CHAPTER 12: THREE STOOGES MINUS ONE

“What are you going to eat?” Louis asked Nick as they were waiting in the cafeteria queue.

No answer. Louis frowned and nudged his friend.

“Hey, I was talking to you.”

“Huh?” Nick looked at Louis quizzically.

Louis stared at him up and down. “What’s been up with you these couple of days? Your body’s here but your mind seems to have gone on some holiday.”

“Huh?” Nick muttered again.

Louis snapped his fingers exaggeratedly in front of Nick as if trying to wake his friend from whatever trance he was in. “Hello…earth calling Nick. Is there anyone in there?”

Nick brushed Louis’ fingers away in irritation. “Cut it out.”

Louis stopped his finger snapping mid-air and stared at his friend curiously. “Okay, what the hell’s going on?”

“Do you think Jess likes you?” Nick suddenly asked Louis.

“What?” Louis exclaimed in surprise.

“I asked if you…”

“I know what you asked. I heard you the first time round,” Louis interrupted. “Is that what’s been bothering you?”

“Bothering me? Who said it was bothering me? I was just asking,” Nick shrugged feigning nonchalance.

Louis grinned at Nick. “I don’t know. What makes you think she likes me?”

“Just gut feel,” came the reply.

“Gut feel?! Hell, you sound like a woman!” Louis chuckled.

“What if she does like you? What are you going to do about it?” Nick pressed on ignoring Louis’ remark.

Louis looked at Nick incredulously. “What am I going to do about it? Nothing,” he said.

“Nothing?”

“Nothing,” Louis reiterated. “She’s not my type.”

“She’s not?”

“She’s not.”

“She’s not?”

“How many times do you want me to repeat myself? She’s not.”

“She’s not?”

“Hell, you sure sound like a broken record.” Louis remarked.

“You’re sure?”

“Am I sure you sound like a broken record? Yea, I'm sure.” Louis replied with a grin.

“No. I mean, you're sure she's not your type?” Nick said, looking really serious.

Louis frowned at his friend again. “Yeeesss. I…am…ve…ry…su…re,” he repeated each word slowly.

“Oh. Erm…so, you’re cool if I, sort of like, ask her out?” Nick asked cautiously.

“Err…yeeeaa. Why are you asking me anyway?” Louis eyed him oddly.

Nick shrugged. “Don’t know.” Then he seemed to regain back some of his composure. “Yeah,” he frowned at Louis at last. “Why the hell am I asking you anyway?”

“Ahem. Are you two done discussing the story of your lives? You do know there’s a queue behind you.”

Both guys turned towards the direction of the voice. Glowering at them was a Pavarotti-like looking woman dressed in an apron that at one point in time could have been white in colour.

“Err...I’ll have the Yeong Chow fried rice,” Louis said sheepishly.

“Make that two,” Nick mumbled.

“Two Yeong Chow fried rice!” the woman shouted towards her back as Louis and Nick hurriedly picked up a can of Coke each and made their way down the line.

Louis grinned at Nick as they sat down at the table. “So, when are you planning on asking her out?”

“When do you think I should do it? Should I ask her for dinner? Or should I ask her for movies? Or should we go hiking?” Nick blabbered incoherently.

“Hey! Slow down. Hell, you really haven’t had a woman for a long, long, long time, have you?” Louis chortled.

“Shhss…can you keep your voice down? I really don’t need the whole world to know,” Nick whispered as he lowered his head and looked around the cafeteria embarrassingly.

Louis laughed. “Ask her out for dinner AND the movies. Also…I don’t think you should mention hiking. She doesn’t look like the hiking-type.”

“Oh. Yeah…you may be right. No hiking. Dinner and movie, hmm…yeah,” Nick mumbled.

“Call her now,” Louis said as he handed Nick his mobile phone.

“Now?” Nick asked nervously.

“C’mon! Are you a man or not?!” Louis forced the phone into his friend’s hand.

Nick just stared at the phone in his hand. Louis rolled his eyes, took it back and dialed in Jess’ number for him instead.

“Here,” he said as he shoved it at Nick’s ear.

Without having said anything though, Nick quickly grabbed it from Louis and hung it up instead. Louis stared at his friend unbelievably.

“Voicemail,” Nick grinned at Louis sheepishly.