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HEBONICS
The Encino School Board has declared Jewish English a second language. Backers of the move say the district is the first in the nation to recognize "Hebonics" as the language of many of America's Jews. Here are some descriptions of the characteristics of the language and samples of phrases in standard English and Jewish English.
 
SAMPLES OF PRONUNCIATION CHARACTERISTICS:
 
Jewish English or "Hebonics" hardens consonants at the ends of words. Thus, "hand" becomes "handt"
 
The letter "W" is always pronounced as if it were a "V". Thus, "walking" becomes "valking"
 
"R" sounds are transformed to a gutteral utterance that is virtually impossible to spell in English. "It is ghraning alghready"
 
SAMPLES OF IDIOMATIC CHARACTERISTICS:
 
Questions are ALWAYS answered with questions:
Q: How do you feel?
Hebonics Response: How should I feel?
 
The subject of the sentence is often placed at the end of the sentence after a pronoun has been used at the beginning:
"She dances beautifully, that girl"
 
The sarcastic repetition of words by adding "Shm" to the front is used for emphasis: mountains becomes "shmountains"; turtle becomes "shmurtle", etc.
 
SAMPLE ENGLISH PHRASES AND THE HEBONIC TRANSLATIONS:
 
He walks slowly: Like a fly in the ointment he valks
You're sexy: (concept unknown)
Sorry, I do no know the time: Vat do I look like, a clock
I hope things turn out for the best: You should be so lucky
Anything can happen: It's never so bad, it can't get vorse

 Notes on the material appearing on this page:
  • Created, edited or updated on: 06.05.99
  • Copyright information: Copyright holder not known
  • $idekick's laugh-o-meter rating: 7 (like a hyena you laugh)
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