| THINGS THAT TEST YOUR SANITY |
- You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little
plastic thing in the middle of them.
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- The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the
back of your ankle.
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- The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.
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- There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to
find an address.
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- You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
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- It's bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you don't realize
it till you walk across your living room rug.
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- The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works for you.
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- There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
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- You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.
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- Three hours and three meetings after lunch, you look in the mirror
and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.
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- You drink from a soda can in which someone has extinguished a cigarette.
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- You slice your tongue licking an envelope.
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- Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get
a reading.
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- A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio,
but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.
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- There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the
tray.
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- You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry
comes out covered with lint.
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- The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian
finish crossing.
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- A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your
filling.
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- You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.
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- The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.
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- You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get
out.
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- People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter
just opening up.
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- Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.
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- You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary
because you don't know how to spell it.
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- You have to inform five different sales people in the same store
that you're just browsing.
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- You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now you can't
find it.
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- You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash
your head on the way up.
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- The person with the fully customized top-of-the-line 4X4 SUV (read:
offroad) that slows down and creeps over speed bumps at the local mall.
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| Notes on the material appearing on this page: |
- Created, edited or updated on: 09.09.99
- Copyright information: Copyright holder not
known, some content added by $idekick.
- $idekick's laugh-o-meter rating: 7
(these happen to me every day... all of them)
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