(At the big ole Jepi Hall of Wisdom and Whatnot. Mace Usoppu enters the quarters of the Jepi Master, Choppa.)

Usoppu: Excuse me?  Master Choppa?  There's been a disturbance in the 'Fruit.' Have you felt it -

(Mace Usoppu stops dead in the doorway.  Choppa is being fanned and fed grapes by various giggling specimens of sexy Grandline sentient beings. His face is covered in lipstick kisses. The room is also notable for its awesome speaker surround sound home entertainment system extravaganza, extensive special edition DVD collection, and every gaming system known in the galaxy.

And it's smoky.  Very smoky.  Choppa seems to have acquired an Alvida the Hutt smoking accessory.)

Usoppu (outraged): Are you doing illegal substances? It'll fry your brain!

Choppa (sarcastically): Make me talk funny will it?

Usoppu (gestures around): Master Choppa! Haven't you admonished us by saying, "Excitement, adventure, a Jepi craves not these things?"

Choppa (raising an eyebrow): Say did I 'babes' and 'cool toys', hmm?

(Usoppu muses on his fellow Jepi's words.)

Usoppu: So this goes back to that other thing you're always saying. 'Size matters not'?

Choppa (mouthful of grape): Hmm?

==========================

(The Island of the Clones.  Shannikin is having Issues.)

Shannikin (trembling with fear): I'm not that far in my training! 

O-Ben: I know you can do it.

Shannikin (almost in tears): I can't!  I really can't!

O-Ben: Calm your mind.  Become one with the Fruit.  There you will find what you need�Elt;br>
Shannikin (frantically): But plans?! You can't expect me to go around having plans!  I'm only an apprentice!

(O-Ben sighs heavily.)

O-Ben: Fine.  I'll make the plan.  I'll go after the klone-monger.  Use this. (tosses Shannikin an Eternal Pose), pick up that tart, and come after me.

Shannikin (suspiciously): But I thought you didn't like her.  Why do you want me to get her now?

O-Ben: Oh, I'm sorry.  Did you want to make the plan?

Shannikin: No, no!  Whatever you say!

==========================

Somewhere else�Elt;br>
Evil Duke Mihawk: 'Cologne'! I wanted 'cologne!' Hundreds and thousands of bottles of cologne! I didn't order 'klones'!  Look (he stabs the paper with his finger), the word isn't even spelled right on the purchasing order! 

Kohza: That isn't my problem.  I'm here to warn you that the Jepi have found the klones and are on their way here as we speak.

Evil Duke Mihawk: This ruins everything!  How can I take over all the charted seas if I don't have my cologne?

Kohza (dryly): Maybe with the klone army that was made in its place?

(Evil Duke Mihawk blinks. And blinks again.)

Evil Duke Mihawk: What a diabolically clever idea!  I could use a man like you in the new Sea Lord World Order.  Care to join?

Kohza (eyes get all bright and shiny): You mean�Ea revolution?

Evil Duke Mihawk: The new regime will be reactionary, but it's certainly a change from what we're doing now.

Kohza (certainly): I'm in.

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Random Quote Analysis
Why am I being so nice to her!?- Jadeite, about Sailor Moon

Nojiko:  That's a question most non-shoujo fans ask themselves.
(Nojiko has joined Kohza on the couch. They have matching cages.)
Kohza (to the Author): Okay.  What's wrong with her?
(Kohza's newest analyzing partner glares at him.)
Kohza: I have nothing against you personally, miss, it's just that there's been a pattern and I'm trying to figure out how you're going to torture me.  Are there any personality quirks or flaws you'd like to warn me about ahead of time?
Nojiko: Yeah.  Here's one.  My quirk involves me "flawing" your face into a bloody pulp.
(Kohza blinks.)
Kohza: Say again?

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Terms Explained
It's the conclusion.  It's just Part I of the conclusion.
Nojiko spamming dedicated to her.