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Tech Support
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 Here are some conversations, which had actually happened between help desk people of a computer hardware company and their customers:
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Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intelinside."
                                                                
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
                                                                
Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."
                                                                
Customer: "Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it."
                                                                
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
                                                                
Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
                                                                
Customer: "I can't log in to my account."
Tech Support: "Ok, let's look at your configuration."
Customer: "Ok...but I know that my User ID is case sensitive."
Tech Support: "Yes it is. Ok, what does it say in the 'User ID' field?"
Customer: "Like I said, 'Case Sensitive'."
                                                                
Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."
                                                                
Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
                                                                
Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
                                                                
Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
                                                                
Customer: "How much do Windows cost, and do you have to buy each one separately?"
                                                                
Tech Support: "Do you have any windows open right now?"
Customer: "Are you crazy man, it's twenty below outside..."
                                                                
Tech Support: "How can I help you?"
Customer: "Well, everything is working fine, but there is one program that is not."
Tech Support: "What program is it?"
Customer: "It's called 'MSDOS Prompt'."
Tech Support: "What's wrong with it?"
Customer: "Well, I click on it, a black screen shows up with NOTHING but a sign that reads: 'C:\WINDOWS>', and it just sits there and doesn't do anything. I have to turn off the system to go back to Windows."
                                                                
Tech Support: "Now hit F8 key"
Customer: "Do I hit 'F' and '8' at the same time?"
                                                                
Tech Support: "Ok, let's try once more, but use lower case letters..."
Customer: "Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard."


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