~Chapter 35~

"Amalia, where've you been?"

She shrugged as she approached Gil,"... The usual, I guess."

"When you didn't show up this morning to nab some free makeup samples from the sidewalk display at the drugstore on Drake, I figured you'd dropped off somewhere & died," Gil said playfully.

"Yeah, well, after last night that sounds like a pretty good alternative," she said, rolling her eyes.

Gil bit his lip,"Not exactly designer-clothing, toned-muscle customers, I take it?"

"More like thrift-store, in-desperate-need-of-a-shower customers, " Amalia groaned, then hesitated slightly,"Can we please change the subject? I really hate talking about... it."

Gil nodded then spoke,"I- I guess you're pretty wiped, huh?"

"Exhausted. Look, I'm gonna go to the park & see if there's a comfy, rusting-steel bench available..." she said with cheerfully, with dark undertones. Like many of those connected to her, brought together unknowingly by one specific plan, Amalia found solace in slumber.

Gil stood up,"Want me to go with ya? Sort of like 'protection'?"

"I can manage on my own, tough-guy," Amalia said, giving him a weird look,"I mean, thanks for the offer but I'm fine by myself."

She started off down the sidewalk, dodging a mother & her young daughter strolling lackadaisically with shopping bags in hand, simply enjoying each other's company & giggling at their own private jokes. A ball of envy formed in Amalia's stomach, as well as a lump in her throat. She quickly forced the emotion out of her mind, as she so often did. This girl had learned that showing signs of jealousy or upset had no worth in this world and kept them bottled up. Doing so had hardened her exterior, though inside she was soft as ice cream discarded into an outdoor trash can in scorching summer heat.

"AMALIA!" Gil's voice echoed half a block behind her. She turned, and squinted against the sunlight.

"YOU DON'T ALWAYS HAVE TO ACT SO TOUGH, YOU KNOW!"

Amalia waited for some explanation of these words, but was left with nothing. She saw Gil head in the opposite direction, leaving her impatient to confront him about it... Why he had taken a sudden interest in her well-being when before he had had nothing to do with her other than to share a smoke or exchange sarcastic barbs.

And most importantly, why she found comfort in it.

When Amalia reached the park, she spotted a bench set in the shade of an old oak tree. She curled up as best she could, her knees pulled to her chest & head laying on the wooden, splintered armrest. She closed her eyes & 'inhaled' her surroundings.

In the distance, she could hear a dog barking, the calming sound of sprinklers, and a mixed mangle of voices... Animated with lively conversation. A portable stereo was blaring heavy-bass dance music, with such an annoying, ongoing back beat that Amalia came within seconds of storming over to the owners of the stereo & turning it off herself. But then the computer-generated rhythmic pounding halted & a somewhat slow, yet entrancing song began... with soft guitar & piano...

Amalia took a deep breath & listened as close she could...

Police cars round in circles / The silence gathering

You never know what's next down here / Close your eyes & shut your mouth

I know I won't last forever / If there's nothing left in your heart for me

Baby, baby, baby, baby / Too young to die and too old to believe in... Promises

The ambulance is singing / To streetcars in the rain

Like barracuda waiting / For the guns down in the hood

This ain't no West Side Story / And the curtain's comin' down on me

Baby, baby, baby, baby / Too young to die and too old to believe in... Promises

It's all sound and all fury / It's all reach and no touch

It's all life's cold bravado...

All grown up and old so fast

"The story of my life..." Amalia said in a hoarse whisper as the song drew to a close.

That afternoon, in the shadow of an old oak tree, curled upon a wooden bench in the middle of a park, she did something she had been in great need of doing many times, but had rarely let down her guard to allow herself the chance.

Amalia cried.

Several minutes later, when her massive sobs had subsided into ragged breaths & sniffles, she felt a gentle hand rubbing the small of her back. Amalia's heart leapt as she cleared her throat & began to open her bloodshot eyes.

"Simon?"