Hanson Family Hermit. And that was something he didn't want to do. He could just ignore her whenever he saw her, though. That would be possible.
He didn't know what Libby had been thinking. Had the girl no feelings whatsoever? Expecting them to get back together because Corey was dead and couldn't stop them? What sort of sick-minded person would think that, so soon after the funeral? It had only been a month or so. Zac certainly wasn't ready to forget Corey, even if Libby was. Did that make him a girl? Zac didn't know.
He'd never thought that he was particularly sensitive and sentimental - that was Taylor's job - but wouldn't any normal human being be upset over the death of their best friend, especially if they had something to feel guilty about, like he did? Libby was just strange, he concluded, pulling the comforter tighter around his shoulders.
In his bed opposite, Taylor sighed heavily in his sleep and rolled over to face Zac. Screwing up his eyes in the dim light, Zac stared at Taylor, listening as his brother began to snore. Didn't look like Zac was going to get any sleep that night.
Listening to Taylor grunting and snorting in his own bed, Zac began to ponder how their relationship had changed over the past year. At the start of the year, sure, they'd been close, but now… Now Zac felt such a strong bond with Taylor, it was scaring him. He felt like he was drowning in a sea of his brother's affection and protectiveness. He knew Taylor was only doing it because he loved him, but, every now and then, Zac wished that he would realize that his little brother was growing up. It wasn't as if there wasn't another little brother he could mollycoddle; Mackie would probably love it.
Taylor whimpered, rubbing his cheek off his pillow, and Zac's harsh thought shattered into a million pieces. What was he thinking? He sat up, smiling down at Taylor. What they had was wonderful, and Zac knew it. For some reason, he didn't want to let Taylor know that he knew it, but deep down inside, he was aware that not many brothers could say they were so close. It was a huge comfort to know that no matter what was bugging him, Zac could count on Taylor to make him feel better. Whether he hugged him, made him laugh, made him cry, whatever… Zac knew he could depend on his brother, and it gave him a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. That was the thing with Taylor. He gave everyone that warm, fuzzy feeling. He was so affectionate towards everyone that it made them feel like they were the most important person in the world.
Zac shifted his gaze upward towards Isaac, feeling slightly guilty about the Taylor worshipping, even if it was private. Isaac was also a wonderful person. Not any more than Taylor, but certainly not any less either. He wondered how Isaac really felt… To Zac, it seemed that Isaac was seen by many as the odd brother, just tagging along for the ride. Zac shook his head sadly; it hurt him to know that people thought of Isaac like that. Truth be told, there probably wouldn’t be a Hanson if it weren't for Ike. Sure, they'd all be alive, but the band probably wouldn't. It had been Ike that had written that first song all those years ago, as crap as it seemed to him now, but at the time, Zac realized, he'd thought it a work of musical and literary genius. Of course, he had only really been four years old, but still, he remembered the feeling of pride he had felt, knowing that it had been his brother, his flesh and blood that had written that song. And two years later, when they had begun to perform, when Isaac told the crowd that he had written that song, Zac and Taylor had almost burst in their little matching outfits, so proud they were of their older brother.
Now though, it tended to be Taylor in the limelight. Taylor the Heartthrob. Or Zac the cute little one. Zac sniggered to himself. He wasn't so little any more… He was taller than both of his brothers. Biting his lip, Zac stared at Isaac, wondering if it got to him. He said that it never bothered him, but Zac knew it had to hurt. To be thrown aside in favor of your younger brother had to make you feel inadequate. He just hoped that Ike didn't have any silent resentment bubbling inside of him that would make him snap one day and kill Taylor.
He snorted, shaking his head. The thought of kind, gentle Ike strangling a member of his family was to absurd to entertain any longer.
Pulling open his drawer, Zac rummaged around until he found his secret candy stash. All this reflecting was making him hungry. He selected a bag of peanut M&Ms and stuffed the paper bag back into the drawer. His eyes rested on the white envelope propped up against the back of the drawer. He picked it up, examining the plane ticket inside. It had slipped his mind that they were off to New York in a few days. Popping a blue M&M in his mouth, he smiled. It would do them all good to get away from Tulsa, even if it was only for three days to do some promotion work for the new album.
Zac found himself wondering how the general public would accept the new, mature Hanson. From teenie-posing in Internet chat rooms, he knew that the general consensus seemed to be that Hanson were a dead, teenie band. He just hoped that some of the cynics would listen to the music before judging them. They had an interview with a magazine in New York. Zac hadn't been keen on doing it. The magazine wanted to talk to them about the press conference. Taylor hadn't been keen either, but Ike had said that it was a good chance to swing the mess back round to their side, and Zac could see his point. As long as Taylor behaved himself and didn't start to howl like a baby. He'd been happier lately though, Zac thought. It was evident in his face.
Sighing, Zac pulled his covers back up around him and aimed the now empty, screwed up candy wrapper at the wastepaper basket. "Yes!" he hissed as the paper landed square in the bucket.
Instantly, a wave of tiredness washed over him, and he rolled over sleepily, glancing at the clock. It flashed 4:14am now. Zac felt his eyelids droop, and in five minutes, he was fast asleep, dreaming of magazine journalists, playing at Mayfest and Isaac turning into a deranged cartoon character, choking Taylor with a piece of string…
***
Zac dived across Isaac, pressing his nose against the Perspex window. "Ooh, Ike, look! Clouds!"
"Go 'way, Zac," mumbled Isaac, pushing his little brother back into his seat and rearranging the New York Times on his lap.
"But it's so cool! Look, there's one that looks like Bill Clinton!"
"Zac!" groaned Isaac. "Will you sit down and shut up?"
"Ike, just look!" Zac grabbed Isaac's face by the cheeks and squished his face together, making him look remarkably like a goldfish. He shoved his brother's face against the window. "You see?"
"I see." Isaac wrestled Zac's grip from his face. "Go bug Taylor."
"Taylor's sleeping," Zac explained, jerking his head sideways. "See?"
"Oh, yeah. Lucky Tay."
"Aww, Ikey, c'mon, don't be a killjoy!" Zac dug into the pocket on the seat in front of him. "Will they show a movie?"
"I doubt it. It's not that long a flight."
"Well, what am I s'posed to do for entertainment?"
Isaac stared at him, holding his gaze for a full minute. "Read or something."
"I don't wanna read!"
"Listen to music."
"I could do that," Zac agreed.
"Good."
"But I don't wanna!"
"Zac!" Isaac rolled his eyes. "Look, you're fourteen. Entertain yourself!" He picked up the newspaper again and opened it, covering his face and enclosing himself in a little paper tent, safely away from his hyperactive little brother.
Zac slumped back in his seat, pulling out a Snickers bar from his rucksack and deciding to listen to his music anyway. He found his Discman and rammed the earphones into his ear and pressing play. "Dizzy" by the Goo Goo Dolls rattled through his head. Zac shot up about three feet in the air and quickly lowered the volume, gasping for breath. He skipped to the next track and the gentler opening of "Slide" filled the air. He bit into his chocolate bar and leaned back in the seat, closing his eyes.
Next thing, he could hear "Iris" and he was being shaken awake. "What?" he asked grumpily, forcing his eyes open and seeing Taylor, grinning goofily down at him.
"You were snoring. The woman across the aisle was starting to look incredibly pissed off," he explained.
"Oh."
Taylor leaned over and snatched one of Zac's earphones from his ear. "Zac, this is my CD," he complained.
"So?"
"Did you ask?"
"Yeah." Zac rolled his eyes.
"When?"
"Uh…like the second last week of the Albertane Tour?"
Taylor snorted. "Oh, don’t lie…"
Zac grinned. "Anyway, when did you wake up?"
"About ten minutes ago. I'm bored now. Mr I'm-Pretending-I'm-An-Intellect isn't up for much conversation."
"I'm reading," muttered Isaac, turning the page.
"Yeah, he's reading," repeated Taylor, rolling his eyes. "Uh, Zac, you okay?"
Zac clutched his stomach as his skin paled, knowing what was going to happen. "It's the revenge of the Snickers bar," he told Taylor, his eyes glazing over.
"Oh, hell!" cursed Taylor. "Get to the bathroom!"
"I can't…" Zac quickly reached forward, grabbing the paper bag from the seat pocket and stuck his face into it.
"Eww, Zac, gross." Taylor shook his head as Zac began to empty his stomach.
Zac shot him an impatient look. "Help, then!" he hissed, exasperatedly.
"Oh, sorry." Taylor leaned over and pulled Zac's hair away from his face. "Honestly, Zac, you know you're a bad traveler. Why did you pig out on all that chocolate?"
"Tay, there's a time and a place and this is not it!" muttered Zac, momentarily taking his face out of the bag. His expression contorted and he hastily leaned forward into the bag again.
Sighing, Taylor slipped an arm round him, patting his back. Eventually, the retching noises stopped and Zac emerged from the bag. "You okay?"
Zac nodded. "I guess."
"Go wash out your mouth," instructed Taylor. "And do…something with that bag!"
"Yes, ma'am!" Zac saluted, getting to his feet. Immediately, there was a beep and the intercom kicked into action, the Fasten Your Seatbelt sign illuminating.
"Oh, great," muttered Taylor.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain, Pilot Atherton speaking. Please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts. We are currently beginning our descent into the John F. Kennedy Airport. The local time is 5:15pm and the temperature is a chilly 45 degrees. On behalf of American Airlines, I wish you all a pleasant stay in New York."
Zac sat back down. "Hold this, Tay," he asked, handing out the bag.
Taylor absently took it.
Zac fastened his seatbelt and began to laugh.
Frowning, Taylor finally clicked. "Eww, Zac, you grotbag!"
Zac giggled, taking the bag back. "Hey, Tay?"
"Mmm?"
"Are you looking forward to this? You know, getting back out there and stuff?"
Taylor turned to face him. "Yeah," he nodded. "Yeah, I am."
Zac smiled. "Me too."
Isaac finally folded away the paper. "Me three," he added, leaning forward.
Spontaneously, Zac held out his hand, palm down in front of him. Isaac and Taylor placed their hands on top of his, wondering what he was doing. "Hanson on three," whispered Zac, watching his brothers' faces change from surprised to beaming. "One…two…three…"
"HANSON!" they yelled in unison, throwing their hands up in the air and ignoring the strange looks from the other passengers.
Unable to keep the grin from his face, Zac glanced each way at his older brothers, seeing the same idiotic grins on their faces. Yup, he decided, Hanson were back.
And dang, did it feel good…