- It was another Payday, and I was tired of being a Mr.Goodbar. So
I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark
and Fifth Avenue, and I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey
Sweetart, how'd you like to Krunch on my Big Hunk for a Hundred Thousand
Dollar Bar?"
-
- Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and, Uno, it
was like pure Almond Joy. I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds
'cause it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. It was
all I could do to hold back a Snicker and a Krackle as my Butterfinger
went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream "Oh Henry,
Oh Henry!"
-
- Soon she was fondling my Peter Paul and Zagnuts and I knew it wouldn't
be long before I blew my Milkduds clear to Mars and gave her a taste of
the old Milky Way. She asked if I was into M&M, but I said "Hey
Chicklet, no kinky stuff". I said "Look you little Reeces Pieces,
don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you just take my Whatchamacallit
and slip it up your Bit O'Honey?" (and what a piece of Juicyfruit
she was too).
-
- She screamed, "Oh, Crackerjack, you're better than the Three
Musketeers!" as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her
Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I was givin' it to her Good 'n' Plenty, when all
of a sudden... my Starburst. As luck would have it, she started to grow
a bit Chunky and complained of a Wrigley in her stomach. Sure enough, nine
months later, out popped a Baby Ruth.
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