- May all your teeth fall out except for the one with the toothache!
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- May your daughter's hair grow thick and abundant, all over her face!
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- May onions grow in your navel!
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- May the IRS disallow all your deductions!
-
- May you have an interesting and exotic vacation, in Haiti!
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- May the Easter Bunny leave you rotten eggs and jellied green beans!
-
- May you be given a lump of coal for Christmas!
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- May all of Santa's reindeer get the shits on your roof!
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- May you be stricken with epilepsy while having open heart surgery!
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- May you be ticketed for driving 56 on the Interstate highway!
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- May you be described in the paper as an "alleged child molester."
-
- May you swallow a fish bone whilst eating sushi!
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- May all the BBSs deny you access forevermore!
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- May you try your luck at roller skating, while descending the stairs!
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- May a mean surgeon sew up your asshole!
-
- May your boat capsize in the middle of the lake, and may your mother
attract attention as she runs up and down the shore, barking."
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- May the fleas of a thousand dead camels infest one of your erogenous
zones.
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- May you turn into a chandelier, and hang all day and burn all night!
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- May the desert winds blow a pissed off scorpion up your undershorts.
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