- Front: I heard you have gone deaf.
- Inside: I'll bet you didn't.
-
- Front: I'm sorry to hear you have gone blind.
- Inside: See you later, you fucking bastard!
-
- Front: I'm sorry to hear you are brain dead.
- Inside: It's really not that bad when you think about it.
-
- Front: My sympathies on the last of your father's teeth falling
out.
- Inside: Well, dadgummit!
-
- Front: My condolences on the loss of your arms.
- Inside: Write back soon!
-
- Front: I'm sorry to hear you have contracted Alzheimer's disease.
- Inside: I'm sorry to hear you have contracted Alzheimer's disease.
-
- Front: I heard that you were very sick.
- Inside: I hope that you die painlessly.
-
- Front: I heard you were dead.
- Inside: I hope it was painless.
-
- Front: I heard your whole family got shot.
- Inside: So I turned up the volume on the stereo.
-
- Front: Congratulations on your first period!
- Inside: Let's go out and paint the town red!
-
- Front: Thank God you aren't pregnant!
- Inside: I might have had to admit I've had sex with *you*.
-
- Front: I heard that you attempted suicide.
- Inside: Wishing you luck and success in all that you do,
-
- Front: After all these years, it was good to run into you again.
- Inside: Thank God this time you didn't leave as much blood on my
bumper!
-
- Front: I was sorry to hear that your dog ran away.
- Inside: Next time try cooking him a little longer.
-
- Front: They told me you were constipated.
- Inside: No shit?
-
- Front: Wishing you a speedy recovery from your accident.
- Inside: Look forward to seeing you in court!
-
- Front: Get well soon.
- Inside: I am sick of walking two miles to get water.
-
- Front: Congratulations on finally getting a life.
- Inside: Now get ready to lose it.
-
- Front: Hot damn!
- Inside: I'm sorry to hear that your house burned down.
-
- Front: Congratulations on your weight loss!
- Inside: It's a shame you had to saw off your legs to do it.
-
- Front: When life deals you a hard blow
- Inside: So can I, big boy.
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