Safety.
     Security.
     Serenity.
     Heh.  Okay, maybe not *Serenity*.  She *has* hers...and I have
     mine.

Makoto hugged her life a little closer.  The sweet heat of their
bodies joining in protection against the sudden, cold breeze.  As her
lover's scent surrounded her, her thoughts drifted.

     Oh, Kami-sama...  My life was so empty before I met her.  My soul
     was empty.  No family.  No friends.

     No love.

     Ami-chan, what would I have done without you?  I was so close to
     the edge.  The abyss had been staring back at me for far too long.
     It would have been a release to embrace it...

     Then I met you.  And with a blush and shy smile, you gave me
     something else to embrace.

Makoto smiled as she remembered how the shy smile had turned much
bolder over time.

     If I have to live forever, Kami-sama, let me live it as I am now.

     Whole.


**********


     How do I tell her?  Oh, Kami-sama, *how*?

Almost as though hearing her thoughts and denying them, Mako-chan
clutched tighter against her back.  A sudden, cool wind blew past
them, bringing with it the salty smell of the ocean.  She inhaled the
clean, fresh air in an attempt to clear her thoughts.

     Those empty eyes.  The first time I saw them I could think of
     nothing but filling them with life again.

     My life.

     No well-thought-out plan.  No logic.  Just instinct.  A healer
     seeing someone in pain and rushing to their aid.  Why did I not
     see what the end result would be?

     Since we met, she's become so beautiful.  So alive.  The
     soul-sick warrior made whole again.

Fighting in vain against what she knew in her heart, Ami leaned back
into her lovers embrace.

     How do I tell her what I've known all along?

     I don't love her.