The last time the Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup most of their fans were in diapers. Coincidentally, the next time they win it those same fans will be back in diapers again!

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Q: How many Maple Leafs players does it take to lift a Stanley Cup?

A: Anyone born after '67 will never know!

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Q: What is the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a 30-year-old virgin on his first date in ten years?

A: The virgin has a better chance of scoring.

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Q: Why won't the NHL give Hamilton a team?

A: Because Toronto would want one too.