- 1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
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- 2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
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- 3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a
hefty bag
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- 4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight"
or "Naw"
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- 5. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling
Banjos
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- 6. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
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- 7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized
drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!"
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- 8. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song
would be Achy-Breaky Heart
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- 9. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
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- 10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic"
and Vishul C++"
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- 11. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
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- 12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
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- 13. Instead of latte carts we'd have grits carts
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- 14. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now, Yah hear?!"
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- 15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
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- 16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
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- 17. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
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- 18. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver
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- 19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire
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- 20. Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead
cars in your front yard
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- 21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator
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- 22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
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