- Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?
- A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.
-
- Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
- A: You don't, they're born that way.
-
- Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
- A: They're too hard to peel.
-
- Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip
cookies?
- A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
-
- Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
- A: For throwing out the W's.
-
- Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
- A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
-
- Q: Why does a blonde have fur on the hem of her dress?
- A: To keep her ankles warm.
-
- Q: How can you tell when a blonde is having a bad day?
- A: Her tampon is behind her ear and she doesn't know what she did
with her cigarette.
-
- Q: What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?
- A: Way to go team!
-
- Q: How can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator?
- A: By the chipped teeth.
-
- Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
- A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)
-
- Q: How do you keep a blonde busy?
- A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
-
- Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
- A: To keep from bruising their ears.
-
- Q: Why do blondes have vaginas?
- A: So guys will talk to them at parties.
-
- Q: Why does the blonde stand in front of a window during a thunder
storm?
- A: She loves taking pictures (flashes, got it?).
-
- Q: What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?
- A: Full.
-
- Q: What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually
active?"
- A: "No, I just lie there."
-
- Q: What's the first thing a blonde says in the morning?
- A: "Thanks, guys..."
-
- Q: What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of the pool?
- A: Air pockets.
-
- Q: What does "Bones" McCoy say before he performs brain
surgery on a blonde?
- A: "Space. The final frontier......"
-
- Q: How many blondes does it take to screw the entire Bengal's team?
- A: Just One... Boomer Esiason.
-
- Q: What's brown and red and black and blue?
- A: A brunette who's told one too many blonde jokes.
-
- Q: What do you call a brunette and three blondes on a corner?
- A: You don't, you see if you've got 3 condoms.
-
- Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
- A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
-
- Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto
Maple Leafs?
- A: She fell out of the tree.
-
- Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
- A: One.
-
- Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?
- A: She didn't know what ONE came first...
-
- Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
- A1: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.
- A2: Their mothers told them not to talk with their mouths full.
-
- Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
- A: Divorced.
-
- Q: What do you call a blonde without an asshole?
- A: Divorced.
-
- Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
- A: Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the
blow dryer!
-
- Q: How is a blonde like a postage stamp?
- A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
-
- Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde?
- A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.
-
- Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
- A: She threw it off a cliff.
-
- Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
- A: She fell out of the tree.
-
- Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
- A: The cow fell on her.
-
- Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
- A: Bobbing for french fries.
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