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X2: X-Position


In The Vortex

(Sanji leaps back about twenty feet to protect his…to protect himself.  The most important part of himself or so he and a thousand and one fangirls think.  And Zoro too, if you believe the doujinka.)

(There is a short pause.)

(Normally Zoro would react to that slap against his manhood -

Shanks:  *snerk*

( - but he's asleep.)

Vivi (slashers spinning ominously): That was unnecessary, Sanji-san.

Nami (with her Clima-Tact): You're toast, Sanji-kun!

(Usopp is blind-sided by Nami's bo.)

Nami: And that's for suggesting it, you ass!

Shanks (miffed): Why was Ben the head of the secret spy organization and
I only the secretary? 

Ben: Don't say 'only' or you belittle the work of thousands of hardworking men and women.

Shanks: Okay.  Next time you be the secretary.

Ben: What do you mean, next time? I already am your secretary. And your nursemaid. And everything else. I'm your BRAIN, Shanks.

(Zoro is asleep.  He dreams of bathing in Rogaine and becoming a giant green hairy beast man whom no fangirl could ever love.)

Luffy (thinking): …Zoro's leering in his sleep…

(Zoro, in his dreams, wreaks havoc across the four seas and the Grandline. No man can withstand his awesome swordsman skillz. No woman wants to be anywhere near him. Life is good.)

Luffy (thinking): …I wonder if he's having
that dream again…

(Zoro, in his dreams, finds himself eating at a smorgasbard - which was been abandoned once the clientele saw his bestial appearance. The rest of the crew join him at the feast - Nami and Vivi sit far, far away from him, leaving him in peace to be his gross masculine self.  Luffy screams out a warning but it is too late.  Zoro swallows an entire piece of fruit whole and finds himself - chibified!  He has eaten the Mascot Mascot Fruit - turning all who eat it into an adorable mini-chibi thing.  Suddenly he is attacked by a pack of feral fangurls who can smell something cute and glompable through six miles of open ocean water.)

Zoro:  AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luffy (nodding and thinking): …yup.  Definitely that dream about Mihawk.

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The Arsonist Anonymous Group Returns - to Economy!

Moderator: Then again, maybe shipping people by duffel bag isn't very safe.
Sailor Mars: Hello. Dogs and cats are shipped under the plane.
Shayla Shayla: And I wouldn't even give our baggage the honor of being included in the animal kingdom. It's fine. Stop worrying.
(Hikaru mumbles.)
Sailor Mars: That's right. Conan would have stopped us if there were any danger. It's our evidence. He wouldn't endanger our evidence.
Moderator: I don't know. Conan had a lot of Mai Tais during our layover in Bangkok…
(Cut to First Class. Conan is leading the first class passengers and the flight staff in a congo line up and down the aisles.)
Pilot (wearing his tie around his head and congo-ing): What a clever little boy - to figure out a way to rewire the airplane to land on its own.
Co-Pilot: Isn't he though?

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Things Explained
Someone asked how Nojiko and Kohza could reach the controllers, the remotes, and the minifridge if they're in cages.
The answer: Get a life. This is spam.