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IF DR SUESS WROTE STAR TREK N.G.
Picard:
Sigma Indri, that's the star,
So Data, please, how far? How far?
 
Data:
Our ship can get there very fast
But still the trip will last and last
We'll have two days til we arrive
But can the Indrans there survive?
 
Picard:
LaForge, please give us factor nine.
 
LaForge:
But sir, the engines are offline!
 
Picard:
Offline: But why? I want to go!
Please make it so, please make it so!
 
Riker:
But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
The danger here is far too great!
 
Picard:
But surely we must not be late!
 
Troi:
I'm sensing anger and great ire.
 
Computer:
Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!
 
Picard:
The ship's on fire? How could this be?
Who lit the fire?
 
Riker:
Not me.
 
Worf:
Not me.
 
Picard:
Computer, how long til we die?
 
Computer:
Eight minutes left to say goodbye.
 
Data:
May I suggest a course to take?
We could, I think, quite safely make
Extinguishers from tractor beams
And stop the fire, or so it seems...
 
Geordi:
Hurray! Hurray! You've saved the day!
Again I say, Hurray! Hurray!
 
Picard:
Mr. Data, thank you much.
You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.
 
Troi:
We still must save the Indran planet --
 
Data:
Which (by the way) is made of granite...
 
Picard:
Enough, you android. Please desist.
We understand -- we get your gist.
But can we get our ship to go?
Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.
 
Geordi:
There's sabotage among the wires
And that's what started all the fires.
 
Troi:
We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
We need to go! We need to go!
 
Riker:
We must seek out the traitor spy
And lock him up and ask him, "Why?"
 
Worf:
Ask him why? How sentimental.
I say give him problems dental.
 
Troi:
Are any Romulan ships around?
Have scanners said that they've been found?
Or is it Borg or some new threat
We haven't even heard of yet?
I sense no malice in this crew.
Now what are we supposed to do?
 
Crusher:
Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!"
I can't just sit and let them die!
A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try!
 
Picard:
Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.
 
Crusher:
They may be dead by Tuesday noon.
 
COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK
HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE?
 
Worf:
The saboteur is in the brig.
He's very strong and very big.
I had my fazer set on stun.
A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
He would not budge, he would not fall,
He would not stun, no, not at all!
He changed into a stranger form
All soft and purple, round and warm.
 
Picard:
Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
Did you see this creature morph?
 
Worf:
I did and then I beat him fairly.
Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.
 
Riker:
My commendations, Klingon friend!
Our troubles now are at an end!
 
Crusher:
Now let's get our ship to fly
And orbit yonder Indran sky!
 
Picard:
LaForge, please tell me we can go...?
 
Geordi:
Yes, sir, we can.
 
Picard:
Then make it so!

 Notes on the material appearing on this page:
  • Created, edited or updated on: 05.20.99
  • Copyright information: Copyright holder not known
  • $idekick's laugh-o-meter rating: 6 (I'm not a Trekkie, but I admire Suess)
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