- 1. but everybody looks funny naked!
- 2. you woke me up for that?
- 3. did I mention the video camera?
- 4. do I smell something burning?
- 5. (in the janitor's closet) and they say romance is dead....
- 6. can you please try breathing through your nose.
- 7. a little rug burn never hurt anyone.
- 8. is that a Medic-Alert pendant?
- 9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
- 10. but whipped cream makes me break out.
- 11. person 1: this is your first time...right? person 2: yeah..
today
- 12. (in the No Tell Motel) hurry up! this room rents by the hour!
- 13. can you pass me the remote control?
- 14. do you accept Visa?
- 15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
- 16. on second thought, let's turn off the lights.
- 17. and to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend.
- 18. so much for mouth-to-mouth
- 19. (using body paint) try not to leave any stains, o.k.?
- 20. hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
- 21. (holding a banana) it's just a little trick I learned at the
zoo.
- 22. do you get any premium movie channels?
- 23. try not to smear my make-up, will ya'?
- 24. (preparing to use peanut butter sexually) but I just steam cleaned
this coach!
- 25. got any penicillin?
- 26. but I just brushed my teeth...
- 27. smile, you're on candid camera!
- 28. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs?!
- 29. I want a baby!
- 30. so much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
- 31. (in a menage a trois) why am I doing all the work?
- 32. maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...
- 33. did you know the ceiling needs painting?
- 34. I think you have it on backwards.
- 35. when is this supposed to feel good?
- 36. put the blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
- 37. you're good enough to do this for a living.
- 38. is that blood on the headboard?
- 39. did I remember to take my pill?
- 40. are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
- 41. I wish we got the Playboy channel...
- 42. that leak better be from the water bed!
- 43. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
- 44. but my cat always sleeps on that pillow.
- 45. did I tell you my aunt Martha died in this bed?
- 46. if you quit smoking you might have more endurance.
- 47. no, really.. I do this part better myself.
- 48. it's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate
myself.
- 49. this would be more fun with a few more people.
- 50. you're almost as good as my ex!
- 51. do you know the definition of statutory rape?
- 52. is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten
potatoes?
- 53. you look younger than you feel.
- 54. perhaps you're just out of practice.
- 55. you sweat more than a galloping stallion...
- 56. they're not cracker crumbs, it's just a rash.
- 57. now I know why he/she dumped you...
- 58. does your husband own a sawed off shot-gun?
- 59. you give me a reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated?
- 60. what tampon?
- 61. have you ever considered liposuction?
- 62. and to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
- 63. what are you planning to make for breakfast?
- 64. I have a confession...
- 65. I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home.
- 66. are those real or am I just behind the times?
- 67. were you by any chance repressed as a child?
- 68. is that a hanging sculpture?
- 69. you'll still vote for me, won't you?
- 70. did I mention my transsexual operation?
- 71. I really hate women who actually think sex means nothing!
- 72. did you come yet, dear?
- 73. I'll tell you I'm fantasizing about if you tell me who you're
fantasizing about..
- 74. a good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time.
- 75. does this count as a date?
- 76. Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you.
- 77. Hic! I need another beer for this please.
- 78. I think biting is romantic- don't you?
- 79. Q: you can cook, too right? A: (whaddaya think I'm doin'?)
- 80. when would you like to meet my parents?
- 81. Man: maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really
like... Woman: yourself?
- 82. have you seem "fatal attraction"?
- 83. sorry about the name tags, I'm not to good with names.
- 84. don't mind me... I always file my nails in bed.
- 85. (in a phone booth) do you mind if I make a few phone calls?
- 86. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. do you have
a light?
- 87. don't worry, my dog's really friendly for a Doberman.
- 88. sorry but I don't do toes.
- 89. you could at least act like you're enjoying it!
- 90. petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said no!
- 91. keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper.
- 92. I'll bet you didn't know I work for the Enquirer.
- 93. so that's why they call you Mr. Flash!
- 94. my old girlfriend used to do it a lot longer.
- 95. is this a sin too?
- 96. I've slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!
- 97. hey, when is it going to be my friends turn?
- 98. long kisses clog my sinuses.
- 99. please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise..
- 100. how long do you plan to be "almost there"?
- 101. you mean you're not my blind date?
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