What is an

NOC??

What exactly is an NOC? As you may have already read on the friendship story, an NOC is a Bowie party that, I, Tara, hold on special occasions (Bowie's birthday, Alexandria's birthday, my own birthday, a Bowie album release, etc). The guests are treated to hours and hours of non-stop Bowie video watching, Bowie music listening, Bowie discussion, Bowie cake-eating, Bowie games, Bowie picture looking, Bowie story telling... all that awesome stuff. I usually have a new recruit at every NOC - someone new to corrupt. It truly is a Night of Corruption.

Hey, maybe you can come to one sometime. Or if you live too far away, maybe you can hold your own! So round up the Bowie troops, break out the Bowie videos, order the Bowie cake... it's time for an NOC!

But, wait!

I am uncomfortable with you just holding or attending an NOC just like *snap* that. Listen, I've had years of experience with this... How 'bout I help you with the terminology and video choice, ok? Then from these basic guidelines, you can form your own personalized NOC. If you're attending one of my NOC's, use these guidlines as a heads-up of what you might be treated to and to help you with the vocabulary, so you feel in-the-know while attending.

Beginners

So you have this friend and she/he shows tremendous Bowie potential... you're pretty sure you can get this person to love David. This person is a potential Corruptee. [see terms]

Start by inviting this person to an NOC, but just call it a "Bowie Party" at first. Once they're in your house, with no way of escaping, tell them what they're REALLY attending.

Upon arriving at your house, your corruptee might be frightened and bewildered by what they're experiencing. They may be exposed to more Bowie than they can initially handle... posters, pictures, you dressed in a red Ziggy wig, etc. Like introducing a new pet hamster into its cage, you must let this person become familiar and somewhat comfortable with their surroundings. If you have other Bowie friends attending the NOC, the new corruptee might be skeptikal at first thinking various things such as, "These people are insane." and "Why am I here? I don't love Bowie that much!"

These skeptics will soon be converted forever. Pray for their soul... to the Area.[see terms]

If you have young fans who might initially be a trite freaked out by the fact that David's almost as old as their grandfather, then it's time to lie. Tell them something like: "Now, I know this is a little older than your Ricky Martin, but David Bowie is... *sigh* 35." They'll think "Oh, thats not bad." They don't have to know at first that you really meant to say "Now I know this is a little older than your Ricky Martin, but David Bowie looks like he's 35." And thats the gospel truth! Once they begin to watch the 50th Brithday concert, however, they start to catch on. But never START the NOC with this video, follow the guidelines and once you get to 50th, the corruptee won't care if David is 113.

Remember, the safe and ungross way to relieve tension while watching these sexy Bowie video's is to use the hand method.

Videos

Videos are probably the most important thing of an NOC. If you don't have a large video collection, it is possible to get by with "commons" such as Best of Bowie DVD (BOB), Labyrinth, Man Who Fell to Earth, Ziggy Stardust the Motion picture... things of that nature. My original NOC's used to contain the just the basics as well, but you gotta start somewhere! Use the following list so you know what Bowie videos to watch and when to watch them. Skip over any that you don't have, and add any that I don't mention to your own line-up... but be careful! Think hard about where you're going to fit in others that are not on this list. It can make or break a Bowie corruption.

  • BOB - Simple, polished, sexy. I recommend starting with disc 2... Hearts Filthy Lesson to I'm Afraid of Americans. These videos catch the corruptees interest QUITE well, and needless to say, all your guests will be happy with this beginning to an NOC! I'm Afraid of Americans is what got the hook in Amandas mouth at her first NOC. From that video on, she was all eyes... and screams. Do not go to 'hours...' music yet. We're not ready for that until later.

    Earthling Concerts

    Concerts from the 96-97 period are magical things. There are several on video, but the following are the most important ones. One of these MUST be watched at an NOC. If you have time left the next morning, watch more than one, but no two consecutivley. Unless that's all you have, you poor thing.

  • 50th Birthday - This video or the next one are required for a truly sucessful NOC. You can get by without them, but it is NOT recommended. If you have beginners at the party, pop in 50th because it's totally hot, it's visually interesting (many different costumes, sets, guests, etc) and he does many many sexy sexy things in it. Picture from 50th Birthday shown below

  • Germany, Rockpalast 1996 - This can be found on eBay frequently if you do not own it. And if you do not own it, I want you to go bid right now, then come back. It's essential. eBay.com OK? So this video is a lot like 50th, but David is much more insane. He seems to be on some major crack in this one and the video is FULL of sexy moves, faces, songs, and voices. WOOHOO! (This is also the home of the ultimate Mother) Picture from Germany shown below.

  • Moscow, Russia, 1996 - OK... you know how I said he seemed to be on crack in the previous video? Well, I lied. THIS is the video that not only does he seem to be on crack, but also any other kind of mind-altering, but wonderful drug you can think of. He frequently waves to the audience with glazed over eyes and says "Hello!". And his VOICE!! OMG! Talk about reliving the 70's and going back to sounding like Ziggy! Just listen to Hallo Spaceboy, Ziggy is trying to come out!
  • Live at the 10 Spot - WHOA! This video is AMAZING! He does some excellent humpage in this one - especially during the sacred song, Hallo Spaceboy.
  • SNL - David's performance on Saturday Night Live in 1997 is one of the most sacred recordings of them all. At the end of his second song, Scary Monsters, he looses it and, um... orgasms. Picture from SNL '97 shown below.

    Movie Time

    Alright... we've had a lot of Earthling to flip out over, now its time for a movie break. Pick your poison.
  • Man Who Fell to Earth - He cannot get ANY hotter in this movie. He is at the prime of his slinky, sickly, sexy Thin White Duke stage and he plays a bratty alien with a bad taste in girlfriends (die Mary Lou, DIE!). Probably the most heavenly part of this movie is the "Gun Scene" in which Boingy Boing occurs. There's so many awesome/hillarious/sad/sweet/hot scenes in that movie, I won't list them all... The only thing I'll say is a new corruptee will probably not be ready for Boingy Boing. Hold off on this movie if that is the case.
  • Labyrinth - Oh, how we all love this movie... oh how we all love Jareth - his pants, his eye-makeup, his cape, his evilness, his hair, his balls (crystal balls, of course!) Make sure you watch this at an NOC, but ONLY THE JARETH PARTS! No Bowie fans enjoying an NOC wants to see old Caterpillar-Eyebrows (Sarah) being a brat for the half of the movie and complaining about Jareth. NO ONE. Make sure you don't disclude the Hoggling. Picture from Labyrinth shown below.

  • The Hunger - I do not recommend watching this at an NOC. Gross and depressing, though David looks really great in it... well, duh. The only reason I would suggest watching it is for one special scene. A picture of it is shown below.

  • Basquiat - Spazzing too much over Davids hottness? How bout a good laugh at him looking really silly? Watch this move to see him dressed as Andy Warhol. He's the comic relief in this movie and HA!, is he just so cute and f-ing hillarious. *sigh* Again, only watch the David parts at an NOC. Picture from Basquiat shown below.

  • Linguini Incident - Wanna watch a movie that Bowie plays the starring role in as a sexy hillarious guy who can't stop gambling? OH MY GAWD, this is my favorite Bowie movie. Its really happy to watch and is a must for an NOC. You see him say lots of funny stuff, and get angry, and with that anger make out with his love interest in a meat-locker... it's ALL good.

    Ziggy

    Now its time to flash back to the 70's and get some Ziggy in the NOC stream. I bet you know what's comin'!
  • 1980 Floor Show - THIS is a MUST! If you don't have it, go to eBay right now. Did you bid? Do you own it in some way? Good. Don't make me send an alien to kick your ass. In this video, David emits more sexiness than sex itself. TRUST ME! It's always good to get a laugh at Marianne Faithful when she and David sing together - She can't keep her eyes off of his crotch! Har Har! Picture from 1980 Floor Show shown below.

  • Ziggy Stardust the Motion Picture - The classic Ziggy video. New Corruptees may be cautious of his silk mini-dress, but they will learn to love it after about 5 seconds. The "guitar sex" between David and Mick is amazing too. Cracked Actor! AHHH!!! Picture from ZSTMP shown below.

  • BOB time! Watch some Ziggy videos! John I'm Only Dancing is sure fire.

    I Love the 80's

    Some people complain that David Bowie was too commercial in the 80's. My only complaint is that he was too damn sexy ;)
  • Jazzin For Blue Jean - Now it is time to watch Davids mini-movie (and the only work that he ever received a Grammy for!). We're not watching the music video, we're watching the 17 minute thing. (Though if all you have is the music video, just watch that.) It is a short story about a nerdy David Bowie who tries to win a girl by taking her to see Screamin Lord Byron (sexy David Bowie). The end of the video is sad though because the girl... well nevermind. You already know what happens and if you haven't seen it, do that now. Picture from Blue Jean shown below.

  • Serious Moonlight - There are a few of these '83/'84 concert floating around and they are very scrumptious. China Girl always makes my knees and arms and every other part of my body weak because he practically "does" himself. OH GOD! Yeah, so watch that.
  • Glass Spider Tour! - Yes, David has a mullet but get over it. Its a HOT mullet, ok???? This concert is one of my favorites, EVER! It's the closest thing to the Diamond Dogs tour that you'll ever see. When he sings Blue Jean??! HOLY MOTHER OF!!.. He wears pants throughout this show that look as though they were merely sprayed on with spray paint. HE SINGS TIME!! 'Nuff said.
  • Watch some 80's Bowie vids from BOB. If you're really lucky, you own the UNCENSORED version of the China Girl video (not seen on BOB) and you get to see his delicious bare ass! NICE! Time Will Crawl, too!

    Hours...

    The 'hours...' period was fricking amazing. At this point in the NOC, everyone should be ready for some 'hours...' stuff.
  • Net Aid - AHHHHH!!!!! And thats all I have to say about that. Oh, and Pretty Things are Going to Hell? Yeah, he performs that. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Nice big picture from Net Aid shown below.

  • BOB time! Watch Thursdays Child and Survive. Yayyyy!
  • Story Tellers - Time for some comic relief! Here is David doing an intimate concert for VH1, telling silly stories behind some of his songs. "I'm not pissing in the sink!"
  • Live at the BBC - Not exactly 'hours...' but close enough. This video is SEX-AAAYYY!!! He looks just as he did in '71. *sigh* Picture from BBC concert shown below.

  • Zoolander - Great movie! But we're not watching the whole thing today... this is an NOC for David, not for Ben Stiller! Just skip to the "Walk Off" part to watch David be hilly (hot/silly)! Picture of David in Zoolander shown below.

    Early 90's

    Woooohoooo! Time for some hottness. Wait a second. We've been dealing with hottness all night, here! Haha! Break out the Tin Machine and Black Tie videos! Lets dive in!
  • Tin Machine videos and concerts - Watch these to see David at his most garage-punk period. His scruffy beard is a lot to handle, but it's really cool. Don't you LOOOVVEEEE the suits!! EEEE!!!!
  • BOB time! Watch some early 90s videos - Miracle Goodnight is one of my favorites, but BE CAREFUL!! He looks so sexy in that black, legless outfit that my friends and I usually start crying at that point. Have a brown paper bag in hand! Watch "Jump" too. It's a little sad, but you can deal.

    Are You Mo-Fo's Ready for the New Sh- ...er, Stuff?

    Yay! Look! We get to watch RECENT stuff now! These are videos to watch that were created from Heathen on.

  • BERLIN 2002!!!! - Again, go bid if you do not own. eBay.com This has to be up in my top 5 favorite Bowie shows ever. I cannot describe to you the hottness that is seen in this video, you can only understand it by watching for youself. I will tell you that some of the best humpage in the world is contained in this little video.
  • Live in Olympia - Again, a must see! This video rox my sox right off my feet and onto the person sitting next to me. It's illegal how young he looks in this concert.

    Ok, so there are a few videos to get your NOC started. If you have other videos that you would like to add, by all means please do so. I add other videos, too. Just make sure they fit into the right places! Use the guide, young grasshopper.

    What Else???

    Ok, so you got the video thing down pat! What else can you do to make the NOC a special time?
  • Bowie Goody Bags - Go ahead, go to the party store and buy some cute Bowie related things: eyepatches, feathers, glitter, fake microphones, red hair spray, etc. If you have a cd burner, why not make your guests fun little Bowie compilations?
  • Bowie Cake - At some bakeries, you can bring in a photograph and they can scan the picture onto the top of your cake! Mmmm!!! It's edible, too. Biggest Bowie fan gets to eat the crotch!
  • Bowie Truth Or Dare - Have some fun with this game. Imagination is needed! Dare people to sing Bowie karaoke (Fame is hard!) or ask them to tell the truth of a really raunchy Bowie fantasy ;)
  • Bowie Dress-Up - Whip out the Bowie outfits, wigs, and make-up! It's time to turn eachother on! (Make sure you have a camera!)

    Be creative, have fun, and if you'd like to join my next NOC, send me an email and I'll be glad to invite you to the next one I hold ;)

    Peace out, Love on Ya's!

    NOC Terms

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