- 'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the
annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic
activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including
that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was meticulously
suspended from the forward edge of the wood-burning caloric apparatus,
pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation
from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is
the honorific title of St. Nicholas.
-
- The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective
accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations
of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebra.
My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal cranial coverings,
were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon
the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such
a cacophony of dissonance that I felt compelled to arise with alacrity
from my place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining the precise source
thereof.
-
- Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers sealing
the fenestration, noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance without, reflected
as it was on the surface of a recent crystalline aqueous precipitation,
might be said to rival that of the solar meridian itself -- thus permitting
my incredulous optical sensor to peruse a miniature airborne runnered
conveyance drawn by an octet of diminutive specimens of the genus Rangifer,
piloted by a miniscule, aged chauffeur so ebullient and nimble that it
became instantly apparent to me that he was indeed our anticipated caller.
With his undulate motive power traveling at what may possibly have been
more vertiginous velocity than patriotic alar predators, he vociferated
loudly, expelled breath musically through contracted labia, and addressed
each of the octet by his or her respective cognomen ... "Now Dasher,
now Dancer..." et al. guiding them to the uppermost exterior level
of our abode, through which structure I could readily distinguish the concatenations
of each of the 32 cloven pedal extremities.
-
- As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and was performing
a 180-degree pivot, our distinguished visitant achieved -- with utmost
celerity and via a downward leap -- entry by way of the smoke passage.
He was clad entirely in animal pelts soiled by the ebon residue from the
oxidations of carboniferous fuels which had accumulated on the walls thereof.
His resemblance to a street vendor I attributed largely to the plethora
of assorted playthings which he bore dorsally in a commodious cloth receptacle.
-
- His orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his submaxillary
dermal indentations gave every evidence of engaging amiability. The capillaries
of his molar regions and nasal aptenance were engorged with blood which
suffused the subcutaneous layers, the former approximating the coloration
of Albion's floral emblem, the latter that of the Prunus avium, or sweet
cherry. His amusing sub- and supralabials resembled nothing so much
as a common loop knot, and their ambient hirsuite facial adornment appeared
like small, tabular and columnar crystals of frozen water.
-
- Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smoking piece whose gray
fumes, forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput, were suggestive of
a decorative seasonal circlet of holly. His visage was wider than it was
high, and when he waxed audibly mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region
undulated in the manner of impectinated fruit syrup in a hemispherical
container.
-
- Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the aforementioned
hosiery with articles of merchandise extracted from his aforementioned
previously dorsally transported cloth receptacle. Upon completion of this
task, he executed an abrupt about-face, placed a single manual digit in
lateral juxtaposition to his olfactory organ, inclined his cranium forward
in a gesture of leave-taking, and forthwith affected his egress by renegotiating
(in reverse) the smoke passage. He then propelled himself in a short vector
onto his conveyance, directed a musical expulsion of air through his contracted
oral sphincter to the antlered quadrupeds of burden, and proceeded to soar
aloft in a movement hitherto observable chiefly among the seed-bearing
portions of a common weed. But I overheard his parting exclamation, audible
immediately
- prior to his vehiculation beyond the limits of visibility: "Ecstatic
Yuletide to the planetary constituence, and to that self-same assemblage
my sincerest wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly pleasurable
period between sunset and dawn."
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