Luffy's Pirate Crew: Ascent into Hell

(The crew has sailed the Merry Go Merry into the possibly French port of Ohtori Academy.  Those who have been afflicted with 'shroom induced paranoid episodes have recovered nicely.  Those who were partaking of Amsterdam's vegetable produce have come down from their high.)

Sanji: To our bitter, bitter disappointment.

(They are now walking up to the campus.)

Nami (to Shanks): You're okay with leaving Ben in Amsterdam?

Shanks (with forced cheerfulness): An adventure will heal my bruised heart. 

Zoro: Bruised heart?  I thought YOU were the slut.

Shanks: Exactly.  I am the slut and he's the solid rock that I always return to.  He can't go being a slut on me!  That's my job!

Sanji (sweatdrop): Makes perfect sense.

Shanks: Plus I want to see this Touga fellow that Nami kept talking about.  He must be very cool if she mistook him for me.

Nami: I mistook you for him.  There's a difference.

Shanks: Whatever.

Usopp: Are we there yet?

(In the distance, there is a noise.)

Zoro: Did you hear that?

Sanji: It sounds like screaming.

(The noise increases.  A tiny point in the distance begins to get bigger and bigger.)

Usopp: Oh crap.  (he hits the ground.  The rest of the Luffy Crew do likewise.  Shanks is left standing on the sidewalk.)

Shanks: What's going on, guys??

(Luffy flies right at Shanks and knocks him into the wall.  Luffy stands up and dusts his hat, then himself off.)

Luffy: I love doing Gomu Gomu Rocket.

Shanks (in wall, twitching): Ow.

Luffy: Oh, hi, Shanks.  Hi, everyone.

(The Luffy Pirate Crew get up.)

Nami: What are you doing here?  Aren't you working as a translator for the Dutch guy and Ben?

Luffy: They got to a point where they didn't need a translator. (Shudders.)

Shanks (picks himself up and mutters darkly): Mr. Beckman is going to get it when I see him. But that doesn't matter now. We have to find Makino before that Akio character does.  Who knows what he may do to her!

Vivi: Probably boink her brains out, for starters.

Sanji: I am beginning to like Akio more and more.

(They continue walking up the hill that leads from the waterfront to Ohtori.)

Meanwhile….

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(The observatory.  Akio sits in front of an extensive communications center, replete with security cameras, infrared vision, and a thousand other different gadgets that would make the CIA and NSA drool with envy.  He watches every screen with paranoia.)

Akio (breaking out of his OOC): What the heck? I'm not paranoid.  I'm the smoothest character in the whole Utena series.  I never break a sweat.

(Suddenly, his phone rings.)

Akio: What the - no one has this number. (he hits the speaker phone button) Hello?

Voice: Is this Akio Ohtori?

Akio: Yes.  May I ask who's calling?

Voice (ignoring question):  Two words.  Car.  Insurance.

Akio: OH MY GAWD!  (He types frantically until all the video screens are pointing at his beloved Akio-car.  He sighs with relief when he sees that it is indeed fine, then realizes that he has just acted absolutely not smooth.)  Curse you, author. 

(Anthy appears, holding a tray with two bowls of shaved ice.)

Anthy: How was your trip to Amsterdam?

Akio (concentrating on his car): Huh, what? Is it time for me to abuse you already, Anthy?

Anthy: I thought you might like some shaved ice is all.

Akio (impatiently): I'm busy here.  Someone is trying to set fire to everything I hold dear.

Anthy: Oh.  Well, I'll go see if the Student Council would like some then.  They might be tired, standing guard out on the wall.  That was very smart of you to send them Letters from Ends of the World that ordered them to defend the school.

Akio (derisively): Of course it was smart of me!  I'm the Devil.  I'm sneaky and devious and I always get everyone to do what I want.

Anthy (innocently): Except for this person trying to set fire to everything you hold dear.

Akio: Well, yes, except for that person.

(Anthy leaves, but as she walks out the door, her glasses catch the light and glint ominously.)

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Random Quote Analysis:
Before a mad scientist goes mad, there's probably a time when he is only partially mad.  And this is the time when he is going to throw the best parties. - Jack Handey

Zoro: What the hell is this crap?
Vivi: The author majored in chemistry.
Zoro: And…
Vivi: She just threw a party.
Zoro: So we're supposed to believe that she's only partially mad?
Vivi: I know.  It's highly unlikely.
Zoro: More like impossible.

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Terms Explained
I think everything is pretty self-explanatory this time around, don't you?