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20 COOL THINGS ABOUT DRIVING A CAR THAT TRAVELS AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT
  • Sleep 'til noon. Still get to work by 8:00am!
  • Doppler shift makes red traffic lights look green.
  • Breaking laws of physics only a misdemeanor in most states.
  • Never in car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.
  • Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking keep bugging you to car pool.
  • No one can see you pick your nose while you drive.
  • Lunch breaks in Paris, circa 1792.
  • LA to Vegas in 2 nanoseconds.
  • You can stop worrying about being sucked into a black hole driving home from work.
  • You'll be so thin while driving it you can even wear horizontal stripes.
  • That deer in your headlights is actually behind you.
  • Kid from Mentos commercial almost guaranteed to lose a limb if he tries to duck through back seat.
  • Traffic enforcement limited to cops with PhD's in Quantum Physics.
  • Bugs never see you comin'.
  • You can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.
  • Can make a fortune delivering pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"
  • Car makes it from Hollywood to London fast enough to not arouse suspicions of Elizabeth Hurley.
  • License plate: "Me=mc2"
  • Cigarette butts don't land in the backseat -- they land in last week!
  • Drive-by shooting stars

Notes on the material appearing on this page:
  • Created, edited or updated on: 06.09.99
  • Copyright information: Copyright holder not known
  • $idekick's laugh-o-meter rating: 7 (mine only goes the speed of sound)
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