| BLONDE JOKES PAGE 1 |
- Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
- A: Alone.
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- Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
- A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
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- Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
- A1: Blow in her ear.
- A2: Buy her another beer.
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- Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
- A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!
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- Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant?
- A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.
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- Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
- A: Tell her she's pregnant.
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- Q: What will she ask you?
- A: "Is it mine?"
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- Q: How do you get a blonde off her knees?
- A: Come.
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- Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
- A: She drowns it.
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- Q: A blonde is going to London on a plane. How can you steal her
window seat?
- A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle
row.
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- Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor?
- A: By the ears.
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- Q: How do you know if a blonde likes you?
- A: She screws you two nights in a row.
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- Q: How can you tell if a blonde has just lost her virginity?
- A: Her crayons are still sticky.
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- Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
- A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!
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- Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
- A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.
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- Q: What do you call a blonde mother-in-law?
- A: An air bag.
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- Q: What nickname is most used by blondes in order to boost their
popularity?
- A: B.J.
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- Q: Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped?
- A: Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open.
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- Q: Why do blondes wear earmuffs?
- A: To avoid the draft.
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- Q: Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
- A: They have to pull their own pants down.
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- Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
- A: To keep their ankles warm.
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- Q: Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee?
- A: It's too hard to retrain them.
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- Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
- A: Remove their underwear.
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- Q: What do blonde virgins eat?
- A: Baby food.
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- Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
- A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
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- Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
- A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
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- Q: What's the mating call of the brunette?
- A1: "All the blondes have gone home!"
- A2: Has that blonde gone yet?
- A3: When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?
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- Q: What's the mating call of the redhead?
- A: "Next!"
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- Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
- A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
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- Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over
her ears?
- A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
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- Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for two hours?
- A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
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- Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
- A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.
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- Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
- A: They don't know the route.
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- Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week?
- A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
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- Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
- A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
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- Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
- A: One has whiskers and fishy flaps, and the other is a walrus.
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- Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
- A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks
whining.
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- Q: What is foreplay for a blonde?
- A: Thirty minutes of begging.
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- Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
- A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.
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| Notes on the material appearing on this page: |
- Created, edited or updated on: 05.10.99
- Copyright information: Copyright holder not
known
- $idekick's laugh-o-meter rating: 5
(making fun of blondes is an American pastime)
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