- 'Twas the night before Christmas,
Da whole house was mellow,
Not a creature was stirrin',
(I had a gun unda my pillow.)
-
- When up on da roof'
I heard somethin' pound,
I sprung to da window,
To scream, "Ay! Keep it down!"
-
- When what to my
Wanderin' eyes should appear,
But dat hairy elf Vinny,
And eight friggin' reindeer.
-
- Wit' a bad hackin' cough,
And da stencha burped beer,
I knew in a moment
Yo, da Kringle wuz here!
-
- Wit' a slap to dere snouts,
And a yank on dere manes,
He cursed and he shouted,
And he called dem by name.
-
- "Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,
Yo Sally, Yo Vito,
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,
Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!"
-
- As I drew out my gun
And hid by da bed,
Down came his friggin' boot
On da top a my head.
-
- His eyes were all bloodshot,
His b.o. wuz scary,
His breath wuz like sewage,
He had a mole dat wuz hairy.
-
- He spit in my eye,
And he twisted my head,
He soon let me know
I should consider myself dead.
-
- Den pointin' a fat finga
Right unda my nose,
He let out some gas,
And up da chimney he rose.
-
- He sprang to his sleigh,
Obscenities screaming,
And away dey all flew,
Before he troo dem a beatin'.
-
- But I heard him exclaim,
Or better yet grump,
"Merry Christmas to all, and
Bite me, ya hump!"
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