“Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to Joyce,
happy birthday to you!”

Tavia clapped the loudest as she watched the older girl blow out all 9 candles on her cake. It may not have been her birthday but it sure did feel as though it was. Just seeing how happy the birthday girl was made her twice as happy too.

“It’s presents time, Tav!” Joyce grabbed the younger girl’s hand and pulled her towards the living room, which floor was filled with gifts of all shapes, sizes and colour. The two girls – the older one, 9 years; and the younger one, 7 years – ran hand-in-hand, giggling and squealing into the next room, nearly crashing into the presents on the floor.

“Whatever’s here is yours too,” declared the older girl as she shoved one of her gifts into the younger girl’s hands. “C’mon, let’s open them now!” she squealed as she tore off the wrapping on the present that was closest to her. Tavia giggled away silly as she followed the older girl’s actions.

“Tav!” a hand laid itself on her shoulder. Tavia snapped around and saw a handsome but boyish-looking face grinning cheekily at her. “Daydreaming again?” he sniggered. “Your best friend’s calling you,” he gestured towards the girl waving frantically behind the birthday cake, which was now adorned with twenty-four candles.

“Tav! We’re waiting for you to take the photo! Jules, could you please stop harassing my friend?” Joyce laughed as she motioned for Tavia to go over and join her behind the cake. Julian opened and shut his mouth at a loss for words, while Tavia simply chuckled at the sight of his goldfish impression, as she made her way towards Joyce.

She stood next to the girl who was older than her by two years, the girl whom she had known for almost her entire life, the girl who had been her best friend since forever. Joyce reached out to her and pulled her close. “Say cheese,” she smiled as she gently jabbed Tavia.

~~

“Phew!” Tavia slumped herself onto the beanbag next to Julian.

“Phew?” Julian raised a brow.

Tavia smirked and gave him a smack on his arm. “Shut up.”

She let her gaze wander over to where Joyce was, who had just said her last goodbye to her guests. Tavia’s smile wavered a little as she watched a well-tanned, well-built young man wrap his hands around Joyce and pull her in for a light kiss. She turned away from the scene and once again concentrated her efforts at torturing Julian.

“Phew!” Joyce exclaimed as she crashed out on to the sofa next to them.

Julian raised his brow in amusement as he looked from Joyce to Tavia, “Did you both get the same script?”

“What same script?” Marco asked as he flopped down on top of Joyce.

Joyce laughed as she snuggled into his broad, muscular chest, “Honey, you know better than to pay Jules any attention.”

“Hey! What is this?! Pick on Jules week, is it?” Julian exclaimed with feigned indignation.

“Now, now. Everyone has a purpose on this earth,” Tavia consoled him with a pat on the head as she tried to distract herself from the touchy-feely couple next to her. “Might as well face it Jules, you were put here for us to pick on.”

“Oh. Well, if you’re the one doing the picking, I don’t mind…” Julian grinned.

Tavia pulled a face. Marco laughed. “Maybe we should leave the room,” he nudged Joyce as he gestured subtly towards their two friends.

“Hey!” Tavia protested.

Julian waved nonchalantly. “Yes, yes, leave. We need some ‘quality’ time toge-.”

It was a quick move. So quick one didn’t even see it happen. The cushion was on Julian’s face before he even had time to finish his sentence. “No one’s spending any time with you. Much less, ‘quality’ time,” Tavia scowled.

“Looks like you’ll have to try harder, Jules,” Joyce laughed, causing Tavia to scowl even more.

“Okay, okay, if we’re all sane now…” Marco grinned, “…there’s a certain insane thing I’m about to do…so you all can be my witnesses and knock me unconscious if it doesn’t work out.”

Joyce looked at her boyfriend quizzically. Julian removed the cushion from his face. Tavia glanced at him disinterestedly.

Now that he had their attention, Marco cleared his throat and reached into his pants pocket. He brought out a little red velvet box.

“Oooohh…is that what I think it is?” Julian exclaimed. Tavia swallowed hard and poked Julian, “Shuddup.”

Marco grinned and turned towards Joyce. He flipped open the box. Inside was a single solitaire diamond ring. “Marry me?” he asked.

She stared at him, at a loss for words. She hadn’t expected that. Sure, they had been together for 4 years and marriage seemed like the next logical step. But still, the proposal had caught her off-guard. Then again, all she could think of doing now was to wrap her arms around him. They say the happiest day of a woman’s life is her wedding day. Well, she begged to differ. As far as she was concerned, today was the happiest day of her life.

“Err…Joyce?” Marco shook the box in front of her.

Joyce snapped from her thoughts. “Oh.”

Marco opened his eyes a fraction wider. “Oh?” That didn’t sound like a good sign at all. Maybe he should have thought more about this marriage thing before jumping into it. Maybe now was a good time for Tavia and Julian to knock him unconscious. It would definitely save him the embarrassment.

“Ermm…” he mumbled. “If you think this is too soon, I could do it another day…”

“No,” Joyce replied.

He felt his heart sink into the pits of his stomach. “Oh, ok…”

“No, I mean no, you can’t do this another day,” Joyce exclaimed seeing the look of disappointment on his face.

…pits of the stomach and now mixing with all the acid that was there. There was no way his heart was ever going to get out of this one. “Oh, ok…”

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”

Somebody just kill him now. Julian? Tavia? Anybody? Wait a minute, did she say something? “Huh?” he muttered incoherently. “What did you say?”

“I said, yes I’ll marry you,” Joyce exclaimed and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Marco could hardly contain his joy. “Did you hear that? She said yes, she said yes,” he laughed.

Julian immediately jumped up and clapped him on the back. “All right! Congratulations you two. Maybe we could make it a double wedding, huh?” he grinned at Tavia.

“I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on earth!” Tavia looked at him in disgust. She couldn’t believe that Marco had just proposed to Joyce and that her best friend had just accepted. This wasn’t happening at all. She knew she should at least show some sort of excitement. Joyce was her best friend after all. But she just couldn’t bring herself to be all happy about it.

“Tav? You all right?” Joyce looked at her friend in concern. She thought it weird that Tavia hadn’t said anything at all nor had she offered words of congratulations.

“Huh?” Tavia woke from her stupor. “Yeah? Oh, yeah. I’m fine,” she managed to force a smile and gave her friend a hug. “Congratulations.”

~~

Joyce checked her reflection in the mirror for the umpteenth time. “Are you sure I look okay in it? I mean, I don’t look fat or anything, right? I’ve got to live with these photos you know. And if they don’t turn out right, ack…” she blabbered on as she ran her hands over the satin material of her wedding gown.

The reply she was hoping to get didn’t come. In fact, there was no reply. Joyce turned around to look for her best friend. “Tav?”

She was just sitting there, her mind millions of miles away.

“Tav?” Joyce frowned and tried again. Tavia had been rather distant ever since Marco proposed to her and Joyce just could not understand why. She was also a little disappointed that her best friend didn’t seem to share her joy.

She gently tapped her friend on the shoulder and leaned into her ear. “What’s up?” Joyce whispered.

“Nothing,” Tavia lied as she shook her head.

“I don’t believe you,” Joyce replied as she sat down next to her. There was something definitely bothering her friend and Joyce was determined to get to the bottom of it. “What is it? Tell me.”

Tavia looked searchingly into her friend’s face. Should she tell her? Could she tell her? No, she couldn’t. She mustn’t. But if she didn’t, Joyce would never know. But did she want Joyce to know? What would Joyce’s reaction be if she knew?

“Tav, dear. You know I’m your best friend. Whatever it is, I’m sure if you just say it, we’d be able to work it out together,” Joyce prodded further.

Was this a sign, Tavia wondered? Did Joyce really mean what she said? Tavia wanted to believe. Oh, she so wanted to believe that Joyce’s words were true. But she just couldn’t trust herself to say what was on her mind.

Joyce sighed and made a move to go. “I need to change back into my clothes. I’m meeting Marco for dinner in an hour…”

“No,” Tavia reached out and grabbed her hand. “Don’t go. Don’t leave me…please…” she pleaded in desperation.

Joyce sat back down and held her friend in her arms. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Tavia shook her head. She didn’t know where to start. She didn’t know what to tell her. She didn’t know how to tell her.

“Does it have anything to do with me marrying Marco?” Joyce suddenly asked.

Tavia swallowed as her friend hit the nail right on the head. It was now or never. If she didn’t speak what was on her mind and in her heart, any chance of her having the nerve to say what it was she wanted to say would be close to zero.

“I don’t want you to marry him.”

There she had said it. She closed her eyes and waited for the repercussions.

Joyce drew back in astonishment. She hadn’t expected her best friend to say something like that. “Why?” she asked.

Tavia opened her eyes. She couldn’t pull back now. “Cos…” she hesitated a little. “Cos…then we’d no longer be best friends.”

Joyce breathed a sigh of relief at Tavia’s answer. “Silly girl. Of course we’ll still be best friends. We’ll always be best friends. We’ll always be together. Me marrying Marco doesn’t change that one bit.”

“We’ll always be together?” Tavia asked. “No matter what?”

“We’ll always be together. No matter what,” Joyce repeated and gave her friend another hug. “Silly girl…”

Tavia returned Joyce’s hug in earnest. It made her feel better. Joyce always made her feel better. But she still didn’t want her to marry Marco. Her fear that they would no longer be friends was only a half-truth. Joyce moved to break the hug but Tavia held on tightly, not willing to let go.

“I love you, Joyce,” Tavia mumbled into her friend’s shoulder.

Joyce smiled. “I love you too.”

“No,” Tavia replied as she broke the contact between them. “No you don’t. At least not the way I love you.”

Joyce stared at her uncomprehendingly. “What are you talking about?”

Tavia swallowed and turned away. She had long longed for Joyce to say those words, those three precious words. But now that she finally had, Tavia couldn’t help but feel a great disappointment.

“Don’t you know?” her voice was a whisper but she knew Joyce could hear her. Then she turned back round to face her friend again. “I love you, Joyce. I love you. I’ve loved you since the day we met.”

Joyce’s jaw dropped a little. She couldn’t believe her best friend was saying all these things to her. “Do you know what you’re saying?” she exclaimed in disbelief. “We’re…we’re the same. You can’t love me! It’s wrong.”

“Why?” Tavia asked. “What’s wrong with it? Love’s a feeling. And it’s what I’ve felt for you as long as I’ve known you. Why does it matter if we’re both girls?”

Joyce shook her head. “You’re confused. Yes, that’s what you are. Confused. I think you should go home and rest.” She got up. She had to get away. To be told by her best friend that her feelings towards her were more than the platonic kind, it was just too much for her to handle.

“Joyce…” Tavia’s eyes pleaded with hers to understand.

“I’m sorry,” Joyce shook her head again as she tried to avoid Tavia’s gaze. “Look, there’s just been so much happening today. I’m totally exhausted. I-I need to go…”

“Joyce…” Tavia choked back her tears as she watched her best friend retreat from her.

~~

Joyce stared at her mobile phone. It had been ringing non-stop the last couple of minutes. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to answer it. Flashing on and off on her caller ID were “Tavia calling.”
Marco crept up behind Joyce and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Aren’t you going to answer that?” he mumbled as he snuggled into her neck.

It startled her. Nonetheless the warmth of his body and strong arms did make her feel a tad better. She quickly pressed the silent key on her phone, before turning it off altogether.

“Mmm…” Joyce smiled at him as she leaned into his chest. “It’s nobody…”

“Well, nobody seems to have been calling for awhile,” Marco commented. “Is everything all right? How about a penny for your thoughts?” he grinned.

Joyce couldn’t help but snicker at that. If she did have a penny for all her thoughts, she’d be pretty rich by now. She didn’t tell him but at this point in time, her thoughts were on Tavia.

She hadn’t seen her friend since that day at the wedding studio. Tavia had tried calling her numerous times but each time Joyce had let her calls ring till they died. She didn’t want to answer because she didn’t know what to say to her friend. Somehow she just couldn’t bring herself to face her. What had she done for Tavia to misunderstand her feelings towards her, anyway? Couldn’t her friend see that it was all so wrong?

“You know,” Marco contemplated. “We haven’t seen Jules or Tav for a long while. I wonder how they are? Maybe we should give them a call and arrange for dinner or something. What do you think?”

Joyce froze at his suggestion. Tavia? She wasn’t ready to see her yet. No, not so soon after what happened anyway. She just couldn’t see her. How would she behave in front of her? She couldn’t just forget all that had happened. It would just be too awkward to see her right now.

“I think they’re pretty busy, honey. Well, I know Tav is anyway,” Joyce lied. “We can always make it another time.” She couldn’t tell Marco what had happened. She didn’t want him to know. She didn't want anyone to know. If she pretended it didn’t happen, maybe it never did.

“Hmm…” Marco frowned. “I suppose so…” He couldn’t understand why his fiancée had been acting so strange these last few weeks. And every time he brought up the subject of Tavia, she would just brush it away. But he let the matter lie each time. If she wanted him to know, she would tell him.

Joyce didn’t know why her best friend’s confession was affecting her so much. She supposed it was the shock. She didn’t expect another girl to have such feelings for her. Tavia was her friend for goodness sake. Didn’t that mean feelings stayed platonic? How could girls like girls? Wasn’t that wrong? She shook her head to clear her mind.

Why was she feeling so repulsed towards it all? Could it be that she was in love with Tavia too? Could it be that she had been in denial this whole time? No! No way! Joyce closed her eyes as she tried to block those thoughts away. The whole thing was just wrong. It was ridiculously wrong. There was no way she had the same feelings Tavia had for her. Just no way. It wasn’t right.

She wasn’t some freak. She liked guys. She had Marco. Marco was her everything. She was going to marry him. They would lead a happy normal life. Yes, that was it. Normal. She was normal. Very normal.

All she wanted was to lead a normal life. And Marco was the one who could give her that life. She was so close to making it come true only to have it seemingly shatter in front of her. Why did Tavia have to tell her what she told her? For a slight moment she was angry with her friend. Angry that she was ruining her happiness. Angry that she was ruining her life.

She didn't want to think about it anymore. She couldn't face her friend, not after what had been said. She was going to marry Marco, she was going to be his wife. Tavia would only be her very best friend, like they had always been. But then, what did the words, ‘best friend’, mean now?

She had no answer for that. All she knew was that she needed to be alone, to be away from Tavia, to rethink all that had happened. Call it a cooling off period, call it whatever, she didn’t care. All she knew was there was no way she could bring herself to see her friend just yet.

~~

Tavia clutched her mobile tightly as she waited for Joyce to pick up. But it just kept on ringing and ringing until the line finally went dead. She hung up reluctantly, then after a moment’s hesitation, tried her friend’s number again.

“I’m sorry, the number you have dialed cannot be reached at the moment. Please try again later.”

She closed her eyes and drew her feet up to her chest as she rocked back and forth on her bed. She wished she hadn’t said anything to Joyce. She wished she could turn back time. She wished for everything to be right again. She wished for Joyce to talk to her once more. She wished. She wished.

But it had been done.

And it had been disastrous.

Tavia chided herself for being so hasty, for being so naïve to think that her friend could possibly harbour the same feelings she had. She wanted to take everything back, take back all she had said. But it was too late now. Her worst fears had come true. Joyce had rejected her. Joyce had been totally appalled.

This wasn’t the first time she had tried calling her friend to explain. But Joyce wouldn’t even pick up her calls. Her best friend didn’t want to talk to her at all. Let alone, see her.

She suddenly perked up as she heard the frantic ringing of her doorbell outside. Could it be Joyce? Joyce had come to see her after all. Tavia jumped up from bed and stumbled excitedly outside towards her front door. She threw it open, all psyched up.

“Joy-“

“Hey,” Julian grinned at her.

The smile disappeared from Tavia’s face. “Oh, it’s you.”

Any other guy would have been totally disheartened. But not Julian. He was used to it. His skin was thick enough to withstand whatever it was that Tavia threw at him. He liked her, although he knew that the feeling wasn’t mutual. But he was hoping that she would eventually change her mind and see what a great guy he was. He grinned again at that last thought.

“Yea, it’s me,” Julian said as he invited himself into her apartment. “What’s up with you? You haven’t been picking up your calls for a couple of days.”

Tavia sighed. She really didn’t wish to see anybody except Joyce. And she wasn’t in the mood to entertain Mr. Clown either. “Nothing,” she replied curtly.

“Nothing? Let’s catch a movie then. Since you’re doing nothing anyway. There’s this new comedy that’s showing…”

“Don’t want to. Headache,” she brushed him off, hoping that he would just go away and leave her alone.

No chance of that though.

Julian immediately brought his hand to her forehead. “Are you all right? Do you need to go see a doctor?”

“It’s just a headache. I’m going to sleep it off. You can see yourself out,” Tavia told him as she headed back towards her bedroom.

“But what if you’re hungry after you wake up? Why don’t I cook some porridge for you? You can eat it later…”

“Whatever,” Tavia sighed as she closed the door behind her. Maybe if she stayed in her room long enough, he’d go away.

There was something else she needed to do, she stared at her closed door as she contemplated. Yes, she decided. She’d write Joyce a letter. She needed to explain to her friend. She needed to explain herself. And if Joyce wasn’t going to pick up her calls, she might read her letter instead. Not that Tavia believed it, but it was worth a try anyway.

She sat down at her desk, pulled out some paper and started writing. Damn this headache, Tavia cursed as she tried to compose her words. With her free hand, she dug through her drawers for the bottle of Panadol she had stashed in there. Twisting it opened, she took two out and washed it down with a glass of water.

5 minutes later she was still staring at an empty piece of paper. Why wouldn’t the headache just go away, she rubbed her forehead in irritation, as she popped another two Panadols.

“Dear Joyce…” Tavia started to scribble. Her head was still pounding like a jackhammer. Those Panadols didn’t seem to be much help at all, Tavia grumbled. Maybe if she took more…She poured out the contents of the bottle and grabbed a handful of the pills scattered on her table, popping them all at once into her mouth.

The words seemed to be flowing easier now. The headache was still there although it didn’t feel as bad as before. Tavia took another handful of the Panadols. Maybe after this lot, the headache would go away altogether, she decided as she placed them into her mouth.

She finished the last bit of the letter and reread it. Yes, that should do it, Tavia told herself as she sealed it in an envelope and stuffed it into her jacket pocket. She’ll post it first thing tomorrow morning. Now she just needed to close her eyes. All that thinking had made her light-headed and sleepy…

Julian stirred the porridge absent-mindedly, his thoughts filled with worry for Tavia. She wasn’t feeling well. Should he go call a doctor anyway? He knew that Tavia would chuck a fit if he went ahead and did so even after she had said she didn’t need a doctor, but it was better to be safe than sorry, right? He lifted the ladle to his mouth for a taste, burning his tongue in the process. Ouch, he winced. Maybe he should just let her sleep it off. And if she still doesn’t feel better, he’ll take her to the doctor’s. Yes, he decided. That was what he would do.

He scooped the porridge out into a bowl and carried it towards Tavia’s bedroom.

“Tav?” he knocked. “The porridge’s ready.”

No reply.

Maybe she was asleep. He’d try again in awhile. Meanwhile, he’d just watch some TV.

The ending strains of the X-files theme song woke him from his slumber. Damn, he cursed, how could he have fallen asleep and missed his favourite TV programme? He looked at the bowl of porridge in front of him. It was untouched. How long had he been asleep? He checked his watch. Damn, he cursed again. One bloody hour! He jumped up from the sofa and headed towards Tavia’s room once more.

“Tav!” he knocked. Still no reply. He frowned. It had been over an hour since she had retreated into her room. Surely she would be awake by now. He knocked louder. “Tav! Wakey, wakey!” He tried the doorknob but it was locked. Something didn’t feel right. He didn’t know what but a wave of discomfort had suddenly swept over him. He knocked at Tavia’s door again.

“Tav! Come on, open up!”

There was no noise, no sound coming from her room at all. Okay, now’s the time to panic, Julian decided. Shoving his body into her door, he crashed into it, breaking the lock. Oh boy, Julian shook his head at the wooden splinters. Tavia was definitely not going to be pleased about this.

But she didn’t seem to have noticed at all. Her head was resting on the desk. It looked as though she had fallen asleep there.

“Tav?” Julian tried shaking her gently. That was when he noticed the empty bottle of Panadol. “Shit!” he exclaimed. “Tav! Come on, wake up!” he shook her with more force this time.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Julian put his arms around her and picked her up. He had to get her to a hospital in record time. He just hoped it wasn’t too late.

~~

Joyce rushed frantically into the A&E department with Marco trailing along behind her.

“How is she? What happened?” she gasped as she reached a slouched-over-on-the bench-face-in-hands Julian.

Julian lifted his head slowly at the familiar voice. His eyes were swollen and red. Joyce took a step back when she saw him. It was written all over his face.

“No…” she whispered as she stumbled backwards into Marco’s body.

Julian buried his face in his hands again. “I was too late,” he mumbled in between sobs. “Pills…too many…damn…too late, too late…” he muttered on illogically.

Joyce couldn’t think. This wasn’t happening. It was all a dream. Yes, that was what it was, all just a dream. Jules was definitely playing a trick on her. Tavia was probably in on it as well. It was all just a joke. It had to be, it had to be…Her body went limp and she felt herself slide towards the ground. Marco quickly held her up and guided her towards the bench. He held on tightly to her as she buried her face into his shoulders and started sobbing uncontrollably.

A nurse walked out from the emergency room and stared at them. “Are you related to the deceased?” she asked.

Marco shook his head. “We’re friends. Her family’s not in the country.”

The nurse nodded. “Well, there’s some paperwork that’s needed to be taken care of. Can one of you follow me?”

Marco looked at Julian. His friend didn’t seem to be in any state to deal with this. He gently nudged Joyce. “Honey, I need to go with the nurse. I’m going to just leave you here for a few minutes, okay? I promise I’ll be back as soon as possible.”

She didn’t want him to go. “No…” she held on to him tightly.

He sighed. He was reluctant to leave her too but somebody had to settle Tavia’s things and Jules nor Joyce were up to it at all. “Honey, I promise I’ll be back quick. It’ll just be a few minutes. 2 minutes. 2 minutes and I’ll be back, okay?”

Joyce nodded reluctantly as she released her grip on him. As soon as Marco left, she leaned back into the cold wall and slowly turned to look at Julian. This was affecting him as much as it was affecting her. She knew how much he was in love with Tavia. It was no big secret. “Jules…”

Julian lifted his head and met her eyes. He shook his head. “It’s all my fault, it’s all my fault. I should have checked on her earlier. Damn it, Joyce. Why? Why?”

Joyce swallowed. She had no words for him. She was still hoping that he would suddenly break out in his trademark grin and tell her it was all a joke, while Tavia would bounce out of the emergency room all alive and well. Everything would be like it was before again.

“Oh, I found this in her jacket pocket,” Julian said impassively as he held out an envelope for her. “It’s addressed to you.”

Joyce stared at it for a while before reaching out for it. With trembling hands, she slowly removed the letter inside.

“Dear Joyce,

You’d probably crush this letter up just as soon as you know it’s from me. But since you wouldn’t pick up my calls, this is probably the only way. So please just hear me out. Please. I promise it won’t take up much of your time.

I’m sorry.

I’m really, really sorry.

Can you ever forgive me? Can we forget what happened that day at the wedding studio? It was all my fault. I shouldn’t have said all those things to you. I didn’t know what was going through my mind at that time. I’m really sorry.

These last few weeks have been totally unbearable. I miss you. I really miss you. Do you know how much you mean to me? You’re my best friend, Joyce. You’ve always been there for me. You’re my pillar of strength. Everything just falls apart when you’re not here. I fall apart when you’re not here. I can’t live without you. I don’t exist without you.

Why won’t you pick up my calls? Why won’t you see me? Didn’t you say that we’d always be together, no matter what?

Please talk to me again. Please.

Love,
Tav”

Joyce slumped back against the wall, her face wet from her tears, as she clutched the letter and reread it again and again and again. She felt cold. She felt sick. She felt…she didn’t know what she felt. She just wanted Tavia back. She wanted her best friend back.

“I’m sorry, Tav. I’m so sorry,” she mumbled in between her tears. She wished Tavia could hear her. “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me, please forgive me…”

“Honey?” Marco had returned to find Joyce sobbing even more uncontrollably than when he had left her.

“It’s my fault,” Joyce wept. “It’s all my fault!”

Marco tried to hold her. “I know you’re upset but it’s not your fault, honey.”

“You don’t understand!” Joyce yelled as she hysterically waved the letter in front of him.

Marco reached out towards her again but she evaded him.

“No! Leave me alone!” she cried as she ran out of the hospital.

“Joyce!” he hurriedly chased after her.

She ran and ran, her tears streaming down her face. It was her fault. It was all her fault. Her best friend was dead because of her. She had been the cause of it all. Why hadn’t she picked up her calls? Why did she run away from her? Why hadn’t she been more understanding? Why was this happening? Why? Why?

“Joyce!” Marco caught up with her and grabbed her arm, swinging her back towards him.

“Let me go!” Joyce struggled as she tried to free herself from his grasp.

“Joyce, listen to me. It’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault, okay?” Marco tried reasoning with her.

She shook her head violently. “It is my fault. It’s my fault she died,” she broke free from his grasp and ran out onto the road to get away from him.

“I wouldn’t listen to her. I wasn’t there for her. I didn’t-” she choked on her next word. “-love her. Why didn’t I love her?!” Joyce cried out at him.

“It is all my faul-”

The truck driver slammed on his brakes as soon as he saw her run out, but the loud thud he heard told him that he was too late. The impact threw Joyce across the road and into the path of a coming car. Marco could only scream her name as he saw her hit the car’s windscreen.

“Noooo…” he ran out to where she was lying.

A pool of blood had begun to gather around her head. Her body twitched involuntarily as her eyes stared into nothingness. As Marco reached her, the letter she had been holding fluttered towards the ground, part of it landing in her pool of blood. The red seeped through the paper, highlighting a particular line in the letter:

…we’d always be together, no matter what.




Story originally posted at winglin fanfic on April 2nd, 2003.

All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.