She sat, the wind blowing her hair, tossing it about. As she sat, the sun in her face, the wind in her hair, on that beautiful day, she asked herself a simple question, one with no answer. <What now?> She sat there, wondering.

****

Yuffie whistled a happy tune to herself as she strolled along the path. It was a gorgeous day, and despite what the others may have thought, she wasn’t focused completely on materia. She loved hiking, risking her life in the cliffs, and climbing the bluff that stood tall over the sea. She tested her reflexes and her strength. Yes, it certainly was a good day for training.

She paused as the top of the bluff came into view. There was someone sitting there. Squinting, she could make out a slight figure, with long, dark hair billowing around like a cloak. Yuffie sighed. Ever since Cloud’s death, Tifa just hadn’t been herself.

Killing Jenova had had the unexpected effect of causing Cloud’s death. A few days after the whole Meteor incident, he had grown ill. Apparently, the Jenova cells within him had died, causing many of his cells to die as well. He soon slipped into a comatose state that he had never woken up from. That had been about half a year ago. Everyone mourned the loss of their leader, without whom they would never have made it. But they had all recovered, slowly but surely, everyone except Tifa.

Yuffie had never been able to figure out what exactly the relationship between Cloud and Tifa had been. If was obvious that Tifa had strong feelings for the spiky-haired warrior, and up until the night before the final battle, it had been a mystery as to whether or not Cloud returned those feelings. Cloud had showed that, indeed, he did care about Tifa as more than a friend. But, really, their relationship hadn’t really had time to bloom or develop in any way. There were still so many secrets, so many truths untold.

Now that Tifa was acting as if she were a zombie, numb from emotions, not cracking a smile, and speaking only when spoken to, Yuffie wondered who and what exactly Tifa was? She’d always thought of Tifa as a friend, an older sister, but she realized that they really didn’t know much about her. She knew that Tifa had grown up in Nibelheim, that her mother had died when she was young, and that her life had been wrecked in the Nibelheim incident.

They didn’t know what kept her going, if she had any other relatives, what her life in Nibelheim had been like. It was a mystery to them what she had done in those two years Cloud had been gone. She hadn’t ever told them what had killed her mother. Then again, those kinds of things were hard to talk about. But Yuffie realized that, under her optimistic nature, Tifa was a complex person. They didn’t know why she was always so up and hopeful. When she asked questions about Tifa’s past, Yuffie had always gotten vague answers, wrapped up in words and meaningless phrases. Tifa always worded her answers carefully, as if she were afraid of saying something.

Who was she, anyway? She was Tifa Lockheart. She was optimistic. Not anymore. She was happy and cheerful. That died with Cloud. She cared for, maybe even loved, Cloud. Cloud wasn’t here anymore. She had friends. Who, Yuffie realized, hadn’t been such great friends, after all. In the aftermath of Cloud’s death, they had all been quiet and subdued. And they had all been uncomfortable around Tifa. When she came near them, any one of them, they had all stammered and directed their gazes elsewhere, for fear of upsetting her.

With all these thoughts in her head, Yuffie headed towards Tifa’s forlorn shape.

****

As she reached Tifa, Yuffie called out, "Hey, Tifa! Whatcha doing up here?"

There was no response. Yuffie stood behind Tifa, reaching out to tap her shoulder. Before her hand reached Tifa’s shoulder, Tifa’s hand shot out and caught it. Surprised, Yuffie, pulled her hand back. Tifa had been sad, Tifa had been numb, but Tifa had never been hostile or angry. She repeated herself. "Whatcha doing up here?"

Still no reply. Yuffie waited patiently. Tifa shifted, and said in a soft voice, "Getting ready to leave a life that never was."

Confused, Yuffie blinked and said, oh-so-intelligently, "Wha?"

"Nothing, Yuffie. Absolutely nothing. That’s what I have. That’s what my life is."

Yuffie opened her mouth to reply, but Tifa cut her off. "I know what you’re going to say, so you don’t have to say it. I do have something, I’ll pull out of it, and all your other bullshit. Not to sound offensive or anything, but shut the hell up. I don’t need any more pretty words. You have no idea what I’m going through."

By now, her voice was harsh and bitter. Yuffie was shocked, and slightly angry. She was only trying to help. She opened her mouth to say something, to yell at Tifa, to scream. But then, she closed her mouth. Tifa was right, she had no idea what Tifa was going through. None. Tifa spoke up again, in a softer voice, the edge still there but mostly melted. "I know you’re trying to help. Thanks for trying."

This time, Yuffie replied. "Tifa…you’re my friend. I don’t wanna see you like this. You’re not yourself."

Tifa laughed, a bitter, angry, sharp sound. "Myself? What is myself? Who am I? All my hopes and dreams came from someone who didn’t even had his head screwed on straight."

Yuffie was astonished. Never, in all their travels, all their adventures, had Tifa spoken one harsh word against Cloud. Never. That was like saying that Yuffie hated materia and was incredibly polite. It just didn’t happen.

"Don’t get me wrong, I loved him. But that’s just it. I loved him. Loved. Past tense. So now, what do I do? Who am I? What am I? I have no dreams. I have no love. I have no life.

"Do you get it now, Yuffie? Do you understand why I was so happy and cheerful now? No? I’ll tell you why. Cloud loved her, his Tifa from Nibelheim. He loved the little innocent, naïve, sweet, happy Tifa. SHE DIED, Yuffie! Do you understand that? My happiness and sweetness and cheerfulness died in Nibelheim with my dad and my friends and everyone I ever cared about. So I pretended. I pretended that if I was cheerful and sweet and good again, maybe, just maybe, fate would be kind, would give me a break!" she laughed again, that horribly bitter noise. "I fooled myself into thinking that, if I were good, I’d get my innocence and happiness back. When I found Cloud again, he was my last chance! Maybe…maybe even if he didn’t love me, even if it was the dead me he loved, if I was the old me, he’d fall in love again, and then, slowly, I let down the mask, and he’d love me! I was so happy with him. I almost felt like myself. Then, she showed up." Here, Tifa clenched her fists, narrowing her eyes.

"Sweet, innocent, pure, beautiful Aeris. Everyone loved Aeris. Oh, Aeris is sooo tough, but she’s still innocent and pretty and oh, Cloud, please would you protect me?" she mimicked Aeris’ voice. "I know you think, holy shit, this girl’s got mental problem. Aeris hated me. Oh, sure, you all think, who, Aeris? Oh, you’ve got to be ****ing with me, Aeris didn’t hate anyone!" She snorted cynically. "She used to threaten me. Tifa, you *****, stay away from my Cloud. He loves me, or he will, anyway, and I don’t need your shit poisoning his mind. Oh, sure, sometimes she snapped out of it and she apologized. She had a mental problem, see? Split personality. It happened a lot to the Cetra, ‘cause they’re so close to the Planet. So, part of her was pleasant and nice, but the other part was spiteful. Shinra took her life from her, like it took mine. Killed her parents, junked her up when she was young."

Tifa took a deep breath, keeping the tears from spilling over. "He knew he was gonna die. He told me. I cried and sobbed and screamed. He held me in his arms, told me it was gonna be okay. Told me," a few tears spilled over, "he told me that he loved me, and that he’d always loved me."

Curious, Yuffie asked, "Why do you sound upset that he loved you?"

"’Cause I lied to him. He loved an act."

"So why’d you come up here?"

"To put it bluntly, I came up here to die."

"What?"

"I have nothing left."

"Sure you do. You can still build a new life, Tif. You’re young and smart and pretty, you could do whatever you want."

"I don’t think so, Yuf."

<She hasn’t called me that in ages!>, Yuffie realized. "Give it a chance. You still have lots of time. I’ll stick with you and you can start over. Begin a new life."

"Give me a good reason not to die."

"I told you, you’re smart and funny and young. You could do anything, be anything. You get a second chance. C’mon. Come with me." She grabbed Tifa’s arm.

Tifa didn’t resist, so Yuffie started pulling her down the path. After only a few steps, Tifa suddenly pulled her arm away and turned, walking to the edge. Startled, Yuffie turned to see Tifa pause at the edge. She took an envelope out of her jacket and laid it on the ground, under a golden locket and a blue flower. She straightened up and looked at Yuffie. "Thanks. For everything. Telling me I had I second chance. Asking me to stay. Thanks, but I’m sorry. I don’t think so."

With that said, Tifa took two steps back, and ran forward, launching herself into a dive before hitting the blue, blue water so far below. And that was that.

*****

(Yuffie’s POV)

So I’m sitting here. I’m twirling the flower idly in my right hand. The locket’s safe in my pocket. There’s a picture of Tifa’s parents on one side, and one of Cloud on the other. I’m staring at the letter, pulled out of the envelope by me a few moments ago. I stare at the words, not quite seeing them , but reliving the moment just now.

Tifa’s letter, her final letter, says:

Dear friends,

It’s funny. There’s so much we really didn’t know about Tifa. I’m just realizing that. Like how we had no idea that she had a middle name. I’ll get up, in time. I’ll call the others and they’ll come. But right now, I’m just going to sit here. I’ll just sit here and ask myself questions that will never be answered. Yes, that’s what I’ll do.

Why couldn’t Tifa just try? Who was she, really? Why didn’t she talk to us? Could I have stopped her? Was she telling the truth about Aeris? What else happened that we didn’t know about?

I just realized something. I didn’t really give her a reason to live. I just told her that she was nice and young and pretty.

Bye, Tifa.

We’ll never forget you.

I whisper these words into the wind as I lean back and stare into the sky. It was such a beautiful day.

And a phrase rolls through my mind. What did I do wrong?

****

fallen’s notes: hey. I’m kinda in a depressing mood, which is why this is kinda sad. Also, I’m stuck on A Strange Kind of Party, What You Have, and LCBB3. And, on that Aeris thing, all I can say is…sorry Aeris fans. Not that there are any reading this. That idea popped into my head one night just before bed, and it wouldn’t go away. I threw it in at the last second. Later!

fallen’s notes (after minor editing) I didn’t really edit this the first time around…I added a couple things, nothing major. Anyway, this was inspired by a Ranmafic that I read one day…for any Ranma fans that might be reading this (shyeah, right), I’m referring to On the Edge. I’m not particularly proud of this piece, but *shrugs* oh, well. ‘til we meet again!