- 1. PMS is every woman's prerogative. It is always a good enough
excuse for anything, and take advantage of it whenever possible.
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- 2. Don't be afraid to gossip. It is your responsibility to make
sure your friends are well-informed about the latest happenings.
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- 3. You may change your mind whenever you wish.
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- 4. Never give a direct answer when a man asks you a question.
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- 5. It is not wrong to withhold sex to get what you want.
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- 6. Always ask a guy "What are you thinking?" after sex.
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- 7. If he doesn't call, take it as the most personal if insults.
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- 8. Never believe "I love you" if it comes before sex.
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- 9. Always wear matching bra and panties for the first few dates,
then you can switch to the comfortable old plain white cotton once you
have impressed him with the stylishness of your underwear.
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- 10. ALWAYS say that he is the best you've ever had.
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- 11. Fake orgasms when necessary.
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- 12. Find a "cute giggle". Practice it constantly.
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- 13. Learn to toss your hair around, even if it's short.
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- 14. Never admit that you're not a real blonde.
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- 15. Shopping always makes you feel better.
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- 16. When with a group of girls, it is customary to talk particularly
about the girl who is not present.
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- 17. Always try to set up your single female friends with your single
male friends.
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- 18. Never forget that men are pigs.
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- 19. Jeans: the tighter the better.
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- 20. The fact that you menstruate makes it okay to bitch as much
as you want about anything you want.
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- 21. Criticize every other woman behind her back.
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- 22. Never reveal the full extent of your intelligence to a man.
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- 23. Pretend that you can't do certain "guy" things like
change a flat tire. It's even okay to claim that you can't pump gasoline
or check the oil. Helpless females make a guy feel macho.
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- 24. If a guy really cares about you, he should be able to read your
mind. You needn't have to explain yourself, ever. And he should know what's
expected of him without you saying anything.
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- 25. Be a tease.
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- 26. Men always want to know how they compare to the last guy you
were with. Always say "You're not as well hung as my last boyfriend."
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- 27. Never Dutch treat.
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- 28. If he doesn't spend money on you, don't waste your time.
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- 29. Guys like to see you flirt with their friends.
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- 30. Develop a "cute butt" scale and use it to rate every
guy's butt that you see.
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- 31. Never go to the ladies room alone, if you can help it.
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- 32. Carry feminine hygiene products with you wherever you go, and
don't be shy about showing them to people.
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- 33. Always announce to everyone when you are on the rag.
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- 34. When asked about your "past", always answer a respectable
"3"... NO MATTER what the "real" total is.
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