- 10. Tweety Bird: You know there's a
problem when every single kid roots for the "hero" to be devoured
in each episode. No sense of humor. No personality. Annoying voice. Plus
he was always tattling. I knew kids like this growing up. Most of them
ate paste, sat in the front of the bus, and got me in trouble.
-
- 9. Grape Ape: A real moron. All he
knows how to say is his name. And he does so non-stop for a half an hour.
I'd rather watch "Davey and Goliath covet their neighbors model airplane."
-
- 8. Olive Oyl: Am I the only one out
there who thought this was one lady NOT worth fighting over? And that's
what they did every episode! She talks like Edith Bunker and looks like
a pipe cleaner with a cheap hat. Hey, Popeye, you're a sailor... you can
do better! Plus Olive can never decide if she wants to date that jerk Brutus
or not. The girl is just bad news.
-
- 7. Petunia Pig: Remember her? Porky's
girlfriend? She was a real zero. What was the point of her anyway? To make
Porky look good? Come on, who did they think they're fooling. We all know
Porky is gay.
-
- 6. Pebbles & Bam-Bam: as teenagers
What were they thinking? Were they trying to cash in on the "Joanie
loves Chachi" thing? And how come every cartoon teenager plays in
crumby rock band? An awful -and thankfully short lived- idea.
-
- 5. Pepe LePew: Hello, Warner Brothers,
ever heard of sexual harassment? Let's take a good look at this character;
a horny, rapist skunk who's attracted to other species! NOT good for the
kids. Plus, worse still, he's French.
-
- 4. Alan: From Josie and the Pussy Cats
How weak was this "Fred" clone? They even gave him an ascot,
for crying out loud. Well, I knew Fred. I grew up with Fred. Fred was like
a friend of mine. Let me tell you something... you're no Fred.
-
- 3. Zan and Zana: the Wondertwins How
many times do we have to say it? Leave the crime fighting to the professionals!
"Form of... an idiot!" They should have been voted out of the
Hall of Justice a long time ago. There's no room for dead weight in this
game.
-
- 2. Kazoo: From the Flintstones It's
like "Hmmm, a miniature, green spaceman who appears only to Fred Flintstone
isn't enough of a stretch. I know! Let's give him a snotty London accent!"
Um, could I get a drug test from Hanna Barbara, please?
-
- 1. Scrappy Doo: And, really, who else
COULD it be? This guy ruined Scooby Doo! Just came in and ruined it! Scrappy
is the Yoko Ono of Saturday morning cartoons. I can't even talk about it
anymore. It's too upsetting.
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